And then sneeze loudly and demonstratively.
Now let's see how to react correctly. And it seems to me that all these situations with bullying teach us love and respect for ourselves. After all, what’s inside is what’s outside. Now take a closer look at those who are prone to embarrassment and complex when ridiculed with mockery. But you can approach the situation creatively. Imagine a hedgehog that released its thorns out of fear. So it is with the offender. The “Psychological Aikido” and “Calm” methods also help well.
Exaggerated Delight
Say that you are simply delighted with this joke and ask to joke again. Maybe your interlocutor can say something even more offensive and funny?
The reaction to offensive jokes should largely depend on who is telling them to you. If this is a loved one who has never acted this way before, simply say that you are uncomfortable and ask why the other person is behaving this way. If communicating with a joker is not valuable to you, simply cut off contact.
one has the right to insult you and violate the boundaries of your personality!
How to respond to ridicule correctly
Sticks and stones can break bones, but words can hurt just as much when you're the parent of a child with special needs.
"Your child talks funny"
"He's so weird"
"What happened to this child?"
"Why is he doing this?"
These unpleasant conversations may come from other children, other parents, or random people in the community who know nothing about children and their development.
The fact of the matter is that we humans laugh at what we do not understand. And we tend to judge others based on our own narrow views of the world. This means that our precious children who have special needs will be abused. They will be teased. And they may even mock you.
As a parent, you want to protect your child from any harm, and it's difficult to know what to do in a situation like this. Are you ignoring it? Are you answering something?
I'm a parent and my child has dysarthria, so I know what it is and what you're going through. My advice on how to deal with bullying is based on my own experience. It's not a perfect plan, but it's a plan. Take from this what will help you and your child, and leave what does not correspond to your beliefs. But I sincerely hope that this will help you deal with such difficult situations:
Your child is watching your reaction
When someone says something negative about your child in front of you, your child probably doesn't know how to react. At this point, he will monitor your response. And how you react to the situation will tell him a lot. He will tell him what you think of him (even if he is wrong). He will also tell him what he should do if such a situation arises when you are not around.
Let's imagine that someone says to you: “Your child speaks funny.” Your child will look at you and watch your reaction. If you ignore the comment and don't say anything about it, your child may think that means you also think what he says is funny and that you are ashamed of him. This can create feelings of guilt in your child, which can really affect them.
Whatever you decide, you must do something! If you decide to ignore a stranger's comments, that's completely normal. However, if you don't respond to a stranger, you should respond to your child. You can wait to do this until you are alone, but you must explain to him why you didn't say anything. You can tell him that these kinds of comments don't deserve a response because they are disrespectful, or for any other reason why you ignored the comment.
But then be sure to follow up by talking to your child about what was said and how you feel about it. Be honest with your child. If he sounds funny, you can say, “I know some speech sounds are difficult for us to pronounce, and it's not our fault. But we are working really hard with speech therapy and I am so proud of our progress! Besides, we're really good (for example) at basketball, and there are a lot of people who have problems with that."
Your reaction not only tells your child what you think about him, but also shows him what to do in similar situations. If you think it's best for your child to ignore comments like these, show them how to ignore them (instead of getting angry). If you think it's better for your child to respond to comments like these, then you should show your child how to do it. There is no right or wrong here. Each child needs a different approach, so decide what will work for your child.
What should you say in response to something negative?
You don't have to say anything to the speaker if you don't want to. You can tastefully ignore the rudeness and reassure your child that you don't think less of him because of it. However, you can also say something back. It shouldn't just be so you can get revenge and feel better about yourself. Think of it as a way to show your child how he might react in the future. Make sure you are polite and respectful in your response. If you're just being nice to them, they'll probably feel bad about their comments!
1. Try to give some information
Let's go back for a moment to the definition of how easy it is to make fun of things we don't understand. Chances are, rude comments or questions are probably happening because they don't understand. Think about it, if the mother of a child with autism saw another autistic child, she wouldn't say "what's wrong with that child?" No, she is more likely to give this parent solidarity or a sympathetic view of understanding the matter.
If someone says something negative, try telling them what's going on with your child. If it's a different child, use simple language that can help them understand why your child sounds, looks, or acts differently. If it's an adult, talk to them the same way you would talk to a friend about what's going on.
