Get naked
Psychologists advise to accustom yourself to the sight of your naked body, so that later you will not be embarrassed by it in bed with a man. You can sleep naked or walk around the house in your underwear (of course, if there is no one else in the apartment except you), without running past the mirror, but periodically stopping in front of it to admire yourself. The main thing is for you to see: your body is beautiful, and in no case should you be ashamed of it.
The main thing is for you to see: your body is beautiful, and in no case should you be ashamed of it.
Present yourself from the best angle
Evaluate yourself realistically. You can stand in front of a mirror naked and objectively understand what your lover will see. Don’t faint from what you see, don’t get upset, but think about what pose you look more attractive in. If your buttocks are embarrassing, show off your breasts first.
And vice versa. In addition, there is always the possibility of leaving some of your clothes on during sex. For example, a light peignoir. Such barely covered nudity looks even sexier than a complete lack of clothing. Don't forget about the opportunity to play with lighting. Let it be muted, on the side you need. With this light you will definitely feel more confident.
Important
Sometimes it turns out that a partner likes exactly those parts of the body that a woman is shy about. In the practice of sexologists, it is not uncommon for a lady to be embarrassed about her buttocks, considering them too large. And her lover just found them very attractive and exciting.
Play some sports
It has long been proven: even if a girl has only gone to the gym a couple of times and her figure has not yet changed at all, she still feels much more attractive than before playing sports. Fitness, treadmill, swimming - all this makes our body beautiful and fit, and also increases self-confidence. By the way, some psychologists advise working out in the gym in short shorts and a T-shirt: the sight of your own imperfect body spurs you to new achievements, and for those who have everything in order with their figure, such a uniform will help you fall in love with yourself even more.
Why am I ashamed of my body
There are different reasons why a person begins to feel self-conscious, but they can all be divided into psychological and physiological reasons. Let's look at each group in detail.
Psychological reasons
- It's all about childhood.
Often the problems of an adult come from his childhood. Among these problems is assessing one’s appearance. The child receives information about himself from his parents, kindergarten teachers, and friends. Everything that a child is told about himself, he perceives as truth. An important point: you can evaluate the baby’s actions and behavior, or you can evaluate the child himself. Compare:
- In this situation, you were wrong, you can’t do that, because it could hurt someone.
- You're stupid for doing this! How many times have I said that ill-mannered children do this? It turns out that you, too, are ill-mannered?
With the first option, the baby will analyze the action and understand what mistake he made.
With the second option, he will only be able to understand that he is worse than other children. Adults are an authority for a child, especially parents. Therefore, such, at first glance, insignificant phrases from adults leave a mark on the child’s psyche. Soon he will become an adult, and childhood traumas will remain with him.
- Social pressure
People have always created standards of beauty for themselves. If during the time of Catherine II curvaceous figures were in fashion, today it is athletic thinness. Previously, there was no pressure on girls to meet these standards, but now there is global propaganda of the ideal of beauty of the 21st century.
Standards are broadcast everywhere, take root in a person’s brain and become a template for him, which he must fit into, otherwise he will be laughed at, rejected and not understood. The fear of loneliness forces girls to go on debilitating diets, while the girls themselves consider their bodies to be the culprit of their difficult lives.
- Projection of other areas of life
For example, a person cannot self-actualize, so he gets nervous, eats stress and gains weight. Over time, the girl will notice that the reflection in the mirror is not at all what it was before, she will again fall into depression and eat away at her problems. And so on in a circle, if the girl does not muster up the determination to get out of it and restore her health.
Physiological reasons
- Problems in sex
If a person has body features that often cannot be changed - for example, scars, birthmarks, moles, being tall or short - this also often leads to a negative perception of one’s appearance, and sometimes to serious difficulties in the form of psychological disorders, for example body dysmorphic disorder .
- Diseases that prevent a person from losing or gaining weight
This puts a lot of pressure on a person because he cannot fix anything.
Take care of your body
Oils, creams and lotions are not just products for moisturizing and nourishing the skin of the body; in fact, they have a much more important mission. A woman who pays attention to self-care every day feels like a real queen, and a queen cannot be reserved in bed with her beloved man - why be shy if she is perfect?
Many girls are embarrassed to be relaxed in bed with their beloved man, considering some actions shameful. This shyness causes not only conflicts, but also separations.
The young man lacks fire, so he looks to the left, looking for a more relaxed girl. Women should have long ago recognized the fact that intimate relationships between loving people play an important role. This should be especially remembered by girls who have a temperamental man.
Such a man should not be associated with an animal who only needs sex; it is not their fault (temperamental men) that their nature has more than endowed them with testosterone. By the way, wasn’t this what initially attracted the girl? Temperamental men have always been at a premium.
