Women's tricks in communicating with men: what to talk about with your husband, psychology?

"I couldn't speak"

There is no need to check your phone every minute for fear of missing a call from your boyfriend.
On the contrary, you should play a little with a man and not pick up the phone for a couple of hours. However, it is absolutely important to follow the rules of this “game” and, after a long pause, call back yourself so that the gentleman is not offended that you are ignoring him. In the conversation, voice a good reason why you didn’t pick up the phone. For example: “I didn’t hear the bell because I was in the pool,” or: “I was at training”... The mechanics of this psychological technique are simple. A man who couldn’t reach you begins to worry about you and, thus, an emotional attachment begins.

“He's worried. He thinks more and more about you. So he would have called you, talked to you, found out everything for himself and switched to his own affairs. But the conversation did not take place, and the man cannot let go of the situation and do his work. He is worried about the woman he likes. Plus there is throwing: “Where is she? Why is she silent? Maybe she’s with someone”... There is an emotional attachment, and the man swallows the “hook” more strongly,” states the psychologist.

At the same time, Elena Kuznetsova warns that this technique is good only in the first stages of building relationships, and should not be abused. A man will simply start asking you what time he can call you, since you are so busy, and the intrigue will disappear. In addition, if a girl suddenly does not pick up the phone at the designated time, this may have a bad effect on the further development of the relationship.

Women's cunning or manipulation, or maybe wisdom?

Last time we touched on an interesting topic. We talked about the best feminine qualities that help in family life and automatically develop his best qualities in a husband.

And one of the important qualities, as we have already said, is skill. And we can say that the wife, showing skill in relationships, uses her feminine tricks. But are they so harmless?

An interesting example from life that shows how a wife can show feminine tricks and skill in relationships.

The daughter's friends broke her bed while her parents were not at home. Dad was very indignant at this act and decided to punish his daughter so that she would be more careful next time, declaring that she would not repair the bed.

The wife says that in this case she will give up her bed to her daughter and go to sleep on the floor. She refuses her husband’s entreaties to lie down on his bed. At the same time, no reproaches or quarrels. She agrees with her husband's decision, but shows how uncomfortable it is overall.

It is unlikely that a husband will tolerate his beloved woman suffering like this, because the floor is cold, God forbid she catches a cold. And he will go to repair the bed, and after that they will jointly come up with an educational measure for their daughter so that she does not allow this to happen in the house in their absence. The wife will offer several options, and they will find the right solution.

So what is it? Women's tricks or husband manipulation?

You can say it's like manipulating men. On the one hand, this is true, because a woman consciously influences her husband in order to achieve a certain goal. Silence, withdrawal, and tears can be used.

But these are much better ways to reach a man’s selfish nature than screams, hysterics and reproaches. Yes, it looks like a trick, but such a trick is justified.

And the fact that we took the adjective “selfish” is nothing seditious. Because this is a small feature of the male psyche; it, unlike the female psyche, is more resistant to stress.

While a woman lives by feelings, a man is characterized by impartiality. But women's emotional outbursts can make a man inadequate. This can lead to the problem of violence. Don’t awaken the beast in a man!

You can, of course, simply explain to your man how it should be. But there is a danger here that in this way the wife begins to lecture her husband, which shows her superiority.

Yes, she knows more about psychology, but this is not a reason to demonstrate her intelligence, thereby making her husband a junior, which contradicts the correct distribution of roles in the family. Therefore, on the contrary, the wife’s task is to unobtrusively offer a way out of difficult situations, suggesting, but not demanding.

From here follows another best quality as a consequence of a woman’s skill in relationships— feminine wisdom .

A woman should be wise enough to:

do not suppress his strong qualities in a man, pointing out his inadequacy
do not turn into a man yourself, taking on male responsibilities in the family
do not demonstrate a masculine character, which can manifest itself in rigidity and authority.

The difference between feminine cunning, manipulation and wisdom

The edge of female cunning as a means of manipulation and wisdom is obvious. But it is extremely important not to cross it. And it lies in this:

Wisdom is in the purity of a woman’s thoughts, and cunning is in deception.
In the first case, a woman does this to please herself, without caring at all about others.
In the second case, she acts at the behest of her conscience in order to optimally solve a psychological problem in the family.
In the first case, a woman can be driven by greed when, for example, she begs for money for trinkets or is capricious in order to improve her position at the expense of worsening the position of her partner.
In the second case, internal purity is maintained in her requests and some feminine techniques, albeit tricks, because she primarily does this for the common good, and not her own.

A woman's tears can humble her husband

Thus, women's tricks , if they are environmentally friendly, and their main principle is not personal gain, but the best intentions , they are justified and acquire the status of women's worldly wisdom . And what will happen if you don’t use this, see women’s revelations.

Lyudmila Ponomarenko

SMS or Internet correspondence should not take too much time

If your relationship is just beginning, and only one or two dates have passed, you don’t need to hang out on your phone all day. SMS or Internet communication should be brief so as not to offend the interlocutor by “ignoring” it, but not drag on for two or three hours, otherwise you risk boring the man. Remember the fairy tales of Scheherazade: intrigue, and then tactfully end the dialogue so that the man is eager to continue communication, and in person.

