And why do I need this?
I was a very unconventional fatty - I didn’t go on diets, I didn’t cover my head with ashes because of my fatness, and I didn’t plan to lose weight.
What for? It is clear that a slender girl, having gained extra pounds, strives to regain her former volumes. She remembers how it was before and feels how it happened after. I had nothing to compare with - I’ve never been thin. The extra pounds, I must say, fit me quite harmoniously, so I didn’t seem disgusting to myself. Yes, two marriages in a row, and a lot of fans confirmed the fact that I was beautiful. There wasn’t a single person in my circle who would say: “You’re getting fed up, my dear! It's time to lose weight." That is, there is absolutely no motivation to lose weight.
Article on the topic Don't spread out! How to maintain your figure in adulthood
So, the top three tips that help you be slim, happy and beautiful
The first tip is love and sex.
Love and sex promote weight loss. Where there is love there is sex. Everyone knows about the benefits of sex: it lifts your mood, gives you a flow of energy, increases your activity and speeds up your metabolism.
A kind of dietary love that deprives us of both peace and weight. This happens due to a decrease in some hormones and an increase in others. Therefore, if you fall in love, weight loss is guaranteed.
But what kind of love makes you lose weight, happy or not, is another question. It’s not for nothing that they say that to each his own. Some people lose their appetite because of love, but for some people their appetite does not disappear because of love, but becomes even better.
So let's figure it out. If we put aside romance and look at the state of falling in love from a physiological point of view, then this is a biochemical process, a kind of explosion of hormones.
Scientists conducted research and found that at the initial stage of a romantic relationship, many girls lose two to five kilograms.
Love weight loss tips
Well, firstly, to please your partner, and since the level of joy hormones serotonin and dopamine decreases. It’s not for nothing that they say that a person pines for someone.
Therefore, at the initial stage of falling in love, we lose our appetite due to an increase in the stress hormone adrenaline.
But when the relationship becomes stable, stress hormones fall, the level of oxytocin, the love hormone, increases, and this makes many girls, on the contrary, gain weight.
Let's then figure out what you need to fall in love with or lose weight first?
Still, I don’t believe that a man can fall in love with a certain number of kilograms. It's one thing when you were slim, and then for some reason you gained weight. But it’s very difficult to make a man fall in love with you when you have a baggage of kilograms.
Let it be better life experience and age than extra pounds. So take a closer look, find a worthy candidate and fall in love. Well, if you have been married for a long time, fall in love with your husband again.
So we fall in love, love and lose weight. So let's move on.
How to avoid gaining weight and stay in shape?
Second tip for losing weight.
Have a glutton day every week. To feel happy, do not deprive yourself of pleasure and joy hormones.
Observe the following rule. Eat whatever you want, but only 1 day a week.
The mere fact that there is no prohibition, you can eat your favorite dishes, fried potatoes, liver pies, stewed chicken legs, and so on.
home weight loss
This rule works, tested and proven by doctors. During the week you adhere to proper nutrition, choose 1 day a week, say Friday, or let it be the weekend to treat yourself to goodies.
And if you know in advance the day when you were invited to a party or birthday event. Then keep that day in reserve so that you can afford whatever you want.
But what if you have 2 or 3 events a week?
If you couldn’t resist and allowed yourself too much for 2 or 3 days in a row. Then next week you don't relax. Because this rule only works once a week. Otherwise you will gain weight.
And if you need to cope with temptation at a delicious banquet, then there is the following advice.
Moscow changes
I moved to Moscow at a fairly mature age - at 34 years old. And started everything from scratch. That's when love hit me. Literally like in Bulgakov’s novel - she jumped out from around the corner like a murderer with a knife. And everything started spinning in some kind of frantic rhythm... Divorce. Living alone and waiting for the object of my passion to decide on his feelings. Wild experiences. And against the backdrop of all this, a sudden attack of pancreatitis forced me to radically reconsider my diet.
