Prepare for a conversation with your spouse about children
Think about what you will say. In what order? Gather the arguments you will use. And also think about other features of the conversation.
The conversation about having a child is a very important one. It needs to be thought through to the smallest detail. So that it becomes effective and bears fruit. Led to what I wanted. To ensure that the husband agrees to have a child.
It is not recommended to start a conversation unprepared. You won't be able to influence your husband enough by improvising. It will be quite difficult to do this without preparation.
Talk to your spouse regularly about the child.
This will help work through it. It is necessary to plant in his head the idea that doing this is necessary. Also, if you talk to your husband regularly, it will have a positive effect on him.
He will understand that dialogues about this will take place every week. As a result, he will be able to prepare for the next conversation. Prepare a series of arguments why he is against having a child. And also think through some theses. As a result, it will be easier for you to understand how to convince him of the need to have a child. Because you will hear his position.
Talk to your spouse about what they are afraid of.
If your spouse is afraid to have children, then talk to him about the reasons for this decision. It is quite possible that he has some concerns. Your job is to find out which ones. And then work through them. Explain that these fears will have nothing to do with real life.
For example, a spouse may be afraid of:
- Responsibility.
- Problems with money.
- Moving away from you.
And other consequences of having a child. At this stage, you will need to listen as carefully as possible to your spouse's thoughts. And try to understand him.
Keep in mind that your spouse is a person just like you. He has the right to independently decide whether to have children or not. If he doesn't want a baby, then don't put pressure on him. This issue can only be resolved through dialogue.
Listen to what your spouse says
During the conversation, be sure to listen to your spouse’s arguments. Chances are you won't be happy with what he says. However, it is still very important to do this.
At this stage, you need to find out why your spouse does not want to have a baby. Let him speak. Do not argue under any circumstances. Also, there is no need to interrupt your spouse. If something said makes you angry, take a few deep breaths. And calm down. It is pointless to continue talking about the child in a raised voice.
Tell your spouse about your concerns
Share your concerns with your spouse. And also fears. These actions will allow you to be open with your spouse. Also, this will allow your husband to understand that you feel the same. If he understands that he is not alone, he will be able to have a child more easily. And he won’t have to be pushed into it for too long.
Talk to your spouse about finances
Explain to your spouse that having a child will not put too much strain on your family's finances. In fact, this problem is quite important. And it becomes the main reason why many families do not want to have a child.
It is very easy to mitigate the problem. Explain to your husband that you can feed your child. Because you earn decent money together with him. Which is quite enough to support the baby.
Explain to your spouse that there is no point in delaying the birth of a child.
Tell your spouse that, unlike men, women have certain recommended dates for having children. Explain that the older you get, the harder it is to have a baby. And the more difficult it is to bear it.
You can put a little pressure on your spouse. Say that you need to give birth in the near future. Otherwise, in a few years you will lose this opportunity.
How to persuade your husband to have a third child, advice from a psychologist
Relationships » Seduction » How to persuade your husband to have a third child, advice from a psychologist
In this article, psychologist Anna Evlitskaya answers the question “How to persuade your husband to have a third child with the advice of a psychologist?”
Pregnancy and childbirth. Forum for parents with many children
Pregnancy and childbirth ⇒ How to persuade your husband to have a third child?
And, of course, there is absolutely no confidence in the future.
I noticed a long time ago that if you dream about something very much, if you think about it, it will definitely come true sooner or later.
So, I hope our dreams will come true.
I really liked the verse!
I have three of them. I don’t have much. I eat in the kitchen standing up so that no one touches me.
I don’t iron clothes or wash floors. And I even serve the second one for dinner.
I can dress according to a burning match; Nurse a cat like a baby out of habit.
I know how to build a tower and a car. I know how to arrange a name day for dolls.
I can make a train from a bedspread. She became a hundred years smarter in three years.
We build our happiness in a small apartment. I have three of them. I want four...
. There will be four, maybe even five. If only I had enough strength to lift the kids!
Just so as not to break down, just not to get tired, I have four, but I want five!
I want health, peace and love, I want patience, I want wisdom!
I have six of them, maybe that’s a lot, If I say it’s awkward, don’t judge strictly.
Life, of course, is difficult, time is running out, You should have a schedule, but it turns out - without.
It seems like you get up early, but someone has already gotten up, And in line to wash, and whoever is too young to wash.
I can’t even count the bicycles, there are only about five in the corridor.
And the kitchen is cramped, everyone can’t sit at the table, The bedroom is like a cabin - a two-story dream.
And although I sometimes scold children, If anything happens, I will stand up for each one.
. So, again in the kitchen someone slammed a cup! It may be difficult with them, but without them it’s BAD!
I have six of them, maybe the count is over, I have six of them, AND I WANT MORE.
Our seventh miracle was born in the summer. - Now that's enough for you!? - I hear it from everywhere
- How will you feed them? - We feed little by little.
For lunch we cooked half a bucket of potatoes.
We keep the green stuff in a two-liter jar. If we shout together, we can hear it on Grazhdanka.
We do lessons strictly according to the program. The school programs are all familiar to my mother.
There are never too many or few children, children are all relatives, children are all from God.
People sigh after that - mother gives in! I don’t have much yet, I want twins.
Experienced mothers say that it is easiest with the third child - the elders are already starting to help, and you know very well what to do with the baby, what difficulties there may be, how to treat it, and everything like that. Yes, and somehow calmer.
True, sometimes various difficulties arise. Fear of another birth or cesarean, especially if the previous ones were not very successful. The age is over 30-35 years, when a woman is considered already pregnant and is at greater risk for her health. A husband who doesn't want any more children.
