How to change your character for the better
The first thing you need to do is take a piece of paper, a pen and make a list: first, indicate those traits that you think are preventing you from living, and then write down those that you would like to acquire.
To more accurately determine what is negative about you, ask your loved ones. Let them tell you what annoys them about you. This way you can look at yourself from the outside. Otherwise, we often don’t see any shortcomings in ourselves, but in this case we can identify a couple more character traits in ourselves that we can correct at the same time. The next step after compiling a list of necessary and unnecessary character traits, indicate next to the desired ways how to implement this. For example, laziness can be overcome only by vigorous activity, pessimism - by a positive attitude, anger - by cultivating goodwill, indecision - by taking active action in relation to your plans, etc. Think about what changes a change in character will bring to you. This will motivate you. But know that changing your character is a long and labor-intensive task, but it perfectly develops willpower. Sometimes changing one's appearance can change a person's character. This is especially familiar to women. By changing, for example, her hair color, a woman begins to notice that over time her attitude to life has changed in accordance with this color. For example, blond hair brings softness and romanticism to a character, while dark hair is characteristic of strong and purposeful people. There is also an inverse relationship. When a reassessment of values occurs in your mind, a desire appears to change your appearance in accordance with your new “I”. The task of changing your character is not an easy one, remember this, and in an effort to improve your character, also pay attention to not acquiring other negative traits. Control this and get rid of them in time.
How to change your attitude towards a situation - recommendations
It is worth understanding one simple thing: any event that occurs has neither a positive nor a negative side. Only we ourselves are capable of giving it one side or another. But how to change your attitude to the situation, what to do to benefit yourself? This is exactly what will be discussed further in the article.
1.
Whatever situation arises in life, it is worth approaching it from a philosophical position. There is no need to rush out of the fire into the next inferno. A negative situation has occurred, sit down and cool down. At the same time, it is advisable to get away from everyone and retire; only alone with yourself can you draw independent conclusions.
2.
If after solitude you cannot calm down and come to a state of balance, then try turning on calm, relaxing music, take a cool shower, water, by the way, very well helps to wash away all the negativity that has arisen. Try to think about something positive. Try to sleep, if possible, of course.
3.
After you manage to achieve relative calm, your emotions subside, you need to remember everything that happened, but at the same time you need to put yourself in the role of an observer.
It’s as if you are watching a movie or listening to someone’s story, without your participation. It’s not for nothing that they say that you know better from the outside. By putting yourself in this position, you will be able to judiciously draw the necessary conclusions.
Next, to change your attitude towards the situation, write down the positives in any stressful situation that happened earlier, indicate what lessons you learned then, what were its consequences and how they differed from initial expectations. Then describe your current situation. Consider what unexpected bonuses or lessons it might bring.
4.
It is worth choosing one important position for yourself and sticking to it throughout your life. The position is this: everything that is not done is aimed at making us stronger.
Regardless of the current situation, you should not look for those to blame, or even worse, blame yourself; you should approach the situation from the other side and find positive aspects.
5.
By constantly looking for negative sides in any situation, you yourself, without knowing it, attract negativity to yourself. So, be reasonable and approach any situation with a philosophical attitude.
How to change your character to a tougher one. What is character
Is it possible to change your character? Most experts believe that this is impossible. This is not entirely true. Any person can change his character and, thereby, change his life. But this is not an easy process that requires maximum responsibility, preparation and a clear action plan.
It is much easier to change your behavior in a specific situation. Let's say that a person is unrestrained and in anger can yell at anyone, be it a dog, an acquaintance or a boss. Learning to react calmly in conflict situations will be easier than excessive emotionality in life, which can manifest itself not only in hot temper, but also in uncontrollable positive outbursts. Few people will like the hugs and kisses of a stranger when he finds out about a promotion and, from an overabundance of feelings, shares his joy with others.
In essence, character is habits, behavior, a stable way of thinking and reacting in various situations. All this is adjustable. Character is not a rigid system that cannot be reconfigured. It simply determines the tendency to act in one way or another.
