Any relationship has its own stages of development, when the “candy-bouquet” period ends, the couple either breaks up or legitimizes their relationship. The life of a man and a woman after registration of marriage undergoes changes, however, in order for them to be positive, it is necessary to make a lot of efforts by each of the partners.
A marriage begins to break down if, after the wedding, one or both partners believe that they are forever “tied” to their soulmate. The feeling of selfishness destroys family ties, therefore, in order to save the family, a man and a woman must follow certain recommendations prepared by psychologists. The list can be supplemented and modified, according to traditions and relationships within the family:
For woman:
1. You should not criticize your colleagues, your husband’s salary or work. A man should have freedom in work relationships. 2. A woman is obliged to make the house cozy and interesting. 3. In order for comfort to reign in the house, the spouse is obliged to prepare dinner and add variety to the family menu. 4. In order for a man to strive to replenish the family budget, his chosen one must understand the basics of her husband’s work activity. 5. You should not criticize your husband for failures and compare him with more successful representatives of the stronger half of humanity. 6. To maintain harmony in the family, the wife must have a friendly relationship with her mother-in-law. 7. Before purchasing clothes, a woman should ask about what a man likes to see on his partner. 8. In order to spend more time together, you need to be interested in a man’s hobbies and hobbies. 9. Despite the fact that the man has accepted marriage obligations, the woman is obliged to take care of her appearance and be physically attractive. 10. Every woman should be able to make concessions during a conflict, without considering herself humiliated or insulted.
Read online “Advice for a young wife”
Exler Alex
Exler Alex
Advice for a young wife
Alex Axler
Advice for a young wife
(from the series “Advice for Newlyweds”)
Unfortunately, any honeymoon tends to end. For some this happens after a couple of days, for others after a week, and for some couples it lasts almost a whole month. Keep these memories carefully, because this is unlikely to happen again in life. At least with this person.
Of course, it’s sweet to remember how you and he were relaxing on the shore of the gentle sea, burying each other in the sand, sometimes digging it back out, running along the beach, knocking down people they met like skittles, helpfully going to each other for ice cream in the terrible heat, touchingly bringing a wooden popsicle stick, leaving melted ice cream on the backs of other vacationers, and in the evenings you sat by the sea, enjoying the sunset, and his head lay touchingly on your shoulder, spreading such a sweet smell of beer.
Or this exhilarating jeep safari in Africa. A lot of new impressions and thrills, the hard squinting of your loved one’s eyes at the moment when he points the gun at the guide. The night wind, creating a “Two minutes under the mower” hairstyle on your head and such a gentle voice of a newly acquired husband: “Darling, aren’t you cold? No? Then can I take your blouse, otherwise after the beer it’s a bit of a headache?”
Of course, not everyone is able to spend their honeymoon on exotic trips. Some even manage to pass the exam during their honeymoon. But even in this case, tenderness and consideration towards each other are necessarily shown:
- Expensive! Have you already copied all one hundred and eighty-five lectures on calculus for me?
- Yes darling. But why “mathematical”? I thought you were in medical school.
- Darling! Where are my lectures on deterministic stochastic systems? Haven't you seen them?
- Of course I saw it, darling! There they are lying on the table and smell quite disgusting.
Do you remember? How romantic and touching it all is! Of course, the post-honeymoon effect is also observed during the beginning of normal family life. Such streams of tenderness and consideration, which gradually tend to zero, and often go into minus values. And this is where it begins...
It turns out that your young husband is not at all eager to serve you coffee in bed every day. Moreover, he completely impudently and unequivocally demands a ready-made breakfast by the time His Majesty deigns to open his eyes and smoke a couple of cigarettes in the toilet, enjoying the Moskovsky Komsomolets newspaper.
It’s not easy for any newly-made wife when stereotypes collapse. Who could have known that this guy doesn’t love scrambled eggs every day as much as he did in the first month of marriage? Who would have thought that this scoundrel was capable of tearing off the blanket from you and, with a distorted face, demanding breakfast in the form of potatoes and a cutlet? And this is at a time when you can still sleep peacefully for a couple of hours! Unfortunately, disappointments are inevitable, and you need to prepare for them in advance. It is best to immediately discard the idea of immediately divorcing this guy, because the other one, I assure you, will not be any better. The same gasps, sighs, kisses and walks in close embraces before the wedding, the same warning tenderness and nonsense during the honeymoon and the same disappointments during the beginning of ordinary family life.
