Stellar experience: how to become happy after divorce?
Each of them is famous and popular. Everyone has experienced a difficult divorce. Each one today, after a while, is grateful to her “ex” for the fact that he once betrayed her. Ten stories of completely different women. Ten stories that give hope: after a breakup, everything is just beginning!
Nicole Kidman: not by Tom alone
Always together, but she is somewhere on the side and a little behind. Happy and smiling, although somewhere at the bottom of her eyes there is a stamp of incredible sadness. This will become clear to everyone later: they were never a harmonious couple. But then, during the brilliant walks along the red carpet at the Oscars, the audience sighed enthusiastically: how good! Nicole Kidman herself also believed that Tom Cruise was given to her by heaven. “I was ready to run to the ends of the earth for him,” she says today, years after their divorce. Neither Nicole nor Tom ever talked about the reasons for the separation. But from Kidman’s dull eyes it was clear how difficult it was for her to break up with her husband. And after some time, suddenly everything in her life changed. The directors suddenly saw her acting potential, she received the long-awaited Oscar, met the man of her dreams and gave birth to a daughter. In a word, she found everything that she never had during her marriage to Tom Cruise. Today, the actress is happily married to folk musician Keith Urban. “My life changed dramatically after meeting him. He is a wonderful, caring man, we try to never be apart for long.” She finally became a mother - and yet ill-wishers insisted that Nicole was infertile. “Motherhood is truly healing for me. I longed for him so much that now all I can do is thank fate for such a gift.” And, as Hollywood wits joke, Nicole can easily wear her favorite stilettos. After all, in her marriage to short Cruz, she had to buy flat shoes.
Valeria and Joseph Prigogine. Photo:
Valeria: darling and Prigogine
Their marriage was considered exemplary. He is a famous producer, head of the family, loving husband and caring father. She is a popular singer, smart and beautiful, who manages to give birth to children in between tours and be a reliable keeper of the hearth. And suddenly their marriage fell apart like a house of cards. The fairy tale is over. It turned out that the happy family was just a glossy cover, under which something completely unsightly was hidden. Valeria dared and told the whole world that the years of married life with Alexander Shulgin were real slavery and complete humiliation. She then completely left the stage. As she herself believed - forever. The ex-husband made it clear that the road to show business was closed after her scandalous revelations. But it turned out that the world lives by completely different laws. And soon there was a meeting that completely changed her life. Valeria, having met producer Joseph Prigozhin, not only found a second wind as a singer, but also found her family happiness. Today Valeria never tires of repeating: those women who realized that their life has turned into hell must decisively change it. And under no circumstances should you be afraid of the consequences.
Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe. Photo: Sipa Press/Fotodom.ru.
Reese Witherspoon: Escape from Private Ryan
When Reese Witherspoon and handsome Ryan Phillippe decided to break up, many blamed her, Reese. She was the first to talk about divorce. But in fact, the actress was only stating a fact: family life began to resemble a battlefield in which there are no and cannot be winners. After they stopped being husband and wife, everyone in Hollywood felt sorry only for Ryan. Well, of course, it was he who sat with the kids - daughter Ava and son Deacon, while Reese starred in one film after another, walked on red carpets and led an active social life. And even after the breakup, Philip looked so confused... Only years later, Reese finally admitted what a blow the divorce was for her: “It was the most difficult period in my life. I felt disgusting. It seemed like the dark streak would never end.” Everything changed when she began dating Jim Toph, an employee of the Creative Artist Agency, which represented her interests. She had to wait four years for her fate, but it was worth it. And today the actress feels completely happy. She even decided to film less - so that she could be at home with her family more often. “This may seem strange to some, but after the divorce I became a much better person. And I’m grateful that there was that difficult period in my life.”
Jasmine and Vyacheslav Semenduev. Photo: MK archive.