How to change your character for the better. For the better
How to change your character for the better? Undoubtedly, the worse your character, the more difficult it is to live. Intemperance, laziness, hot temper and other negative qualities obviously will not add friends to you and will not help you in building a career.
Psychologists recommend the following to change your character for the better:
- Conduct an analysis of your character. Only one condition: be as honest as possible with yourself. Write your strengths and weaknesses in two columns. Spend at least 30 minutes on this and delve into yourself. Now that you have this list in front of you, it becomes clearer what you need to work on!
- Understand why you want to change. Surely you began to think about this because someone pointed out your shortcomings, or you yourself noticed that there are qualities that clearly complicate your life. In order to change the qualities of your character, you will have to make a lot of effort. And if you don’t realize why you’re doing this, then you’ll give up pretty quickly.
- Read good books.
The most important rule in this case: the book should make you think. So pulp novels and detective stories of dubious quality, which are forgotten immediately after reading, are clearly not suitable. Pay attention to good fiction. You can also read books on psychology. Read at least 50 pages a day and apply all the recommendations written there. This will help you work on your character. - Work on self-control. This is a very useful quality that will be useful to you in all areas of life. The ability to restrain yourself and not give in when you really want to lash out, be rude, get lazy or cry, that is, the ability to control your emotions will help you in working on your character.
- Don't be afraid to go to a psychologist. There's nothing wrong with that. If you really intend to change, then the help of a competent specialist will come in handy. Thanks to it, you will be able to understand the reasons for your behavior and understand how to better work on yourself.
Don't hesitate to ask for help. Man is not omnipotent and there are situations when he cannot cope on his own. Talk to your loved ones and friends. Ask what qualities you need to work on and how best to do it. They will be happy to help you, and will also support you if they notice that you are weak.
How to change a man for the better?
And my beloved puts justice, decency and patriotism above all else in this life. He is not a family man at all (which is why after 11 months we broke up for the 11th time), supposedly born for “great things.” At first I didn’t understand this, but then I realized the value of his daily lessons in military training, business, politics, ethics, psychology, languages, music, medicine and much more... He is an unusually spiritually developed person, thanks to whom my whole world simply collapsed after the divorce and began to sparkle with new colors. I fell in love for the first time. At 23 years old. For real. And although it was not mutual, I am still grateful to him for all the metamorphoses that happened to me. After all, for 2.5 years I communicated with a complete plebeian, for some reason I even managed to marry him (we both really wanted a holiday and a honeymoon in the Canary Islands). Thank God, children from twice coded at his modest 25 did not work out ( I still thank the Lord for this, although it almost happened twice, how good it was that they came up with Postinor). And after these hysterical years, I met Him. Apparently I’m still in a state of euphoria in love, but I can’t help it. This is how it happens - when you meet someone whom you don’t want to change, to whom even the obstinate Lioness, who lined up men left and right, is ready to practically obey, he is unable to force himself to love you, out of a sense of nobility he once again writes to you “I don’t I want you to waste time on me, you deserve love, but I can’t give it. In fact, for a normal guy, you are a godsend, gold. Forgive me, you will still meet someone who will be stronger than me and capable of love.” But now normal people are no longer interested. I’m too used to being with someone (albeit rarely) from whom there is something to learn, and now I don’t really want to get used to the role of “mom” again. Although such a candidate turned up literally right away, I started looking for a travel companion, he seemed like a normal guy, smart, handsome, also 25 years old, we went on vacation to Corfu, where it turned out that he was still a virgin at his age, we corrected this situation, but there wasn’t even an hour, so that I wouldn’t think about Him (for reference, he was surfing in Portugal with friends at the time), we called each other every day as soon as I landed on my native Moscow soil and got rid of my polite, but already quite tired of my fellow traveler, here I rushed into His arms. After all, I see and feel that I also missed you and was really looking forward to meeting you, but this will not happen. And now, probably for the 10th time, he writes to me that everything has passed, and what feelings, poems, restaurants, dances, courtships there were in those distant first 3 months at the end of 2012... but as soon as the snake arrived, everything went wrong, I was according to the plan, in between meetings with ex-girlfriends and friends, I only had to be indignant once, the conclusion was made. But by that point I was really acting like a 100% consumer. She didn’t call, didn’t pay, and even frightened him with plans for a second marriage at 23. The guy seriously thought about whether he needed it? Well, he wasn’t born for this, he needs to serve his Motherland, risk his life, etc. etc... Apparently I couldn’t fall in love with anyone else. After all, I chose Him myself (although for the first month I was actively courted by another MCH, “ordinary”, ready for a family, also without a wife, but with him I didn’t feel like a “lady”, that’s why I chose a “gentleman”, no matter what I don’t regret it one bit, even despite this sad ending). The banal moral of this story is: appreciate what you have, and immediately try to understand who you are dealing with. And if you, like me, missed your chance, it will not return, no matter how many times this feeling flares up in both of you, it will never be the same!
