What to do if you love a married man? How long will it take for him to get divorced?

Why do spouses cheat?

There is no one, universal and suitable reason for breaking the marital oath of fidelity. Everyone has their own. But there are common similar motives that push people to cheat:

• lack of attention and care - spouses stop devoting time to each other for various reasons: lack of time due to children or work, as a result of which the desire to please the partner disappears due to the lack of feedback, etc.;
• sexual incompatibility is the most common reason, arising in early unions due to the lack of previous experience and the inability to talk frankly about what exactly the partner likes in bed;
• the dullness of everyday life and the lack of novelty - everyday life can absorb anyone, so some people plunge headlong into a whirlpool of passion, which gives their lives new bright colors and emotions, without thinking about the consequences.

According to psychologists, both partners are always guilty of treason: one for committing it, the other for allowing it to happen. Happy family men do not look for affairs on the side, they do not need this, because they like everything. But if everything is not going smoothly between the partners, they fail to find out or somehow improve the situation, the spouses may seek consolation, attention, love and affection in another person.

Where to find a good lover

Today, the easiest way for a married man to find a mistress is at work, in a bar, restaurant, nightclub, gym, on the Internet (on open or closed dating sites, interest forums, on social networks, using mobile applications). Each option has its pros and cons.

At work

In a bar, restaurant, night club

In the gym

In the Internet

The common disadvantage of all ways to find a single girl who is ready for an easy relationship on the Internet is round-the-clock access to online dating. In the absence of self-control and the ability to plan time, this takes up too much time, which negatively affects work and family relationships.

On open dating sites, interest forums, social networks

On closed dating sites

Using mobile applications

For a married man, this is the most convenient, safest way to have a good mistress:

• You can always keep your mobile device at hand so that you can use every free minute to find a suitable candidate and promptly respond to messages;
• no outsiders will view the communication history, as is often the case with a home or work computer.

Mobile dating apps have free and paid features. The pros and cons of using them are the same as on open and closed sites.

Is it worth saving a marriage if your lover asks for a divorce?

Statistics say that 90% of couples who experience infidelity break up. The remaining 10% manage to overcome this difficult time and save their family. When a new lover insists on a divorce and wants to make you his wife, or a mistress takes a man away from the family - in such cases, only every second couple develops successfully. That is, half of those who went to those with whom they had an affair in parallel with marriage are able to create a new family. The reason for failure may be a feeling of guilt, the lack of the spice of secret meetings, the charm of which people like so much after a long relationship with a regular partner.

The possibility of divorce appeared a little later than the opportunity to marry for love, namely about 300 years ago in the Russian Empire, as one of the results of the reforms of Peter the Great. Divorce is a way to improve and change your life. Sociologists conducted a survey among ex-husbands and wives in Europe and the USA; the main reasons for the dissolution of family ties in the 21st century are: financial independence of both, infidelity, alcohol or drug addiction of one of the partners, infertility or reluctance to have children, computer addiction and homosexual relationships.

When a third person intervenes in the family, it is difficult to maintain the same ties. If a mistress demands a divorce from his wife or a lover asks to leave her husband, it is the cheating spouse who must make the decision.

When the affair lasted a short time or the betrayal happened only once, and the unfaithful partner learned a lesson from the circumstances, understood why he/she cheated, what was missing in the marriage, and understood how to fix it - then there is a high chance that the family can be saved .

LOFT: here it’s easy for a married man to have a mistress

The LOFT mobile application is an opportunity to:

• find a person according to the required parameters (appearance, age, city, hobbies, goals) with minimal time;
• make acquaintances with foreigners;
• meet a suitable candidate live immediately after a short dialogue.

When you register for the first time, you can sign up for a free trial for three days, during which you are allowed to view an unlimited number of user accounts and communicate freely.

Strict moderation of photos and profiles ensures the absence of bots and fakes.

Profiles of potential kept women are freely available , while a married man is guaranteed complete confidentiality of personal information.

The support service works 24/7 and promptly resolves emerging problems.

The application does not have access to customer payment information, which eliminates forced debiting of funds. All payments are made only at the initiative of users, after mandatory confirmation.

If you buy premium access, you can actually find a good lover in a matter of hours: using a lot of additional functionality makes the search as efficient as possible.

What to do when your lover asks you to get married

Women are romantic natures, so new relationships always inspire, give strength and take a little away from reality at any age. Therefore, it comes as a shock to many when their lover begins to insist on divorcing her husband, invites her to marry her and talks about starting a new family with him. The situation is far from simple, delicate, and it is not always possible to share or consult with someone.

