Types of men: how to find the right approach? The right approach, or how to talk to men

We are looking for an approach: about the rules of communicating with people systematically

An accurate method of understanding the psyche is “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan. It examines the differences in the human psyche according to vectors - sets of innate properties, abilities and desires that determine his thinking, life values ​​and aspirations. There are eight such vectors. A person can be the owner of from one to eight, more often three or four vectors.

Difficulties in communication

It’s not easy if you become an object on which negative emotions are poured out. A representative of the visual vector can throw a hysteria if he is in a bad mental state, namely, fears: from literal fear for his life to numerous ones. Accusations of lack of attention and indifference, emotional blackmail and manipulation are used. A person in visual fears unconsciously demands: “Love me! I feel bad, I’m afraid - protect me!”

Such a person vitally needs emotional connections with other people. Potentially, the owners of the visual vector are kind, sympathetic, and sensitive. They are able to realize all their sensory resources in art, raising children, and caring for those in need. But when a person with a visual vector is not able to build emotional intimacy, does not reveal his sensuality with others, then he himself becomes a victim of his unspent emotions.

Difficulties in communication

During communication, it is difficult to get rid of the feeling that the interlocutor does not care about you: he looks somewhere through you, or, rather, inside himself, speaks quietly, sometimes understated, as if he had already thought it up for himself, and sees no point in explaining it to you. It is unpleasant to feel like an empty place when communicating with such egocentrics. They may easily not answer at all if the subject of the conversation does not seem worth their attention to them. Or even show hostility and arrogance.

The bottom line is that the owner of the sound vector is of little interest in everyday topics. His mind is focused on revealing global abstract questions: “What is the meaning of life?”, “Who am I and what is my purpose?”,
“Where did we come from and where are we going?”
. In the course of his eternal search, these questions are modified and take on a particular form, which is manifested, for example, in the study of exact sciences, inventive research, writing, philosophical or religious research. In the modern world, the main interests of sound engineers are Internet technologies and psychology.

Such a person needs concentration and silence. Therefore, he appears aloof, indifferent and silent. An endless stream of thoughts in search of the meaning of existence removes him from petty, pressing conversations. His dislike of noise and loud voices is due to his particularly sensitive hearing. Remember: sometimes he needs to be alone with his ideas.

The rules for communicating with people of this type include limiting conversations “about nothing.” Get to the heart of the issue that needs to be resolved without being distracted by empty talk.

Touchy but fair people

We often come across people like this: they speak and do everything slowly, thoroughly, efficiently, even pedantically, and are very erudite. They like to talk about the past: “Where is the world going? Nowadays..."

Also frequent topics of conversation are family, home, making something with your own hands, justice. In general, they give the impression of honest, decent, open people, maybe a little simple-minded, but endearing. All these are qualities characteristic of.

Difficulties in communication

Owners of the anal vector are stubborn debaters, straightforward, ready to cut the truth without caring about the feelings of their opponent. Some may harass you with lectures or criticism. And if they are offended, they are unlikely to forget about it: they will not fail to remind you on occasion or even take revenge.

Owners of this vector gravitate towards justice and equality - everything should be smooth for them. And in relationships it’s like this: good things will be repaid, bad things will not be tolerated. If they themselves treat someone unfairly, they will feel guilty. When they were not treated as they should be, they feel it.

If such a person is offended by you, apologize, apologize - he will forgive, because in this case his internal balance will be restored. During a conversation, you should not rush him or interrupt him - it is useless, otherwise he will start again. If you want to please him, ask for his advice and competent opinion.

The ability to understand a person with an anal vector should not be superficial. It is also necessary to distinguish his condition - this can change everything. Who is in front of you: the best husband and father or a potential sadist? All the subtleties of the anal vector can be learned at the free online training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan.

Secretive people

There must be a lot of people around you who are of a different type: they speak briefly, succinctly, and generally don’t like to be frank about themselves - they would prefer to get information from you. The subject of their conversations is, one way or another, profit, benefit, their ambitions. For them, time is money. They can be very resourceful and adapt to changing conditions. These are representatives.

Difficulties in communication

If the owner of the skin vector is developed psychologically and is not in a stressful state, then he is organized, collected, and gives the impression of a real manager. Otherwise, not having sufficient self-discipline, but not losing the desire to limit others, he may throw in inadequate prohibitions: “No! You can’t!”, and when you encounter resistance, you can even make a row. He is no longer distinguished by composure and precision, but by flickering. The natural desire to save and optimize when the properties of the vector are underdeveloped or unrealized manifests itself in greed and pettiness, the pursuit of discounts and freebies.

If you were a victim of someone's deception or fraud, then the offender was most likely a representative of the skin vector in poor conditions. However, these same people are potentially born legislators and servants of order.

When communicating with owners of this vector, you should not go into details: they value their time. Topics for conversation include career, financial well-being, healthy lifestyle, sports, technical innovations, etc. Learning to understand people of this type will not be such a difficult task if you systematically know what motivates them.

Screaming doesn't help

You shouldn't yell at children. This is ineffective for many reasons. First of all, it’s your health and nerves, and a child especially at an early age will deliberately do something to which you react by screaming.

The child wants attention

when he behaves quietly, you don’t pay attention to him, but when he plays around and gets mad, you’re right there. Children immediately see how to attract attention.

Therefore, the best way to approach your child is to pay attention to him and reward him with praise when he does things you want, and when he does undesirable things for you, simply ignore it and not pay attention to the child’s pampering.

Don't call for nothing

When your spouse is at work, it is generally not advisable to call him

As a last resort, the reason for the telephone conversation should be really compelling
If you tear your loved one away from an important meeting to ask him what color blouse to go with his blue trousers, you risk causing him righteous anger. Finally, it is worth saying that you treat these tips exactly as advice, and not as some kind of set of laws.
First of all, you need to act as your heart tells you . And in family relationships it shouldn’t be any different.