How to change your character and become calm. Is it possible to change your character?
When a bad temper or, conversely, lack of self-confidence becomes the cause of troubles and problems, then there is a desire to dramatically change something in your life. And it is necessary to start with character.
Psychologists have different opinions about whether it is possible to change one's character. Some of them believe that character cannot be changed, and bad habits or weaknesses need to be “turned around” so that they subsequently help a person achieve the highest benefits. Another opinion of experts in the field of psychology is that it is necessary to get rid of habits that interfere with a normal life. And you can do this, you just need to want it, and then start working hard on yourself.
What is character? These are habits, a way of thinking, behavioral foundations and a certain type of response to various situations. Human character has no genetic basis, that is, it cannot be passed on by inheritance. What kind of person a person will be like depends on numerous factors. Firstly, upbringing has a strong influence on character. Secondly, lifestyle and the surrounding atmosphere are also the “building blocks” that form the basis of character.
Throughout life, a person's character changes. The first changes begin to appear in childhood - most children are kind, sympathetic, straightforward and naive. Then changes occur in adolescence - aggressiveness and irritability appear. At a young age, a person becomes purposeful, self-confident, decisive or, conversely, passive, fearful and distrustful. In an adult, character can change depending on the situation.
For example, even the most calm and spontaneous person will become active and decisive if an angry beast appears in front of him. An energetic and determined person at work becomes lazy and good-natured at home.
How to change your character beyond recognition. How to change yourself and your character
change bad habits to useful ones
Surely you understand that habits have a significant impact on our lives. If you want to acquire useful habits, then at first you will probably have to stimulate yourself. how to do it? for example, you are determined to go for a run tomorrow morning. In this case, prepare your running clothes and backpack in the evening. It is important to do this in advance, when you are still full of motivation to act. Preparing things in the morning will significantly increase the chances that you will actually exercise. In some cases, in order to get rid of bad habits, it is necessary to permanently or at least temporarily change the environment that promotes these habits. the negative experience that you get from communicating with “inappropriate” people subsequently becomes a bad habit. for example, if you notice that you most often drink or smoke in the company of a certain person, then your meetings need to be sharply reduced. You can also learn good things in a good environment - sign up for a sports section, an interesting master class, and so on. Try to limit access to bad habits. for example, if you spend a lot of time watching TV, then remove the batteries from the remote control in advance, placing them at a considerable distance from you. do you want to quit smoking? Periodically get rid of all cigarettes, matches, and lighters in the house. subsequently, in order to do something that you would like to get out of the habit of, you will have to make additional efforts. in the mentioned cases - constantly getting up to change the channel or getting dressed and going to the store.