Since then, the basis of my diet began to consist of boiled buckwheat, boiled skinless chicken breast, cucumbers and tea with sugar. Yes, and cookies - I ate no more than five or six a day and only after meals, for dessert. In eight months, eating this way, I lost 25 kilograms: from my ninety, only sixty-five remained.
I'm fat, but it wasn't always like that
Until the age of 27, I wore Russian size 44, had a completely conventional figure (and was constantly afraid of getting fat, but more on that another time). Then psychotherapy ended in my life (and I let go a little in terms of appearance), a host partner appeared (I let go more), because of the move, active physical activity disappeared, and because of freelancing and a depressive episode, any load at all disappeared. A couple of years later I wore size 52.
Fortunately, I didn’t eat my brain with it, but seeing a fat body in the mirror instead of a thin one was unpleasant.
Awareness of the social nature of this “unpleasant” did not help. Having no health problems didn't help. The advice to “love myself for who I am” didn’t help either (they never work alone, let’s be honest). And then I spent two weeks in a remote Odessa village, where the Internet was not enough even for pictures (I liked the text FB!), there were no advertising banners around, no store windows with slender mannequins - continuous steppe and grandmothers with granddaughters.
And somehow, seeing my naked reflection in the mirror, I suddenly realized: damn, I can’t see my huge belly anymore! I just see my stomach.
Then I turned my back to the mirror. And instead of terrible folds of fat, I just saw my back. It was pretty cool and lasted exactly a week after returning to St. Petersburg. But I liked it so much that I decided to imitate the Odessa village in my personal world (to create a beckoning world, as they say on Twitter about such practices). And I did it! There are still “bad days”, but most of the time I just live in my fat body and I’m okay. True, I didn’t turn off the pictures, but I changed their content. And I did all sorts of other things that I want to tell you about today. Maybe it will help someone!
Asya Kolsanova
Volitional retention
I was losing weight not only from my changed diet, but also from being in constant neurosis.
As a result, the minimum weight that the scales showed me was 61 kilograms. But it was absolutely uncomfortable. At this moment, fate had mercy: my personal life finally entered the stage of certainty.
And a new problem arose - how, against the backdrop of a calm family existence, can I not eat back everything that I threw away? Now I had to turn on my will. And completely consciously keep yourself within reasonable dietary limits. And walk. And sign up for fitness.
All this bears fruit: the weight is fixed at 66–67 kilograms. And it doesn’t crawl any further. As a result, I have maintained my slim figure for almost three years and plan to continue in the same spirit.
Seven steps to ideal. We sculpt a beautiful figure Read more
How I accepted a new body: utilitarian advice
I was looking for my own style
- For what?
Clothes are an extension of the body, what else can you say!
- How?
A stylist friend sorted out my wardrobe and in the process taught me to ask myself a simple question: do I like this thing? It was truly a transformative moment. Now my closet is full of soft, comfortable, wrinkle-resistant clothes in two colors. I continue to learn: I order a bunch of clothes online and return two-thirds. But the further I go, the more happy I am with my clothes, and it’s awesome.
Shaped the information space
- For what?
It’s hard to accept yourself as fat when the noosphere tirelessly mumbles “you are what you weigh.”
- How?
I started clearing my feeds of fatphobia (fat - fat - Ed.): when I saw a post in the spirit of “body positivity is laziness”, I disfriended the person or hid his posts from the feed. I started complaining everywhere about the unpleasant phytony advertising (God, it’s so nice every time!). I tried to protect myself from auto-fatphobia: when unfamiliar women began to especially hate their bodies (for obvious reasons, there is a lot of such content in women’s communities - and I don’t read others), I quickly scrolled through their posts. Well, I reminded myself more often that BMI is crap (https://t.me/etonesova/230).
Created new optics
- For what?
Beauty and the visual norm are socially determined things. I wanted to create a new environment where the familiar and beautiful would be closer to me.
- How?