In this case, Kuznetsova advises adapting to your partner and feeling him out. If a boyfriend asks about something, “introduces” the topic, just react - a woman should never pull the blanket over herself. If a lady has questions for a man, they need to be voiced, but be correct and in moderation. If your chosen one likes to chat, there is no need to cut him off mid-sentence with the message: “I’m off, I need to take some pies to grandma.” With your neglect you will simply offend your gentleman.

But obvious signs that you need to quickly end the conversation can be the following: the man begins to answer dryly, or does not answer anything at all, but only sends emoticons. That is, there are no more words left, the interlocutor is on his last legs. It is better not to bring him to such a state and say goodbye as soon as the topics discussed have exhausted themselves.

“Long correspondence can negate the desire to meet a girl in person - if she is so tiring, even without being there, then what will happen on a date?” - says the psychologist.

How to learn to communicate with men - women's secrets

Women in all centuries have been a mystery to men, and it is not without reason that they say that men’s logic is shattered to smithereens by women’s intuition.

Therefore, we will consider how to find a common language with the stronger sex and learn to communicate. In the end, you somehow need to understand these creatures - men, what they are interested in, what they need, and what to talk to them about.

Let's understand, first, the psychology of men. Men, first of all, are males, which means it is vital for them to feel like a leader in everything, from ordinary family life to his little hobbies.

But, as we know, not a single great leader achieved anything significant in history without support, a team, or a party. Therefore, first of all, it is necessary to support him, within reasonable limits, of course.

Of course, you can’t do everything for a man, but men begin many things only when they receive the approval of their other half. Therefore, in order to communicate correctly with men, even if you are just an acquaintance, support the man by saying that his idea is simply ideal and he will definitely be able to achieve another victory.

The second aspect of all men is big children. Children just grow and toys grow with them. Cars turn into cars, soldiers into subordinates, and a photo from a poster on the wall comes to life and turns into a girl.

This means that there are several options for proper communication: you can discuss with a man his next toy, at least emphasize the beauty with the look of an amateur, and if you remember some features, you can drag the man into the conversation for a long time.

Or you can find yourself in the company of a man’s favorite toys, and he will talk to you constantly, expressing all his thoughts and emotions, but what can you do - children are children.

There are many more different options on how to communicate with men correctly, but what is listed above is the basics. And therefore, everyone can find out how to learn to communicate with a man. You just need to be attentive and take a closer look at the behavior of the men around you, and all the answers will immediately become clear and visible, and then it’s up to you.

Women's tricks in communicating with men

It is no secret to many that men and women think (and, accordingly, express their thoughts) a little differently. What is this difference, and how can you learn to communicate with men so that they always understand you?

Avoid veiled hints. Honestly, men rarely understand them and often very distorted. In addition, many men are often offended by hints - because, in the male understanding, nobility and honor lie in expressing everything directly, and not indirectly. If you want a fur coat as a gift, just say: “I was in such and such a store, there I looked at such an awesome fur coat, it costs so much - if you want to please me on my birthday, then this would be a super gift! But if you have other ideas or if it causes irreparable harm to your wallet, that’s okay, I won’t be offended!” A man will understand you and respect you for your directness. This is much better than sighing languidly while talking about what fur coat your colleague came in or how you went to a fur store with a friend.
Learn to formulate statements (especially statements of claims) directly and verbatim. Not “here I see you again at the computer...”, but “all the dishes are there after lunch, could you wash them?” It is unlikely that a man will enjoy constantly deciphering what the true motive of your dissatisfaction is.
Avoid generalizations. Like “you ALWAYS do everything wrong!”, “you are NEVER on time!”, “you, like ALL men, are a quitter” or “ALL men are not quitters, but you...”, etc. Instead - “Next time, don’t scrub the Teflon frying pan with a wire brush,” “You’re late today, and I’m so cold standing here!”, etc.
Don’t use the argument “I’m a woman” as an excuse for yourself and “You’re a man” as a motivation for a man! In general, forget about these phrases! There are many other objective factors why you want or don’t want to do something, why you ask a man for something, etc. For example: “I like to look good, so I bought a new cream”, “It’s hard for me to lift this bag - and you are strong, help me!”, etc. Otherwise, the argument of gender as such will sound offensive to a man - they say, “I was born a woman, and therefore I can do more, but you are a man, and therefore you must, and be patient!”
Don't be afraid to admit that you don't know or can't do something. A modest girl who sincerely admits her ignorance and asks her to tell her what and how looks much better in a man’s eyes than an arrogant person who, on the fly, starts feminine tricks with a man and talks nonsense - just to pretend that she knows everything and can. In general, men adore the role of a smart, strong mentor for a cute “dunno” - take advantage of it!

As you can see, the main trick in a relationship with a man is not to be cunning! Guys value sincerity much more than feigned “niceness” and excessive coquetry.

How to communicate correctly with the man you love

From the moment a man and woman begin to build a relationship, they strive to create an eternal union. It's no secret that a woman plays a leading role in building a strong and friendly family.

There is more than one secret to harmony.

1) Already at the first stage of communication, you should behave correctly and tactfully. Show the man that you are listening to him and you are very interested in what he says.

Confirm his words more often so that he understands that you are really interested in him, and you consider him a very smart man. Try to talk about yourself, very little, because men have always appreciated mystery in a woman.

