How does disappointment manifest itself?
An ideal family life is the desire of every couple. He is a provider and a strong shoulder. She is a gentle and caring wife. Unfortunately, this is a utopia that is favorably presented by the film industry. In reality, things are different for 9 out of 10 couples.
The inconsistency of relationships with imaginary ideals gives rise to a feeling of disappointment in women. Why them? Because the weaker sex is more inclined to dream, succumb to emotional impulses, emotions, dissolve in a loved one and believe in various fantasies. When dreams collide with harsh reality, where the latter wins, a worm of sorrow begins to gnaw at the soul.
Disappointment is a mixture of many feelings: disappointment, sadness, apathy, despair, stress. Every woman has encountered this phenomenon at least once in her life. Only those who have not built relationships are not disappointed in men, and there are only a few of them.
Unjustified expectations give rise to a feeling of dissatisfaction with the result obtained in a given situation. As family life progresses, such cases become more and more common. Accumulated disappointment pushes a woman either to divorce or to endless nagging at her husband.
What does this unpleasant feeling look like in life? During the candy-bouquet period, the girl believes that she has found the ideal partner. Before the wedding, the young lady believes that she has found a strong male shoulder, support, the best lover and an attentive husband.
Time passes, and the guy reveals himself to her from a completely different side. He does not take responsibility for solving everyday problems, does not want to develop, and is lazy. In the evenings he prefers to spend time with friends playing billiards or in a bar. Forgets to give flowers for the holidays. In everyday life he appears as an unkempt and weak-willed loser. Often his opinion on important issues contradicts his wife’s views. It can take from 6 months to 5 years before a woman is completely disappointed in her life partner and realizes that love has passed.
Love and disappointment are opposed to each other here. Where there is room for one, there will be no second. It’s worth taking a close look at your partner at the very beginning so that the relationship doesn’t end sadly after a few years.
Psychologists say that disappointment visits all married women, but to varying degrees. One's husband begins to pawn his collar, while another's husband simply buys flowers of the wrong kind. You can come to terms with the latter, but the former makes the lady worry about the future and be in constant tension. A long stay in this state is fraught with neurosis, stress, and somatic diseases.
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The fewer illusions and hopes a lady places on her husband, the less likely she is to be disappointed in him.
Reasons for what is happening
Frustration does not come at lightning speed. This is a time bomb that can be compared to the famous game Jenga. The man gradually pulls out the sticks of illusion from his companion’s dreams, and instead places bricks of reality on top of them. As a result, the turret cannot stand it and collapses. At such moments, the girl realizes that she made a mistake in choosing her soulmate.
Betrayal
It is difficult to forgive a traitor, and sometimes even impossible. After such an act on the part of her husband, the woman is consumed by a mixture of resentment, hatred, shame and jealousy. Trust and warmth instantly leave the relationship. It is very rarely possible to restore former feelings and harmony.
Betrayal is not always treason. A man can run away after the birth of a child or exchange life with his wife for a lucrative job abroad. Half of the cases are due to the fault of the women themselves, the second half lies on the conscience of weak-willed guys.
Failure to keep promises
You can be amazed at the patience of some girls for a long time, but there is a limit to everything. It’s not for nothing that they say that women love with their ears. They are especially ready to love those who promise stars from the sky. But this love will not last long, since the statement “A man said, a man did” is firmly entrenched in the female brain.
When this happens regularly in family life, it becomes annoying, especially if the promises concern trivial things like fixing a faucet or assembling a cabinet. As a result, the young lady will either give up and do everything herself, or be offended by her unlucky hubby.
Idle talk is a sign of immaturity and irresponsibility. If a man fails to fulfill his promise, he will apologize and offer a replacement. Every unfulfilled promise leaves a bitter aftertaste in the girl’s soul, fertilizing the seedlings of disappointment.
Inattention
Routine quickly destroys romance and airy dreams. If the partner does not even try to keep the fire of the family hearth going, then frustration will not be long in coming. Men naively believe that this responsibility is exclusively a woman’s business. But without support, care and participation from the stronger sex, not a single lady can cope with this.
The husband becomes callous and is not interested in the affairs and well-being of his wife. He is not interested in conversations with her at dinner, her ideas and views on the world. In addition, women do not like to repeat something ten times, for example, the name of their favorite movie or drink. When your spouse mixes everything up for the fifth time, your soul becomes irritated.
Inattention manifests itself when a man leaves a girl alone in a difficult situation. He may explain this by sclerosis, busyness or ignorance. Everything will ultimately give the same result.
Unjustified expectations
The husband’s inability to cope with obstacles of any nature immediately reduces his importance in the eyes of his wife. Women's nature is such that any wife wants to see a strong, reliable, firmly standing and confident life partner nearby, and not an infantile creature who succumbs to difficulties. The girl will be even more disappointed by the fact that in words the man was ready to move mountains, but in reality turned out to be pathetic and cowardly.
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Assault
Domestic violence always ends badly. There can be no talk of healthy relationships after the first precedent. A man who raises his hand against a woman falls not only in her eyes, but also in the eyes of others. Only an insecure loser, a tyrant or a mentally ill person can allow this.
How to understand what he wants?