How to deal with all this? How to decide on a third child after 35 years? There are answers and ways!
Third child. Problems and doubts
What to do if you already have two grown children, enough money to support them, and want another baby?
Thoughts arise - do we need this at all? There are already two, where else. But mental tossing is not everything. There are other problems, for example:
- Late pregnancy. After 35 years of age, pregnancy can be a big challenge for your health. More risks appear;
Therefore, you need to plan it very carefully, take vitamins in advance and check the condition of your body by taking tests and going through specialists (read the current article: How to prepare for pregnancy?>>>).
- Two Caesareans. Doctors say that it is dangerous to do a caesarean section several times, maximum 2-3;
How to decide on a third cesarean section? Of course, now medicine is at a high level, but, unfortunately, mainly in large developed cities. True, if more than 5 years have passed since the last birth, there is nothing to be afraid of. You can find a good clinic in advance and arrive there in advance, having agreed with experienced specialists.
- Health problems. Any chronic disease is an additional risk for a pregnant woman. And after 30-35 years, age-related ailments are also added. And here nothing can be predicted in advance.
But a woman has a maternal instinct inherent in her nature. And now you have already decided, despite all doubts, to give birth to a third one.
Husband is against it
You’ve decided – and you’re happy to tell your spouse. And he suddenly declares that he doesn’t want any more children! How to persuade your husband to have a third child? How to convey to him the importance of this? In order not to quarrel and achieve your goal, you need patience and feminine cunning.
Here are tips that will help not just persuade your spouse, but make him confident that this is his decision:
If you do everything correctly, the result will be your husband's consent. At the same time, he will be sure that he came up with everything himself and persuaded you. You need to achieve your goal correctly!
I don’t have a daughter, for some reason. I dream about her every minute. Not a day goes by, Not a night goes by, So that I don’t think: I don’t have a daughter! There are no long eyelashes, There are no braids with bows Braided by mother's Gentle hands. There is not enough pink color and plush toys in the house - Daughter, where are you!? I have two sons - Two masculine principles, Like two constellations I pulled from heaven.
I have two sons - two mighty wings. With them I freely disperse the clouds. I have two sons - my pride and joy, but I still really need my daughter. Dad doesn't understand Mom's suffering. He has no desire to become a father-in-law. In a dream you come to your mother in the middle of the night, In the morning I remember: “I don’t have a daughter.”
I'm waiting for you, baby, And I silently dream that my daughter will be next to me And dad will be very happy too When they say on the phone:
“Congratulations. Daughter."
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Source: https://muzhchina-zhenshchina.ru/soblaznenie/kak-ugovorit-muzha-na-tretego-rebenka-sovety-psihologa
Start preparing the ground for further pregnancy
Mention your baby regularly when talking about your husband's hobbies.
Most male representatives dream of giving birth to an heir. To teach him your hobbies. And also to make sure that the child achieves the dream that the man failed to achieve.
This is a great reason to mention the baby. Always when your husband is engaged in his favorite hobby, remind him of your child. For example, you might say, “It would be great if we had a son and you could teach him how to fix a car.” Or “But if we had a son, you could go fishing with him.” And so on.
It is possible that such conversations will have a positive effect on your spouse. He will listen to your recommendations. And, as a result, it will be easier to perceive the information you give him. Perhaps this will force him to have a child.
Discuss the prospects with your spouse
Talk with your spouse about what prospects await you after the baby is born. Discuss how your family's life will change. Talk about how your spouse will teach your child to drive a car in the future. How to send him to school. And so on.
be patient
Be sure to be patient with your husband. It will take time for him to make a decision about the child. During which he will consider your proposal.
Give your spouse some time to think. It is quite possible that in a few days he will tell you good news. And he will say that he is ready.
What should you not do to encourage your spouse to have a child?
There is a list of prohibited activities that you should not do if you want to have a child. Let's look at them.
Continue using contraception
A huge number of women make a serious mistake when they think that a child can be forced on a man. Some girls specifically refuse to use contraceptives. And they “accidentally” get pregnant.
The girls who did this think that now everything will be fine. That the spouse will accept the child. And he will continue to live with them.
In reality, the situation in most cases turns out to be different. The couple is furious. And they begin to have a negative attitude towards the girl. Hate her and the child. As a result, divorce may occur. We do not recommend letting it get to this point. Because in the end it will be bad for both you and the child. But a positive result will not be achieved.
Don't put too much pressure on your husband
Talking about children around the clock is strictly not recommended. Conversations on this topic should be held. But not too often. The spouse should have the opportunity to take a break from them. Otherwise, he will start avoiding you.
If you talk about having children too often, it will have the opposite effect. The man can't stand the pressure. And she won’t want a baby even more.
Enjoy your current family life
There is no need to force your spouse to do anything. This will affect him negatively. On the contrary, you need to enjoy what you have at the moment. Enjoy life and love your husband. Periodically have conversations with him about the child.
If your spouse is satisfied with everything about you, then he will easily want a child. He agrees to start him. And it won’t be difficult to persuade him to do this.
On whom does the child's health depend?
Who has the greatest influence on a child's health when conceiving a child: a man or a woman?
The man has a greater influence on the health of the unborn child. Under no circumstances should you drink alcohol or smoke before having sex or conceiving a child. Moreover, the child will be healthy and strong if the man and woman abstain from smoking and alcohol for at least 2 weeks before conceiving the baby.
In addition, 3 weeks before conceiving a child, it would be a good idea to balance your diet and replenish your body with the necessary vitamins and microelements.