2) If you still don’t have enough experience and you don’t know how to communicate with men correctly, then let him decide some organizational issues himself.

Let him feel like a necessary and important person for you. Try to spend more time with him, but if you see that he wants to go out with friends, then under no circumstances make a scandal. Let him think that you are walking on a short leash.

3) Don’t forget that working together only brings you closer together. Don't be shy to ask him for help. This will be good for you, and he will feel like a strong and reliable man.

4) Of course, quarrels cannot be avoided. But that's not bad either. The saying that darlings scold only for fun was not invented by us. If you suddenly don’t share something and a conflict occurs, learn to resolve it without major scandals. This does not mean that you should turn a blind eye to his mistakes, but you should not overdo it. It is better to show by your appearance that you are offended. Let him think about his behavior.

5) In addition, you should prepare not only for positive and negative moments in your life, but also for gray everyday life. Everyday life “eats up” feelings, so try to add variety to your relationships more often

6) Under no circumstances forbid your man to get involved in something. You shouldn’t forget about yourself either. Remember that everyone should have their own personal space. It is not necessary to spend every day together from morning to night; it is much more correct to communicate with men in doses.

Sometimes you can also travel separately, so that upon arrival you can surprise your man with your knowledge. In addition, every woman should have her own money, so you shouldn’t leave work.

Even if your man really asks you about it or, even worse, orders you. At work you get development and personal money, so if you have a quarrel, no one will blame you for sitting on your neck.

If you show all the feminine wisdom, then love will always live in your hearts.

How to communicate with a man on the Internet

If you communicate online, it is useful to express yourself as clearly as possible on your page, give detailed examples, and not speak in general terms. If the statements are vague, it won't necessarily broaden your audience; Often, due to uncertainty, men have fantasies about you, and then collapse.

To communicate correctly with men on the Internet, do not reveal all your secrets, there should always be some kind of mystery, understatement, but remember the aphorism of the advertising world: if you try to be everything to everyone, you will end up being nothing and no one.

When talking about yourself, choose several areas. For example, if you say, “I like to read,” what do you mean: glossy magazines, historical novels, or computer magazines? Please provide several titles.

Take communication seriously. If you say, “I’m as comfortable in jeans as I am in a ballgown,” find out if you’re a fashion magazine editor who gets out into the countryside once a year, or an ardent hiker who has a fancy dress costume for the unlikely event that she’s invited to a party. Barmitzvah.

If you are chatting with a young man at a party, also do not be lazy to give similar examples. Speak and write not only accurately, but also honestly, your words must be confirmed if the relationship develops. Simple details will bring great benefits: you are not expected to do anything extravagant and you do not waste time on random guys.

How to talk to men about children

You've probably heard the old joke about how to get rid of a bachelor. How? Just tell him that you love him and want to give him children. Of course, this is a joke, and you yourself know that you shouldn’t look into his eyes after an aperitif and start choosing a name for the child.

But talking about offspring isn't easy, even for dating professionals. We have an interesting story about how to properly communicate with men about children. Anil, a forty-three-year-old physician and single father from Chicago, said that “talking about kids” on his first date with Jane was a good start.

Enil has two sons, and he tells women about them right away. He and Jane talked about the age and characteristics of each of the boys. At first she reacted in a very pleasant way.

Instead of asking about his custody situation like most girls had done in the past, she said, “I’m jealous that you have two such wonderful boys.”

At that very moment when Enil felt a wave of warmth towards her, the girl uttered a couple of phrases about how she would like her own children. The young man said that he would not mind having more children someday, especially with the woman he loves, but the woman’s sincere confession made him a little nervous, since he did not know exactly what he would want in the future. He didn't want to deceive Jane if he didn't want to have more children. That's why Enil didn't call her back.

Another story about how to properly communicate with men about children. Wade, a thirty-year-old architect from St. Louis, Missouri, once dated a woman who quickly moved from innocent questions about his family (where he grew up and where his siblings lived) to intrusive digging into the gene pool.

“She asked what my results were in the entrance exams, whether any of my relatives suffered from alcoholism. It seemed like she was interrogating me as a sperm donor,” Wade noted.

Men today are already sensitive to the topic of children, especially in the company of women in their thirties and forties, so you don’t even need to say the word “children” to make them panic.

Rick, a twenty-seven-year-old entrepreneur from Las Vegas, Nevada, said, “I watched her petting the dog on the sidewalk... It was a must see! She said something like “Oh, doggy, how beautiful you are! What a wonderful dog!” Rick's reaction to the violent display of emotions towards the animal was this: “This woman wants a child so bad, I just feel it... as if her eggs are drying up here on the sidewalk, one after another!”

Women's tricks of family life: what it is better never to tell your husband

The key to a happy family life is sincerity and honesty between spouses. But there are exceptions to everything. There are a few secrets you should never tell your husband.

Your own complexes

There is no woman who is completely satisfied with her appearance. Excess weight, cellulite, big nose - none of us are perfect. But you need to fight your complexes, and not “cherish” them and constantly complain. The worst option is to complain to your husband. He is not your nanny or psychotherapist. Of course, he will sympathize with you, but you will definitely not increase your self-respect in his eyes.