I made myself two boards on Pinterest: “body” for folds pin.it/vgv6u7dbnqjknm and “thick and beautiful” for clothes pin.it/dgsnpjeqmjlxiw. The algorithms there are great at recommending similar things. I subscribed to body positive Instagrams that I personally liked (marielle.elizabeth, fatarthistory, kitty_and_vibe, shooglet) I started looking at collections of clothes on sites like ASOS, where there are a lot of live fat models with stretch marks and cellulite.
Used body practices
- For what?
They provide contact with the body. I often see the advice “love your body for what it gives you.” Of course, you can’t love anything by order, but these practices help you see the wealth of possibilities and shift the focus from the appearance of the body to its function.
- How?
I found a dance that suits me and body positivity perfectly: solo blues. I started practicing meditation (I highly recommend the Insight timer app and specifically Valery Veryaskin, he is not only an amazing instructor, but also remembers that in addition to his students, he has female students). I went to body-oriented psychotherapy.
Reflected
- For what?
I wanted to rebuild my brain, which was devoured by fatphobia!
- How?
I tried to notice the diet culture. It’s not difficult, she, bitch, is everywhere - from recipes (go find a cake recipe without a preface in the spirit of “you can work off those calories at the gym”) to descriptions of cosmetics (everywhere there is confectionery design or fragrances, they will say something about “harmless sweets”) . She said out loud and without judgment that I was fat. I even wrote about it on my Instagram profile! I subscribed to the channel of the stylist Yanina Tsybulskaya “Cut your legs”, after reading for a long time it perfectly clears my head, reminds me that clothes are for joy, and my ass in leggings does not touch strangers. Be careful: there are controversial posts and hate speech (aggressive statements - Ed.).
Stay slim
I have several of my own secrets for staying slim - I can share them.
- Keep a diary. But not a food one in which you will record the number of calories you eat. And emotional. Literally: “I was offended at work - I came and ate some cake.” This way you will understand what emotions lead to what food crime. And you can avoid it. In just a second I can determine why I want, say, fatty and spicy meat. And instead I sit down to watch a horror movie. That is, I don’t eat my emotions.
- Eat delicious food. With any nutritional system, leave at least something on the menu that brings joy to your taste buds: eat something tasty, but harmful to your figure, only after the main meal. And a tiny portion.
- Don't be manipulated. Eat so as not to offend your mother. Eat cake with your girlfriends to show that you are together. Let this not happen in your life. You are an adult and know how to politely say no. So you say. Or come up with any story so as not to offend a person and not to eat something forbidden.
- Don't obsess over food. Don't subordinate your life to nutrition. Let food simply become a function that helps you keep your body alive. And a little pleasure when you eat a tiny bit of your favorite dish. Gradually you will begin to look for other joys. And, what is typical, you will find it!
Where will we make the waist? How to reduce belly fat Read more
Elena Baykova, psychotherapist, specialist in eating behavior correction:
— In principle, the heroine managed to lose weight on a completely healthy diet: chicken is protein, buckwheat is complex carbohydrates, cucumbers are vitamins and fiber. Maybe only the cookies were superfluous, but in a state of stress they successfully burned out.
The fact that a woman manages to maintain weight for such a long time deserves respect and approval - everyone who loses weight knows that this is the biggest problem. But there’s nothing to complain about here either, the heroine does everything right: she doesn’t overeat and gives herself active physical activity. So, I believe that she will definitely not return back to her 90 kilograms.
How to love your body if it is far from ideal
Everyone is familiar with the situation when you start to lose weight by resolutely banning yourself from a number of your favorite foods, and then you break down and reproach yourself for being weak-willed. Or when you force yourself to go to workouts you don’t like, and by the end of the week you feel weak or get sick. Every cell in the body resists weight loss. Most people who lose weight wage a desperate struggle with themselves - they hate their own body, thinking that cruelty and violence will lead to results. But this leads to extreme stress, and stress is not the best assistant in losing weight.