And what, you ask, should we do about this? Adapt and mimic. There are several options for behavior that largely depend on your character, dear newlywed, and to a much lesser extent depend on the character of your chosen one.
Option one
Completely submit to the will of your husband and become his slave in every sense of the word.
. This option has its pros and cons. The advantage is that you refuse to show any initiative and shift the solution to all problems onto your husband. So that he can never say: “You see, what nonsense you advised me!” Plus, you won't have to strain to carry on a conversation with him. It is enough to say the following phrases at certain intervals:
1) Yes, honey.
2) As you say, dear.
3) You’re great for me.
4) What a scoundrel this boss of yours is.
5) You have every right to be angry, I won’t do that again.
That's probably all. The downside to this option is that there can be no talk of any love in future family life. Because they don't like slaves. They are treated as property. But your husband will never leave you, because he will get used to complete obedience and will not be able to live with any other woman.
Option two
Completely subjugate your husband and make him henpecked. This is quite easy to do. Regardless of the husband's character. This process can be carried out quickly enough, in a couple of months, but this risks causing the husband to become a neurasthenic. And a henpecked man, and even with neurasthenia, is a completely sad sight. So I recommend that this process be carried out over the course of a year, so that the husband has time to get used to his subordinate position and so that it does not weigh heavily on him.
You need to gradually subjugate it to your will, do it systematically and methodically, day after day.
First, stop asking what he would like for breakfast (lunch or dinner.) It’s none of his business. Let him get used to eating what they give him.
Then gradually start giving him all sorts of tasks around the house and achieve quick and high-quality performance...
For a man:
1. In order not to upset his spouse, a man should write down or remember all the key dates that have anything to do with the family. 2. A man should not criticize or educate his wife in the presence of strangers or relatives. 3. In order for mutual understanding to reign in the house, the spouse should try to spend half of his free time with his family. 4. You should forget about any comparisons of your spouse, be they related to her culinary abilities or appearance. 5. A man should show interest not only in his wife’s household duties, but also in her personal hobbies. 6. There should be no jealousy in the family without good reason. 7. In order for a woman to be happy, she must be praised daily for any work that is done for the benefit of the family. 8. A woman, like a man, needs gratitude. We should not forget that a woman’s daily work is the same work that must be paid. 9. A man should be more tolerant of female weakness while shopping. 10. A woman especially needs support in moments of fatigue and stressful situations.
The eleventh rule applies to both men and women. In a marriage, you should not fall asleep or go to bed separately if there is a conflict between the spouses until the relationship is improved. To save a family, you need to sincerely and unselfishly love each other with body and soul.
Council of Young Families of the Ivanovskoye District
22 Feb 2020 | Author: sahi100
Dog lesson is sweeping the country! The famous dogs Find and Lila with their owner Nika Mogilevskaya will come to our Council in Ivanovskoye again! Many saw them on May 9, 2020 on the “Dogs in the Second World War” program. They follow a lot of commands! (THE REPORT CAN BE VIEWED IN THE VK COUNCIL GROUP) You can again play with them, train them, lie down, sit with them on the floor. And also feed them, pet them, etc. For those whose children dream of having a dog, this is an ideal opportunity to communicate with animals. Find, winner of the 2017 Therapy Dog of the Year competition, and the other Lilu the Rescue, looking for people in the forest if they need help. A wonderful owner of dogs, Olga Mogilevskaya, works as a zoopsychologist and dog handler. She adopted one therapy dog from a shelter at the age of 4 years, and picked up another, a seeker dog, from the street at 6 months. With her lessons, Olga dispels the myth that for special tasks dogs need to be purebred. Any mongrel is perfectly trainable. Nika works at. They opened the first free sterilization center for animals in Moscow. He'll talk about it.
We are waiting for you on March 2, Saturday at 13:00 adoes Polymernaya 7 building 2 library No. 95. Metro: Perovo, Novogireevo Phone: +7 495 301‑35-14, +7 495 303‑11-39 The event is free, write to me, Irina Veretennikova, in a personal message on WhatsApp, or by email. I need to know the exact number of participants! I am waiting!
A little about Nick and the dogs https://ecozoo.ru/dogurok-shagaet-po-strane/
FREE ANIMAL STERILIZATION POINT, FIRST IN MOSCOW!!! The first free sterilization center for outbred animals opened in Moscow on January 18. This is a unique project that is being implemented by the public organization for helping homeless animals “Human Ecology” with the support of the Moscow Public Relations Committee.
