Among the variety of human feelings, the most beautiful feeling is love. The pinnacle of love between a man and a woman is sexual relations. Unfortunately, even if a couple’s relationship develops harmoniously, at a certain stage problems in sex appear. Let's try to identify their causes and find ways to eliminate them.
Common Causes of Sexual Problems
Problems in sex can be male, female and general, common to everyone:
- Lack of feelings in intimate relationships
There is an opinion that in a relationship between a man and a woman it is not at all important to have any feelings for each other. But life makes its own adjustments to these stereotypes and proves: the more feelings, the brighter the sex. Women, being more delicate creatures emotionally, for the most part experience the need to love and feel loved.
Feeling that she is not indifferent to her partner, the lady tries to give her chosen one maximum pleasure. A man behaves similarly. If he sees passion on the part of his partner, and even more so if he likes her, a man will do everything to rise to the occasion.
- Anatomical incompatibility of partners
There are cases when the sizes of the genital organs of a man and a woman do not match. As an example of such a discrepancy, consider a situation in which a man's penis exceeds the length of his partner's vagina. As a result, a woman experiences pain during sexual intercourse, sometimes quite severe. What kind of pleasure can we talk about? Of all the feelings, one will be relevant - the desire for sexual contact to end as soon as possible.
The situation in size can be exactly the opposite, and then the two will be completely uncomfortable. The feeling of frustration due to unfulfilled expectations will be prevalent.
However, no matter what scenario the relationship between partners develops due to anatomical incompatibility, there is always a way out. And this way out is in finding positions in which both will feel comfortable, in increasing their sexual awareness and sexual literacy.
- Negative first sexual experience
The problem is very serious and can leave an imprint on a person’s future sexual life. Psychological discomfort, pain, forced sexual intercourse (unfortunately, this also happens) are deposited in the subconscious for a long time, sometimes for life. All of this can become a barrier to healthy intimate relationships.
- Differences in the sexual constitution of partners
First, let's figure out what the sexual constitution is. Translating such a sophisticated concept into ordinary language, we can say that this is a common need for sex. The intensity of this need can be weak, medium or strong. Ideally, the sexual constitution should match. It doesn't matter if this doesn't happen. There would be a desire, because you can adapt to your partner.
But, if you approach the solution of a sexual problem correctly, good results can be achieved with the help of:
- hormonal therapy,
- increasing sensuality through intimate muscle training – wumbling,
- studying ways to stimulate erogenous zones,
- unobtrusive study of the partner’s needs
- Difference in biorhythms
We are talking about owls and larks. And if a man who is a lark tries to wake up his beloved, whose biorhythm is defined as an owl, with gentle kisses, he may not only fail, but also hear unflattering epithets addressed to him.
However, a compromise can always be found. For example, a man has a habit of going to bed earlier than his chosen one is ready for it. A wise lady will find a way out. Having dived like a fox under the blanket to her beloved, she explains this by the desire to just chat a little about this and that. Conducting a meaningless conversation, she begins to caress her partner and, when he wakes up from his nap and is ready for anything, the sorceress persuades him to have sex. It is necessary to remember that you cannot immediately slip out of the bed of love. Wait until your lark falls asleep (most likely, you won’t have to wait long), and only then return to your business.
- Life's troubles
Lack of sexual interest is sometimes due to objective reasons. It could be:
- hormonal disbalance,
- women's critical days,
- mental disorders: depression, apathy, chronic fatigue syndrome,
- disease,
- various phobias and complexes of a sexual nature: fear of pain during sex, refusal to have sex naked or in the light, etc.
Have group sex
This is advice from the “wedge by wedge” category, because we have already written that group sex, most likely, will not give you any pleasure. But you must admit, jumping with a parachute from an airplane cannot be called a pleasant act either, but you will get very vivid emotions. That's how it is with sex. Figure it out for three (the “more is better” principle doesn’t exactly work), and you’ll never forget this night. Or it will be the best in your life and in your most pleasant dreams you will see the continuation of the story. Or it will be so bad that the bad sex you're trying to survive will seem like a pretty good experience.
Problems with sex in women 2
The weaker sex is much more likely to encounter problems of a sexual nature. The trouble is that women don't want to admit that these are real problems. They in no way connect their illnesses, psychoses and nervous breakdowns that appeared out of nowhere with shortcomings in their intimate life. Then why has life become so joyless, where there are feelings of lightness and happiness that color healthy sexual relationships? It's all about the problems:
- Inability to achieve orgasm
Characteristic of almost a third of the female half of humanity. Among the reasons for this sexual pathology are:
- lack of a sensual component in a relationship,
- long-term stressful situations,
- diseases, including nervous ones,
- taking certain medications,
- hormonal disbalance,
- age-related changes,
- viewing sex as a shameful duty
- lack of basic knowledge about a woman’s erogenous zones and a man’s inept actions to stimulate them
It is important that a woman does not dwell on this problem, does not hide it from her partner, especially not hide it behind an imitation of orgasm. The sooner she talks about it, the faster she can eliminate it. The doctor will prescribe special therapy, and a loving man will find ways to stimulate sensitive areas.
