How long does the relationship between a married lover and a married mistress last?

How to become the best lover of a married man - psychology

If you are also interested in this issue, then you first need to conduct a little research. Watch your husband, try to follow his conversation. Also use our following tips on how to recognize that your husband has a mistress:

Wallet. First, check his wallet in secret from your husband. Perhaps in it you will find a condom that your husband saved for the future, a note or a receipt from a restaurant or store in which the purchase of wine is listed. Each of these pieces of evidence will help you expose your spouse.
Mobile phone. If your spouse goes into the next room every time he calls, always puts his mobile handset on silent mode, and keeps his mobile phone only near him, then you should check his phone numbers, messages or photos. As a rule, men record their mistresses under a completely different name, for example, “Vasya office.” You need to take note of such names. Perhaps this will be a girl with whom your spouse is hanging out on the side.

We married for love, being students, always hungry, but happy. We got on our feet together, started earning money, decided to have a child, and then my wife never returned from maternity leave. This suited me - I hardly cared about the house and my son, my wife took care of all the issues. My role is to bring money plus be with my family whenever possible.

He just came to me to drink coffee and talk. I then thought that I didn’t love him, I just felt good with him, I felt protected with him and not alone! From him I learned that he had liked me for a long time and that he had been watching me and my life for a long time. The age difference between him and me is 11 years.

It’s not uncommon for a man to turn a girl’s head but keep silent about her marital status. When this fact becomes clear, she is already in love and cannot leave her beloved, becoming a hostage to the situation. The girl begins to feel inner dissatisfaction with her position as a mistress, which seems humiliating to her.

Child support for mistress

Advice from lawyers:

1. How can I apply for child support if I was a mistress and the child is not registered with the father?

1.1. You need to contact the district court at the defendant’s place of residence with a statement of claim to establish paternity and collect alimony. Without establishing paternity, there are no grounds for collecting alimony.

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1.2. Hello, Elena! In order to apply for child support, you first need to establish the paternity of the child in court.

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1.3. Hello! Only in court. To do this, you first need to establish paternity. The main thing is to correctly substantiate and motivate such a statement of claim on the basis of the norms of the RF IC and the Code of Civil Procedure of the Russian Federation.

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1.4. Good afternoon. In this case, it is necessary to protect the rights of the child and it does not matter who you were - a spouse or not. You file a lawsuit against the child’s father to establish the fact of paternity and collect alimony; you will petition the court to order a forensic examination to confirm the fact of paternity.

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2. My mistress wants to file for alimony, I already have two children. What to do?

2.1. In any case you will have to pay. Let the wife also contribute so that the amount is less.

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3. The husband has an illegitimate child, his mistress wants to file for alimony.

3.1. Nastya, I’ll answer your question. In accordance with Art. 49 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation - Establishment of paternity in court In the case of the birth of a child to parents who are not married to each other, and in the absence of a joint statement of the parents or a statement of the father of the child (clause 4 of Article 48 of this Code), the child’s origin is from a specific person (paternity) is established in court upon the application of one of the parents, guardian (trustee) of the child or upon the application of the person who is dependent on the child, as well as upon the application of the child himself upon reaching the age of majority. In this case, the court takes into account any evidence that reliably confirms the origin of the child from a specific person. The court orders a genetic examination, which will determine whether your husband is the father of his mistress’s child. After this, alimony will be collected from your husband. Ask more questions if anything is not clear to you.

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4. My ex-husband was never small in raising our child, he led a riotous lifestyle, found himself a mistress and left the family, I raised my daughter alone from birth, I filed for alimony, he didn’t work for a year, he couldn’t afford it financially, the court awarded he was paid alimony, he got a job and 50% of his salary was deducted from him, in retaliation he filed a PDN against me.

4.1. Irina, good afternoon. What is your question?

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4.2. Give such explanations and point out that this is slander. There is nothing to talk about here and nothing to worry about either.

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5. My husband left for his mistress, she filed for divorce and alimony. He doesn’t pay child support and doesn’t help in any way. The child is 13 years old. I went to the city with her and rented an apartment. I got a job, but I only have enough to pay for the apartment and a little food. I need to donate money to school, I need to put on shoes and clothes for the child. There are no benefits. We are from the village, no city registration.

