How to start a new life after a breakup
Life is unpredictable. Just yesterday you were warmed by a gentle gaze, and a touch caused a happy shiver. And today you suddenly hear that it’s time for you to part ways forever. And no amount of persuasion can keep a loved one, and tears are useless... And is there any point in this? Cracks will remain on the glued vase and, every time you see it, you will think that it was once broken. And it’s the same in relationships—it’s impossible to forget. Each of you, even if you try to restore what was destroyed, will think that there could have been another way and, perhaps, regret that you did not take that path, blaming your soul mate for this.
Parting... It hurts. Always. Both. And it doesn’t matter at all which of you left. Don't think that the decision was easy for him/her. The longer and deeper the relationship, the more painful it was. But you need to live. You need to think about how to start a new life after a breakup.
The question is really difficult. And for some reason it seems that behind the door that closes behind you, there is no life at all. She was here, next to her loved one. Yesterday you cooked dinner together. And they burned it. Because suddenly there was no time for dinner...
And today you have become distant. At that very moment when they promised each other to remain friends. Paradox. A friend who once betrays immediately becomes an enemy, and a loved one who betrays becomes a friend. For what merit is this honor given? Think about it, but only later. And now we will think about how to start a new life after a divorce.
Believe me, it's easier than it seems now. There are certain rules written by life itself. There is no need to rush between hatred and love. Indifference is clear between them. If the door is closed, don't come back, don't knock on it, don't open it. Otherwise, after a very short time you will again be haunted by the thought of how to start a new life.
Take a breath. It's already happened. If moving to another city is not possible, leave at least for a while. Well, for example, buy a ticket. Walk in unfamiliar places. All day or all night. To the point of exhaustion. It's good if someone else goes with you. Just not a mutual friend or girlfriend.
How to start a new life? I will answer: from new impressions. And the phone will not help you with this. Turn it off. Create an information blockade. Don't wait for him/her to call. And even if he suddenly gets through, answer that you cannot talk. Don't continue the conversation. It will be hard. Very. You will desperately want to complete what was left unsaid or simply hear your painfully familiar voice. No need.
Talking to family friends won't do any good either. How can they help you? Should I remind you once again that it already hurts? Ignore friends. At least for now. Get rid of things bought by your now ex-other half. Well, for example, exchange jewelry for others, even with an additional payment. Don’t re-watch films that you both watched with such pleasure.
Change. How to start a new life if you don’t want to part with the old one? Change your clothing style, hairstyle, accessories. Forget about dull black or gray. This is not your color!
Increase your tone. Become a regular at the gym and swimming pool. This will not only distract you and let off the steam that is ready to escape, but will also get you in shape. And don’t forget about the orange juice after class. Learn to please yourself with little things. Just don’t eat the negativity with pies. You won’t spoil your figure because of someone who abandoned you, will you?
Get carried away. I don’t know what you were thinking, but passion won’t hurt here. Any. Try to revive your dreams. Maybe you wanted to dance tango? Or paint pictures? It's time. No one will distract you and say: “You move like a bear. And you won’t become Picasso.”
Analyze. Don't scold him/her. Think about yourself, your mistakes. You must clearly understand: self-analysis will protect you from further mistakes.
How to start a new life? You've already done it. Parting is the beginning of a new life that you have entered. Don't start it with tears. The reason is, of course, respectful. I want to cry? Allow yourself this. But only once. Enough. And then - “tail with a pistol.” The only way. No drugs, no alcohol. Have pity on yourself and those to whom you will always be dear: children, parents. Of course, you can relax. But only a little and only sometimes. If you're drunk, you can make irreparable mistakes.
And finally. Don't start a new relationship yet. They don't knock out a wedge with a wedge. Not in this case. Just sex, please. But without a whirlpool with your head and without marriage or marriage. Why? It won't work out. This will act like salt in a wound. Allow the wound to heal first.
Life is not a book. It cannot be rewritten many times. It is written only once. And only by you.
How to restore a relationship after a breakup
You broke up, but you feel incomplete. You clearly understand that this is not a bold dot, but an ellipsis. Such thoughts do not arise out of nowhere; affection is alive between you. Don't worry, everything can be fixed. I will share with you techniques on how to restore a relationship after a breakup.
Step 1. Don't beat yourself up over the breakup, but don't turn the arrows on your partner either. People quarrel - you are no exception. Realize the reason that deceived you.