An organism experiencing stress begins to save resources - it gives less and stores more. Stress introduces an imbalance in a number of important hormonal processes, leading to physical and psychological ill health. By loving yourself, you will reduce stress, achieve results faster and be able to enjoy life.
Signs of self-love
Imagine that there is an adult and a child living inside you. The child wants to enjoy and be happy, and the adult wants to take care of the baby. The child, like all children, is prone to fidgety excesses. But when an adult announces: “Now no games, forget about sweets, do what I say,” the child resists. Loving yourself means allowing these two to agree. All parents know how to negotiate with their children. Explain that you need to wear a hat in the cold or that sweets will hurt your teeth.
Do you know that:
- To lose weight, you will have to give up less important activities for the sake of a significant goal. Is candy more important than feeling light and slim?
- Training should be fun. Have you noticed that when you don’t like sports, you are reluctant to do them. Find something that will bring you pleasure and results!
- Nutrition should be balanced, tasty and healthy. Have you noticed that the more sweets and fatty foods you eat, the stronger your appetite, the higher your weight and the more skin problems you have. Why are you harming yourself?
- Low self-esteem, comparison with others, focusing on shortcomings and constant reproaches spoil the mood. Why are you trying to punish yourself?
Learn to negotiate. You will have to remove harmful foods from your daily diet, but you can enjoy the taste of your favorite dish during a free meal every 1-2 weeks. Tired of cardio equipment? Try strength training, swimming, dancing, or exercising at home. Search! Any activity is better than no activity. Let the “child” play his favorite games, but remain a caring parent - feed him tasty and nutritious food, and most importantly, do not compare him with other children, do not shout about shortcomings and do not reproach him for minor offenses.
Practical steps to restore love
How does self-dislike manifest itself? In the absence of connection between mind and body. Few people consciously harm themselves, but most people who lose weight have a broken connection with their body - they harm themselves unconsciously.
What does it mean that there is a communication breakdown?
- Excessive demands, for example, to urgently lose weight - you do not know the real capabilities of your own body.
- Fear of products and breakdowns is a sign of self-distrust.
- Inability to read your body's signals, for example, you do not recognize the feeling of fullness, and you confuse fatigue with hunger.
- Constant reproaches and comparisons indicate self-rejection.
Understand a few things:
- Your body says nothing about your personality. It seems thick and awkward to you, but you know people who love you, not your reflection in the mirror. They love you, why can't you love?
- Weight doesn't say anything about you. Weight is not static. Today the scales will show one number, and tomorrow another. Weight can be changed, you do it. Why worry?
- Your weight does not reflect the quality of your body. He may be big, but his body is strong, flexible, resilient. It stores the genetic code of your family. Capable of experiencing pleasure, fatigue, pain, and producing offspring. You don't need to change it, just strive to become better.
What should be done:
- Learn to read signals. While eating, while working out, while watching a movie, at work, ask yourself: “How does my body feel right now?” Try to abstract yourself for a moment and scan it from the tips of your toes to the top of your head. Work your way up, focusing your attention on each area.
- When eating, do not rush, eat slowly, ask: “How full am I?” When the thought of eating arises, ask: “How do I feel? Hunger, thirst, stress, boredom?
- Stop comparing yourself to others - you won't become them. Form your own, not an imposed, ideal of yourself and strive for it.
Self-love goes hand in hand with caring. Loving yourself means doing everything for your own development. Developing new habits, physical qualities, improving health and well-being, and the ability to enjoy life.
Love yourself, you deserve it.
Author: Ekaterina G., nutritionist, fitness blogger (especially for) Copying this article in whole or in part is prohibited.
Where to start changing your attitude towards yourself?
I have been knocking on these doors for quite a long time, but I understand that few people dare to open me, because the distorted stereotypes of love are very strong and you need to start from the other end.
You need to find that moment in the past, that time when someone told you that they take care of themselves and accept themselves - selfishness.
That you need to take care of others first, and only then of yourself.
