“I have a nervous job; at the end of the day I am often on edge. Soothes sex. Of course, if my wife doesn’t get my mood and she doesn’t mind pleasing me in this way.” Igor, 33
“My personal sedative is solitude and alcohol, but with the latter the main thing is not to overdo it. I am left alone with myself and gradually move away. I’m ready to communicate with a girl only when I understand that I have complete control over my emotions.” Maxim, 31
“When I’m angry, talking to my son helps me. You play a war game with him, take a steam locomotive for a ride, and he lets you go. But when I’m angry with my son, I say, “Hold on, wife!” Everyone gets it so much that then they walk around and sulk for two more days.” Ilya, 28
“Silently I take the car keys and go for a drive until I calm down. At such moments, it seems that the tension remains under the wheels, and it becomes easier. But once I got stuck in a dead traffic jam. He became even more furious, began to buzz and cut everyone off. It’s a shame, but I couldn’t control myself.” Vladimir, 40
“The main thing is not to utter phrases like “Calm down, control yourself, you’re a man!” After them, I want to do the opposite and start breaking dishes like a hysterical woman. Anger goes away on its own if I am given time to come to my senses and are not told what to do or how to behave.” Evgeniy, 26
“One day I was quarreling with a girl, and she decided to close my mouth with a passionate kiss. Probably, I've seen enough movies. This infuriated me even more! I expressed not only what I thought, but also what was not in my thoughts before. Since then, when we quarrel, there have been no attempts at physical intimacy on her part. Only tea with thyme and a balcony can truly calm me down. I inhale the aroma of herbs, warm my hands and look out the window.” Ivan, 23
Try the stomach route
It is known that men will eat anything as long as it is cooked for them. But what are their true tastes? We looked at 15 men's forums and collected statistics. There is no foie gras there (are you surprised?).
6% will be captivated by cake and sweet casserole.
Many men have a sweet tooth, so they will appreciate baked goods. But don’t expect to feed your loved one only cakes. This is not a full meal, but only a logical conclusion to the dinner.
15% can't resist pizza.
And the more homemade pizza differs from Italian pizza, the better. It will even forgive thick dough, as long as there is a lot of filling on top and cheese and mayonnaise! Almost all men adore this duo on pizza.
11% of respondents would prefer dumplings.
If your man sometimes feels nostalgic for traditions, don’t be lazy, start sculpting. He will appreciate it, even if it turns out a little crooked.
25% will be happy with borscht.
There is something mystical about it. Only those who don’t have a good relationship with boiled vegetables don’t like borscht. Or with mom.
43% of men will choose meat.
In any of its manifestations: fried, baked, stewed. The more impressive the piece, the better. By the way, chicken is not held in high esteem by meat eaters, so leave it as a strategic reserve for a rainy day.
Sometimes life presents a guy with unexpected and unpleasant surprises, and it is so important that in difficult times there is a person nearby who can provide such necessary support. Of course, in such moments, intuition comes to the aid of many women, but not always and not everyone will find the right words and way of communication.
In some cases, wanting to help and not understanding how to do it correctly, you can even harm and aggravate the already serious condition of a loved one. That's why it's so important to have an idea of how to support a guy and help him get through difficulties.
It’s easy for any girl to spot moments when her boyfriend is out of sorts. All people are different, and everyone needs their own approach, which a loved one can always feel. General rules of conduct will help you navigate difficult moments and provide such important support.
- Create a cozy home environment in which the guy can relax. Take care of him, cook his favorite dish, turn on good music, give him a relaxing massage, a bath with aromatic oils, or offer to watch an interesting movie. Leave him alone with himself or doing something he loves. It is important for the guy to feel that home is a place where he is loved, appreciated, welcomed and allowed to be himself.
- Exude optimism and confidence that all problems will be solved in the future, even if you yourself have a hard time believing it. The guy should feel your faith in him.