Step 2. Forgive yourself and your loved one, let go of grievances. Imagine that you have to solve a problem at the board. Until you have erased the previous entries, it is useless to write your solution on top. The ability to let go of grievances clears the mind and makes life easier.
Step 3. To get your relationship back after a breakup, let go of the situation and abstract yourself. Don’t text, don’t arrange “random” meetings, don’t call with tears or threats. You both need time to cool down and sort out your feelings. If you mean a lot to him, he himself will feel the lack of you.
Step 4: Switch from rewinding negative moments to high positive vibrations. No more sobbing into your pillow, no more obsessing over your ex. You are not punished, you are given a lesson. You have the opportunity to become stronger, increase your energy levels and increase your self-love.
Use the freed time to strengthen your physical and emotional health. Sports activities, a cosmetologist, and a hairdresser will help you.
Step 5. How we treat ourselves is how others treat us. You are not a free addition, but a complete person, you have something to love and respect yourself for. There is no other like it in the world. Tell your reflection in the mirror:
- I love me
- I'm wonderful
- I am a treasure.
Our subconscious does not distinguish the imaginary from the real; it organizes our reality equal to our beliefs. Come up with phrases that suit you and “take” them 2 times a day for the “medicine” to work.
Step 6: Visualize the relationship you want. How did you meet by chance or did he come to you. Specify the place where everything will happen. Feel how you feel. Focus on the best features of your loved one, what attracted you to him. Mentally say: “I love you, thank you, forgive me, I’m very sorry.”
When your imagination is focused on positive qualities, tuned to waves of gratitude, your energy impulses are strong and beneficial. They attract real responses.
Step 7. Implant the correct thought forms:
- I attract harmony and agreement
- our connection is becoming stronger every day
- We have a happy, trusting relationship with our loved one.
Set reminders on your smartphone and direct your thoughts in the direction you want every day. You will be surprised how accurately the practices work.
Sometimes the pain does not go away, it is difficult to erase the offense and forgive. Dear ones, sign up for free trainings where I teach the most powerful techniques. Together, the strength of intentions increases, tension and heaviness will go away.
Register for a free master class. I will teach you life in the Stream. I will help you look at the world differently and find a way out. There is always a choice.
Follow the link and register
The guy is aggressive after a breakup. What to do?
Hello, Elina! let's look at what's going on:
Elina
After breaking up, we still talked, fought, proved to each other which of us was wrong. I expected the breakup to be some kind of kick for him. But instead of pulling himself together and silently proving that he would do everything he promised, he simply began to behave horribly, blaming me for everything.
You never broke up, you remained emotionally connected to him. This is emotional dependence. You tried to shift the responsibility for the fact that the relationship was collapsing onto him, and he onto you - after all, both were trying to prove to each other who is to blame! And THIS is a rather immature position for the two of you. There is NOT ONE person to blame - there are BOTH - and everyone has their own contribution: he is childish, immature, not ready to build relationships, BUT - YOU saw THIS and knew that he cannot do something, take responsibility and in fact, they tried to force him to grow up with their separation, BUT he still didn’t want to grow up and this war of evidence began “who is right and who is wrong.” You don't have to try to prove to him what his contribution is! You need to see yourself - why did you accept such a relationship? what were you waiting for? why didn’t you want to see him as he is, were waiting for changes, but by doing so you are driving yourself into the trap of addiction!!!
Elina
One day he attacked me (morally), began to insult me, threaten me, and blackmail me.
and it's HIM!! HE IS like that! It is NORMAL for him to treat a woman this way!!! what else do you expect from him?? How can a person who can insult, humiliate, build constructive relationships???? NO!! Can not!
Elina
I expected that after the threats he would understand and be sorry and not allow himself to hurt me anymore. She says that if it were necessary and she loved her, she would forgive everything.
Is it possible for a person to grow up if he needs to be forced to see himself? Is it really necessary to allow yourself to be hurt in order to feel loved and make a person love you? NO - after the threats, he will understand only ONE thing - that it is POSSIBLE to treat you this way, because you accept it and continue to maintain a relationship with him!
Elina
I cry every day and don’t understand why he treats me like this?
NO!! Why are you doing this to yourself??? Why do you dislike yourself so much and consider yourself worthy only of such humiliation???
Elina
It seems to me that no one can love me, even if he did this...