5.1. If he does not pay alimony and has a debt: then 1-you can restrict him from driving vehicles - an application addressed to the bailiff, restrict him from traveling abroad, also a question for the bailiffs; 2 - collect a penalty in accordance with Art. 115 of the RF IC this goes to court, thereby increasing the debt; 3 - deprive of parental rights, with maintenance of alimony and the right to inheritance, this is to the court; 4 - bring to justice for non-payment of alimony, this is to the police!

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6. Could her husband’s mistress, without his consent, enter him as the father on the child’s birth certificate. There was no genetic examination, but she sued for alimony. How was the husband included in the document? And did he give his passport for this?

6.1. Elena, without his consent, no one will list a man as the child’s father. Sorry, that's how it is. The registration is made in the personal presence of the child's father, if the parents are not married. Just giving a passport is not enough for this. The child's father signs the documents stating that he is the child's father.

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6.2. There are 2 options - the husband himself recognized paternity in the registry office or paternity was established in court. For any of these reasons, the child’s mother has the right to sue the court to collect alimony.

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7. There are five children in the family, the mistress demands alimony for her illegitimate son, how much she will receive.

7.1. Hello! According to Article 139 of the Code of the Republic of Kazakhstan “On Marriage/Matrimony/ and Family”, alimony is collected for one child in the amount of 1/4 from all types of earnings and/or/ other income of the parents. The size of the share may be reduced or increased by the court, taking into account the financial or marital status of the parties.

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8. My husband’s mistress wants to file for alimony, paternity has been established. He and I are legally married and have two minor children. How can I reduce the amount of alimony.

8.1. If the woman has not filed a claim or application for a court order, then submit this application to the magistrate yourself. 1/3 of the proceeds will be awarded. The woman will have to file a claim in the district court and only 1/6 will be recovered. If he hides the fact of collecting alimony from a man and receives a court order for 1/4, then the man must cancel this court order, Art. 129 Code of Civil Procedure of the Russian Federation.

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8.2. Also go to court to award alimony to your children. Then he will pay each child 16.5% of income.

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9. I’m on vacation for up to 1.5 years, my husband’s mistress is also on vacation for up to 1.5 years. Is he obligated to pay her alimony for her maintenance if he pays alimony for the child.

9.1. Alimony is paid only to family members (former family members). If the husband’s “mistress” is not his ex-wife, then there are no grounds for paying her alimony for her maintenance.

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10. I receive 25% child support for one child. The husband's mistress filed an application for a child from her husband and demands 1/6 of all income. Will my child receive less than 25%? Thank you!

10.1. If the husband files a lawsuit to reduce the amount of alimony in accordance with Art. 119 of the RF IC, then yes, they can recalculate the amount of monthly payments. Sincerely!

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10.2. If the child is included in the birth certificate, then the requirement is legal, Art. 81 RF IC (1/3: 2 = 1/6). Just as you received 1/4 for your child, you will continue to receive it. No problems. To reduce penalties, you must file a claim, Art. 119 of the RF IC, but such claims are not satisfied by the court in 99.9% of 100%.

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11. 2 years ago my husband had a mistress. At the moment, she gave birth to a child, allegedly from my husband. The husband is not sure that this child is his, but he wrote down the fact of birth to himself. How can I be sure it is his child? She also filed for alimony. A court letter has arrived.

11.1. Only through genetic testing. If the fact of relationship is not confirmed, then paternity can be challenged in court.

Did the answer help you?YesNo

11.2. Hello! Paternity is disputed in court. The main evidence will be the results of a genetic examination Also on the basis of: RF IC Article 52. Challenging paternity (maternity) 1. The entry of parents in the birth register, made in accordance with paragraphs 1 and 2 of Article 51 of this Code, can only be challenged in court according to the request of the person recorded as the father or mother of the child, or the person who is actually the father or mother of the child, as well as the child himself upon reaching the age of majority, the guardian (trustee) of the child, the guardian of the parent recognized by the court as incompetent. 2. The request of a person registered as the father of a child on the basis of paragraph 2 of Article 51 of this Code to challenge paternity cannot be satisfied if at the time of recording this person knew that he was not in fact the father of the child.