make your character tougher
Do you think that you are a rather weak-willed person? then, you can make your character stronger by following some simple guidelines. First of all, no matter how difficult it may be, you must reject all advice that does not correspond to what you have already internally decided for yourself. Each person is guided by his own interests, and sometimes this happens unconsciously. that is why you should not force anyone to do as you wish, but do not allow others to impose their opinions on you. Determine the right path for yourself and follow it. It is also very important to learn how to manage your own emotions, suppress them in yourself if necessary. your everyday actions and decisions should depend only on common sense, and not be made under the influence of emotions. Often, it is not easy to maintain this position, but if you make an effort, everything will work out. If a situation occurs that causes you a flurry of emotions, find an opportunity to interrupt the conversation, shut up, mentally count to ten, and only then continue the dialogue. If this is possible, then leave the situation without words at all, giving yourself time to think about it.
become an optimist
There is an opinion that thoughts are material. that is, the way you imagine the development of a particular situation is how it will most likely be. for example, if you are afraid of an upcoming meeting, in your thoughts you will scroll through its possible negative aspects, then most likely this will happen - this is exactly the psychological attitude you are giving yourself. Meanwhile, if you make an effort to relax and calm down as much as possible, and think about the positive aspects of the meeting, then everything will probably turn out quite well. also accustom yourself to the fact that in any, even the most unpleasant situation, there must be at least one plus - if trouble happens to you, look for the positive side in it, it certainly exists, and always do this in such cases.
become a confident and purposeful person
So, what is self-confidence? first of all, of course, it is a strong belief in oneself. to achieve it, you need to completely abandon the habit of comparing yourself with anyone, and realize that you are a unique person, like no one else on earth. if you constantly compare yourself with someone, you will always remain a loser, because you will invariably find those who, according to some criteria, seem better to you. Also stop constantly criticizing yourself - it’s difficult to be a confident person if you have a negative perception yourself. It is equally important not to focus on what is left in the past. there is no need to waste your time and energy thinking about what is no longer in your life. You understand that there is no point in this? such thoughts only distract you from the present and future. If you think that you lack determination, then at the moment when you need to do something, visualize the result. imagine what will happen when you do the necessary work - you will receive some kind of payment for it, and so on. When doing something, do not be distracted by extraneous activities, even if it is very difficult for you. force yourself to finish the work you started, promising yourself some kind of reward after completing the task - we can talk about some kind of goodies or a more significant purchase. imagine the relief you will feel when the job is finally done.
improve character traits for the sake of a loved one
We often think about how to change our character precisely because of our loved ones. Of course, when we understand that some of our characteristics bring frustration and grief to a dear person, most of us want to correct this. if you understand that some trait of your character is spoiling your relationship with someone close to you, and at the same time you realize that this is a problem for you personally, then, of course, it makes sense to think about how to get rid of lack. we can talk about excessive touchiness, hot temper, jealousy, and so on. if you notice something like this happening to you, then try to control it.
Is it possible to change a man?
A client recently came to me with this question: is it possible to change qualities that you don’t like in the man you love?
But in fact, women subconsciously or consciously ask themselves this question: will he change or not? Will he stop smoking? Will he become more active and organized? Will he start earning more? Will you be more involved in raising your child? And many other changes a woman expects from her man...
At the beginning of a relationship, a woman subconsciously hopes that he will change. After some time, when the expected does not happen, she herself begins to change it, using a rich arsenal of methods - persuasion, insults, manipulation, boycott in sex, attention and, conversely, coldness - women are very inventive in these methods. Then, when time passes and the desired result does not come OR not quite to the extent the woman wanted, what happens?? The woman is disappointed!! And further disappointment can manifest itself in different ways - someone decides to break off the relationship and find another man, certainly without such shortcomings, someone continues the relationship. But the man constantly receives a portion of criticism and feels himself no longer a hero.
I observed one such case of a chronically dissatisfied wife in transport: a husband and wife of about 55 years old, she criticized him all the way - you’re standing in the wrong place, you got the money wrong, you went the wrong way, and in general you’re this and that. She said this with the accumulated anger and irritation of many years, and the expression on her face had long since preserved these emotions forever. Her husband, with slumped shoulders, so small and shriveled, looked guiltily around at the passengers. But once it was an “eagle”!