To understand what to do if your lover demands a divorce from your husband, you need to weigh the pros and cons:

• whether your lover will become a better partner than your current husband - first analyze what you don’t like in your husband, what is missing (what qualities or actions), and then give yourself an honest answer whether your new lover has all this and whether all his qualities will be always please you;
• will your new husband bring you happiness - often couples notice that they felt good only when they met rarely, hid, this added fire and passion to the relationship. But, having started a life together, people understand that this way of life is not particularly different from the previous marriage and therefore cannot be liked;
• relationships with children - will your decision to create a new family affect your relationship with your children, will your lover be able to accept and love them, will they like him and will you be able to establish contact between your children and your ex-husband;
• what will happen to your husband - have you really stopped loving him and are you ready to break ties with him, how hard will it be for him without you.

You shouldn’t delay making a choice either, because being third in a relationship is also difficult. A lover may also not like to be “in limbo” all the time.

The above considerations, plus or minus, are also valid for situations where a mistress wants a divorce from a man. Everyone knows situations when the mistress could not stand it, insisted on telling or told her wife about their relationship, and the couple divorced. Men like sharing their beloved even less, and they often take the first step - making their relationship public. For the second spouse, this news will be an unpleasant surprise, and it is better to inform him/her personally, especially if he/she is a good person and there is a possibility of a peaceful divorce. Nobody likes a long showdown, so it’s better to decide right away whether you are ready to go through the exhausting process of ending your marriage registration.

Reasons for a lover's silence

Of course, a lot depends on how long you have been together. If you’ve only been together for a week, perhaps you haven’t passed the “probationary period” and communication, in fact, is already over. If the connection between you is longer, your lover’s life is filled with many things besides you, which he has the right to do. To the experience of communication, you need to add intensity or openness, sincerity.

You are a close friend or an escort, they are frank with you or bed is the main scene of communication. Therefore, we can dwell on several reasons that may be characteristic of relationships with varying degrees of depth and duration.

• The lover is simply busy. Work, family, friends, maybe even on a business trip. And you are not a wife, no one will report to you, they will simply disappear, and that’s all. Don't suffer and wait it out. The main thing at this time is not to intrude and not to tire the man with your calls. Otherwise, temporary absence may develop into permanent absence.
• The passion has faded. If at first you saw each other often and for a long time, now you began to see each other much less often and not for long. Now your partner makes a date so rarely that you have time to forget that you are not alone. And time together passes so quickly that you don’t notice what it was filled with.
• You don’t have such a trusting and close relationship that anything other than sex could make him look for a reason to see you. And in those moments when there is no sex between you, what to talk about and for what reason to call? Tenderness, affection, care - this is all for the wife, at home, but here there is no need to even strain. After all, the meaning of the relationship between you is completely different, at least for the other side.
• I found another one. Just as the wife is not the only woman in the life of this Casanova, so you can become one of the series. Perhaps there were before you, now there will be after you. You need to be prepared for everything, because you knew about the polygamous relationship with your lover and already went for it. It’s just that now you are not number two, but a little lower on the list, in chronology or in priority.
• Family problems (child, wife got sick, got pregnant, mother-in-law arrived and much, much more)
• You are being raised. Perhaps you need to understand something, realize something, confess to something. Maybe you had a fight during your last meeting, and your partner believes that you are to blame and therefore expects a call from you, with a passionate apology and an invitation to a romantic dinner.

• You have been abandoned. If a man does not call or even write, most likely you have already been abandoned. And yes, no one will tell you for a long time that, supposedly, I’m leaving now, and no one will explain why and when your last date will be. He will simply delete the familiar number from his phone and stop calling. Just like that, once and for all. Well, or until the first necessity - suddenly you don’t want to look for someone else, but really want to communicate with someone who is not your wife. And most likely, he didn’t love you at all. If there was love, then at least a little he felt obligated to explain the situation and warn her not to wait, not to invent reasons for what could happen. At least out of politeness, at least via SMS. But if he didn’t love and decided to quit, does he really owe anything to anyone, in his understanding?

There is only one conclusion: if a man wants, he does it; if he doesn’t, it means he doesn’t want to at all. Therefore, straining, suffering, justifying your lover in your own eyes and in the eyes of those friends who are aware of intimate life is a troublesome and completely empty matter. In general, it doesn’t hurt to remember that he doesn’t owe you anything and only meets with you when he has an urgent need. Isn't this what the relationship between you is built on?