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11.3. If you are not sure, then a claim to exclude the record of the child’s father must be filed and an examination carried out.

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Psychology of a married lover in relation to his mistress

That is, a married father is obliged to register his illegitimate child in the registry office in his name. Help the mother of your child with the preparation of other documents, if necessary, register your child (or at least arrange temporary registration for him). That is, to ensure that his illegitimate child is not disadvantaged in the right to education and medical care in relation to his children in marriage.

An experienced mistress knows that men do not accept commercialism, so she knows how to play in contrast. This is a very effective method. The author still shocks gentlemen by not allowing them to pay for themselves. At first, they are at a loss, wondering if they have hit on a feminist, but then they gladly call for a second date, because they realize that she will not require large investments.

Every woman who is in an intimate relationship with him runs the risk of becoming pregnant from someone else's husband. She must choose for herself whether to keep the child or have an abortion. Will my mother be able to provide for herself financially if she receives a refusal from her lover? Will the baby have a full-fledged family? This decision is not easy to make. You also need to decide whether it is generally necessary to inform your loved one about the upcoming event or not.

As practice shows, the majority of the stronger sex runs to their mistress, trying to hide from family problems. Even ideal wives who love and support their husbands, they manage to cheat, which causes complete misunderstanding on the part of the ladies. After all, it would seem, why do men need a mistress when he is completely satisfied at home?

Can a mistress apply for alimony?

As noted earlier, the presence or absence of marriage between the parents of a newborn baby does not matter. The most significant fact in this case is the man’s recognition of his own paternity. This can also be confirmed medically.

If a citizen was included in the birth certificate of his daughter or son, then the mistress has every right to collect alimony from him . To do this, it is enough to prepare a standard set of documents.

This is a corresponding statement of claim, an identity card (passport), a copy of it, a certificate of family composition and other important papers. The claim should be filed in court at the place of registration of the defendant. In this situation, every servant of the law will be on the side of the mother and will oblige the man to pay alimony monthly in the form of a certain amount of money.

Both parents should always take care of the child. And it doesn’t matter at all whether they are married or not. If he evades his direct responsibility, the would-be father may face the accumulation of alimony arrears. If it is never repaid, he will be held responsible.

From the information provided above, it can be concluded that the legal status of the two persons plays absolutely no role. Whether a marriage was concluded or a divorce was filed, who the baby’s parents are to each other - all this is absolutely unimportant.

If there is a child, but one parent refuses to live with him and take part in his upbringing, then regular provision of financial assistance for the needs of the child is required. Alimony will be paid for the maintenance of the child.

The mistress can claim that her former lover pays alimony for the common illegitimate child. For example, a man has a family, but has a relationship on the side. A child was born, with whom the father refuses to live.

In this case, the mistress receives the status of alimony recipient, after which she demands financial assistance. Women who gave birth to children outside of official marriage should think carefully: is it necessary to collect alimony at all?

After all, the payer may not be the most reliable, and after a few months he will simply stop providing financial assistance. At the same time, the citizen herself will no longer receive the status of a single mother. And only thanks to him is it possible to guarantee the acquisition of certain benefits.

In this case, you must definitely weigh the pros and cons. On the one hand, alimony funds have always been significantly larger than state benefits.

The financial assistance received can be used for the optimal life support of the minor. On the other hand, the parent (in most cases the father) who must pay child support can easily hide from fulfilling his own obligations.

To do this, just look at the sad statistics: unlike European countries and the United States, in the Russian Federation a fairly large number of people evade paying alimony. Consequently, the potential recipient will no longer receive the status that would make it possible to obtain at least minimal, but guaranteed benefits.

You also need to pay attention that removing the status of alimony recipient is not the easiest procedure. The current legislation establishes the principle of priority of child development. That is why a person who is not yet eighteen years old must be provided with at least minimal benefits.

The court may oblige the bailiffs to exert effective influence on the debtor. FSSP employees are unlikely to take action to oblige the payer to help his own child. Such small matters are often simply unprofitable for them. In addition, there is no guarantee that the elimination of one legal status will lead to the rapid acquisition of another.