Jasmine: hostage to fate
She even published a book about herself, which she called “Hostage.” The husband, a famous businessman Vyacheslav Semenduev, sponsored his wife’s desire to become a singer. And he, as Jasmine told the public, regularly beat her if she suddenly did something against his will. There was no doubt in show business circles: after the divorce, Jasmine’s career would decline - without serious financial investments she would not be able to perform. But further developments showed that she did the right thing, putting an end to the bullying. Left alone, Jasmine seemed to have found a second wind. Her career took off. And soon she met her love - Moldovan businessman Ilan Shor. “Apparently, God heard my prayers and sent me a real man,” says Jasmine, who in her new marriage gave birth to a daughter, Margarita. “I’m sure that everything will only get better for us in the future.” And I’m glad that at the time I decided to take a radical step.”
Jasmine and Ilan. Photo: Liliya Sharlovskaya.
Olga Ostroumova: who said “Gaft”?
They lived together for twenty-three years. Married to director Mikhail Levitin, actress Olga Ostroumova gave birth to a son, Mikhail, and a daughter, Olga. It seemed to her that family life was a success. She, as often happens with loving wives, had no idea that her husband had an affair on the side (as it later turned out, more than one). The epiphany came at a high price. “When I found out that in addition to living with me, he had twenty-five other lives, it was a monstrous blow,” the actress later recalled. “And I filed for divorce.” At that time, Olga Mikhailovna was forty-seven years old. Not the right age to start a new life, at least that’s what almost all of her friends thought. “They cheat on everyone, that’s life, be patient, and everything will be fine,” they convinced. Even her own son did not understand and did not accept her step. And after the divorce I decided to stay with my father. “But I can’t do that,” the actress stood her ground. “I am for honesty in relationships and I am sure that you cannot build a family on lies.” She had almost resigned herself to facing old age alone. And it was at that moment that fate sent Him to the actress. In fact, Valentin Gaft drew attention to Olga Ostroumova many years ago, when they starred in the film “Garage”. But then both were not free, and their meeting never developed into something serious. And then suddenly they met - at the behest of the organizers of some party dedicated to March 8th. “Who will perform there?” - Olga asked. “Gaft,” they answered her. “So everything is in order,” thought Olga Mikhailovna. And Gaft was told that Ostroumova would be at the party. “Well, that means the event is decent,” the artist, in turn, decided. After that meeting their relationship began. True, the wedding was almost upset - due to Valentin Iosifovich’s illness. They ended up getting married right in the hospital. The couple has been together for seventeen years...
Valentin Gaft and Olga Ostroumova. Photo: MK archive.
Irina Pegova: flight without Orlov
The divorce of actors Irina Pegova and Dmitry Orlov came as a surprise even to their colleagues. Anyone who has at least once seen the way Dima looks at his wife had no doubt: this family will never fall apart. Their story was widely discussed in theater and film circles. Dmitry himself gave more than one interview, where he explained why they had to break up. And only Irina refused any comments. Only the actress’s close friends knew how hard she was experiencing the current situation. But today, looking at Irina, many admit: after the divorce, she began to look simply gorgeous. The actress noticeably lost weight, changed her hairstyle and seemed to look ten years younger.
Valentina Talyzina: Not remembering his marriage
Valentina Talyzina got married in the mid-sixties. Her chosen one was the artist Leonid Nepomnyashchy. In March 1969, the couple had a daughter, Ksenia. The actress recalled the twelve years of their marriage as something enchanting: as soon as Nepomniachtchi received his next fee, he immediately threw a merry party. The country's best creative forces visited their home. The festivities lasted for several days. The owner of the family himself cooked. He also entertained the guests. It all ended in one moment when it turned out that the spouse was having an affair. The husband himself filed for divorce, and soon left the country with his new wife. Valentina was left alone with the child in her arms. “However, today, years later, I am even grateful to my ex-husband for leaving me,” the actress once admitted. - Because I succeeded in the profession only thanks to the fact that I was left alone. I’m used to relying only on myself.” Today Valentina Talyzina communicates with her ex-husband (after fifteen years of living in Mexico, he returned to Russia). And even - when he painted her portrait - she paid him for his work. She's used to relying on herself!