- Try to help with unobtrusive advice, smoothly lead him to solving the problem, or push him towards specific actions, but let him choose the solution himself.
- It is important for some people to take their mind off the problem for a while and switch their attention to something else, so suggest taking a walk in the park, going to the cinema or theater.
- For many people, it is important to speak out, after which the soul becomes lighter and options for solving the problem appear. In this case, become an attentive and patient listener, do not interrupt him and say a few words of encouragement at the end.
- Don’t let your boyfriend fall into long-term depression, support him psychologically, because love can work wonders, and tenderness and affection are its best helpers.
Tell him important words of encouragement that will help comfort him during difficult periods:
- It is not your fault;
- Your decision will certainly bear fruit;
- You will definitely succeed.
No matter how independent and strong a man is, he needs your support and expects it from you - be sensitive.
How not to behave
Many girls, sensing a guy’s bad mood and not understanding how to behave correctly, can cause even more harm in such situations. What can't you do?
Often relationships between two lovers collapse simply because the woman does not understand the differences between female and male psychology.
After all, in the life of any active man there are ups and downs, regardless of the current level of achievement, and it is important for him to extend a hand correctly in difficult times, taking into account the peculiarities of male psychology.
What to do if a man gives up? How to be useful to a guy? What to do if a man fails to achieve what he wants? I will reveal these and other subtleties in this article.
Classics of the genre
Honey, did something happen to you?
Nothing special…
Yes, I can read everything from your face and eyes! What's happened?
Calm down, everything is fine...
Are you, as usual, hiding something from me?! Let's confess!
So at one moment the girl uses all the dubious techniques: curiosity, raised tone, obsession, tense intonation, nagging. A whole portion of inappropriate behavior instead of basic words of support for your man.
And he is dejected, a dark streak has come in his life, a real “emotional pit” from which he cannot get out.
And the person closest to him, his woman, with the best intentions of supposedly “helping”, digs up the grave of the relationship. Although she herself doesn’t realize it, she tries with all her might to do something for the good.
Dear girls
, let me make a reservation right away, this is not your fault. You do the best you can. But…
If you want to most correctly support a man, so that the man leaves his “cave” as quickly as possible and at the same time begins, continue reading the article.
How to support a man competently and effectively?
1. Try to gently ask about his experiences
- without hysterical notes in the voice, without feline curiosity and the desire to “ask for the sake of asking.”
2. Listen
- peacefully, sincerely, with an understanding look and silent participation.
3. Express faith in him as a man
- truly, with optimism and motivation for his further victories.
4. Do not doubt that he will cope with any trouble and misfortune
- show steadfastness in your support, be unshakably confident in your hero.
5. Know and see him as the smartest man in the world
- without exaggeration, wanting to take the side of the one who always makes the right decisions.
Report from one of my training participants:
But what to do if all the tips listed do not work because the man has closed himself off and is annoyed by any of your attempts to “help”?
Expensive:). And when he finally comes out of his “bunker”, begin to lament joy and continue to love.
PS
I am not writing all this to make life easier for “poor men.”
Vice versa. This is part of what leads to a truly harmonious relationship, when the man is purposeful and successful, and the woman is happy, beautiful and protected. And love is long-lasting (and not the first - a month, a year or three).
That's all. Thank you for reading my works. Happiness and love to you.
Write in the comments what kind words do you have in your arsenal for your loved one?
Read the top materials on my blog:
Almost anything can throw a guy off balance: difficulties at work or school, traffic jams, and even the loss of his favorite sports team. If, despite all this, a man begins to take out his anger on you, do not be angry with him, but rather try to calm him down.
Current job as an au pair
Currently I work as an au pair for a very decent family. In the mornings I attend Norwegian language courses. Afterwards I prepare food for myself and the owner’s children, then pick them up from kindergarten. Before our parents arrive, we play together, walk, and read fairy tales.