Psychology of the connection between a married man and his mistress

Have you noticed that your spouse often returns from work a little drunk, even though he has never drank alcohol before?

For a conversation, it is advisable to choose a place where no one will interfere. Don't start a conversation:

With reproaches and accusations of getting pregnant.
Don’t put any moral pressure, because no one promised anything.
Don't rush, give it time. The gentleman needs to think about what to do next.

Every representative of the fair sex wants to create a full-fledged family, but she also needs to be prepared for bad developments.

When the wife can't handle it, the man finds a woman who can console/understand/caress/surprise the way he did months or years ago.

How to change from a mistress to a wife: a comment from a psychologist

Women are indignant: why do men need mistresses if they have an affectionate and caring wife? Many men take on a woman on the side, even if everything is great at home. How can we explain male inconstancy and why do husbands need relationships on the side?

I sincerely sympathize with those girls who, for various life reasons, agreed to a relationship with a married man, especially if he is their first love. Unaware of how such an affair can turn out, many women lose their best years in damaged relationships. It is truly sad to fall in love with a married man and willingly accept the role of a secret woman.

It happens that a girl meets a man, sympathy arises, but the object is not free. The further development of the story depends on the woman’s choice: the girl either abandons her lover or continues the relationship with him.

I advise women who come with the request “I want to end my relationship with a married man,” and I treat them with understanding. And I’ll tell you honestly, they all turn up in a broken state - loss of strength, lack of faith in the best, moral exhaustion, depression.

When agreeing to the role of a mistress, you need to understand that your loved one will also belong to his wife and children. A lover will never be completely yours. Husbands rarely leave their families because of their passions. But if you easily left your spouse, it’s worth thinking about the fact that once you become a spouse, you may soon find yourself in the place of your ex-wife.

The wife and mistress are always on opposite sides of the barricades, but when there is heavy artillery in the form of a child, what to do?

Relationships with a married man: imaginary advantages and misconceptions

Pros of being a lover:

the man is already well-fed and well-groomed, there is no need to worry about his new suit, delicious dinner and problems at work. Everything is ready for consumption;
washing, ironing and raising children together is so far away that it seems like a parallel universe;
an ideal option for an open relationship - a man does not need to worry about having to destroy his family, and a woman does not need to worry about a potential serious relationship;
a wealthy man can help his mistress financially without any problems;

Does a woman have the moral right to give birth to a married man?

I even deleted his phone number. HE called and wrote SMS, but I simply threw him out of my life - I felt sorry for his children, but, it turns out, I didn’t feel sorry for my son! My son and I now live together in a large apartment. Of course, maternity benefits are not enough, but the child does not need anything, I am ready to do everything for him!

Psychology gives several reasons why spouses decide to have a mistress:

Sexual dissatisfaction. As a rule, men's desires in this regard differ significantly from women's desires. After all, for them intimate relationships are considered an important process. But for women and girls, sex is not so important. It may even be at the bottom of the priority list.
In addition, constant fatigue from household chores also does not always cause sexual desire in women. In this regard, the mistress is considered a competitor for the wife and a very serious one. Dissatisfaction with sex and being busy can lead to the husband finding joy at work.

This was 5 years ago. After the loss of my loved one, I couldn’t look at other men at all for 2 years, although I always had enough fans!!! After some time, I met a young man who treated me well, but my relationship with him did not work out - I always compared him with my deceased husband, although I understood that this was not correct.

Hence, some girls will be desperate, others will use their pregnancy as a last resort to either force a man to marry themselves or leave the family.

Negative consequences of dating a married man according to your zodiac sign

If you believe in astrology, you can turn to the stars for help. Find out the Zodiac sign of your beloved man, and you can see what consequences of your relationship are most likely.

Aries

Stubborn Aries will be with you until the end, telling stories about a happy life together. Most likely, he also tells his wife about love. Be careful with him and keep your distance.

a lion

With the help of such connections, Leos prove their uniqueness and stroke their ego. They love to play with people for their own pleasure. Don't allow yourself to fall in love with the owner of this sign, otherwise he will steal your heart and faith in love. It's better to step back and let them conquer you.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius understands exactly what he wants. He will never change out of the blue - the decision has been thought through hundreds of times. Most likely, he loves you and will not exchange passion for family comfort with his wife. However, such questions are purely individual.