You should not expect the manifestation of violent emotions and feelings from this man; rather, on the contrary, he is characterized by “cold”, restrained caresses. “Voenruk” treats any experiments, including sexual ones, with great caution. For such a man it is very important to have control over the situation. In sex, he prefers positions in which he can dominate. So if you decide to invite him to diversify your intimate relationships a little with the help of role-playing games, then it is better to choose the “subordinate” images of a schoolgirl or governess.

"The Tormenting Soul"

Such a man is constantly in doubt between “wants” and “injects”; he is very vulnerable. On the one hand, he is interested in trying something new, but on the other, he is always afraid that he may be misunderstood. Unlike the “military instructor,” the “rushing soul” man is very emotional in relationships and expects the same from his significant other. Your reaction to his efforts during intimacy is extremely important to him. In sexual relations, such a man needs to be mentally prepared in advance for innovations, while making him understand that you are not offering him anything indecent.

"Normal kid"

Whatever you do, whatever you suggest, the answer from this type of man will always be the same - “normal.” Even if in one breath you demonstrate to him 30 ways of oral sex and ask how he feels, the answer will also be “normal”, and not “mind-blowing, dear!” And the point is not at all that he is absolutely indifferent to what you do for him, it’s just that by his nature he is completely unpretentious and not very emotional, although he has nothing against experiments. This has its advantages. It will not be difficult for you to persuade your loved one to try a new sex position or a recently acquired sex toy; he is easily amenable to sexual training.


This man is the complete opposite of the “military leader”. In relationships, he prefers to give the dominant role to the woman. In bed, he is always ready to try something new, be it anal caresses and prostate stimulation, or role-playing games, where a woman is assigned the role of a strict mistress or a prison warden. You don’t have to be afraid to suggest experiments to him and be misunderstood, he will always support you in these endeavors, but be prepared for the fact that the initiative must come from you.


Definitely pumped up, with light two-day stubble, a la Jason Statham. For a “brutal” it is very important how he looks, so he often looks at himself in the mirror. Even during intimacy, it is important for him to see how his muscles “play” in the reflection of the mirror. In a relationship with a woman, a “brutal” man attaches special importance to how well his chosen one looks against his background. You need to be very careful with this type of man, because... “brutals” are big fans of looking for additional sensations somewhere on the side. It is, of course, possible to re-educate such a man, but it will take a lot of effort and time. However, among them there are also “humane brutalists” - in addition to paying attention to themselves, they always care about how comfortable their woman is during intimacy. If only to prove to yourself once again how good they are.


The most creative of all the listed types. Such a man never has a question about what to come up with to surprise his beloved in sex. With one touch, he can immediately touch all the erogenous zones of his other half. There is no need for him to have relationships with several women; one liberated companion is enough for him, with whom he could realize all his sexual fantasies.

The first thing you should do when meeting a man who recently divorced his wife is to find a special approach to him. Try to find out what exactly led to the breakdown of relations with his former significant other. This is very important, because you should not make such mistakes if you do not want to lose your new lover. Ask about what irritated the man about his ex-wife; maybe she did not behave quite correctly or could allow herself to commit infidelity. This way you can build the right line of behavior for yourself, which will help you adapt to the stronger sex.

Psychology and technology of everyday communication

What happens at the first moment of communication between acquaintances and strangers? You meet the person's eyes and an exchange of glances begins. A glance determines a lot; it is not for nothing that expressions such as “it became clear at first sight”, “love at first sight”, “disliked at first sight” are used in everyday life. If a person is open to communication, then his gaze will convey his intentions and good messages to the interlocutor without words. If a person avoids direct gaze, this causes wariness, serious mistrust or even antipathy on the part of communication partners.

If we want to approach a person, watch your gaze. During a conversation, you should not constantly look away to the side, linger for a long time on your hands, or look over the shoulder of your interlocutor. It may seem that the person is hiding something or not saying something.

After exchanging glances, the interlocutor will definitely “assess” you visually: how you move, your posture and gestures. If you behave freely and relaxed (not to be confused with relaxed), all your gestures speak of (you have a straight back, body and arms turned towards the interlocutor) and goodwill, then the interlocutor will be conveyed a feeling of calm, and he will tune in to a positive wave.

  • Find out and remember the name of the person you are going to meet, since a person’s own name is a very significant and important word.
  • Smile as often as possible, as smiling creates an atmosphere of happiness, goodwill and respect. A kind and sincere smile will create a feeling of calm, relaxation in the interlocutor and will cause sympathy for you.
  • Show genuine interest in the interlocutor and the problems that concern him. Perhaps this particular person you are talking to now will turn out to be a truly interesting and extraordinary person. So show your interest starting with a greeting.
  • Don't forget to wish your friends, colleagues and acquaintances a happy birthday. Have you noticed that a few days before your birthday you feel anxious? On an unconscious level, we worry whether friends and colleagues will remember this date. And if yes, then this congratulation will bring great joy.
  • Try to be a good listener, give your interlocutor the opportunity to talk about himself, because sincere attention is a great way to win over a person.

    Ask correct questions, answering which the interlocutor will not feel awkward and will answer them with pleasure.

  • During the conversation, be clearly aware of what interests and desires captivate your interlocutor, what he values ​​in life, and support the conversation on these topics. If you are an attentive interlocutor, you can easily find points of common interest with your interlocutor. Perhaps you have common views on certain things, have had similar experiences in business, and have similar future plans. The more similarities and points of contact you find, the easier you will find an approach to your interlocutor in the future.
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