While absolutely everyone in the world was experiencing self-isolation in April 2020, the British Radford family from the town of Morecambe had much more pleasant worries. Sue Radford gave birth to a daughter, Heidi Rose. It would seem that this is an unremarkable and ordinary event, if not for one “but”! This is the twenty second child in the family!!!
This family came to the attention of the general public back in 2012. Then Sue and Noel Radford had their fifteenth child and appeared on the reality show 15 Kids and Counting. But the name of the documentary show had to be constantly changed due to the growing number of children in the Radford family!
Sue and Noel claim Heidi is the last baby! There will be no more additions to the family. However, this is not the first time that parents with many children have made such statements. Therefore, the number of children may still change.
The Radford family before the birth of their 22nd child
Where it all began
Sue and Noel Redford have been together for thirty-two years. Sue is now 45, and Noel will celebrate her fiftieth birthday this December. The couple met in adolescence. The young people had a lot in common - both grew up in foster families, since their biological parents abandoned them in early childhood.
The first time Sue realized that she was pregnant was still thirteen years old (Noel was already seventeen by then). The young people decided to keep the child. This is how their first son, Christopher, was born. This happened on May 7, 1989.
Despite the fact that the young people were still, in fact, children themselves, they decided to raise the child on their own, without sending him to a foster family. Sue and Noel did not want the baby to have the same fate as theirs.
In 1993, the young people got married. Sue was already 18 years old at the time. They got a job in a bakery that belonged to Noel's relatives. Six years later, the bakery was owned by Noel and Sue, and the business began to generate good profits. At that time, their family already numbered five children!
Since that time, the Radford family was replenished with newborns every year, and the family bakery, which baked a variety of pies that were very popular in the area, flourished!
At the moment, the family business is successfully run by daughter Kloe. The girl is 24 years old and is the third oldest child in the family. She is helped by Daniel, who is now 21 years old. The young man is the fifth child of the Radford family. Sue and Noel take great pride in running their own business and not wasting law-abiding taxpayers' money. In addition, such a large and friendly family has absolutely no debt!
Children doing homework
Femininity - physiology and psychology
A woman is preparing to conceive and bear a child. To do this, she becomes attractive to a man; she secretes various enzymes, pheromones, as well as femininity hormones and estrogens.
Her body is being rebuilt in anticipation of conception. The whole woman physiologically and psychologically attracts a man, she is feminine, sexy and attractive.
In animals, this stage is limited by the time of maturation of the egg. Everything is simple for them. During the fertile period, the female attracts the male, he fertilizes her. And no psychological problems.
What about a person?
A woman can always be sexually attractive, regardless of whether she is currently fertile or not. But, subconsciously, demonstrating sexuality, she seems to “tell” the man that she is ready to conceive. She “promises” him continuation of the family. Any man is always ready to procreate; the only older instinct than this is the instinct of survival.
Thus, during the femininity phase, a woman is ready to receive a man's seed and conceive. She takes responsibility for this, she wants children from this man.
This is where it all begins.
In addition to physiological functions, a woman has a complexly organized psyche. And the simple ability of a female to let a male in and conceive turns into the female ability to accept, take, attract.
This applies to everything a man gives her. His seed for the birth of a child. His love, his passion. His ideas, his character. She even accepts his fate and shares it with him.
A man gives his wife security and stability in society, prosperity, a home, and the opportunity to give birth and raise children. With harmonious relationships, he has the opportunity to succeed, create his own business, and earn money.
He goes hunting with a light heart, and all the mammoths in the area will be his. And he will drag them into the house, because he personally has absolutely no need for these mammoths, this is all for her and the children. He doesn’t care much about the rest; it’s up to his wife to feed him and caress him.
A woman's ability to receive, to preserve, to absorb, to grow, is fundamental. The ability to preserve the family hearth and family traditions is about the same thing.
Acceptance also applies to the problems and difficulties that all people have. If you have already decided to be with this person, then you should understand that you will have to accept him entirely. And cherish the best in him. This work is not easy, but believe me, it is worth it.
Distortions of femininity
Femininity can look completely different. A woman can not just take what a man voluntarily gives her, but can actively take, demand, manipulate.
She forgets at this moment that the Sun shines and warms the Earth simply because it cannot help but shine, this is its nature. And not at all because it is obliged to shine. This attitude towards a man extinguishes his masculinity.