Memories of your exes

You need to talk about your ex either well or nothing at all. Although no. This option is also not ideal. Every time you share fond memories of your ex, your husband will think that you are blaming him for something. And, most likely, he will harbor a grudge.

Sympathy from colleagues

A stamp in a passport and a ring on a finger do not make a woman less attractive to men. Most likely, you have a lot of attractive suitors at work who would not mind starting an affair with you. Even if you don't give them any reason to do so. Just don’t be proud of it and tell your husband about everything. He already knows how beautiful you are. Stories about fans will definitely make him jealous. And jealousy, as you know, does not lead to good things.

Secrets of your girlfriends

When your friend shares a secret with you and asks you not to tell anyone, she also means your husband. Even though you are one family, you are still two full-fledged people, and not a single whole. In addition, your husband may forget that the information was secret and spill the beans among mutual friends.

Criticism from relatives

There is at least one relative in your family who will be enraged by your chosen one. It’s good if it’s someone not from your close circle, and especially not your mother. But in any case, you should not convey offensive words thrown in his direction to your husband. Even if he has good self-esteem, it will still upset him.

Dissatisfaction with his body

A wise wife is akin to a brilliant diplomat. Openly criticizing the external shortcomings of your spouse is a disastrous business. Most men are vulnerable and sensitive to criticism of their body. Even if they try their best to portray the opposite. Most likely, he will harbor a universal grudge against you, and only then will he run to the gym to correct his shortcomings.

Losing interest

There comes a time in the life of every family when the intensity of passions fades away. This is nature, it is difficult to fight it. But you shouldn’t try your best to “solve” this problem. And even more so, blame yourself or your husband for this. Just relax. Remember how it all began. Flirting, making advances, compliments. Everything should happen naturally and without coercion.

Your children's cute secrets

For small children, mother is the closest person. And if they ask you to keep something secret, do it. For example, your little daughter likes the neighbor boy. But she is shy and asks not to tell dad anything. Most likely, dad himself noticed everything a long time ago. But if you don't keep your mouth shut, your child's faith in you will be shaken.

Why is it so difficult to talk to my husband?