Taurus

A romantic Taurus will give you all of himself, give you gifts and charm you with incredible sex. Taurus rarely lie, but they do it skillfully. There is a high probability that the man will be devoted to you, but leaving the family is too difficult a decision for him. He understands that he is responsible to his family.

Virgo

Virgo does not like to cheat and does it only as an urgent need, when everything is completely boring. This fact allows us to believe in stories about a terrible spouse and a quick divorce. But don't get your hopes up too much.

Capricorn

Capricorns, like Leos, are the ladies' men mentioned above. They may have several mistresses, but they will not experience true feelings for any of them. Of course, Capricorn sometimes falls in love - he is a human being. Therefore, first, find out what exactly the representative of this zodiac sign feels towards you.

Twins

Geminis often lead a double life. They like to hide and lie, seem like a different person and seem to love someone else. For them, relationships on the side are a game and a release from family life. You should not completely trust and impose yourself on the twins. They can always find a new object to play with another person.

Scales

Libra soberly weighs the pros and cons before changing. They don't necessarily have to have problems at home. Perhaps the new passion is simply more profitable than the wife, so she is preferred. A relationship with a representative of the Libra sign will be full of amazing moments, but it is unlikely to last longer than a year.

Aquarius

Aquarius is looking for a soul mate. He usually cheats when his wife has moved away and the connection between them has faded away. It is important for him to share news and feel loved. If you give it, he will carry you in his arms. True, he won’t leave the family, but he will definitely give you unforgettable moments.

Cancer

Cancer is very faithful, because relationships with his mistress have a touch of love - he will not cheat just for the sake of physical gain. A representative of this sign is more likely to leave his wife than any other, since he has real and deep feelings for you.

Scorpion

Scorpio cares about quality sex, for which he is willing to cheat. In a relationship with a lover, this moment plays a key role. If you give him what, due to some beliefs and principles, his wife does not give, the relationship will last a long time. But don't expect a happy ending.

Fish

Pisces are kind and do not like to hurt anyone. Usually they endure for the sake of others, trying to hide their emotions. Relationships on the side end quickly and easily, even if they later regret it for the rest of their lives. Give the representative of the sign everything he needs - this is the only way you will keep him near you for a long time.

Why married men prefer married mistresses

Moreover, regardless of whether he wants it or not: women most often do not ask such men, or act against their will. Which also influences the high male mortality rate: for most married men, the understanding that their illegitimate child is growing up somewhere is a factor that increases the risk of depression, strokes, heart attacks, etc.

They don’t always take a mistress just for sex; more often men get bored with their wife, they want bright emotions that have faded (from the word “rotten”). And it is not surprising that when a man and woman start a family, they forget over time that love needs to be maintained, that it is constant mutual work. The territory of relationships is a place where you cannot be lazy.

It can be really difficult for many women to believe the fact that their marital problems have gone so far that the man has (or will soon have) a child on his side. However, the fact is that in this case the problem often lies with the woman. A man will not have a child on the side if he cheated for fun or to seek new sensations.

In the end, probably, the baby himself, when he gets older, will want to find out who his real father is and find him. In any case, there are many factors that can reveal to the wife of a traitor the fact of having a child on the side.

Whenever the fact that the husband has a child from his mistress is revealed, the wife of such a womanizer will inevitably ask the question, “What to do next?” A woman will have to make a decision based on her feelings. She needs to decide: a) whether it is possible to save the marriage; b) is she ready for forgiveness; c) how she feels about the child from her husband’s mistress.

The mistress’s task is to replace his wife and prove that she is the best and most ideal. But what should you not do if you want to maintain a good relationship? What mistakes should you not make?

In conclusion, to all of the above, I would like to add that any woman who is concerned about the question: “How to become a good lover?” should learn to be silent and listen more, and prefer languid sighs to boring phrases and moralizing. Also, one should not forget about a well-groomed appearance (stylish hairstyle, lace lingerie, stockings, high-heeled shoes).