Girls should at least admit to themselves that they also really like sex, but all sorts of complexes interfere with enjoying it: a protruding tummy, cellulite on the butt, small breasts, etc. I can go on forever, I’m also a woman. But now, despite all the shortcomings, albeit small, I am open with my husband in bed. I will share my experience on how I came to this.
What will help you stop being shy about your partner?
When intentions become stronger, you need to act immediately. After all, if you miss the moment, you can wait a long time for the next case of emancipation. And the impetus for intentions is usually these things:
1. The desire to please your partner. Perhaps this will change your relationship for the better.
2. The desire to surprise your loved one. He asked for this for a long time, dreamed of taking possession of you during the day, but you did not give up.
3. Women's jealousy is a strong impetus to action. If a girl finds out that her partner is bored doing this in the dark, he wants new sensations, it’s time to think about it. Especially if other women have designs on your chosen one.
It is impossible to say exactly until the last point what exactly moves women’s minds in making such a decision. After all, most people have their own reasons for this. The main thing is to learn to understand the problem and solve it. Therefore, it’s time to move on to ways to combat the fear of making love in the light, because being shy in intimate relationships is the very thing that you should not do in sex under any circumstances.
Method 1: reasons and solution
The fight against complexes is the first step towards solving not only the question of how to stop being shy in bed. This is a whole path to harmony with yourself and others. If excess weight is a problem, then lose weight, go to the gym, pool, etc. Make your body the way you won’t be ashamed to show it off.
If you see flaws in your appearance that you don’t want to show to your partner, then you should start correcting them. For example, many girls are embarrassed that their skin near their anus is too dark. That's no reason to be shy as hell. There are special skin lightening products, as well as salon treatments. The main thing is to identify the cause of your indignation, take control of it and solve it.
Method 2: stop sweating
Concentrating on the fact that during sex your partner will only look at your scar (for example) is the stupidest thing. While you are focused on yourself, you lie like a log (sorry), feeling sorry for yourself or hating. Who benefited from this? If you want to enjoy life, sex and your loved one, then forget about the scar (or whatever else you have in your baggage for personal complexes).
If you can’t forget, then take action. Make it less noticeable by resorting to cosmetology or surgery. You can get a beautiful tattoo that will hide traces of scars. In any case, when you do something, you will definitely feel confident and relaxed.
Method 3: destroy illusions
Stopping the illusion of having sex in the dark will make things much easier for you and your partner. It's better to see once than to touch 100 times. You must accept your body as it is. The partner’s body also needs to be seen and loved, and not imagined in the dark what’s there and how.
If you step over your fear once, you will most likely experience many good sensations in the future (in terms of orgasm). After all, eye contact is sometimes more arousing than physical contact. So imagine what you are depriving yourself and your lover. New horizons for experimentation in bed will open up before you. By destroying your fears, you will find happiness.
Method 4: the right girl changed her mind
Nobody calls for you to turn from a well-bred girl into a slutty girl. The essence of solving the problem of fear of having sex in the light is to learn to enjoy it. After all, giving pleasure to your partner and receiving pleasure yourself is the key to a strong relationship. The fine line that many women are afraid to cross is not so dangerous.
Stop talking about sex as something bad and vulgar. Making love is a divine gift that makes people happy. Moreover, in two directions at once: in terms of carnal pleasures and the gift of new life. Feel free to show your partner the tenderness and beauty of your body and, in turn, see your beloved in all the details. Think how much you lose in the dark!
Method 5: There is no such thing as ugly pleasure
Girls always try to look perfect in front of their chosen ones. This is especially true for “fresh” couples who do not yet know each other in everyday life. After all, they come to dates looking perfect, but they still don’t know what they really look like in front of each other (tired, sleepy, etc.). So the prospect of having sex in the light frightens the girl. “What if a guy sees a plump fold on his belly? What if the makeup gets ruined? Oh, no, we’d rather have sex in the dark.” And so many young ladies think so.
Calm down, because there is no ideal. Do you think you have to look perfect during the process? Actually, no, because it’s like a whirlwind. Is it really possible to control the raging elements? Even if a young man sees your crease, or your damaged makeup, he will say: “Ugh, dear, come on, go and straighten your wings quickly!” Pull your stomach in and don’t relax.” Can you imagine such a circus?!
In fact, the man is so passionate about the process that he simply has no time to pay attention to “imaginary” shortcomings. The very opportunity to do what you want, namely have sex with you, will greatly excite and delight. You will be surprised how nice it is when your partner sees you and you see him during the whole process. And besides, having stopped being shy in bed, you can move on to even more interesting types of intimacy, for example, try having sex in the bathroom. Cast aside fears, enjoy every moment and millimeter of your body. Be happy and have a wonderful experience!
Ekaterina Sergeevna specially for © Ty-koroleva.ru