Cecilia Ciganer and Richard Attias. Photo: Sipa Press/Fotodom.ru.
Cecilia Ciganer: what a Sarkozy!
While the press followed every step of the new couple - French President (now former) Nicolas Sarkozy and his beautiful wife Carla Bruni, no one remembered about ex-wife Cecilia Ciganer. But she was not just Nicolas’s companion. It was she who played the role of his adviser for many years. Cecilia personally developed a plan for his further actions, chose the right tie and coordinated his new diet with the doctors. Left alone, Cecilia lost heart. “This woman will not be able to make him forget me,” she repeated, looking at the smiling Sarkozy, who was walking arm in arm with Carla. Well, and then Cecilia... began to enjoy her new life - free, not dependent on the desires of her other half. “I finally had time to chat with my children and just drink coffee in a regular cafe,” she admitted. And soon Cecilia married again - to the organizer of the Davos Forum, media tycoon Richard Attias. He values family comfort and is ready to carry his wife in his arms.
Lyubov Rudenko: from a boy-woman to a woman
Actress Lyubov Rudenko decided to divorce when she turned fifty. Her husband, former actor Kirill Makeenko, preferred working in an antique store to the stage. Kirill completely entrusted all matters to his active wife, and Lyubov tried to manage everything. “I returned from filming at night and... started working. Around the house. I went to bed, completely exhausted, and realized that I still had to fulfill my marital duty. What kind of love can we talk about? She herself did not notice how she turned from a woman into a soulless machine for making money. And when I found out that my husband had someone else, then... I even felt relieved. “You can’t imagine how glad I am that I’m finally free,” says the actress. — On the day of my fiftieth birthday, I organized a bachelorette party. I realized how cool it is to take care of yourself, and not pull the load on yourself. I want to tell women: don’t be afraid to change your life, leave your unloved husband, whether you’re forty or fifty.” As soon as Lyubov took care of herself, lost weight, became prettier, she had a new love. Her chosen one is an operator by profession and a real man in life. Someone who can lend a strong shoulder in a difficult situation. And next to whom you can finally feel like a defenseless woman, and not a sissy.
Opinion: Lots of possibilities: Is there life after divorce?
Text: Sonya Margulis
The first time I went on a date was a year after my divorce. He was from the general circle (which is important), handsome (which is nice) and not an idiot (which is rare). I myself suggested going to the cinema - so that on the crest of suffering I could quickly dive into the icy water. If they made a movie about us, it would be the perfect date. He arrived by car and was waiting for me at the entrance. Opened the door. There was a rose on the seat. Well, here's an awkward moment: what to do with a rose if you're going to the movies? Carrying it around is stupid, leaving it behind is impolite. I decided to leave. The film was moderately romantic, moderately tragic and, of course, about divorce. I sat on pins and needles, suffocating in the cloud of my companion’s spirits and trying to drive away the thought of what I was actually doing here. The film ended and we went to have coffee. During the non-stick table talk, I was biting my nails, and he looked at me intently, periodically remarking: “You’re kind of sad.” Then he walked me home. And without waiting for the awkward farewell at the entrance (one of the most painful scenes), I slipped inside. Needless to say, we never met again.
Not long ago I turned 30. It’s also like jumping into cold water: you seem to be waiting, preparing and even knowing how it will be, but it’s still unpleasant and cold. You remember different movies - for example, Rachel's birthday in Friends. Nobody probably watches “Friends” anymore, but I know it by heart, often quote it and, even worse, make strange gestures, like Ross. I bet you: 20-year-olds don’t do that.
