It is difficult to build a strong and friendly family if there are serious conflicts over financial issues. In order not to jeopardize relationships, it is necessary to pay attention to finances and look for common ground in this area. People who don't monitor their expenses, don't try to save and plan for the future are much more likely to have conflicts and get divorced.
Evgenia Bliskavka, an experienced financial adviser, author of books on financial literacy and an expert at the Ministry of Finance, spoke about the correct management of the family budget and harmony in family finances.
How to avoid quarrels over money disagreements?
You need to figure out what attitudes spouses have towards money. Typically, certain behavioral stereotypes are established in childhood. If family members look in different directions when it comes to finances, relationships can deteriorate.
HSE teacher Polina Zhidkova wrote a scientific paper on how financial conflicts lead to the collapse of families. According to her, there are several types of disagreements that lead to financial wars. The most dangerous option is when spouses do not have the same values and have different attitudes towards financial instruments. Families are under threat in which one spouse is determined to save, and the other is accustomed to quickly spending everything he earns. The second option is married couples, where one feels quite comfortable paying off several loans, while the other has a negative attitude towards even small borrowings. Such people often conflict over trifles, because they plan the future and evaluate their actions on different planes.
When living together, it is necessary to develop a suitable strategy for managing the family budget. You can even write down these rules on paper and periodically check how well you are following them. According to Harvard Business School professor John Davis, family finances should be discussed at least once a quarter, and all material problems should be discussed.
If spouses are so emotional that they cannot calmly talk about money, you can involve a third party in the negotiations, for example, a professional financial advisor. From the outside, the root of the problem is sometimes more visible.
Don't overuse criticism
Criticism is a boomerang that always comes back. If we begin to criticize, there is no doubt that we will be reciprocated in kind. When a wife tells her husband that he is unshaven and looks bad, she may hear in response: “First, look at yourself, what you look like.” Criticism should also include positive elements; it should not affect the partner’s dignity, but rather “push” him to self-criticism. Critical remarks should not be made in the form of attacks; criticism should not be direct: when criticizing a partner, it is necessary to simultaneously praise something positive in him.
Mistakes in managing a family budget
They do not devote time to discussing financial issues. The reasons may be different: inconvenient, inappropriate, boring, etc.
It is necessary to discuss:
- financial goals and ways to achieve them;
- family budget and how to spend funds;
- financial policy of the family (put a premium on a bank deposit or go on vacation, expand the living space or be content with the existing footage, focus on savings or actively take out loans, etc.).
- How to teach your child to handle money.
They live at random. Don't plan for the future
Without setting goals, it is difficult to achieve significant financial results. There must also be an understanding of how the financial task can be solved. Otherwise, you will probably be overcome by anxiety about the future.
They don't want to control the budget
Without control, individual items of the family budget can grow by 10-20% every year, so it is necessary to periodically check the state of finances. If you audit your budget at least a couple of times a year, you will immediately see whether you are within the limits of what is permitted, and how much the developed mechanism for distributing money helps you achieve your goals.
Are into altruism
Some Russians like to sacrifice their own interests and try to help others at the expense of themselves. Altruists do not have enough money left for personal needs. They hope that the problems they have created for themselves will suddenly disappear. Sometimes they try to change their attitude towards money, but it doesn’t work. You can get out of this situation if you follow a simple rule - pay first to your future. Immediately after receiving your salary, you need to transfer a certain amount of funds into suitable financial instruments.
They don’t praise themselves or their loved ones for financial success.
Without this, it is difficult to make friends with money. Checking your budget for the month and thanking each other for modest but consistent successes in financial matters is always pleasant and useful.
Family quarrels
Advice from lawyers:
1. Family quarrel. The husband hit his drunken wife, three ribs were broken. Punishment?
1.1. Hello. At least Art. 115 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation.
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2. The wife witnessed a family quarrel, the victim called the police, after about a month she was called in for questioning, since the victim indicated her as a witness to the quarrel, can she refuse to testify, and what will happen to her.
2.1. Maybe. But they will oblige or involve you under Articles 306-307-308 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation.
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3. The former employer, for whom I have not worked for a year, wants to blame the shortfall on me, I did not work officially like all the other employees, there is no evidence that any of the employees took anything at all, no, a complete inventory at the site was not carried out and was liked only after my departure and the departure of many colleagues, after some time. The boss is my relative, and due to a family quarrel, he threatens to take revenge on me. What should I do, where should I complain?
3.1. If YOU were not officially employed and did not sign inventory documents, then there is no way that the shortage can be “hung” on you. Currently, you have no grounds for complaints.
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3.2. Don't complain anywhere. Just send him... to court. Let him prove what he considers necessary.