Do you still think that true love doesn't need words? Just the opposite. Confidential conversations make your relationships deeper and you happier. Experts are sure: learning to talk to each other is as important as enjoying sex. Even the most fabulous nights come to an end, and if, leaving bed, you have nothing to exchange a few phrases with each other about, then the forecasts for long-term family happiness are very doubtful. Often it is the ability to communicate that is the decisive factor that shows whether a family union of two people can be long, prosperous and full of trust. TALKERS FOR THE FAMILY! Partners who are truly passionate about each other will always have topics for conversation. And not just about personal problems. Loving people discuss a variety of “matters”: from the fall in the dollar to the new man of their best friend. They make common plans for the coming weekend and share the events of the past day. They talk about the latest news in the country, sports, movies and books. They laugh, argue, chat and even gossip. They are never bored in each other's company. Most often, such an intense dialogue develops between partners in a completely natural way. People do not learn any special rules of communication, but are simply sincerely interested in each other’s thoughts and feelings. But what to do if conversations begin to increasingly drag you into endless and fruitless arguments? You need to try to change your communication style. - First of all, learn to listen! Everyone knows how important it is to be able to listen without interrupting your interlocutor. But everyone forgets about this too. But the ability to listen is already 90% of successful communication. So curb your desire to interfere with your partner's speech. - Don’t interrupt or correct. First, listen to his point of view and only then express yours. If the bad habit of interrupting is difficult to overcome at first, try biting your tongue. Yes, yes, literally. This way you will receive a clear and painful signal from yourself to remain silent while your partner speaks. — Try not to turn the dialogue into a monologue. Your limitless knowledge in accounting (cooking, pedagogy, medicine, etc.) is commendable, but let your spouse speak as well. Free conversation is a process in which both partners participate and involves an equal exchange of opinions. And long and tedious lectures in the first person can tire any listener and turn a conversation into serving a duty for him. - Don’t bring all your problems into the house. Each person has his own threshold, beyond which he simply ceases to actively perceive information. This means that it is not always worth bringing down on your partner your emotional experiences from troubles at work, friendly intrigues, shopping and transport shocks. Many things are better discussed with your mother or friend. Or learn to cope with emotions on your own. - Feel free to express your love. The stronger sex needs approval, support and compliments no less than you and me. Well, should you say once again: “I’m so happy with you!” or “You look great today!” It’s not difficult for you, and a man’s self-esteem immediately increases. Reward your spouse for behavior that you like. By doing so, you will enhance the positive aspects of your relationship. THE SILENT SPHINX? Both women and men from time to time feel the need to be alone with themselves. In men, the desire to be alone or at least to be silent arises much more often. After all, as you know, they don’t really like to ask for help. If your husband gets lost in an unfamiliar area, he will most likely prefer to drive around to the last drop of gasoline rather than seek directions. And even more so, he will not seek help in a stressful situation, when he needs to think about some problem or find an answer to a nagging question. It is preferable for him to think in splendid isolation. The man is silent, and his brain at this moment is busy developing an important decision. Sometimes the thought process takes literally a couple of minutes, and sometimes it lasts for hours or even days. Unfortunately, most women do not understand this male tendency and immediately begin to go over all their words and actions in their memory: “What if I did something wrong?” These moments can be the most stressful in your relationship. - Don't engage in self-criticism. Your partner’s silence does not mean that he suddenly stopped loving you or that he doesn’t care about you. It only means that for a while you should not invade his personal space and demand attention. - Do not prevent a man from being alone with himself. When you notice that your husband's face has acquired an expression of hidden anguish, do not distract him or interrupt his thought process. Don’t pester him with the notorious: “Why are you silent?” Let him have enough time to think about this or that issue. When a man is ready, he himself will turn to you for help. Most likely, after his “return” you will become even closer to each other. - Even if you know the reason for his silent boycott, do not rush to offer your help to your partner. Men really don't like it when women start giving them advice they didn't ask for. — Sometimes a man’s reticence may have another completely natural reason. My husband came home from work, tired, and comfort and a delicious dinner awaited him at home. He wants to relax, be himself and silently watch a good movie. He certainly feels good with you - so why the words? Curb your eloquence and you will take another step towards mutual understanding. This is the very case when it is more pleasant to be silent together. IT'S MORE INTERESTING TOGETHER Yes, the great Carnegie was right when he said that you can get along well with another person if you start talking to him about his needs. This rule also works in family relationships. It is difficult for partners to have a free conversation if they have few common interests or topics of conversation. Of course, during a period of intense love, he forgets about basketball and computers and even pretends that he is interested in all those violets on your window. However, very soon everything will return to normal and conversations about matches, cars and gigabytes will immediately come out. What to do? — Try to make personal hobbies part of your relationship. If your husband is sincerely passionate about something, then you still cannot avoid talking about it. So why not expand the horizons of your knowledge through the interests of your companion? Let him feel that you are really interested in what he is talking about. — Become a competent interlocutor. Men and women perceive the world differently and express even the same thoughts very differently. But this will not interfere with mutual understanding if you really know the subject you are talking about. PS In general, don’t play the silent game with your husband. Talk morning, noon and evening. On the phone, at the dinner table, in a cafe, on the beach, in a store and in bed. Don't wait for the stormy flow of speech to suddenly turn into a feeble stream. WOMEN LOVE TO TALK, MEN ARE IRRITATED BY TALKING Women need conversations like air. American psychologists have found a completely scientific explanation for this. It turns out that in women the area of the brain that controls speech is 20% larger than in men. The speech abilities of the fair half of humanity began to develop ahead of schedule in primitive society. While the men silently hunted mammoths, the women spent the whole day collectively caring for children and everyday life. And all this - in active communication with other women of the tribe. So women's eloquence has been honed for many millennia. But, unfortunately, many men are not able to listen to long monologues of their spouse. If you don’t want to be branded as an empty talker, take care of your husband’s ears. Sometimes it's good to keep quiet! 60% of all family conversations begin at the initiative of women. WOMEN SHARE FEELINGS, MEN SOLVE PROBLEMS If a man, finding himself in a stressful situation, often prefers to plunge into silence, then a woman, on the contrary, feels the need to talk about her troubles. Overwhelmed by emotions, a woman finds relief in speaking out and receiving sympathy. But men, as a rule, do not understand this. They immediately begin to suggest various solutions. “I’m so tired from this job,” you complain. “Constant checks, reports, commissions.” “Darling,” the husband immediately reacts, “I’ve been telling you for a long time: quit!” Of course, you are not going to quit. You have a great job close to home and a great salary, but today was a hard day. Well, tell him about it - you don’t need his advice, but just want to “cry on a strong shoulder.” WOMEN LIKE DETAILS, MEN SAY THE ESSENCE A man is a man of action. Talking more than is necessary to convey basic information seems like a waste of time to him. Men usually prefer a one-line narrative, their sentences and phrases have a clearly separated beginning, middle and end. From their speech it is easy to understand what they are talking about and what they want. Women, on the contrary, are happy to provide a lot of details, associations and clarifications, often distracting from the essence of the conversation. Such thoroughness can drive men crazy. The advice is simple: try to learn to state the essence of the matter first, and save the details for later. And in their conversations, women sometimes share information with each other that men consider very personal. Indeed, why tell your best friend about diarrhea that befell your husband? Respect your partner's right to personal secrets!

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Say a word about feminine nature...

“Since it was mainly men who could write, all the misfortunes in the world were attributed to women.”
Samuel Johnson, literary critic, poet 1709-1784

The other day, a friend posted a video with the wonderful Ekaterina Shulman. I was hooked by a passage on the topic of female nature. We have all encountered statements that women have certain innate qualities. Increased emotionality, chaotic thinking, a tendency to submit... We know that with the help of this “pattern”, society tries to control the sexes and imposes roles that are convenient for it.

So, Shulman cited images of women of the past that are strikingly different from what is being imposed on us now. The examples turned out to be unexpectedly accurate. Some 300-500 years ago, the “nature” of women was completely different! So, let's take it in order.

Woman as a primitive creature

Few would deny that the monopoly on the primitive today belongs to men. Society presents men as mundane creatures, designed for promiscuous copulation. Many men are proud of this “animality” of theirs and expect leniency from women towards sexual harassment or betrayal. Male baseness is now presented (and sold) as something “masculine real,” but “real” women are presented as spiritual beings, a kind of concentration of ethics and morality. If today they talk about “sublime love,” they take as an example some wives of the Decembrists, Bulgakov’s Margarita or Sonechka Marmeladova.