I look after 4 year old twins who can be very noisy at times. In Norway it is illegal to punish children. My parents like the way I work. They just do everything for their children, even to the detriment of their own nerves. Of course, I could marry my boyfriend. As a result, I would automatically receive a residence permit, and Norwegian language courses would be free for me. But I'm not ready to take such a serious step yet.
You will need it
- Intuition, knowing the preferences of your own partner, patience, the ability to remain calm.
Find out the reason for your boyfriend's disgusting mood, and then try to remove it as best you can. For example, if he is hungry and cold, give him a warm bath, and then feed him a light, pleasant dinner consisting of his favorite dishes. Try to find interesting topics for conversation at the table that will help not only calm the guy down, but also lift his spirits. If you cannot remove the problem, distract the man from it, switch his attention to something else. For example, if he is not very tired, you can go for a walk together or go to the store.
Let your own man blow off some steam. Listen patiently to his tirade about the fact that half of the drivers bought their licenses not long ago, but haven’t learned to drive, and that the boss should choose the profession of a janitor and not pester smart people with his nit-picking. Under no circumstances should you argue or interrupt the guy, let him speak out. After which it will become even easier to calm him down.
Don't forget the importance of tactile contact. Pat the man on the head, hold his hand, and if he allows, you can also press him to your chest. With all this, there is no need to stop the guy from talking, so as not to anger him even more. Don't try to shut him up with a kiss, but rather just show compassion and a desire to help. If your man is very sensitive to affectionate touches, trying to calm him down completely can turn into lovemaking. This, by the way, is a very successful option with which you can quickly cheer up your boyfriend.
Gently change the topic of conversation, interest the man in something that is not related to his gloomy ideas. Tell me something funny, tell me some good news that won’t leave your boyfriend indifferent. You can also tell him about the surprise: for example, say that you are planning to go to the cinema with him to see a film that he wanted to watch. Intrusive, stupid chatter will not calm the guy down, but will only enrage him. There is no need to say a lot if you feel that the man wants to sit in silence.
Who among us hasn’t had a hard time at least once in our lives?
There are moments after which we despair and become hysterical.
.
In this case, it is important to have a person nearby who is ready to listen and support.
How to calm down a friend who broke up with her boyfriend, 10 words
Author: Site Administrator |
01/06/2017 To reassure a friend who broke up with her boyfriend, you need to sincerely put yourself in her position. I bring to your attention 10 perfect words. Use them!
She cries bitterly, confidently believing that the young man who left her will be the last.
This is what most lovely women believe, whom I am in a hurry to disappoint.
You will never be alone if you order yourself to live by your chosen rules.
Now calm your friend down by telling her simple words.
* Margot, you broke up with your boyfriend, but you cry as if you buried him.
* Calm down and soberly say that you deserve much more than what was offered to you.
* Now the most important thing is to pull yourself together and not withdraw into sobs. Over time, the sadness will subside.
* Zina, I am your friend who wants only the best. The one who treacherously left freed your life for a new date.
* Until you calm down, you won’t be able to face the truth. Parting takes with it the impending betrayal.
* You are now tormented by lost love, as I once was. Girlfriend, as you can see, scars don’t remain. I'm captivated by a real feeling.
* What leaves us does not break, but builds. New relationships, career, friendship and strong family. All this will become your property.
* I couldn’t calm down for a long time when Vadim left me. She sobbed and blamed herself for everything. And then I took it and fell in love.
* Come on, friend, stop being hysterical already. Instead of mourning a breakup, it’s better to put on makeup and run to the disco.
* There are people who need to be let go, and not try to bring them back or bring them to their senses. Your boyfriend is a sad experience, not your soulmate.
You just learned about what words to use to reassure a friend who has been abandoned by her beloved boyfriend.
Always support your friends in difficult times.
The material was prepared by me, Edwin Vostryakovsky.
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How to calm someone down?