- Frigidity
This is coldness in intimate relationships, inability to have sexual desire, lack of need for sex. Frigidity manifests itself in different ways in women. It happens that in the complete absence of sexual desire, when entering into intimate intimacy, a woman receives pleasure and even easily achieves orgasm. Sometimes a woman is frigid only in relation to her husband, while sex with another man can be painted in bright colors. Some ladies cannot experience sexual desire with anyone.
By and large, frigidity arises as a result of a complete discord between the head and the body. A frigid woman does not perceive sex at all, while the body may well respond to caresses during sexual intercourse. For such a lady, it is necessary to create an appropriate intimate environment and increase the time of foreplay.
Well, if this problem cannot be solved, you should seek professional help from a doctor and psychologist. As they say, the devil is not as scary as he is painted.
- Pain during intimacy
These sensations can be either weak or strong. Their reasons may be:
- minor damage to the vulva,
- inflammatory process of the female genital organs,
- postoperative surgical scars,
- lack of lubrication,
- pelvic adhesions,
- tumor formations
If the pain lasts for a long time, you should immediately consult a doctor and find out the cause of the pain. If necessary, undergo prescribed therapy. If there is no such need, and the cause of the pain lies in the woman’s mental state, it is important to work out the problem with a psychologist.
Why is a guy bad in bed?3
Sometimes girls complain about very bad sex in relationships. Why can guys not satisfy their partner? The reasons for this are as follows:
- The guy is a quick shooter. This is the most common reason. If a man cums quickly without having time to satisfy a woman, then there are reasons for this: fatigue, being too excited before the act, inexperience. All this can be solved!
- The process is long, but there is no point. This is how a woman who is not satisfied with her partner can describe sexual intercourse. In this case, the reason for bad sex may be the lack of dialogue between the guy and the girl. We need to talk, say what you like, how to do it right. A man can really believe that his partner is happy with everything if she doesn’t complain!
- Guys can be shy too, help him loosen up.
Male sexual problems 3
Sexual problems in men are not uncommon and can increase as the body ages. However, there is no reason to despair, since most of them are treatable.
Among male sexual problems we can highlight:
- decreased testosterone levels
- lack of sexual interest
- lack of erection
- Low testosterone levels
Testosterone, being an important male hormone, is responsible for sperm production, maintaining sexual desire, strengthening the body, muscle and bone mass, and pubic hair growth.
The level of the hormone affects the physical condition of a man and his mood. You can talk about low testosterone levels if an adult man exhibits the following signs:
- loss of interest in sexual relations,
- lack of erection,
- decreased sperm count,
- enlargement of the mammary glands,
- reduction in the size of the testicles and changes in their structure,
- periodic occurrence of hot flashes,
- hair loss,
- decreased memory concentration,
- manifestations of anger, irritability,
- depressive state
- Loss of sexual interest
Libido, which is exactly what the name of such a concept as interest in sex sounds, changes throughout a person’s entire life journey. Sometimes, due to a stressful situation or illness, libido decreases. It may not always coincide with the desire of the partner and this is not considered a deviation from the norm, especially if there is a long-term sexual relationship with a specific person.
But, if the loss of interest in sex has gone beyond isolated manifestations, you need to think about whether this is the beginning of health problems. Sometimes libido can be affected by medications and decreased levels of male hormones (which is a natural phenomenon for aging men). The path to restoring men's health should begin with a visit to a doctor, who, having identified the cause of loss of interest in intimate relationships, will prescribe treatment.
- Lack of erection (erectile dysfunction)
Popularly, a similar phenomenon associated with the lack of the necessary erection for sexual intercourse is called impotence. The problem is typical for men of all ages and causes uncertainty in their capabilities and instability of their psycho-emotional state.
Once having suffered a fiasco in intimacy, a man begins to experience fear of upcoming sex, which he begins to think of as an exam for sexual viability. The increasing nervous tension only aggravates the situation.
As a rule, men try to keep their weakness a secret, not relying on the possibilities of modern medicine. As a result, they often miss valuable time and do not receive timely medical care. In fact, erectile dysfunction can be successfully treated, and in 9 out of 10 cases there is an excellent result.
Considering that this problem in sex is not an independent disease, but is associated either with a person’s mental state or with an underlying disease, it is necessary to begin therapy by searching for the causes.