That is why girls are required to conform to a certain high moral character. At the same time, no one presses the boys: “boys are just boys”... But women are condemned for their pressure, rudeness and other inconsistencies with the feminine template.

But the feminine image was not always so subtle. In the past, a woman was considered a creature, although lovely, but completely primitive. The man was the beacon of spirituality: he not only comprehended science and mastered the arts, he acted as the founder of morality and the bearer of morality. The woman got the role of that very base animal, incapable of comprehending moral values and high feelings. This is confirmed by literary sources of the past. If you filter out quotes about love and female beauty, the bottom line is the following female characteristics.

“Woman will be the last thing that man civilizes.” George Meredith, writer, 1828-1909

“ The weaker sex has never shown us an example of this*, and according to the unanimous opinion of all philosophical schools of antiquity, women have to be excluded here.” Michel De Montaigne, writer and philosopher, 1533-1592 * - fragment of reflections on friendship.

“With greater justification, the female sex could be called the unaesthetic, or ungraceful, sex. And indeed, women have neither sensitivity nor true inclination either for music, or for poetry, or for the educational arts; and if they indulge in them and rush around with them, then this is nothing more than simple monkeying for the purposes of coquetry and the desire to please.” Arthur Schopenhauer, philosopher, 1788-1860

“A woman is an incomprehensible and stupid creature, but she is funny and sweet; with her stupidity she seasones and sweetens the dreary importance of the male mind.” Erasmus of Rotterdam, writer and philosopher, 1466-1536

“I do not understand the error of women who disdain men and value them little, whereas, realizing what they themselves are and what the nobility that God has given to man above any other animal, they should be proud when they are loved by someone and value him highly and use every effort to please him, so that he never stops loving them.” Giovanni Boccaccio, writer and poet, 1313-1375

“A woman is a lower being, she is too subordinate to her feelings. For me, a woman is good when she looks like a man.” Honore de Balzac, writer, 1799-1850

So, the woman of the past is primitive and mediocre, although she is sweet and funny. Even the widely replicated story about the Knight and the Beautiful Lady assigns the woman the role of decoration: all sublime feelings are nourished by the man, who also accomplishes great feats.

Woman as a lustful female

Let's go back to the present for a moment and talk about sex. Despite all the sexual revolutions, society still believes that only men need sex (remember the “natural” male hypersexuality). Women today need relationships, and the carnal - insofar as. Women's sexuality now belongs to men. At least that's what they think and want to dispose of it.

That’s why today women are condemned for having an active sex life, for revealing outfits, and for not wanting to play prude. Few people will take seriously a woman’s desires within the framework of her sexuality; everyone will look at her sexuality through the eyes of men. “What did she do to make her...?”

If you read the famous men of the past, a woman not only does not disdain carnal pleasures, but also constantly seeks them. Woman was a vicious creature, and female lust coexisted perfectly alongside male lust. Despite the subordinate position of women, the blame for seducing men was often placed squarely on her. Christianity fought to the death with libertines: during the witch hunts, it was believed that a woman yielded to her base nature and copulated with the devil.

“Chastity is the law for women, while in men they value depravity above all else. Isn't it funny? Luc de Clapier, philosopher, moralist and writer, 1715-1747

“All men are liars, talkers, hypocrites, proud and cowards, lustful, worthy of contempt. All women are cunning, boastful, insincere, curious and depraved. But the most sacred and sublime thing in the world is the union of these imperfect, disgusting creatures.” Alfred De Musset, poet and writer, 1810-1857

“Women are much more likely to be corrupted by intimate conversations with friends than men.” Honore de Balzac, writer, 1799-1850

“Is there a single woman in the world who could say that she does not feel a need to have intercourse as urgent as the need to drink or eat?” Marquis De Sade, politician, writer and philosopher, 1740-1814

“All a woman can promise without lying is that she will not look for an opportunity*.” Pierre Marc Gaston de Levi-Lerant, politician and aphorist, 1764-1830 * - about betrayal.

Reading ancient books, we see that the woman of the past had “natural” sexual desires and tried to realize them, no matter what. Shakespeare's works are filled with dissolute women. The heroes, of course, condemn them in every possible way. Boccaccio's libertines evoke more sympathy: their antics are designed to amuse the reader. But Balzac composed an entire treatise, “The Physiology of Marriage,” which taught husbands how to prevent the appearance of horns. However, the forecast was that betrayal would happen sooner or later, and the husband was offered to console himself with delicious food from his wife or a high position bestowed by her lover.

A woman is like a womb, but not a mother

The last exhibit in our museum will be motherhood. Although a modern woman can make a choice in favor of abandoning children, women's “natural” destiny still rests on motherhood. Fussing with children, caring for them and teaching them is not only her responsibility: society believes that any woman is good at this.

“Our grandmothers did not have any postpartum depression!” — such slogans can be seen under women’s posts about the difficulty of raising children and running a household. However, speakers never take into account how monstrously maternal debt has swelled since the lives of our grandmothers. How much the value of a child’s life has increased, how the requirements for socialization have transformed, and how much effort it takes to carry a child without the help of the community.