Hysterical
How to calm a crying person? At times when a person has, you can resort to some measures that will help cope with this condition.
Depressed
It is very difficult to communicate with a person suffering from. After all, this is not just something that will linger for a few days, this condition can last for months
.
All you can do for a person is just to be there all the time, to go through this difficult path together.
Remember that assistance must be provided after the end of the “acute phase”
when a person feels better and gradually returns to life.
Be there all the time.
Even if it seems to you that the person does not need it and he does not understand at all that you are nearby.
Help him
. You will have to gather all your patience, refrain from giving any advice, a patient with depression absolutely does not need it.
Bring more light into his room, bring fresh flowers. Try cooking him his favorite food. Let him know that he is not alone and that he should not be afraid to be alone. Say nice things to him more often. Show more affection
, hug him.
The main thing is to be sincere.
Say only what you feel, don’t prevaricate. After all, the patient can understand this, and this will worsen his recovery.
What lifts a girl's mood? Find out about this from ours.
In anger
There are 4 main ways to help calm an angry person:
A person whose relative dies
How to calm a person who has lost a loved one? If you don’t and don’t know how to behave in such a situation, then it would be best to bring a person who has experienced this.
But the meeting needs to be organized unobtrusively
. Tell them carefully that there is a person with the same problem, and he will be able to help.
If a person is a believer, then you can turn to a priest for help. Help from a psychologist won't hurt either.
If you knew the deceased, then remember him together. If you have shared memories, now is the time to talk about them. Remember only positive moments
that brought you joy. And, of course, you only need to say good things.
Well, the most important thing: you just need to be there.
Be there and listen. Listen a lot
. You should not console and force to rejoice.
A person who has lost a loved one will cry and suffer, and will repeat the same thing over and over again. But you just need to listen to him.
Help with housework and other chores. It is important in this difficult period to just be there all the time
. A person should feel supported. This will be the best consolation.
Beloved
It is important for a loved one to know that you are nearby and ready to support him. Find out the reason why he is upset
, hug him. The main thing is to let him speak out.
Listen carefully to him, he needs to know that you are really interested in his problems, and not just pretending to be. Therefore, periodically repeating that you understand him.
Women or girls
Women tend to be more emotional than men. There are several ways to help them cope with hysteria.
How to calm a girl down if she's crying?
You don’t have to immediately find out the reason, you just need to come up and hug.
Stroke him on the head, kiss him gently and hold him close. Gently ask her what happened.
Under no circumstances should you laugh at her tears or the reason why she is crying, even if it seems frivolous to you. Show her your care and understanding.
Tell her only nice words. You can do something romantic or make an unexpected surprise.
How to calm your wife down?
Stay calm and reserved, no need to shout or try to prove anything.
During the period of hysteria, try to stay alone with your wife.
Try to talk, ask a distracting question, and then ask her what happened. Give her a big hug and only say nice things to her.
How to calm a girl down at a distance, for example, on VK?
It is much more difficult to calm a girl from a distance; if possible, call her, she should speak out, and you will comfort her with pleasant words and express your support to her.
If this is not possible, then write to her on VK and ask her to talk about the problems. Also write her words of encouragement.
How to calm down a girl who was dumped by her boyfriend?
First of all, make her go outside, you can go to some cafe or just into nature.
She will benefit from being around people rather than sitting in her room crying.
Don't leave her alone with your bad thoughts, distract her with something. But under no circumstances should you introduce her to someone right away, this will cause unpleasant associations and will not lead to anything good.
You shouldn’t say the phrase “You’ll find better,” it usually doesn’t help. Forget about alcohol, it will only make the situation worse; after drinking, her feelings will come over her and she may call her ex.
How to reassure a friend who has separated from her husband?
You need to be prepared for a huge flow of tears. The main thing is to listen and support. Bring lots of sweets, nothing like chocolate.
Make her go out for a walk. During a walk, you need to distract your friend with some topics.