Among the reasons that determine this condition are:
- psychogenic causes:
- depression
- stress
- fear
- anxiety
- reasons based on organic disorders:
- atherosclerosis
- hypertension
- diabetes
- hormonal disorders
- renal failure
- pathology of the broncho-pulmonary system
Sleep with another girl
If quantitative experimentation isn't your thing, try to make up for a bad experience by looking for a new sex partner. And since now we are only talking about carnal pleasures, we advise you to seek help from the inhabitants of Tinder who have decided on their expectations and desires. You probably think that many girls are really trying to find their other half there and live happily ever after. Yes, there are some, but they are far from the overwhelming majority. In a discussion about who loves sex more - men or women, dozens of arguments could be given in favor of both versions. And hundreds of girls go to Tinder specifically for the purpose of having hot and vicious sex. They don't want to meet you, they don't try to seem godly. Give them sex swings, whips, hours-long marathons and a full range of positions. Look for just such a sensation hunter and forget that someone there once did not satisfy you.
What men suffering from erectile dysfunction should not do4
Often men, in order to hide an existing problem with potency, start taking Viagra and similar drugs. However, it should be noted that this should not be done without medical advice, since this drug group significantly affects the condition of the prostate and can lead to disruption of its function.
You shouldn’t change women in the hope that if it didn’t work out with one, it will work out with the other. You need to talk frankly with your partner, talk about your problems, discuss what steps should be taken first. If you are dear to your woman, she will treat your sexual failures with understanding and will not stay away from them.
Alcohol is also not a solution. It will only distract you from bad thoughts. It will not increase potency in any way. And frequent use can lead to alcohol addiction.
If you have problems with sex, you should understand once and for all that you need to solve them only with your partner. The support of a loved one will be that unbreakable wall behind which you can hide not only from sexual problems.
What should a woman do if the quality of sex with her lover leaves much to be desired?
The first mistake of all ladies who are not satisfied in bed is faking an orgasm.
Yes, we want to show the guy that he’s “wow!”, or maybe just finish the process faster and go have tea with buns (finish watching an interesting movie?). But in this way, the woman herself spoils the quality of sex, and it will not get better, because the man is sure that he is doing everything right, and next time he will follow the same paths. You need to be honest about the fact that you have not received satisfaction and say what you would like to achieve orgasm.
Don't neglect toys from a sex shop. They will make sex better, and they will also help you turn really bad sex into amazing sex, and everyone will be happy with the process. You need to loosen up in bed, and this advice mostly applies to ladies. Understand that a man likes everything about you, if it weren’t so, he simply wouldn’t get hard. During sex, no man will think: “Wow, her mascara is smudged, ugh!”, so stop being shy and complex, relax, and already have fun!
Psychological problems
Often a woman is closed and “cold” sexually and cannot have an orgasm. In this case, most likely, the problem is purely psychological. This may be due to unsuccessful first sex, especially if it was accompanied by pain or psychological discomfort. This has a great influence on the subconscious and subsequently regulates the entire sexual life of a woman.
Another cause of psychological problems can be strict upbringing in childhood. As a result, a person grows up with certain psychosexual defects: he may be withdrawn into himself, he may have a negative attitude towards sexual intercourse and a reluctance to perform it. This is possible even if a person simultaneously experiences strong feelings for his partner. Consultation with a psychologist can solve the problem.
Discrepancy in sexual desire
You can often encounter a situation in which one partner wants sex once every 2 days, and the other wants sex once a week. This is a natural phenomenon that is influenced by the libido level of each partner. If the level of sexual desire between people coincides, then this is very good, no one will have to adapt to the desires of another. But this does not always happen. However, the problem can be solved.
If the level of sexual desire depends on the level of hormones, then hormonal therapy will help correct the latter indicator. However, it can only be carried out under the supervision of a doctor. You can also carefully study all the erogenous zones of your partner and learn how to stimulate them correctly. This will help ignite passion, and it will not be superfluous for obtaining sexual pleasure. Because good foreplay is the key to great sexual intercourse.
Get into a relationship
The best alternative to quantitative experiments is qualitative ones. And such things are only possible with a permanent partner with whom you are connected, in addition to the lust of the flesh, by emotional attachment and common interests. If you listened at least a little in physics and chemistry lessons at school or read books about inventors, then you know that it is extremely rare for someone to succeed at something the first time. As they say, “experience is the son of difficult mistakes.” There is no need to have sons (and daughters), but it will be much easier to conquer the heights of the sexual Olympus, trying something new over and over again and getting to know each other better. Returning to the first point, there is a chance that a love baptism will be depressing. But if she's a cool girl with whom you spent a wonderful couple of hours, give each other a second chance. And the third and fourth. Rome was not built in one day, and the mutual mind-blowing orgasms in terms of the complexity of the construction cannot be compared with the Colosseum built in eight years.