And if we look deep into the centuries, interesting things will be revealed. The woman of the past had no obligation to be a mother in the sense that is meant today. She was supposed to give birth to heirs. As psychologist Boris Medinsky wrote: “In classical patriarchy, childbearing was a woman’s responsibility, and raising a child was a right; in the era of post-patriarchy, it’s exactly the opposite: childbearing became a right, and raising one’s child was a duty.”

Nobody told women about their natural talent for raising offspring. Motherly love, of course, was there, but the long-term maternal burden, perhaps, was not there. The children of commoners, if they survived infancy, were left to their own devices before compulsory labor. Aristocrats, since they had such an opportunity, often separated their children from themselves immediately after childbirth. Nurses, nannies and tutors worked for rich offspring. And the father was obliged to oversee moral education. Look how strange statements about fatherhood look today, because we are used to talking only about motherhood.

"A father's heart is nature's masterpiece." Antoine François Prévost, writer, 1697-1763

“One father means more than a hundred teachers. Without good fathers there is no good education, despite all the schools, institutes and boarding schools.” Voltaire, philosopher, 1694-1778

“If anyone does not have a good father, get one for himself.” Friedrich Nietzsche, philosopher, 1844-1900

"Father! “We cannot give a more holy name to God himself.” William Wordsworth, poet, 1770-1850

“A father’s love is no different from self-love.” Luc de Vauvenargues, philosopher and moralist, 1715-1747

“A father knows his children no worse than God knows us all; he reads the depths of hearts and judges the very intentions.” Honore de Balzac, writer, 1799-1850

Women of the past would have lived well without children among their troubles, but men needed heirs and workers. When a modern woman says: “I bore him children,” as if it were her merit, she is laughed at. Isn’t it clear that it is women who need children? However, now we can understand where it came from.

Topics for conversation

Many girls ask the question: “How to communicate with a man so that he always has interest?” The answer is indecently simple: be interesting to him. To do this, you need to read a lot and develop in different industries. Gone are the days when an intelligent woman was considered a black sheep. Today, a lady simply needs to be educated, because a modern man is in dire need of a highly intelligent life partner. Thus, in order to be able to hold the attention of representatives of the opposite sex for a long time, you will have to try hard. However, you shouldn’t “shine with your mind” at every opportunity; it’s best to just be able to competently carry on a conversation. If knowledge in a particular area is very weak, absent, or based on rumors, it is better to keep quiet so as not to say outright nonsense and not make yourself look stupid. But there is one thing: some guys are simply afraid of smart girls, because they themselves are not very developed. Therefore, in this way you can not only tie a young man to you, but also scare him away. What to do? Take a closer look at the object of your sympathy, listen to his speech, pay attention to his manners. All these little things can tell a lot.

Zodiac signs

It is worth talking separately about how women should communicate with men - representatives of different signs of the Zodiac.

Aries. By nature, these men are energetic, restless and always on the move. To arouse interest in your person, you need to be a well-read and highly educated lady.
How to communicate with a Taurus man? This is a very interesting question. So, these people are open, emotional and sincere. They will demand the same from communicating with a girl. In such relationships, it is better for the lady to remain herself and remember that Taurus loves honesty and devotion.
Twins. Representatives of this sign are freedom-loving by nature and not too serious. A woman should not expect much from communicating with a Gemini guy. Lack of obligations and minimum requirements are the key to a successful relationship.
Cancers. These are people of strong spirit and great will. To impress a representative of a given zodiac sign, you need to be condescending towards his weaknesses, and also be friendly.
How to communicate with a Leo man? Here the name of the character of the zodiac circle speaks for itself. So, these are people who love themselves enough, and besides, they are leaders by nature. You need to communicate with such a person on maximum equal terms and under no circumstances put yourself at least a little higher. Leos love praise very much and do not tolerate betrayal. If you follow these simple rules, communicating with Leo will be a pleasure.
Virgos. Representatives of this sign are hardworking and have a cold, calculating mind. They will be interested in those ladies who are well educated and have advanced up the career ladder (reached a certain level in their working life). Virgos also love praise.
The next sign is Libra. What should you remember in this case? How to communicate with a man? Libras are people who change their minds often. At the same time, they are calm, cheerful and attentive. And a lady needs to be the same. In a difficult moment for them, you need to drop everything and be there: these natures, like no other, require attention and support.
Scorpion. The question of how to communicate with a Scorpio man is incredibly relevant, since these are extraordinary individuals. They are often self-willed and proud. It is better to communicate with representatives of this sign casually, without provoking them into quarrels. If you know about the weak point of such a man, do not try to use this information as a weapon directed against him - this will not lead to anything good. A scorpion can sting quite painfully, and not just with words.
Sagittarius. These are very sociable men. Therefore, a lady needs to be prepared to communicate with many of their friends and acquaintances. The chosen one will not understand and will not accept prohibitions in this regard. The basic rules of communication with Sagittarius: do not reveal all the secrets (they do not know how to keep them to themselves) and do not impose.
Capricorn. By nature, they are very patient and reserved individuals. In addition, they are always serious and often do not like excessive gaiety. When communicating with a representative of this sign, you always need to prove your reliability and loyalty. And do not forget that Capricorns require understanding and sympathy from their halves.
Aquarius. No less necessary will be a hint on how to communicate with an Aquarius man. These people are not arrogant, but sociable. You need to be on equal terms with them, they love it. In addition, you need to remember two important points: you won’t be able to convince Aquarius, you shouldn’t even start; For representatives of this sign, status is not important, but the inner world of the interlocutor is of great importance.
Fish. By nature, Pisces are very receptive to everything that surrounds them, and they are also very vulnerable. Finding a common language with a representative of this sign is not so easy, because he does not allow everyone to approach him. Only by showing goodwill, sincerity, and later complete devotion, can you earn the love of a Pisces man.