You can together remember funny stories that happened to you during your friendship. You can go shopping together or have a spa break.
How to console a friend when she feels bad and nothing helps
Greetings, dear readers! Being a good friend means sharing not only happy and cheerful moments, but also being there when a person is feeling bad and needs support. Today I want to talk to you about how to comfort a friend when she is feeling bad.
Does she need help now?
Are you feeling good about your friend? Do you know when you should leave her alone and give her time to sort out her problems on her own? After all, this is a very important moment in friendship. Give time to be alone with yourself.
This happened to one of my clients. She went to another country for a month when her boyfriend left her, and upon returning she didn’t want to see anyone. The endless calls from her friends only irritated her, although she tried to make it clear that she needed to be alone.
It is very important to be able to feel this moment. If she doesn't want to see anyone right now, then leave her alone for a while. But she should know that you are always there, that you can meet and talk with her at any time. Be sure to call or write to her periodically. Ask how she's doing, if she wants to meet. Not too often, but not so infrequently that you think you don't care.
This period will definitely end. And your task is to wait patiently for him. But what if you're on the phone and can't stop her from getting hysterical? The most effective way is to tell her not to do anything and that you will come to her now.
Let me cry
After you come to her aid, try to communicate with her as calmly as possible. Although your negative reaction towards the guy who dumped her or cheated on her can be beneficial.
Sometimes it happens that a girl cries and it cannot be stopped with words or actions. She just needs to let her emotions out. You can hold her hand or move her through her hair, and give her a glass of cool water.
If the hysteria is getting worse and you know it's time to stop, you can try making her laugh. Laughter very quickly switches a person from a negative emotion. Remember an old funny story from your common past. Or tell me a ridiculous situation that happened to you. Got a smile on your face? Already good.
Keep painkillers with you, because strong hysterics and tears cause headaches. Brew soothing tea, invite her to take a bath or just take a contrast shower.
Destroying the past
In my practice, getting rid of things from the past has almost always been helpful. One day I came to visit a friend who had broken up with her boyfriend. He threw her very ugly and harshly. We collected all his things, sweaters, documents, blankets and bags. She cut one shirt with scissors, we unraveled the others into threads. Some things were burned in an iron basin. (I just ask you to remember the safety measures).
Such actions help release negative energy. Put a bold point. Remember, now your friend is somewhat unreasonable and can ruin really necessary and useful things. For example, when my friend and I burned her ex’s things, I took a brand new microwave and took a bunch of dishes to the dacha. Maybe some of his things can be sold and get some proceeds?
Of course, the most rational thing would be to simply collect all the things and give them to the owner. Even if your girlfriend doesn’t date him, take this task upon yourself. Act according to the circumstances.
One of my clients still finds her ex’s things in her apartment and immediately falls into apathy. Help your friend get rid of such reminders.
New impressions
New emotions and vivid impressions are a great way to distract yourself. Buy tickets to another city, go on amusement rides, ride horses, go on speed dates, or just get drunk and go to a bar. That's what you need a friend to understand at what moment what to do.
The girl should feel attention, care and support from you. Do not care for her too much, because such strong care can only aggravate the matter. A person must be able to cope with difficulties and experience pain. Be there and help her cope with the situation on her own.
You can suggest that she read my blog. At a minimum, the following articles will be useful to her: “What to do when everything is bad and a bad streak has come,” “What to do if your personal life is not working out” or “What to do if a guy has stopped loving you.”
Be there for her if she needs it. Listen more, let her talk and cry. Protect her from rash actions, offer to unwind and have fun. Sometimes it's enough to just sit at home with a carton of ice cream, a bottle of whiskey and the movie Bridget Jones's Diary.
How do your friends help you cope with grief? What exactly will help you forget your ex and start a new life? What should you not do when a woman cries?
I wish you to find the very right words to reassure and support your friend. I am sure that everything will work out for you!
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