Legal aspects of divorcing a husband due to infidelity

Ignorance of your rights often leads to conflict situations. For example, your lover demanded a divorce and offered you his hand and heart, you agreed, then told everything to your husband. But the spouse threatens to sue all jointly acquired property in court, citing the fact of treason. The legislation in the Russian Federation does not indicate that the infidelity of one of the family gives the right to all the property of the other or monetary compensation.

Humiliated and offended spouses can blackmail by publishing information about infidelity. For the court to make a decision on divorce, it is not necessary to indicate the fact of infidelity in the application. In general, there is no such mandatory clause, and this will not affect the divorce process in any way. This does not affect the division of custody of joint children. Therefore, if you decide to change your life, be prepared for provocations, especially if your spouse does not like even the very thought of a possible end to the relationship.

Where to meet your lover?

A married man is strictly forbidden to meet mistress at home, even if his wife and children went on vacation abroad:

• a mother-in-law who has her own key can come without warning at her request (for example, to water flowers) - a loud scandal is inevitable;
• sooner or later the neighbors will notice her - there is a very high probability that one of them will report this to his wife;
• it is almost impossible to hide all traces of a guest’s presence - an attentive wife will notice a single foreign hair on the bed, and an accidentally (or not accidentally?) hairpin forgotten on the bedside table.

For a long-term love affair, it is advisable to rent housing.

For short-term secret meetings, it is better to look for rented apartments with an hourly rate, rent rooms in motels, hotels.

Who to choose, husband or lover

Families break up regardless of how long they have been together - 5 years or 35. Husbands, unlike women, often choose a lonely girl for an affair.
According to their logic, if she likes to cheat on someone else, then he will like to cheat on him too. Therefore, in very rare cases, husbands leave and create new families with other people's wives. When a mistress demands a divorce, the unfaithful spouse thinks more soberly and makes a decision faster than a woman when her lover demands a divorce from her husband. To decide to start a new family with your lover, you should make sure that this man is better than your previous husband, that he is more suitable and capable of making you happy. You don’t have to immediately run to the registry office with an application for divorce; first, you can try to live with the subject of your passion and understand how much you like him in his new capacity.

Which lover is better - young or older?

Girls under 25 are often eccentric, capricious, difficult to control, can easily throw a tantrum out of the blue, and require constant attention. Such a mistress is ideal for thrill-seekers, but there is a high risk that she will look for any opportunity to take the place of her legal wife.

At the age of 25 to 30, girls are more balanced, calm and reasonable, and agree to follow the established rules. Therefore, having an extramarital affair with them is less dangerous than with very young people .

Women over 30 are sexually relaxed and clearly understand their role in the life of a married man . In addition, there is always something to talk about with them, you can even get practical advice on everyday issues.

How to feel calm and forget about your conscience?

Many married men who have extramarital sex are tormented by remorse. Here are a few ways to get rid of them:

• my wife pays little attention to me, so I have every right to start a relationship on the side;
• I earn enough to allow myself to spend money as I see fit;
• after dates I’m in a great mood - this makes the whole family better;
• I don’t have any special feelings towards another woman, sex is a simple physiological need;
• I carefully hide my love affairs, so I don’t hurt my wife;
• An affair with my boss opens up for me the prospect of rapid promotion - this means a significant increase in the family budget.

If can’t find

What a married man should not do in a relationship with his mistress

In order not to have problems because of his mistress , a married man cannot:

• to say that the relationship between them can develop - a woman deceived in her expectations is capable of taking cruel revenge;
• allow one to leave “traces of passion” on one’s body – scratches, hickeys (no comments!);
• talk about his family life, answer questions about his wife - the information received can be used to destroy his marriage.

Is the situation getting out of control? We urgently need to find a delicate but effective way to return the relationship to the established framework.

Is it possible to have an affair with your wife's friend?

look for a mistress among your wife’s friends for the following reasons:

• they can tell her about her husband’s attempts to have an affair - this is a guarantee of a major domestic scandal;
• if one of them accepts the offer, sooner or later the secret will become apparent - most women do not forgive double betrayal of loved ones. If after this the family still remains, there will never be real happiness in it;
• in the case where the betrayal remained a secret, but the relationship ended ugly (the woman began to demand too much, she was able to find the best option for herself), you will have to see the unpleasant person for years.

There is nothing better than having an intimate relationship with a friend’s wife or neighbor.