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Chapter from the book “Etiquette of Love Relationships”
Larisa Gorodetskaya
Talking on the phone The phone is ringing. You pick up the phone. Say: “al-lo” and shut up, take a break. Give the caller a chance to introduce himself. If the young man didn’t tell you how he got your phone, be sure to ask.
Speak kindly, he's not under interrogation.
Unfortunately, most often someone else's call comes at an inopportune hour. He's comfortable. And you? Not always!
The options are:
*You quickly got your bearings, organized a “conversation zone” (went out into the corridor, closed the door to your room).
*You are confused and don’t know what to do. A friend is visiting, my parents are watching TV.
Now everything depends on your general decision.
All options require a polite, supportive response. The interlocutor is not humiliated or offended.
Option one: You don't want to get acquainted. There is no need to ask for forgiveness, reassure, or give hope that everything can change.
Option two: You want to continue the conversation at a time convenient for you. You say: “Thank you for calling. I'm busy right now. Can we talk to you tomorrow at seven o'clock?"
Option three: You can continue the conversation now. Your voice sounds kind, nothing more. When addressing your interlocutor by name, do not put excessive tenderness or coquetry into this magic word. At the end of the conversation, if you decide that the acquaintance is not worth continuing, advances in the form of endearing words (Vovochka, my friend, my joy) will confuse you and it will not be easy to “send off” the disgruntled young man.
What is your first conversation about?
The young man made inquiries before calling. He knows, at least approximately, how old you are, what you do, whether you have children. The primary information suits him. And he calls. And you're in an awkward position.
Rules of good manners do not recommend conducting an “interrogation.” But I don’t want to have a conversation with “Mr. X”. It’s great if the interlocutor explained where he got your phone number from. This will help you get your bearings. What will you do?
Right! Ask to call back. If the young man is smart, understands why you don’t want to continue the conversation and is ready to introduce himself, great! Say a few encouraging words; in a humorous conversation you can find out everything that interests you, but don’t cross the line: his salary is sacred.
It's your turn. Present yourself from the best side. Forget about impromptu. Prepare an advertising text that is short, truthful and laudatory.
The key to this work will be the word "OPTIMISM". Don’t be shy to gently praise yourself. This is an advertisement! How can you say that there is no work, but only odd jobs, the child often catches colds and there is no one to leave him with?
Prepare yourself mentally. It has long been known: people set themselves up in different ways and achieve different results. And we need a victory!
Be prepared: they may ask you “tricky” questions, can you guess what they are?
Make a list of such questions and prepare an answer. This does not have to be an answer in the literal, concrete sense of the word. A funny joke, a witty anecdote, a counter question will do - a wonderful move.
How long does the first conversation last?
The purpose of dialogue is to awaken the imagination. Can it last long? Of course not! Much must remain unsaid, behind the scenes. Remember this. Leave the “zest” (you sing well, swim well, cook, tourist, poet) for dessert, i.e. for the second conversation.
A few words about the quality of oral speech
You yourself understand how important it is to speak competently and beautifully. I will refer to Korney Chukovsky: “... our speech, better than any passport, determines the personality of any of us. Let a stranger enter my room, from his speech in the first ten minutes I will determine his spiritual biography and see whether he is a well-read person, whether he moves in a cultural environment...”
According to etiquette, the person who started it should end the conversation.
Usually this is a gentleman. He has a set of standard phrases: “It was nice to meet you. It’s inconvenient to detain you.” And finally, “Can I call again?”
Watch your back. You can’t answer: “I don’t even know... courses on Monday... lecture on Tuesday... hairdresser on Wednesday. Call between three and half past three.” You can't answer like that! Prepare, think and say: “Is it convenient for you on Wednesday at seven o’clock? Amazing!".
Your friend wants to call again, have a heart-to-heart talk, and find out something. And he doesn’t ask for a date. And I really want to hear recognition and an invitation to a meeting! Did he really seem like an interesting person to you, or was your pride hurt? Be patient. The second conversation serves as a prelude to the date.
https://www.russianwomenmagazine.com/russian/love/phone.htm
Why don't men like to talk on the phone?
Most girls love to talk on the phone, but they forget that men do not always share this hobby. So why do many men hate talking on the phone?
You love to talk on the phone, but the man next to you may not like to talk for long periods of time. And almost always the girl assumes that this is because the man does not love her, but of course, this is complete nonsense.
So let's educate all the girls about the real reason - why men don't like to talk on the phone for a long time, even with the girl they really like.
Attitude towards telephone calls
The difference between men and women in relation to phone calls - for a man, a phone call is an opportunity to discuss a current problem, while for a girl, a phone call is an opportunity to discuss pressing problems, the weather, a new scarf and much more. . It is enough for a man to quickly and dryly outline the essence of the problem, or arrange a meeting, and he discusses all the nuances during a personal meeting.
Ignorance - what to say
It’s simply difficult for many men to talk on the phone for a long time, because there comes a moment when he simply doesn’t know what to say, and the pauses drag on. Men, by nature, are more prone to silence than to constant “chirping.” And women also love the phrase: “say something.” You can’t imagine anything more stupid, and if your chosen one is not talkative by nature, then such a request is simply terrible for him.
Inability to express emotions through facial expressions
Think for yourself, but what can a man answer you after your half-hour monologue about a difficult day at work? Most likely he will throw up his hands and say “uh-huh.” Please note that when communicating in person, a man often responds with facial expressions, this makes it easier for him to maintain a conversation, but there is no way to do this over the phone, so he has to constantly strain and gets tired quickly.