Many wives are ready to put up with their husband's betrayal, so it is not so easy to provoke her to break up. A man sooner or later realizes that his mistress has gone too far, and his marriage is hanging by a thread. If you don’t want to lose your loved one, forget about the existence of his wife.

How to properly break up with your mistress for a married man{q}

Men cannot always be understood. They are always missing something. Sometimes a spouse takes a mistress despite the fact that he loves his other half. Why{q}

Wants to rest. The wife is a hostess and smart. But he is drawn to take a walk on the side. Why{q} The fact is that a man is not able to show weakness to his wife at home, to lay his own problems on the shoulders of his wife. But he needs relaxation. That is why he is trying to relax on the side.
Looking for an ideal. Many men get tired of everyday problems, and they stop idealizing their spouse. After all, from the very beginning she was the best for them. Over time, for her husband, she becomes an ordinary person who is full of shortcomings. This pushes men to search for the ideal woman on the side.

But you need to remember one more thing - only at first does a mistress appear in front of a man in beautiful outfits and with a beautiful appearance. This may also disappear, since the mistress is also a woman.

Husband's mistress

She also has an old robe at home, hidden in the closet. She also sometimes changes her mood, which at first she tries in every possible way to hide.

A man begins to see such shortcomings over time. But this doesn't always stop him. He simply finds another passion for himself.

The main reason why a man starts relationships on the side is dissatisfaction with sex. Sometimes it becomes very difficult for a husband to understand what to expect from his wife, who spins like a squirrel in a wheel of worries. If a woman has another job in addition to housework, then when she comes home, cooks dinner, feeds everyone in the household and washes the dishes, she doesn’t think about intimacy at all, but dreams of relaxation.

But a man, even after a hard day at work, is full of strength and energy, therefore, he wants intimacy. That is why he expects such pleasures from his mistress.

Man with his mistress

But such a connection also presupposes communication. If scandals and quarrels await the husband at home, then the mistress listens to the man and understands him. This also suits the man.

The love affair between a woman and a man can be very different. Some try to find the joy of life on the side, while others increase their own self-esteem.

And there are those who fall in love with a woman on the side. Moreover, in some cases, men can even divorce their spouses.

Married lovers

But why do some men try to have a married mistress on the side{q} What attracts them to such relationships{q}

In this case, both the man and the woman meet only for the sake of intimacy.
They do not need courtship and lengthy conversations.
They both feel quite calm. There are no unnecessary hysterics, scandals and misunderstandings.
Partners do not try to destroy each other's family idyll.
Couples do not give each other expensive gifts.
Such relationships end easily.
And most importantly, the relationship between a married man and a married woman is a risk, accompanied by a rush of adrenaline and a lot of positive feelings that cannot always be found in everyday life.

A man in love

Such an attitude is inherent in an owner and an egoist who, for the sake of his own convenience, is not interested in the feelings of his mistress. This attitude can arise immediately or develop over several years.

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This is also a sign that the man may have developed deeper feelings for his lover. But what holds him back is that he has a family, children, and a shared life.

A man doesn't let go of his mistress

Many people are interested in why a married man does not want to let his mistress go if everything is smooth in his family{q} Yes, everything is very simple.

He is simply comfortable - warmth and comfort awaits him at home every day, plus the attention of his wife. And with his mistress, bright emotions, strong passion and new sensations await him.

Why do many men love to have a permanent mistress and do not want to part with her{q} What role is assigned to the mistress{q}

A man's mistress becomes an ideal woman. She gives him affection and passion that a wife cannot always give. Her head is not filled with family problems, and therefore she is always glad to see her man, even a married one.
A man next to his constant mistress feels like a real macho. For him, such a position is considered prestigious, which will also raise his self-esteem.

A man's constant lover

A permanent lover does not require gifts and flowers to win. Over time, she begins to be satisfied with what already exists.
A constant lover can maintain love and warmth in a man, and also evoke passion and incredible sensations in him.
A permanent lover does not require commitment.

There are several reasons why men want to have a child with their mistress. They are divided into deliberate and rash. But this does not mean that he wants to spend the rest of his life with his chosen one on the side.