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4. The situation is as follows: the husband hit his wife, the wife recorded the beating to the police. Afterwards they reconciled and the husband avoided responsibility through the reconciliation of the parties. After this, the local newspaper published an article about a family quarrel between teacher spouses and intersected the family quarrel with the work of their teachers. Can the personal life of teachers become a public interest in this way, or is this a violation of privacy? Is it worth suing a newspaper or is there no point?
4.1. Of course, it makes sense to go not only to the court, but also to the investigative committee under Part 2 of Art. 137 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. Everything outside of an educational institution is private life.
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4.2. You need to know exactly the text of the publication and the actual events taking place. If the article does not indicate any specifics, then it is useless to sue. And this is most likely the case.
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5. There was a family quarrel. And the guy recorded a public address to the girl. The girl does not lead a healthy lifestyle and commits these actions in the presence of her son. Who is right?
5.1. Public dissemination of information about the private life of a person is a criminal offense under Art. 137 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. If the information is false, then liability under Art. 128.1 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation.
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6. We are divorced, but we have two children living together. In a family quarrel, we had a fight, without assault, but this is the third time. My ex-wife and I wrote an explanatory note. Would you like to know what will happen? Thank you!
6.1. If the peace of other citizens is not disturbed, nothing will happen.
Did the answer help you?YesNo
7. During a family quarrel, the husband hit him once and broke one rib; the hospital called the police and wrote an explanatory note. He now faces criminal liability, the district police officer said. You can write some kind of refusal since we have three children.
7.1. If he has not been previously convicted, then you will now be able to reconcile in court or during the investigation of a criminal case, in connection with which the criminal case may be terminated due to the reconciliation of the parties.
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8. After a family quarrel, my husband kicks me out of the house. I'm on maternity leave. The child is 10 months old. And he won't give me the child. What should I do, maybe call the police?
8.1. Hello Olga! Yes you can call the police. After all, by depriving a 10-month-old child of his mother, the father puts his life in danger! What is the cause of your conflict?
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9. There was a family quarrel with a fight between parents in the presence of children 7 and 4 years old for the first time)... The wife called the police, but at the police station she refused to write a statement. But at the same time, the Juvenile Affairs Inspector asked the wife to sign an explanatory note... Now the husband is being summoned to the juvenile affairs commission. What happens if the husband does not appear at the commission. And how does this threaten children and families in the future?
9.1. Elena, they will register you. I don't recommend not going. At the most, deprivation of parental rights.
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10. I rented out an apartment to a married couple. I myself live in another city. During an argument, the wife jumped from the balcony to her death. The door was sealed. They can't find the keys to the front door. Means There were no events. Question: Do they have the right to break into the front door to carry out funds? Events or should I be notified and invited?
10.1. Good evening! Investigative actions (inspection of the scene of the incident) are carried out immediately after the incident is reported. Contact the police with a statement that you are the owner of the apartment and ask to return the keys to the apartment. You also express your request not to visit your apartment without your knowledge. Keep a copy of the application for yourself. After this, change the locks. If your door is broken into, write a complaint to the prosecutor's office.
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10.2. You must be contacted as the owner of the apartment.
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10.3. This is not just your apartment that you rented out, it is also the scene of the incident. Either she fell out on her own or they helped her. Contact the investigator/interrogator who has the material and resolve all issues with him.
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11. We had a family quarrel during which my father stabbed my husband with a knife and my husband beat his father, they have no complaints against each other, but the district police officer does not leave him alone.
11.1. Hello! Well, here the district police officer is doing everything right. A criminal case may be initiated regarding this fact. The fact that they have no complaints does not mean anything yet.
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12. The wife constantly attends psychology courses aimed at stabilizing family relationships, but after which quarrels with her husband flare up with greater force, and even more claims are made against the husband. Is there an article in Russian legislation that prohibits one of the spouses from attending unauthorized courses or trainings in psychology?
12.1. — Hello, there are no such laws, and visiting is voluntary. You can refuse it. Good luck to you and all the best, with respect, lawyer Legostaeva A.V.
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13. During a family quarrel due to alcohol intoxication, the wife stabbed her husband in the leg. During interrogation, she told it like it was. A protocol was drawn up and a criminal case was opened. My husband is in the surgical department. He has no complaints against his wife and admits that he himself provoked the situation. Question: What will happen to the wife?
13.1. It all depends on this examination, in fact, her act attracts 111 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation and this case will not be stopped, it will be initiated against her and there will be an investigation, we should have thought earlier.
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13.2. Good afternoon, dear visitor! Criminal liability, article depends on the severity of harm to health. A forensic expert will determine. All the best, I wish you good luck in resolving your issue!
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13.3. Hello, If the parties reconcile before the trial or during the trial, then the case will simply end and nothing will happen to the spouse.