It happens that a girl did not see the positive experience of her parents and was unable to grow into a woman. She doesn't know how to accept what a man gives. But she needs it. And her femininity can become predatory. Sexuality becomes a weapon.
Many modern women are convinced that men should give them everything. Money, property, love, all your strength, simply because they, women, are so beautiful. Unfortunately, active feminism turns everything upside down. Give it to me, the woman says, and I’ll take it. And try not to give it! I will arrange a fun life for you!
As many training sessions as you like on the art of seducing men and the ability to take as much as possible. “How to get a fur coat, diamonds and a Mercedes from a man” is often one of the main questions in a relationship.
Her own femininity and sexuality, as well as the unconditional subordination of a man to the instinct of procreation, in this case become a tool with which a woman uses a man. At the same time, for some reason she is offended when he begins to use her.
This is very evident at the maximum degree of immaturity and low self-esteem of a woman. It’s as if she remains a girl and attracts her dad to her. The image of an accomplished man, sometimes even elderly and ugly, who carries a beautiful and young woman in a luxury car, is probably known to everyone.
Her body and her sexuality are payment for the fact that he solves all her material problems. Gives that same security and stability in society. True, he only gives as long as she pays.
In all this there is no respect for a man, no love. There is no desire to share his fate with him, to raise his children. Yes, by and large, there is no respect for oneself as a woman if she allows herself such commodity-money relations. She's just a thing. There is no psychological and mental maturity, no responsibility for oneself and a man.
A gross manipulation of a man occurs, based on his deep desire to continue the family line. But often a woman has no idea that it hits her too. That by taking away a man’s strength, by manipulating, she destroys herself as a woman too.
If a woman becomes predatory and actively pulls the “blanket” over herself, then in this case her feminine nature is distorted.
When the egg calls the sperm for a new life to begin, it is ready to begin this new life. Conception occurs, the child grows and is born. It does not occur to the egg that the sperm will cover it with diamonds.
In the case when a woman simply takes, without bearing or giving birth to anything, the man will sooner or later understand that he is, as they say, being fooled. And completely cynical. When he realizes this, then watch out, woman!
But there are some peculiarities here too. Often a man understands this quite late, when years have been lost and there is no hope for him to change anything. And the children have grown up, where does he leave them? Besides, he knows that there is nowhere to go anyway, they are all like that.
Then the man starts drinking, gets sick, and dies earlier. It is known that on average men live 18 years less than women. Or he still leaves to save himself. True, this happens quite rarely...
Big friendly family
The number of girls and boys in the Radford family was divided exactly in half - eleven boys and the same number of girls. The oldest son, Christopher, is 31 years old. And the youngest, Heidi, was born in April of this year.
There was a very unpleasant moment in the family. In 2014, Alfie's son was supposed to be born, but Sue was unable to carry the baby to term - she lost the baby at 23 weeks. But the spouses always remember him and include him in the list of names of their numerous offspring.
If you count the entire duration of Sue’s pregnancy, you get a rather impressive figure - sixteen and a half years!
Just think about this number! According to the woman herself, she never had any problems during pregnancy, and childbirth was always easy, and some very quickly. For example, Bonnie's son, the twenty-first child in the family, was born in just 12 minutes!
Back in 2003, the Radford couple decided to stop - then their family consisted of nine children. In October of that year, son James was born. Noel even decided to have a vasectomy! But very little time passed, and Sue made it clear to her husband that she wanted more children. Once again, Noel had to undergo surgery, this time to restore fertility. The addition to the family did not take long to arrive - already in May 2005, Sue gave birth to a girl, who was named Ellie. She became the tenth child in their family.
Since pregnancy did not cause Sue any problems, and the family business began to generate good income, the couple decided that there would be twenty children in their family! They reached this number in the fall of 2020, when Sue gave her husband a son, Archie - the boy became the twentieth child in the Radford family!
After this, the couple officially announced that Archie would be the last child in their family! It should be noted that this time Noel refused the vasectomy, and Sue was very sad that she would not have any more children.
But the promise was not kept! In the fall of 2020, daughter Bonnie is born, followed by Heidi. Oddly enough, for the Radford couple, the birth of each child is a great family joy.
Now their large family is becoming even larger due to the appearance of grandchildren! The eldest son Christopher gave the Radfords two grandchildren, and daughter Sophie three!