But did He LOVED you??? NO! there was no love! and you will be able to see and accept love from a man ONLY when you begin to respect and love yourself!!! This is what you need to pay your attention to - you have to learn to love yourself!!
Elina, if you really decide to figure out what’s going on, feel free to contact me - I successfully work with similar problems - I’ll be happy to help you.
My sister is behaving aggressively, what should I do?
Shenderova Elena.
Moscow. We can work by phone, skype, watsapp. Good answer1 Bad answer0
What attracts and repels
In psychology, this phenomenon is quite well known when a person is drawn to a former partner. This may mean that you still have a habit or attachment to the person, the feelings could have passed a long time ago, but internally you still have not let the person go. So, after a divorce, men start a new family, but still consider their first wife better.
The important point is who left whom. If they left you, then this is a completely normal desire to return everything and try again. Because you didn’t want to break up, everything was fine for you. You are open to dialogue, ready to work on yourself and relationships.
If you left, tried to date another person, but still want to return, then we are more likely talking about the fact that the new partner lost in comparison. To solve this problem, you just have to stop comparing. Only then will you be able to fully immerse yourself in a new relationship.
Think carefully about what caused the breakup, why you were not satisfied with the previous relationship, what traits in your partner seemed annoying. Maybe you yourself did something wrong and can now fix it?
Requests for help Write your story
For about a month I broke up with a young man whom I loved very much, with whom I wanted to start a family. We were together for 1.5 years. We separated because recently he began to put friends, get-togethers, and alcohol above our relationship. He started to take it out on me and blame me for everything. After the quarrel, I just left. He did not call, nor did he try to do anything to try it on. I almost came to terms with the divorce, but terrible things began to happen to me. I became very aggressive and tearful. I hate him with a fierce hatred. This anger is driving me crazy. I can't imagine that he could be happy without me. He hurt me a lot and I want to experience it 10 times more. With my brain I understand that you can’t wish harm, I don’t want him to feel bad. But the heart speaks differently. Every day in my heart I wish him bad things...Please help me, this hatred will soon drive me to the hospital, I’m tired of living with negative emotions, I want to forget and let go....
Support the site:
Vera, age: 23 / 06/09/2013
Responses:
Hello, Vera! Under no circumstances should you wish harm to a person, even if he has offended you, insulted you and even humiliated you! This will come back to you threefold. Gathering all your will into a fist, holding your head high, you need to forgive this person at all costs, let go and move on, through tears and heartbreaking pain. I don’t argue, at first it’s very difficult, and at times you want to give up everything, but only you can help yourself. I also recently encountered a similar situation. I didn’t want anything, I howled in pain and saw no point in further life. At times I loved him, at times I hated him, and I also couldn’t imagine that he would be happy with someone else. This site helped me a lot, where I learned to pray to God and go to church. I couldn’t even imagine that I would ever feel better. If possible, I asked God for forgiveness, because perhaps I also did something wrong, and I prayed for my ex for his health. And you know, I, of course, will not yet say that I have recovered, because a little more than two months have passed, but I can firmly say that I have forgiven him and no longer hold a grudge against him and even wish him happiness. This made me feel much better... Dear Vera, forgive and let him go, pray to God for him, and you will definitely feel better too! God bless you with all the best!
Natalya, age: 30 / 06/10/2013
Faith! It is almost impossible to get rid of anger through willpower. Add emotional dependence on this person. But what is impossible for man is possible for God. Therefore, you need to go to the service and repent of feelings of anger, resentment, condemnation, desire for evil, addiction, pride, etc. And these negative emotions will go away. Don't let him go to the hospital, don't delay. There is no more effective way. People have not come up with a better medicine for the soul than repentance. And peace in the soul will definitely come. And there you can move on.
Yuliya, age: 47 / 06/13/2013
Vera, I had a similar situation... I can assure you that time will heal any wounds. And what seems impossible to survive today will be experienced over time. I cannot say for myself that I am very devout and religious, but the only place where I healed my wounded heart was the church. I went to cry, pray, asked him to give me strength to survive, asked him not to regret his decisions, wrote notes about his health and myself. Every day it became easier and easier... Now all my feelings for him have passed, we have maintained friendly relations, but I have no desire to communicate closely, although I see that he might want to. Vera, switch to something else, don’t let your thoughts think only about him. Go out with your girlfriends, take care of your parents, pets, take care of flowers... And this nightmare will end.
Irochka, age: 26 / 06/13/2013
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