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14. Can a court order evict a mother and sister from an apartment with a share purchase for non-payment of rent or family quarrels?
14.1. Hello! If you are the owner of a share in the apartment, then there are no grounds for eviction. Utility debts can be collected in court.
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14.2. Novel. Good evening. It all depends on who you live there as. If they are purely registered and you do not have the right to a share, then the owner’s claim for eviction is indeed possible. . You can always find a way out of any situation. Good luck to you and all the best in your endeavors.
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14.3. Good day to you. If you are the owner of a share, they cannot do it without your desire. I wish you good luck in resolving your issue and all the best.
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15. Neighbors often make noise at 21-22 o'clock - either drunken family quarrels or noisy repair work. Can I ask them to be quiet? By law you can't make noise after 11 p.m.? If I call the police, can the police not tell the trespassers which tenant called them?
15.1. Regarding this fact, it is necessary to file a complaint with the district police officer in connection with the violation of the rules of silence that are established in the city of Kazan, an inspection will be carried out, a preventive conversation will be held, and if this is repeated, the district police officer has the right to impose an administrative fine.
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16. I was given 200 hours of service in court for a family quarrel. How many hours a day and how many times a week should he work? Crimea. Simferopol.
16.1. You can work at least all the hours during the week, but in fact it depends on where you will work and what the working hours are in this organization.
Did the answer help you?YesNo
17. Can a local police officer come to my place of work if my husband wrote a statement against me regarding a family quarrel?
17.1. Hello, Natalia. No, he will either come to the house with prior warning, or call you with a summons. He won't go to work.
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17.2. He might even come to work if he can’t find you at home. He will ask his husband where you work and come, no one has the right to interfere with this. You can go to the local police officer yourself if you don’t want him to come to work.
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17.3. This is not a legal question. The district police officer can choose any time and place for the conversation, and you have the right to say that your nature of work does not allow you to be distracted by conversations and you are ready to come to another place or at another time. The district police officer has at least three days to verify the application.
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18. In a quarrel, he took the car keys from his wife, he registered the car in her name, it was included in the insurance, he bought a damaged car and restored it himself with his own hands, not from the family budget. What will happen to me for this? Are you planning to file for divorce?
18.1. Hello! Common property can be divided both during the marriage and after its dissolution - within 3 years. When dividing property, common property is divided in equal shares, taking into account the interests of common children. The debts of the spouses are also subject to division in accordance with Article 39 of the RF IC (loans, obligations under contracts). A statement of claim for division of property is filed at the place of residence of the defendant, and if real estate is divided, then the claim is filed at the location of the real estate. Please note: things given to one of the spouses are not subject to division, as well as property belonging to the spouse before marriage (Article 36 of the RF IC). Contributions made by spouses at the expense of common property in the name of minor children are also not subject to division.
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18.2. If the car was purchased during marriage, then this is your common property; you need to file for division of property, including the car.
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19. During a family quarrel, the stepfather hit his stepdaughter in the face, leaving bruises, the beatings were removed from a 14-year-old child and the mother wrote a statement to the police. How to withdraw a statement from the police?
19.1. No way to pick it up. More precisely, the matter will not be stopped early, because... this is Art. 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation refers to a crime of private-public prosecution. You will not be able to terminate the case at will. Criminal cases of private-public prosecution are initiated only at the request of the victim or his legal representative, but are not subject to termination due to reconciliation between the victim and the accused.
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19.2. Good day! Natalya, you need to go to the police department where you filed the statement and write a new statement stating that you do not want to be held accountable. This is the case if a criminal case has not been initiated.
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20. Can I collect an explanatory note from the police against my husband (family quarrel) if the case has not been taken to court. The statement that the husband wrote said that he allegedly took it away and refused the testimony that he had given earlier. Whether the court will hear the case or not.
20.1. “Can I take an explanatory note from the police against my husband (family quarrel) if the case has not been taken to court.
“You can’t take the application back, I think that they won’t open a case against you after receiving an explanatory note from you...
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This is the situation. Last September, during a family quarrel, in a state of rage, he accidentally broke his wife’s collarbone.
My husband and I are divorced, I filed a claim for the division of property acquired during marriage,
During a family quarrel, she filed for alimony for her husband. Now we have reconciled how to write a waiver of alimony?
Please, do the police have the right to leave me in an administrative detention cell? During a family domestic quarrel. For a day.
My friend is being charged under Part 1 of Article 116 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. During the investigation, he refused to testify in accordance with s.
In a family quarrel with my husband, he grabbed a knife to scare me, I wrote a statement. We decided to see if I could withdraw the application.
In a family quarrel with my husband, he grabbed a knife to scare me, we measured whether I could withdraw the statement.
My husband's brother hit me in the face during a family quarrel, I fell, broke my knee, bruised my palm and my phone broke.