The male brain cannot understand that a lot can change in an hour.
It is difficult for men to understand why you ask on the phone: “what are you doing now?”, or “how are you?”, especially if you broke up an hour ago, or have already managed to ask these questions several times a day.
Of course, a woman’s life is much more exciting and she can spend hours telling her friend the news on the phone, although they broke up an hour ago.
He has more important things to do
Are you surprised to hear this? Of course, a man has more important things to do than just sit and chat with a woman, especially if you actively call during work hours.
He may have a meeting, reports, negotiations. And in principle, not all companies encourage employees to talk on their personal phones during working hours.
He doesn't love you
This is the last reason not to answer calls. Most women believe that this is the main reason, but in fact, it is the last reason for a man to avoid talking.
Perhaps when you were just starting to date, he talked to you for a long time, and now that your relationship has moved to a more serious level, the man tries to avoid long communication. Why? It’s just that while he was conquering you, he tried, made efforts on himself, and now, when you are conquered, he becomes himself and no longer wants to make efforts.
And you cannot but agree that a conversation with a loved one in person is much more pleasant than dry communication on the phone. We recommend the article “ten secrets of a happy relationship”.
The article was prepared by the I’ll-be-married website team.
Category: Dating. Tags: man doesn't like to talk on the phone
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How to make a pen pal fall in love with you in 1 day: psychology
This applies not only to everyday problems, career and politics, but also to love. Gone are the days when a girl waited for the she liked to take the first step towards her; now everything has changed: if a girl likes a young man, she will do everything in her power to ensure that he is in her power.
Through trial and error, the fair sex has invented a whole science that teaches us how to properly lure guys into women's networks, and plus everything, they have described these methods in a large number of books. Therefore, after reading all the information offered and analyzing it, you can safely take the first step towards your love. So, if a girl is faced with the problem: “How to make a guy fall in love with you,” then she has already answered the main question: “You can make a guy fall in love with you.” And to do this, you don’t need to go to extremes and resort to various conspiracies and love spells; it’s enough to understand male psychology and know what a guy really wants from his chosen one, what she should be like, and what qualities should prevail in her. Dear girls, do you know that there are only a few feminine qualities that, according to guys, simply must be present in the girl they love. And your chosen one is no exception. If you have these qualities, put them on display, and if not, then try to develop them.
The first quality is femininity. if you are a feminine person by nature, half the battle is already done, since this is the quality that first of all attracts a guy. Femininity makes girls weak, defenseless and tender, so he is a strong and courageous male next to you, you please his pride, and he likes it. The second quality is sexuality. and this quality is not inferior to the head of the primacy of femininity.
Your appearance, gait, movements should be sexy, but not vulgar! If he follows you with his eyes, you are on the right path. If your style is wide pants and a huge T-shirt, urgently change your image. Of course, you want to surprise him with your rich inner world, but remember the old and wise proverb: “They meet you by their clothes.” And you will show your rich inner world when you want him to become your husband and father of your children, but for now let’s focus on appearance. And finally, the third quality is wit.
But don’t get confused, a girl should not be smart, but witty - these are two different qualities. If you are smart, you will simply scare him off right away and achieve nothing, but with your wit you will make him fall in love with you. What do you need? Share his views on this or that problem and laugh at his jokes. Understand from half a word what he is talking about, and, if possible, finish his sentences for him, as well as predict his every desire. But do not indulge his desires, but predict so that he understands how much you suit each other.
Logically, it is impossible to make a guy fall in love with you in a day, but there is no limit to perfection. What does it mean to fall in love? This is to make a person think about you, dream and desire. This means that if time is short and you only have one day, your maximum task is to make a positive impression on the guy, so that he wants to see you again. To do this, we call on all the female heavy artillery for help: a beautiful black dress, stiletto heels, perfume, preferably with pheromones. Don’t forget about the femininity and sexuality described above.
Unobtrusively, but confidently let him know that you like him, start a conversation with him first, having previously found out what topics he likes to talk about, so as not to get into an awkward situation.
But, don’t make the main mistake of most girls - don’t open up to him on the first evening. This, by the way, also includes intimacy. You can believe that he will immediately lose interest in you, and you will also consider you easily accessible. There should be a mystery left in you, and he should want to solve it. Instructions: How to make a guy fall in love with you ...you must be completely helpless, but you shouldn’t pretend to be a stone wall either, this is a proven way to make a guy fall in love with you... Let the man feel like a protector next to you, because men need this.
https://vk.com/page-25064892_44302127 How to make a pen pal fall in love with you: remember the main rules ...the acquaintance happened offline, young people find each other on social networks or other Internet resources and start or continue communicating there, the majority relationships today begin by correspondence... Communication by correspondence leaves its mark, especially since modern letters cannot by any means be called an example of the epistolary genre; it is unlikely that any of the young people will admire a long letter about the weather, their mood, internal experiences. https://onwomen.ru/kak-vlyubit-v-sebya-parnya-po-perepiske.html
How to make a man fall in love with you on the Internet, at work: psychological techniques and advice ... one thing: each of us so badly wants the one whom our heart has chosen to reciprocate our feelings, no matter what tricks lovely ladies go to in order to attract the attention of their objects... What what you need to do and what mistakes to avoid, let's figure it out. https://webdiana.ru/dom-i-semya/otnoshenia/9651-kak-vlyubit-v-sebya-muzhchinu.html