By my birthday, I had already gotten a divorce. It so happened that for some reason everyone in our company decided to get married very early. At 18, 19, 20 something. Such a boomerang effect - everything takes turns. A year after the wedding, almost all gave birth to children. A couple of years after that, some had more children. And then - with or without children - the same people began to get divorced in approximately the same order.
— Freedom is terribly interesting. It's like the floodgates have opened - do whatever you want. Otherwise, soon there will be a second wave: everyone who is divorced will start getting married for the second time. (My friend and I are standing at the bar in Strelka.)
- Yes, it's cool. Well, what, for example?
- Yes, what? Actually everything.
He has a wife and a young son, and has not yet divorced.
In the same “Friends” there is an episode about backup plans: the main characters agree that if they are not married by the age of 40, they will marry each other. In my opinion, this is wise. Until they turned 30, they went on dates and had fun, sometimes accidentally gave birth to children, but they still had fun, continued to go on dates, and only after 30 did they think about marriage (if you watched the series, you will probably correct me that Ross - exception, and you will be right). At the very least, after turning 30, they managed to pacify the hormonal storms raging in the company. It happened the other way around for me and my friends.
Over time, my peers look worse and worse: they are going bald and getting fat.
At best, you are 28, at worst, 33. You stand in the kitchen in bewilderment, looking at photographs that capture rare moments of a happy family life, and thinking: what, exactly, should you do next? You are like a chick hatched from a warm, cozy egg: you need to adapt to life, learn to fly and generally have fun. And here I will explain to you why “Friends” did everything right, but friends did not. You are 30, but you have no relationship experience, because all you have seen is the first, or at best the second, romance, which smoothly flowed into family life. This is where you have to pull your head out of the sand or egg and frantically try to live an adult free life. True, you don’t look much like a chick anymore.
Over time, my peers look worse and worse: they are going bald and getting fat. They look not even 30, but vaguely 30+. Women of the same age, on the contrary, are all beautiful, smart, well-mannered and educated. Almost no one has a good life, while their ex-husbands (swollen and bald, yes) plunge into adventure after the divorce. Surprisingly, women from other companies hang in clusters on their stooped shoulders - shoulders that someone else recently loved so long and devotedly.
After all, what is a divorced 30-year-old single man? The dream of young girls. An accomplished adult. With light and effective gray hair at the temples. A little battered by life, but still standing firmly on his feet. But a lonely 30-year-old woman is sad, in any circumstances. Those around her always feel sorry for her: “Poor, alone and with children. How can she cope with all this?”, “Poor thing, she’s already 30 and has no children. She’s probably worried,” “Poor thing, she’s already 30 and doesn’t have a husband. He’s probably worried,” “Poor, poor.” Well, the gray hair at her temples is not sexy at all.
In general, age is a strange thing. You, of course, know that you are growing up, that the years go by and there is no turning back, and there is no doubt about it. But for some reason no one warns that your inner age will not change along with your biological age. What to do if, in your fourth decade, in your heart you are still hovering between 15 and 19 years old? You are turning gray, but you step over the boundaries between the tiles in the subway. What is it like to be 70 and still feel like a boy? This certainly happens. Not funny at all. The tale of lost time, it turns out, is not a fairy tale at all, but it’s not clear what to do to catch up with it. And is it necessary to catch up?
Suddenly it turned out that the adults who put plates on my child’s both jaws, take out insurance policies, serve in banks and restaurants, work in the media, etc. - they were all born after 1990, say, in 1993, when I already kissed passionately. They are living evidence of my true age, and how can I get used to it?
Here I want to say “unagi” or hit the backs of clenched fists against each other - but it’s unlikely that you will understand what I mean. The point is that I personally am not poor. Dot. I am free, cheerful, and no one snores under my ear every night, ruining my sleep and mood. And if I want, he will snore. I will go to dances and cafes, on dates and to the cinema and enjoy life, as I would have done at 23, if I had not gotten married then. Time to catch up, and in future editions of this column I will describe what comes of it.
Illustration: Masha Shishova