A worker works in our organization and he recently sent all sorts of notes to my cell phone number via WhatsApp.
My sister had a family quarrel with her husband, they got into a fight. There were no visible beatings, but my husband was left with a scratch on his back.
The wife filed a lawsuit for alimony after a family quarrel. He lives with me, I fully support them, how can I appeal this issue in court? Thank you in advance.
How to maintain harmony in the family if the spouses’ salaries differ greatly?
The main thing is not to be afraid to discuss this topic and be able to find common ground. If the views on money issues are approximately the same, a large difference in income will not be a problem. This can be compared to a situation where spouses have different work schedules. It may be inconvenient, but the reason for divorce is not visible here.
Wrong attitudes can sink the ship of love. For example, if one of the spouses believes that the husband should definitely earn more. In this case, you need to work with the settings.
Don't interrupt, but listen
It is difficult to control the actions of another person, but you can always monitor your own behavior. One of the most important rules that help resolve conflict is the ability to listen. Perhaps all the quarrels that arise in the family occur precisely because neither spouse has ever given the other a chance to speak out. As mentioned above, you need to be able to take control of your emotions. What is needed for this? Don't interrupt, count to 10 to yourself and just listen.
Family is love, which means you don’t need to prove that you’re right, but make concessions and be more attentive to each other. This will not only help avoid negative consequences, but also improve family life.
Principles of proper financial education of children
- First of all, you need to be an example worthy of emulation. The child will subconsciously adopt how adults treat money.
- Instill in your child an interest in the basics of financial literacy. In recent years, a lot of different formats of information on this topic have appeared: cartoons, books, games, tasks, etc.
- Don't forget about the practical side of things. Plan purchases together, choose products based on price/quality ratio. Instill skills in managing a personal budget, teach them to save for their goals, etc.
People who learned the basics of handling money in childhood have a much easier time starting adult life.
- Related Posts
- Joint financial management is the key to strong family relationships
- How is finance divided during divorce?
- Equally or fairly: how to divide property during a divorce
Family is sacred!
- In our world there are many valuable and expensive things that people chase after. But no, nothing is more valuable than a strong and friendly family.
- Family is such a native world in which the feelings of loved ones are warm.
- Family is a place where you can hide from difficulties, grief and failures.
- Only in the family will they support, help, lend a helping hand. And only relatives will be happy with the success sincerely and with all their hearts.
- Family values and secrets must be protected and respected.
- The family will be there throughout your life. When you have your own shoulder nearby, you have self-confidence.
- There should always be respect and mutual assistance in a family; those people who gave us life and who share it with us are the closest and most beloved.
- Parents are our roots, our beginning. Children are our branches, shoots, our continuation.
- Every family has some traditions that are passed down through generations. Special celebrations of certain dates, holidays when the family meets and gathers around the table.
- There is no need to neglect your family, even if some disagreements occur, only those close to you will tell the truth and will not lie in order to please.
- If the family is strong, then the person stands on his feet firmly. He has that very little world where you can forget about your problems for a while. Plunge into warmth and comfort.
- Here everyone is loved and important. In this world of relatives, an inexhaustible source of energy, love and understanding.
- You need to enjoy the time when your family is nearby.
- You need to be proud of your family and make your family proud of you!
- Love for your neighbor works wonders...
Little communication
As it has become known, people living together for some reason are increasingly experiencing difficulties in communicating with each other, which cannot but affect the relationship as a whole. This can happen even during the most ordinary discussion of the future, for example, what to do on vacation, where to go, and can also happen during more serious and substantive conversations about life: the number of children, financial issues, etc. But without the most important communication skills - ability to listen and hear each other - it can be difficult to come to a common decision. Misunderstandings resulting from this can cause serious damage to your relationship and lead to constant conflicts.
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You will need to decide who takes out the trash, washes the dishes, irons the laundry, etc. Not every couple can handle this. In fact, even regular roommates, even those who are not in a romantic relationship, have disagreements regarding their housework preferences. To avoid creating conflict situations, it is best to make a list of what needs to be done and mutually decide who will do what. At the same time, do not forget to take into account the desires and skills of everyone. If you have mutually agreed on this issue and agreed that the housewife should come once a month and do the dirtiest work, believe me, this is the right decision, and it is cheaper than a divorce.
Go to bed at the same time
Sometimes this is almost impossible, since some people are incorrigible night owls, while others are early risers. But there will be greater distance and loss of intimacy, which can happen to any couple if they sleep in different rooms and go to bed at different times. People feel like their relationship is starting to crumble when they go to bed and don't experience physical intimacy with their partner. If you cannot sleep with your loved one most of the time, let him know why this is happening and discuss it. Understand this is very important.