Motherhood - physiology and psychology
The features of motherhood are easy to see by understanding the laws of the second phase of the cycle. The second half of the cycle is called the maternity phase. This is the time when the egg has matured and conception is possible.
The uterus is preparing to receive an embryo, a small person. The hormonal background changes, the motherhood hormone progesterone is produced. Nutrients accumulate inside the uterus.
In the second half of the cycle, the temperature in the woman’s pelvis rises to keep the growing baby warm. A woman in this sense is like a hen; she has laid an egg and is preparing to hatch it. Bearing and raising a child, giving him warmth and security, feeding him with your milk, giving love and support - this is the maternal part of a woman. This is the essence of the physiology and psychology of motherhood.
If everything is harmonious in a woman’s life, then this has a very positive effect on her health. She has a normal menstrual cycle. It cannot be otherwise, because the functions of the body and psyche are the same. But what seems so simple and obvious on the menstrual cycle chart becomes far from simple in relationships.
Simple functions of reproduction, transforming in the human psyche, sometimes give very bizarre character traits.
What is motherhood in a relationship?
When a man is weak, sick, tired, his wife becomes his mother. Symbolically, she breastfeeds. But only for this time, when he seems to become a child and needs the motherly love of a woman. He rests and gains strength in her warmth and care.
The rest of the time she is not a mother, but a woman and a wife. And it is important to switch in time, not to get stuck in motherhood, otherwise the woman will be in trouble. Under no circumstances should you confuse your husband with your son!
Distortions of motherhood
Motherhood, like femininity, can be inharmonious. A woman can be a mother sustainably. Not only when a man needs it, but all the time. She doesn't know the limits.
And she even gets offended and takes revenge when a man knocks her out of this role in every possible way. Doesn't want to give up his position of power. Or maybe he just doesn’t know how to do otherwise. The maternal model of behavior is very common, because often a woman plays the role of a man in the family, and growing daughters see this and learn exactly this.
A sense of proportion is important. Feel when you need to stop being a mother. Stop giving. Giving is a man's job. And a woman’s task is to take.
Otherwise, he has no chance to grow up, learn to be a man. He will remain a little boy who needs to be raised, scolded, loved, cared for.
It’s hard to imagine the anger a man feels when he is kept in short pants and not allowed to be an adult and mature.
Very often, a woman demonstrates adult, maternal qualities not just in the form of love and support. And in the form of distorted motherhood - an irritated, controlling, punishing mother.
This automatically turns a man into a boy. And often he must earn his mother’s love, give her as much as possible. As they say, everything was mixed up in the Oblonskys’ house: horses, people... 
Have you thought about how to go to bed with your mother? There's absolutely no way without Viagra. Poor boys, they are also sexually obliged to satisfy their demanding mother. Or, on the contrary, a caring and loving mother will take care of his sexual health... I will not continue.
How does the Radford family live?
In 2004, the Radfords paid £240,000 for the huge, spacious four-storey building, which had previously been a care home. The mansion was built in the style of Victorian architecture and has 10 bedrooms and a living basement. There are now 19 children living with the Radfords. Everyone feels quite comfortable: they don’t skimp on food, celebrate family holidays on a grand scale and often go on vacation abroad.
The Radford family owns a 15-passenger minivan, but after Heidi was born, the couple also purchased an SUV.
One of the biggest household problems is laundry! The Radfords installed a huge washing machine in the basement. In order to wash her large family, Sue has to put in laundry nine times a day. It takes about 30 bottles of liquid powder per month to do laundry! You can also note the high consumption of toilet paper. It takes about four rolls a day!
In order to feed the whole family, Sue and Noel spend 300 pounds a week - that's about 27,000 rubles! For each breakfast, the Radfords buy 10 liter bottles of milk, 3 liters of juice and 3 boxes of cereal.
In addition to everything, Sue and Noel acquired four-legged pets - French bulldogs Ivy and Bluebell. Love, joy and general fun always reign in the Radford house!
Even during the period of self-isolation, a large family does not have to be sad: in two days their yard was replenished with a playground and a water park! Now children can swim in their own pool, swing on the swings, play on the slides and mud kitchen! Well, adults can comfortably spend time in the small bar that the Radfords set up in the garden.