I want to summarize: attempts to change another person more often end in rather disastrous results for the family! And this is one of the most important steps aimed at destroying relationships. And why is there no way out at all? - you ask.
Of course, there is a way out!!! Moreover, there are several exits.
I’ll tell you about one thing, something that is closer to me.
Of course, it is impossible to change the character and qualities of another person, BUT it is quite possible to agree with him so that he HIMSELF changes some of his behavior.
I assume that you will say: he doesn’t want to, I’ve already tried it so many times, it’s all to no avail, he doesn’t want to talk or listen. And you will be right!! The bottom line is that the methods that you have tried and which do not work are your desire to insist on your own and change your partner. You can deny it as much as you like, that you tried both in a good way and in a different way. BUT there is a simple way to check: intention equals result. If a man does not want to listen to you on this topic and does not want to change his behavior, although he knows that this is important to you, it means that your intention was to achieve your goal and change your partner.
I know for sure that a man will be ready to change for you if you INSPIRE him to do so. What does it mean to inspire?
Oh, this is one word, but quite a lot is embedded in it. To inspire means to recognize that he is who he is, to see that his characteristics (what we usually call shortcomings) are part of his unique set of personal qualities. How do you know that the qualities that you value in him (after all, there really are many qualities that you value in him?) are possible without his very characteristics? One of my favorite examples on this topic comes from the words of Jane Carlyle, an amazing woman and the happiest wife: “.. instead of making all people alike, I would draw a chalk circle around each person and pray that they would never did not mix with each other." For Jane Carlyle, it was important not to change her husband to suit her needs, but to help develop her uniqueness. She respected her husband’s individuality with all his quirks and never intruded into the “chalk circle” she outlined.
What else is included in the word “inspire”? Develop admiration and deep respect for your man. Make him the main man in your life and in your family. Thanking him, celebrating his best manifestations is simply praising. And, of course, the main thing is to trust him and believe in him. And believe me, when you start doing this, there is no chance that your man will not want to change his behavior for you!
It’s unlikely that you’ve read radically new thoughts just now, BUT TO KNOW DOESN’T MEAN DOING. Do you do this in life? Are you succeeding?
Good luck to you!! Change yourself, help your partners become better for you!!!
How can you change your character? Can a person change his character?
For a certain time it was believed that it was impossible to change one's character, because... it is innate, but the genetic determination of traits makes up less than ten percent of the totality of characterological manifestations. What cannot be changed is temperament, since it directly reflects the strength and organization of the nervous system, which are purely biological indicators. For the most part, character is formed and changed by interests, which are also not static over the course of life (in childhood, preference is given to completely different types of activities than in adulthood, and character changes accordingly).
The next factor that makes up character is our social circle; it is those with whom we spend most of our time or those who have great emotional significance for us that influence our reactions and their changes, preferences in the time spent and tastes. But these are factors that can be influenced by a person, through which he can change his characterological traits, although not all of them, but there are also factors that are not subject to influence (at least in childhood, at the stage of personality formation) - the environment (this includes not so much geographical data, how much mentality and its characteristics influencing the formation of values and interests) and education (by their own example or models of interaction, parents and school instill or destroy certain traits, thereby forming a character).
The question of independent character change, even in the chosen direction, equally deserves two opposite answers: yes, it is possible, since character is not a static indicator inherent genetically, and no, it is impossible, since we change character not under the influence of conscious factors, but in the presence of a need. corresponding to changes in the internal or external environment. But, nevertheless, people try to change their character, guided by willpower, and face failure, because few people have the motivation for such serious personal changes. Usually you want to become a little different under the influence of a temporary impulse (your loved one left you, your boss was rude, etc.), and when life returns to normal, the desire to change disappears. This indicates a lack of motivation or willpower, inhibitions or hidden needs, since in reality character is subject to change. Composed of habits and typical ways of reacting and thinking, succumbing to the influence of the surrounding society, education and activities performed, character changes when these indicators change.