It’s not difficult to understand what a person wants; it’s enough to at least ask him about it. But something can be understood from his behavior. Observe how a man behaves in a company, how many friends he has of the opposite sex and how they communicate with him. If a man has many girlfriends and most of them shoot their eyes predatorily in his direction or every now and then try to hug him, this is a sign that the man has not yet had his fill. He likes universal female attention, which, by the way, probably often manifests itself in more explicit “forms”. If a man systematically and systematically looks after you, regularly gives you flowers and takes you to a restaurant strictly 2 times a week (relatively speaking), perhaps he has serious plans for you. One way or another, we urge you not to guess at the tea leaves, but to ask around directly, it won’t be superfluous!
What should women do?
The state of frustration significantly spoils the quality of life. The woman becomes irritable and constantly worries about the future of the relationship. In addition, appearance suffers, self-esteem decreases, and complaints of poor sleep appear.
You can deal with the problem yourself using fairly simple methods. But psychologists warn that disappointment will return in 90% of cases. It is impossible to completely eradicate it. Only a few couples manage to overcome the crisis stage and maintain their relationship.\
Finding compromises
Negative emotions are a consequence of a conflict of interests. This confrontation acts as a catalyst for disappointment. In order not to start a destructive chain, you will have to learn to give in to both sides. A woman, being a more patient and gentle partner, should convey this idea to her husband.
Heart to heart conversations
It is worth making it a rule to discuss any unclear or difficult issue with each other. Most relationship problems can be solved with words. In addition, a warm conversation over an evening dinner will increase the level of trust and, perhaps, allow lovers to look at each other differently.
Thinking through the problem
Breaking is not building! This is how the famous expression goes. Filing for divorce is a matter of one day, but for some reason many couples do not want to approach the difficulties that have arisen meaningfully. Before cutting headlong, a girl should calm down, analyze the cause of disappointment, look for cause-and-effect relationships, and ask loved ones for advice. It probably won't be that bad.
Retain the right to your opinion
A woman should not meekly indulge all her husband’s whims and weaknesses. It is worth maintaining strength of character even in a difficult situation. The man will understand that his wife has an inner core, and will begin to behave more respectfully towards her.
A representative of the stronger sex should achieve and run. This way you will be able to teach your spouse a little lesson and at the same time preserve your individuality.
If a wife is disappointed in her husband, both are to blame. The psychology of people is such that they tend to hide their shortcomings, creating an illusory image of an ideal life partner. To prevent this from happening, you should not rush to get married and build castles in the air in relation to your partner. It is better to watch his actions rather than his words. Only if one matches the other does it make sense to tie the knot.
Disappointed in the relationship
Hello, Alena! let's look at what's going on:
Already at this age I was disappointed in relationships. Now I can’t even understand why marriage is needed. Nowadays, all men cheat
Even in psychology books it is written that men are polygamous.
Have you had any EXPERIENCE other than disappointment? From every situation, from every relationship, it is important to take something away for yourself - to understand - how did YOU lead to this situation? what did they do or did NOT do? after all, building your life is YOURS - and looking for and seeing reasons only outside, in those around you, in men - only means removing responsibility from yourself! but only YOU make the decision and only YOU bear the consequences of both your actions and inactions! and if you arm yourself only with frameworks and limiting beliefs - they write in books, they change everything - THEN then everything will definitely be exactly like this!
and YOU DID NOT read why men can cheat? because something leads to this too! cheating is an indicator that in the relationship (in communications) between partners, something is going WRONG and you need to pay attention to this - which means you need to change the relationship - and NOT just blame the man for cheating! it also depends on the maturity and responsibility of the person himself - BUT this can be seen - in the words, in the actions of a person - but do you see? can you see the original real person? Can you work on relationships yourself?
I forgave the betrayal, I don’t know why. But after that I became terribly jealous and suspicious. All I hear from friends is that everyone cheats on their significant other
Naturally, if the relationship remains as it was, then the likelihood of another betrayal is again maximum! After all, you remained with your partner in a previous relationship, which already led to betrayal! what motivated them? What unsatisfied need? or personal immaturity? Then what prevents YOU from making a choice?
and you hear WHAT you want to hear, without taking other situations into account!
The fact that a man cheated on YOU, that your friends say that THEY are cheated on, does NOT mean that ALL men are cheaters! and where then is the responsibility of women themselves? why are they silent? tolerate? are waiting? to make him guilty?
Now I see a deceiver in every man.
I am afraid that jealousy and mistrust will destroy any relationship that I would like to build. If you see a Deceiver, then you are already building a relationship with him on the premise that you DO NOT trust him, and how can HE debunk YOUR beliefs? and how will a man feel next to YOU? and will your distrust NOT contribute to the fact that the next man will simply cheat too - since he will feel guilty, not being able to prove anything to you, with his feelings devalued!
those. the source is NOT IN MEN, but IN what YOU feel - and men are an object! and then is it the case with men??? or is it still in YOU - you DO NOT accept men, because you DO NOT accept yourself, your feelings - projecting them onto them, blaming them, shifting your responsibility onto them!
By the way, what happened in your parents’ relationship?
Alena, if you really decide to figure out what’s going on, feel free to contact me - call me - I’ll be glad to help you!
I was disappointed in myself and in people.
What should I do? Good answer0 Bad answer3