Broken relationships: why a woman’s behavior destroys a marriage
In personal relationships between a man and a woman, there are usually many factors that can either strengthen these relationships or weaken them. If these relationships are sealed by marriage, their deterioration may even lead to a breakup or divorce. Sometimes a woman’s behavior leads to such an ending, psychologists say.
Legacy and mistrust
A number of historical events in the space that in the 20th century began to be called “Soviet” provoked a literal shortage of men in society after several wars, and the dominant role of women in the family, a woman-mother who had to raise one or more children alone.
It’s already the 21st century, and the realities are completely different, but from generation to generation, a model of behavior of a woman is passed on, who shows, rather, purely maternal feelings for her husband, rather than feminine ones, says psychologist Elena Nazarenko. According to her, the model of communication with men can be seen even in young girls, who quite often make a fatal mistake - instead of the role of Woman, they choose the role of Mother. The reason for this is the same transfer from generation to generation of the experience of “women in marriage.” “The role of the Mother is still known to us, at the very least, but the role of the Woman needs to be restored bone by bone, like a relict fossil - a mammoth,” she believes, describing the overall experience of a society that is the descendants of wartime families.
E. Nazarenko clarified what the role of the Mother in a marital relationship looks like.
In your family, there has been a replacement of the roles played by a woman, if you, a woman, help a man (when he saws off a piece of board); you advise a man (at what distance to drive a nail); you do for him what he should do himself (carry bags); you work as a constant “reminder”, thinking that he is forgetful; you “raise” him like a child, like a younger brother, like an unlucky classmate - with intonation, choice of words addressed to him, general attitude; you take responsibility for his affairs and his life (“Did you pass the test?”, “Why didn’t you pass the test?”).
According to the psychologist, a man, hearing such words, feels that you do not trust him and demonstrate this distrust to him in every possible way.
What do men think about changing roles in the family?
A GolosUA correspondent interviewed several men about their attitude towards the maternal model of behavior of their spouse or girlfriend. For example, the managing partner of the legal company, lawyer Andrey Tarasov, shared his experience and observations with GolosUA. He said: “It seems to me that if a wife does not behave like a woman, but shows maternal feelings and care for her husband, then in this case he does not feel like a man. But for a real man this is a very uncomfortable and unnatural feeling. If this man who is being looked after is, of course, not a “mama’s boy” and not a fan of “being under the thumb.”
For a relationship to work, next to a woman a man must feel like a man - strong, brave, reliable, witty, experienced, etc. And if you broadcast to him, for example, that you want to take him in your arms, then he feels not like a man, but like a toddler who has soiled his diaper. This is purely a matter of emotions and comfort in these emotions.
However, if your chosen one is an infantile millennial in rolled-up pants and on a scooter, then perhaps he is normal in these emotions. And if he is an alpha male, then he will be terribly uncomfortable when he is treated like a puppy or kitten. Of course, I admit that both women and men have a number of psychotypes, and each needs its own approach,” he shared his observations.
At the same time, as Vladimir Savinov, a psychologist and researcher at the laboratory of social psychology of personality at the Institute of Social and Political Psychology of the National Academy of Sciences of Ukraine, said in a commentary to GolosUA, a man’s feeling of comfort in a relationship with a woman can arise depending on his habits, upbringing, and certain external conditions.
“A lot depends on what kind of man he is and what his comfort depends on. If a man is infantile and dependent, then, of course, he will only look for his “mother.” And a confident and strong man, again, will want an equal partner who will not treat him from a defensive position. At the same time, he, of course, understands that sometimes he wants to play like a child with a woman. Perhaps this is no less interesting than her father, when she will be a weak “girl”.
V. Savinov added: “A man, like a woman, and any living creature, experiences a palette of feelings. They change depending on many, many factors: physical condition, economic and financial capabilities, social status, any successes and failures, momentary stress and joy, and simply mood, which can be changeable. If we say that a person feels when something happens, this certainly does not mean that he always feels it.
Again, all people are different, and therefore it is impossible to give a definite answer to how a man will feel if a woman suddenly shows tolerance or guardianship towards him. For one it will be positive emotions, for another it will be negative, because they have different temperaments, characters, levels of aspirations, and values. That is, to say that a man feels when something happens does not mean that all men feel this way.”
At the same time, the psychologist admits, there are moments in every man’s life when he needs care from his wife: “When a man is weak and needs support, of course, a strong and accepting woman will delight and delight him. At the same time, when a man is full of strength and plans, and she forces her to satisfy her interests first, then she can be perceived not only as a “mother,” but as a friend, partner.”