2. Explain that your child is doing things differently.
When you tell the other person what's going on, you don't have to say that there's something wrong with your child. You can describe how your child does things differently. If your child is in a wheelchair, you can say, “You move using your legs, but his legs don't work like yours. He moves around using these wheels." If you have a child with autism who is stimulating by looking at his fingers, you can say, “He has autism. This means that he studies things differently and he sees things differently. To him, his fingers look really cool when he looks at them like that."
You can also explain that your child is still learning a certain skill. If a child asks why he continues to hug him, you can say, for example: “Seryozha is still learning to talk to children. Since he doesn't always know what to say, he hugs people instead. It's his way of saying hi." This way, you explain what your child is doing differently, but don't tell your child as if you think he made a mistake.
3. Highlight what your child does well.
Since you are now spending time talking about what is different about your child from the norm, you should be sure to talk about what your child does well. If your child only hears you talk about negativity, that's all he will think about himself. I recommend having at least a few different positive things you can say about your child being ready to go at all times, just in case. Think about it in advance so you don't have to think about it.
Creating a Broad Understanding
Information may be all it takes to stop someone's comments, questions, or name-calling. Once people understand what's going on and get to know your child as a person, they are much less likely to single him out for ridicule. Of course, there will always be people who will continue to be rude, and this is a great time to teach your child the ability to ignore. However, most people will change their tune with little insight into the situation. This is especially true for children. Many children will stand up for their special needs friend if others accept him, but only if they are given the opportunity to understand and love him first.
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How to stop ridicule directed at you
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Many people in life became outcasts in society. Some people manage to get rid of ridicule, while others have to pull the burden of an oppressed hermit all their lives.
In order to understand why exactly your person was the object of ridicule, you need to understand what is so special about you that makes those around you catch on. But this is your charm, your zest, if everyone cares about you, then you are a special person. It would be worse if you were just an empty place that no one pays attention to when passing by.
- Raise your head higher, look around you, everyone around you is equally gray, but you stand out from the whole crowd, take it as your dignity.
- Do not give energy to your scoffers, do not respond to their provocations. Try to ignore them. And if they don't stop tugging at you, then you're really popular. Or maybe they have reason to be jealous?
- There is no need to withdraw into yourself, letting them know that their bullying oppresses you and makes you unhappy, make fun of them. For example: “Well, I see you have trouble sleeping at night, you don’t know how to wait until the morning to see my person and shower me with compliments!”
- Just don’t pay them in the same coin. Don't stoop to their level. This is not a way out of this situation. If you can’t bear it, just throw out your emotions away from their sight, shout in a forest park or speak out with a pen, by writing on paper. Write what you want about them, paper will bear everything.
- If it happens that the mocker is your friend, you need to talk to him about it. Tell him that this makes you uncomfortable. That his jokes are inappropriate. Sometimes, the offender is not pursuing an obsession to mock you, but simply made an inappropriate joke, and the conflict will be settled.
- You can try to look at yourself from the outside and laugh at yourself with them. Humor will de-escalate the situation and make you stronger. And behind the curtain of self-irony, shortcomings will become invisible.
- Turn their attacks into absurd situations. That is, you need to learn to beat their ridicule right away. Just assent to their stupid attacks or mock them out loud, give them free rein in their statements. And with each new attack, their aggressive ridicule will become more and more ridiculous and absurd. They will fail, and you will emerge victorious.
- Be unpredictable. Offenders, as a rule, know the outcome of the upcoming conflict, predicting your behavior. There is no need to be offended and avoid ridicule, swallowing tears. Be different in every attack. Ignore them once, just laugh in their face another time, this will unsettle them, and the third time give them a good slap in the face.
- It often happens that among a group of scoffers there is a main instigator who launches slander. It is important to understand that this is just slander and nothing more. The main thing is not to believe these stories yourself. Maintain a pure mind. Don't fall for their labeling. You can try to justify yourself to the team by presenting credible arguments, but if the first time you didn’t manage to convince the team that they are slandering you, you don’t need to justify yourself to them anymore and you don’t need to prove anything to these scoffers. Behave with dignity, remain calm and respectful of everyone around you. Speak evenly, do not show your emotions. And gradually the passions will subside, and the main scoffer will lose strength in the gift of persuasion and imposing his slander on you. The team will calm down, and the wave of indignation against you will break your calm.
Only by applying these tips can you suppress the aggressive attitude and ridicule of the instigator. By responding to attacks with the same attitude, you will only submit to his wishes, because this is exactly what the mocking aggressor expects from you, otherwise there would be no point in touching you.