There are currently 13 city shelters for stray animals in Moscow, housing about 16 thousand dogs and over 700 cats. And the number of stray animals is increasing from year to year. Hundreds of unclaimed kittens and puppies are born every week in the capital alone. Some of them will end up on the street due to the irresponsibility of their owners, and will also continue to bear offspring. This means the population of stray animals will grow.
According to statistics, in 7 years one dog and its offspring are capable of producing over 67,000 puppies. During the same time, one cat can give birth to 420,000 kittens. Sterilization is the only humane method of regulating the number of animals in a metropolis, as well as an integral part of the owner’s manifestation of care and responsibility for his pet and his offspring. However, in Moscow veterinary clinics the prices for such operations are high. For some owners of outbred animals, these amounts often become unaffordable.
Therefore, the demand for preferential and free operations is high. The sterilization point will solve several social problems at once. Owners of outbred animals will be able to sterilize their pet. As a result, fewer animals will end up on the streets of the capital and will not die from cold, cruelty or other causes. The free sterilization point is only one part of a large-scale Project of animal defenders of the capital. “Human Ecology” also carries out large-scale educational work. The program includes educational lectures in libraries, schools, cultural and volunteer centers in Moscow, aimed at promoting humane treatment of animals, including through their sterilization. “We are open to cooperation,” emphasizes Tatyana Koroleva, chairman of the organization, “and we invite all interested parties, private and legal, to cooperate. Our goal is to educate the maximum number of residents of the metropolis on issues of caring for animals.”
Phone number of the sterilization point for appointments and consultations – 8 (495) 664-41-62 About the public organization for helping homeless animals “Human Ecology”. Our organization has already established itself as an active participant in the public life of the city. In Moscow schools we conduct Dog Lessons and Dog Quests using a unique educational methodology, and also publish a free cultural and educational newspaper “Shaggy Angel”, which is distributed in libraries, schools and volunteer centers of the city.
You can also get acquainted with our activities in more detail on the website of our organization https://ecozoo.ru/ Contacts Ekaterina Ulyanova, press secretary + Tatyana Koroleva, chairman of the organization +7
Current problems of a young family
Numerous problems faced by young spouses during the formation of a family have led to the separation of a young family from other types of family unions into a separate group. In addition, a young family is distinguished by a number of psychological characteristics that are not found in subsequent stages (stages) of family life. Therefore, it makes sense to dwell on the characteristics of a young family in more detail.
What kind of family is called young?
In the dictionary on family education, a young family is a married couple with or without children, with a family life of up to five years and the age of the spouses not older than 30 years. Newly married couples face many problems. They need to establish an optimal balance of closeness/distance, solve the problem of family hierarchy and areas of responsibility. They may suddenly realize that they are very different and become afraid of these differences. For the first time, they may be faced with the question: “If we are so different, then what are we doing together?” They may begin to struggle with differences or will try to simply ignore them.
Problems of a young family
Very often, at the beginning of their life together, newlyweds avoid contradictions and criticism of each other, because they want to maintain a friendly atmosphere in the family and not hurt the feelings of the other. But if these contradictions do exist, the desire of the spouses to hide them or not notice them after some time leads to the fact that the contradictions grow, and the spouses begin to become increasingly easily and strongly irritated. Another way to overcome disagreements is through power struggle. Spouses may try to openly subjugate their partner or manipulate him with the help of weakness and illness.
Another important point in the problem of a young family during this period is the establishment of family boundaries. The young couple must establish a territory relatively independent of parental influence, and parents in turn need to change the way they interact with their children after they have started their own families. In cases of conflict with their families of origin, spouses may develop symptomatic behavior. For example, a wife whose husband cannot prevent his mother from interfering with the young family may develop symptoms as a way of coping with the situation.
Overcoming problems in a young family
Some couples try to protect their independence by completely cutting themselves off from interaction with their parents. Usually such attempts do not end in success and work to destroy the marriage, since the art of living in marriage involves achieving independence in combination with maintaining emotional ties with relatives. Very young marriages are characterized not only by the initial entry into the social roles of husband and wife, etc.
This period of married life is the most difficult and dangerous from the point of view of family stability. A young couple may experience strain on the family budget associated with the birth and raising of children, a sharp reduction in time and limited opportunities for organizing recreation and leisure, and an increase in physical and nervous fatigue. The problems of professional advancement and achieving social status are becoming more acute. All this affects the love and friendship of the spouses.
August 15, 2020 at 11:37 am
Valentina Tseluiko