A man wants a child from his mistress

So, let's list the most common reasons why a man wants his mistress to give birth to a child:

A man wants to have a child with his mistress if he loves her very much.
If he does not have a child together with his wife.
If he and his wife have children, but they are already adults.
He just wants to “show off” his own mistress so that she does not put pressure on him with marriage and divorce from his wife.
He wants to tie his mistress to himself at the expense of the unborn child.

If a man wants to break up with his mistress, do it beautifully and not cause her much moral harm, he needs to think in advance about how to fill the void and vacuum that has created in the future.

Introduce your lover to a friend if you want to break up

The most common, primitive method of breaking up with a mistress is to meet a friend or acquaintance who can fully satisfy the woman’s needs, both moral and physical. If the void is not filled, then the abandoned lover will pester her former lover: she will start calling him constantly, asking him to meet, looking for random meetings in any convenient place and under any circumstances.

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What fate can await a mistress if she decides to throw in her lot with a married man{q} There is very little good here:

The mistress will have to come to terms with the fact that her man will spend most of his time with his family. That is, on holidays he will be with his family, and on weekends he will devote only to his wife and children.
Over time, the mistress will become attached and get used to the man. This may lower her self-esteem, and she will begin to understand that she will never be the one for him.

It's hard to love a married man

Married men rarely decide to divorce for the sake of their mistress. Most likely, she will not have a life together with her loved one in the future.
A married man, as a rule, feels his own obligations to his wife and children. Consequently, the mistress will be forced to adapt to her man and his daily schedule.

Is a relationship with a married man doomed or is there a chance?

Married men really look very attractive, they are well-groomed, confident and quite happy with life. Imagine, this is exactly what a single man should be like – confident and self-sufficient. But single people are not like that, right? That's why they don't attract.

As for what doesn’t bring you home, some people don’t even drive when they’re single, especially if they live with their parents (let’s say the first year of dating).

How men imagine an ideal wife:

she is an excellent cook;
maintains order in the house;
deftly manages and raises children;
she deifies her husband and never “nags” him in vain.

What is decent? He took the child from the girl’s family and does not allow him to see him. It doesn’t matter that the child has never seen him in 3 years, but his grandmother and aunt have been with him since birth. I don’t care that the baby lost his mother, and the mother lost her daughter, I don’t care that the wife hates the boy...

Why do married men need mistresses?

Many women try their best to keep their loved one near them, so they regularly check his things, read his messages and monitor him. If a married man has started a relationship with you, there is a high chance that he has chosen freedom of action.

After all, as a rule, at this age men have a girl on their side and not everyone is able to resist something new, bright and colorful sensations. Let's figure out together why men have mistresses and how to continue to live with it.

Regularly working with these situations, as a family psychologist, I am obliged to have a clear position on the entire range of related issues. I am not imposing it on anyone, and will simply inform my readers about it, as it may be useful to you.

With a “married man” everything is different. By getting married, a person takes on certain obligations, violation of which is fraught with condemnation and loss of reputation as an exemplary family man. Therefore, such men deliberately take on mistresses and carefully hide their extramarital affairs.

And so it turns out: my wife and I are like neighbors, don’t worry, dear. It’s just that we have a joint car loan, and she cooks deliciously and we live in her parents’ apartment... but I want a child with you, you are my beloved.

An affair with a married man can linger in a woman’s memory for the rest of her life. This is the memory of a relationship where you wanted a person who was not yours. An affair with a captive man only at first gives positive emotions, some joy and impressions.

Why do men have permanent mistresses?

In principle, there are many reasons for a man to have a permanent mistress. We will not list them. This has already been written and rewritten hundreds of times, why repeat it? Let’s talk better not about the notorious male polygamy and not about the fact that “oh, there is no mutual understanding and normal sex in the family, therefore...”. Such explanations of betrayal, by and large, are nothing more than attempts to fit the problem into some primitive scheme. In fact, not all men are notorious males, and not every one of them will dream of a mistress if there is no mutual understanding with his wife.