And yet, once upon a time, you were told that in some ways you are not what you should be, and you only need to look up to the opinions of others.
It is difficult to cope with this issue on your own, so I offer my help, and I offer it today.
Recently. I conducted a seminar, and during it, the participants took a trip into the past and looked at who “helped” them to have a negative attitude towards themselves and their body.
The topic of the seminar is “Why are you unhappy with your body?”
The exercises given at the seminar will help you take the first steps towards accepting yourself and your body.
In fact, self-love and care will not suddenly arise in 1.5 hours - it is work, and if you are ready to make independent efforts after the seminar, then your work will be rewarded and your body will respond.
If you normally perceive the idea of caring for yourself, about your own health, then in this case, a slim figure is not far off, but almost nearby.
And here you just need to understand one simple thought: when you really love yourself and take care of your health, the issue of overeating will never arise in your head or in your eating behavior.
I won’t write about this for a long time, purchase a recording of the seminar at a symbolic price, and get from me the opportunity to say goodbye to rejection of yourself and your body.
How to love and accept your body?
I'm not talking about love as such, but a positive attitude is acceptance of what is.
How will this attitude towards yourself help?
There are certain laws in our behavior, and they are embedded deep in the subconscious: if we don’t like something, we push it away from ourselves
If we like something, then we bring it closer to ourselves. You can think about it now, remember some unpleasant things, you avoid them by any means, and remember something pleasant - you want to feel this pleasant as often as possible.
The same thing happens with your body - if you are unhappy with it, it is unpleasant to you, then in this case you do not hear what it is trying to convey to you, you do not hear the signals that your body sends you (signals of satiety or physiological hunger) .
What happens when you are happy with your body? You begin to find contact and feel what your body needs, and accordingly, you give everything it needs.
Positive attitude towards yourself and your body
But how can you move towards this positive attitude? I’m not even talking about love yet, at least just accept it and stop pushing away.
In my opinion, as a person is taught, so he will act, because society and family instill basic views and beliefs about life, about people and, naturally, about themselves.
Do you consider yourself fat and your body ugly? Yes?
But in some countries, slender people are considered sick, ugly, almost ugly, and only a woman weighing at least 100 kilograms will be married.
How do you feel about excess weight?
Attitude towards oneself depends largely on the opinions of others, and few people have the courage to have their own opinion about themselves and their body.
Naturally, you have to live among people and be like others, so as not to stand out and not draw unnecessary attention to yourself.
I think that you can change your attitude towards yourself and your appearance, stop hating yourself and reproaching yourself for your excess weight.
Stop hating, accept, and at the same time continue making efforts to lose weight.
There is a misconception that if I accept myself and my body, then in this case I will never do anything at all and will become fat.
You know, it sounds kind of stupid if you think about it.
After all, you are an adult, you have a head on your shoulders, and you begin to act like a child and fulfill some of your childhood fantasies. Remember what children want to eat for lunch and dinner? Sweets - ice cream and cake, and all that.
Or let’s say it’s raining, and you put rubber boots on your child so that he can walk through puddles; naturally, the child won’t climb out of the puddles, that’s why he’s a child.
Transformation through Love and acceptance of your body
Over the past 10 years, I have attended many seminars, webinars, trainings, courses - all looking for answers for weight loss and personal growth. But I never found the most important thing - my own natural wisdom of body and soul!
Without this wisdom, knowledge loses its value! Therefore, it is very important for us to connect everything we learn to the wisdom of our body! And this is available to each of us! Understand, live, feel! To hear what the body is screaming at us under the mountains of toxins, blocks, complexes.
Organic Woman online course
Even more revelations, discoveries and insights from Katya Plotko in her course. Find out how to start living in harmony with the world and with yourself, without illusions and rose-colored glasses, but with strong inner support and support!
More about the course
Nowadays it is extremely rare to meet a woman who truly loves herself, trusts herself and respects herself. Which takes every piece of the precious body 100%! And thanks the Almighty for the opportunity to be in this body.