Taboo

Now let's talk about what a girl should avoid when communicating with guys.

Don't teach. A woman should not tell a young man what to do or say - this is a huge mistake.
Don't interrupt. A man needs to be listened to completely, without trying to insert his “five cents.” Only after the end of the monologue can you express your opinion on a particular issue.
Don't criticize. It is strictly forbidden to criticize the guy himself or his immediate circle, especially parents and friends, in a conversation.
Don't impose. If a man currently cannot or does not want to communicate, there is no need to insist on this.
Don't exalt yourself. Girls should remember that there is no need to advertise yourself too much, even if you are an angel in the flesh. Let the guy learn about everything gradually and preferably from other people’s lips. And every time you emphasize how smart and beautiful you are, it’s simply stupid.

And the last thing I want to say: all the rules and tips are good, but you don’t need to get too hung up on it all. We must remember that when communicating with a representative of the opposite sex, you need to be as open and natural as possible, and then everything will work out by itself, and communication will reach the level that both need.

Overcome the cunning within yourself

Stopping being cunning is very difficult. This attitude grows very deeply into our consciousness. I remember that already at school many girls successfully used their “tricks”; it just looked ugly. It is very difficult to overcome the stereotypes of a society in which the opinion that a woman should be cunning and resourceful is firmly entrenched. Must be able to manipulate and do everything your own way. In our minds, the proverb that a man is the head, and a woman is the neck, is now firmly associated with cunning, and not with female wisdom.

To overcome this habit of deception in yourself, you need to understand that you are really used to living this way, you need to admit to yourself that you are deceiving yourself. After all, in order to defeat the disease, you have to admit that it exists. And then start treatment.

What is the meaning of communication between people?

Both the nice lady and the experienced leader begin to communicate with the people around them. They put emotion and energy into it. But the result is invariably the opposite of what they want. They probably never heard, and if they heard, they did not pay due attention to one well-known wisdom: the meaning of communication is determined by its results, not intentions.

The meaning of communication is determined by its results, not its intentions.

Read this phrase carefully. It seems absolutely clear, like the saying of Captain Obvious. The trouble is that this obviousness does not in any way affect the daily behavior of almost 100% of the world's inhabitants!

During communication, we want something from our interlocutors. At the same time, we perceive them at the same time as telepaths and robots.

Why telepaths?

Yes, because a huge number of our messages, with which we “load” our interlocutors, are a continuation of our thoughts or internal dialogues. When communicating with each other, we, like the last donkeys, are convinced that our communication partners perfectly understand what we are talking about. And when they don't do this, we are unusually surprised and angry. It's still so obvious! It doesn’t occur to our self-centered mind that the poor interlocutor is completely unaware of what you were thinking about before you opened your mouth and said something. After all, this happened inside of us. And only there. And no one else knew about it.

What is the result of such communication? Irritation, misunderstanding, often conflicts and quarrels. Is this what you wanted?

Why robots?

Because we perceive our interlocutors as creatures devoid of emotions, possessing 100% memory and switching speed. In addition, we deny that they have habits, meanings, complexes, beliefs, their life situations, etc.

This is what it looks like.

The enraged boss yells at his subordinate: “I told you that you can’t write like that in a report”!!! By default, the boss assumes that:

the subordinate is incapable of forgetting anything,
he has no habits
he can learn something new the first time.

And, most importantly, he does not take into account the fact that the shock of shouting and insults does not always contribute to a positive perception of information.

Are you married?

The issue of this very trick is especially acute when a woman is already married. And we were taught that men need to be manipulated and get everything from them to the maximum: money, attention, gifts, understanding... A woman is very greedy by nature, we will always not have enough of everything. And here this very notorious cunning, harmless lie, deceit and pretense comes into play. A woman’s cunning even manifests itself in the fact that she hides her real feelings and thoughts from her husband. Such a woman will never open her heart to her man. She will always think about how to trick her so that all her wishes are fulfilled. She doesn't care about those around her. And then we begin to wonder, why are we so unhappy in our marriage? Because for a happy family union you need to have wisdom, not cunning. A cunning woman is a woman who does not know herself and is afraid to develop love in her heart. A woman with a “cunning” lies to herself every day, lies to others from time to time and receives in response only the same deceitful world. But the outside world only reflects her current inner state. In a broad sense, such a woman is simply afraid to be under the protection of her husband. It’s good that we have the power to change ourselves, and thus change our lives. The main thing is to understand whether we need changes, or do we want to continue to live according to the established rules and cultivate lies in ourselves instead of wisdom?