Some of those who happen to become mistresses are confident that a man will not go to the left, having an excellent wife. Alas, this is not true. No matter how perfect a woman is in all respects, she is not immune from the betrayal of her life partner. And again, not because “all men are tarred with the same thing.” It’s just that life, and with it people, is diverse. Human feelings are subject to changes and are like a swing - up and down, up and down. In a rare family this does not happen. And sometimes even in prosperous homes bad weather happens. The horizon of relationships is covered in clouds, thunder rumbles, lightning flashes, icy rain pours...

In this case, a woman can hide from the downpour under an umbrella for household chores. One way or another, her task is to preserve the hearth, and she is forced to take care of it, even if it is winter in her heart. A man is proud, and when they don’t invite him under the umbrella, he won’t ask to go there. He gets wet, freezes, and eventually goes to look for a place where he can warm up. And, of course, he finds it. There will always be a lonely lady ready to receive, dry and caress a tired traveler. All. Ready. The betrayal is obvious.

Well, okay, we'll say. If there was a scandal in the house that pushed a man into the arms of another, this can still be understood. The wife was unable to make concessions in time, her husband wanted human warmth, and here is a lonely, understanding, sympathetic woman. She doesn’t ask for anything, doesn’t expect anything from him, she will always listen and calm him down. Such a mistress is a refuge for a man in which he hides during family storms. But often husbands cheat even when scandals in the house are short-lived and quite rare! They go to the left, even if the wife is attractive, caring, smart. Why?

This is the other side of male infidelity. The reason for this usually lies in a man’s tendency to idealize women. There are not so few representatives of the stronger sex who dream of a beautiful lady, even in our pragmatic times. Such a craving for the ideal is formed in early childhood, and subsequently men unconsciously strive for it almost all their lives. Having met the one who later becomes his wife, they initially see in her almost the crown of creation. However, family life radically changes this idea. One day the husband realizes that his wife is an ordinary person. And she lives, not “breathing spirits and mists,” but just like everyone else - she eats, sleeps and needs to satisfy her physiological needs.

Anyone who dreams of perfection is disappointed by such a discovery. If a “beautiful stranger” happens to be nearby, she may well become a lover. And, as a rule, it becomes. It seems to the man that now he has really found the ideal. Still would! After all, he is not aware of all the intimate details of this woman’s life. The lady carefully prepares for dates, doesn’t even mention everyday problems, and doesn’t sneak around in front of him in an old robe. An unearthly creature, and nothing more! This is how an idealist will perceive his mistress until he understands that nothing human is alien to her either. Then he will be disappointed again and again begin to look for a beautiful lady.

It must be said that this type of male infidelity occurs quite often. And if a woman gets a husband who is looking for a beautiful lady, it will not be easy for her. In order for the beloved not to be disappointed, one must be perfect in everything. In principle, if you try hard, it is possible. But you can’t, if you live under the same roof, always remain an angel in the flesh! Anyway, sooner or later something human will appear. And who knows what the spouse will throw out after this. Maybe he’ll just withdraw into himself, or maybe he’ll set out to look for an ideal. Unknown.

OK. We seem to have figured out why men have beautiful mistresses. But it also happens that another woman is significantly inferior in appearance to her wife! Is this where the dog is buried? Traditionally, family relationships imply that the husband is the breadwinner, protector, and patron. And any normal man realizes this and tries to meet such requirements. But it is not always possible to comply. Either there is not enough money, then your career is collapsing, or you can’t solve some problem. A man ceases to feel his importance even if his wife does not particularly nag him and tries to treat everything with understanding. Because he feels guilty for what is happening.

And then suddenly a woman appears next to the man, looking at him with adoration and literally worshiping him. She doesn’t make any claims to him, doesn’t oblige him to anything, treats every action with delight... Well, how can you not become attached to such a person? A lady like this is like an antidepressant. The man is calm around her. So he dives from time to time into the hospitable hole of his mistress, who is always happy to see her hero. And here it doesn’t matter at all whether she is better in appearance than her wife or worse. The main thing is that the man is revered.

No, of course, very often men have mistresses because they are simply fresh and young, because marital sex is not satisfying, because the home environment is too tense - and so on. Such adultery has already been spoken about several times, and its reasons are clear and banal. Another thing is not entirely clear to us: why, having a constant mistress for a long time, do men quite rarely divorce their wives?