And I didn’t accept myself for almost my entire conscious life...
After my parents passed away, I lived in different families, and each had its own traditions. Somewhere I was forced to eat cauliflower, and I couldn’t leave the table until I ate it, somewhere there was poverty, and with my grandmother’s pension we bought chicken legs and ate enough of them for a month, without even thinking about what fed the poor chickens.
There were also times when there was absolutely nothing to eat: I baked flatbreads from flour and water, since there was not even butter in the house.
I ate large quantities of sugar, gluten, industrially produced milk protein, biting and overeating.
I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT MYSELF and about healthy eating.
So the years passed until one day I saw from my window, where I often sat on a wide windowsill and dreamed of a beautiful life, a beautiful woman who walked with a light gait with bags in her hands. Her grace and beauty magnetized my gaze... I couldn’t tear myself away, looking at her clothes, shoes, bags of food...
And then I saw juicy vegetables and fruits in these bags! They literally fell out of her hands, it was so harmonious and natural that it seemed as if she had stepped off the pages of a glossy magazine or come from Hollywood. Then to me, an ugly duckling teenager, it seemed like magic! And I clearly remember how it was at that moment that I planted the first seed in my consciousness, from which a luxurious green tree with a green crown has now grown.
The path was long and difficult! I got fat, lost weight, got fat, lost weight... I starved myself, then with tears I found myself near the refrigerator with a belly stuffed to capacity. Yes!! It was me! And I’m not ashamed to share this, since it’s a big part of me! The old me, thanks to which I became the current one and can share my experience and knowledge with you, dear ones!
And when I managed to consolidate the result of a thin, athletic girl, I was not satisfied with it.
I still didn’t fully like myself in the mirror, and my mood depended on the extra 100 grams on the scale.
Until one day I woke up thanks to the fact that women began to appear in my environment who were not ashamed of their figure, who were in love with themselves!
Not from a state of ego, but from a state of respect and trust in yourself! They moved freely, danced, sang, I saw how free their bodies and souls were! Their bodies were far from perfect, but their self-confidence could not leave anyone indifferent! It is this internal message that gives an idea about a person. With confidence and self-love, even the most homely woman can gain admiring glances.
And then I began to understand that the body is my best friend, my precious partner, my temple of the soul! Thanks to my body, I can enjoy life, help people, create new things in this world, travel, give birth to children, make love, see rich colors, inhale wonderful smells, dance, shine, inspire, and my list is endless!
Step by step I came to love myself and accept my body as it is!
I finally became convinced of friendship with my body during my first pregnancy! I gained a tremendous experience of transformation from a dry, fast ant into a beautiful, gentle butterfly.
My body has become more rounded, feminine, smooth! And it was this transformation that finally awakened me! After all, this body gave birth to a new soul! She carried her, gave birth and nursed her! An invaluable experience for any woman!
Then a second soul came to my husband and me, and the second pregnancy made me even more feminine and soft. I have already forgotten what abs on the stomach and bones on the hips are :-))))
But despite the fact that my body now has a different shape, it is 7 kg more beautiful compared to my usual weight, it is much more loved and healthier!!!
Every day when I oil my body, I look at it and give it compliments! They are pouring in! They are real!
My digestion is good, I haven’t been sick for 4 years, I sleep great, my body is resilient, strong and flexible!
My body always knows that it wants to eat, I listen to it and hear it! I can safely say that I love and accept myself as I am here and now! And I sincerely wish each of you to find this magical state!
Thanks to this state of abundance, which is called “Soma” in Ayurveda, amazing projects and my life’s work came into my life! Opportunities came that I was able to accept while in an energetic, healthy state!
But just imagine how many opportunities we miss when we are in a state of exhaustion. How many of the most magical things pass us by... It’s as if we live our lives on autopilot, not realizing the gifts of the Universe! Do you need this kind of life as a sad robot? I think no!
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