V. Savinov also admits: “If a woman demonstrates a model of maternal behavior towards her husband, then “men become conditional “children,” showing, in particular, capriciousness and irresponsibility.”
The model of a woman’s behavior in the family depends on her upbringing
Most likely, women choose the model of behavior of a woman-Mother in relation to her husband unconsciously, psychologist Valentin Kim said in a commentary to GolosUA. “When we talk about such a maternal function of a woman-wife, we must understand that this is either overprotection or overcontrol, that is, the superlative degree of ordinary relationships. There is too much control when a woman is afraid that a man will do something wrong, wrong and there will be consequences, and then this speaks more about her own personal fear. Or it’s overprotectiveness, when she takes care of him, fearing, worrying about him. But again, this speaks more about her personal fear.
Of course, these are also the consequences of the special form of education that this woman received in her family as a child. She probably saw that this form of relationship would give her results, give her success in interpersonal relationships with a man, and this gives rise to this behavior,” he said.
And this behavior can also provoke scandals in the family, because some men are irritated by this kind of maternal care. “A mother’s attitude towards a man is a reason for divorce only when the wrong person has been chosen for family life: when a man is aiming for a mature, normal relationship, or when he himself is trying to control or take care of a woman. In this case, these relationships have no prospects,” says psychologist V. Kim.
Psychologist V. Savinov expressed the opinion that if a woman’s kind attitude towards her husband causes a storm of negative emotions in response, she should ask herself several important questions.
“If women allow a certain model of behavior that allows a man to be more liberated, non-adult, then it is important for a woman to understand: does she want a man next to her who has an inner child or a strict parent? Or can these roles alternate? Or can they be “exchanged” with each other? Or maybe both of us should be a little grown up? Can you do this while showing trust in each other? Maybe the woman and her husband need to talk about the reason for the discomfort in the relationship, about the role repertoire, when each partner can be both in the position of the protector, the strong, and in the position of the protected, the weak. And it’s worth allowing each other to change these positions during this temporary game,” he said.
How to find mutual understanding
Psychologist E. Nazarenko believes that the maternal model of behavior of a woman-wife in relation to her husband is often a manifestation of her anxiety. “If your faith in a man, your husband, has been shaken, the man is not to blame for this, then the source of concern is not he, but you yourself. If you are very, very uneasy around your man, maybe you made a mistake in choosing a man? Maybe we shouldn’t build a three-story family estate on an active volcano?” she asks.
At the same time, breaking up such a relationship is not a death sentence and does not at all mean that a woman prone to guardianship and hypercontrol will be left alone. According to V. Kim, there is still a chance that she will meet a man on her life’s path who will feel good with her. “She can still find a man who needs either hyper-custody or hyper-control. If this works out, they will compensate each other. There are a huge number of families in which women take on leadership functions, men resign themselves to this or even provoke it themselves, but, in the end, they feel harmonious: she tells him what to do, she surrounds him with care, she allows him what others don't allow...
If we see that a man is lacking initiative or weak, or, conversely, he needs someone to take care of him, because he cannot take care of himself; or he has a deep need for people to run around and baby him, then such a woman will be a good partner for him: he will be happy, and his wife will also be happy, because she got a man who can be controlled or taken care of.” , - he said.
At the same time, V. Kim notes, the development of marital relations in the 21st century is complicated by the fact that couples can file for divorce at any time. “For example, during the time of Empress Catherine II, marriages were strong, but only for the reason that there was no institution of divorce and civil relations,” the psychologist added.
He also expressed the opinion that in Ukrainian society there is no mass demand for literature that will help to better understand one’s aspirations and more accurately choose a marriage partner, husband or wife.
“In Ukraine, there is a lot of printed literature on behavioral psychology, developmental psychology, and the psychology of early relationships. I saw such literature at the capital's Petrovka market. I also saw related blogs and articles on the Internet.
But our society, as I understand it, is not looking for this, but is busy with completely different problems: issues of economic and political survival are now in first place, so Ukrainians do not pay attention to the sphere of personal relationships, as, for example, is customary in first world countries.” , said V. Kim.
Actually, in any important matter there are no trifles, especially in marriage and relationships. And if a woman seems that her efforts are causing a storm of negative emotions in her husband, most likely there is a good reason for this.
