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Gender relations are a mystery and involve certain difficulties. Most women mistakenly consider male psychology to be a primitive thing, often trying to no avail to understand why men leave women. Despite the fact that relationships are hard work, and often a huge one, proud and stubborn women make many mistakes. Often the stronger sex behaves with restraint and does not talk about the motives that prompted the decision to separate; the maximum from them is the phrase: “Sorry, we are not suitable for each other.”
If natural curiosity is not satisfied and you want to know the true reason for the breakup in order to avoid mistakes in the future, we recommend discussing the situation with a psychologist and understanding what actually happened. In general, the reasons why men leave women are different. Let's focus on the main ones.
Main reasons
Idealization of partners
The dominant mistake is idealizing each other and the desire to appear better. At the beginning of a relationship, idealization is simply necessary; it is an impetus for contact, a trigger for the relationship to begin. What happens next? A partner is not able to always 100% meet the other’s expectations. Every idealization inevitably leads to disappointment.
For example, a woman-child, based on her type of behavior, chooses a companion who plays a fatherly role for her. If a partner has a need to take care of his other half, then such a couple is, in a sense, ideal. But in most cases, the constantly giving partner gets tired of it. The desire to constantly care is exhausted and then the decision is made to free oneself from the relationship. A man's leaving is regarded as a bad act, like he left a woman, but he could not do otherwise. Both partners bear equal responsibility for the relationship; this should not be forgotten.
Mistrust of women
If you learn to notice your mistakes, accept them, and try to solve problems together, then the relationship can give you happiness; if not, then emotional trauma for the woman is guaranteed. Women, without realizing it, themselves create situations when men want to leave them.
This is also due to the fact that in childhood boys were not taught by their mothers how to maintain healthy relationships between the sexes.
The problem of gender relations is more acute today than ever. Women will be interested to know that a feature of male psychology is a subconscious distrust of women. Psychoanalyst and psychologist K. Horney believed that this was caused by anxiety and resentment, which have always interfered with relations between the sexes. Anxiety is a deep-seated fear of not being the boss in a relationship.
Who's the boss in the house
Let us note that a man fears only attractive women, whom, no matter how lustfully he desires, he tries to keep in obedience. On the contrary, older women are shown respect. Men's fear is hidden both in excessive exaltation of women and in disdainful attitude towards them. This explains why a man keeps the weaker sex in obedience, since he himself is intimately dependent on a woman. Factors of a psychogenic nature related to men underlie the struggle for power between the sexes.
Distancer - pursuer
Representatives of the two sexes often do not understand each other's feelings at all. The stronger sex often tries to distance themselves emotionally from relationships, while women, on the contrary, passionately strive for them.
For this reason, Thomas Fogerty introduced the concepts of “distancer” (male) and “pursuer” (female). It is common for the stronger sex to hide their feelings from everyone and stay at a safe distance, as they are wary of serious relationships. The strong half avoids obligations and dependence, considering it painful because of fear.
At first, men play the role of a pursuer, but this is only to seduce the woman. Noticing the intensity and speed of development of relationships, men make an attempt to distance themselves. Their retreat forces women to become more active and begin to pursue the desired partner. The woman is driven by the fear of breaking up the relationship, the man, feeling the pressure, pulls away even more.
Desire for independence and freedom
Why do men still leave women? This arises because the scenario for the development of relationships is dictated from childhood. The stronger sex is afraid of losing masculinity and independence. Often, mothers find it difficult to allow their sons to show independence, and as a result, they move away from them, feeling guilty.
In the future, men will immediately avoid relationships if the young lady turns out to be more than demanding, and begins to develop a feeling of guilt in him, due to the fact that he does not want to satisfy her needs, does not meet her demands and ideals.
A distancer man avoids obligations; independence and freedom are more important to him. These are the highest values. For the pursuer woman, the highest values are close relationships. For this reason, a man leaves a woman without explanation; there is so much of her in a man’s life that the male psyche cannot withstand such pressure. This is often the reason why men abandon pregnant women and women with children.
Misunderstanding of women
The main complaints of the stronger sex against femininity are expressed in the fact that when a woman says “no,” she means “yes.” Men have a hard time understanding when a “no” is a no and when a yes. They do not like meaningless conversations and avoid controversial situations. They live by reason, ignoring feelings. For the stronger sex, women are immensely demanding and emotional.
Women surround their halves with care, leaving them no free space. Because of this, the weak half is constantly offended, falls silent, believing that men are obliged to independently guess the cause of the offense. And if men are inert and do not want to notice women’s whims, women are even more offended, believing that they are not loved. The fair half tirelessly wants to talk about relationships, this bothers men.
The weaker sex classifies men as “cold”, unwilling to form a strong connection, and indifferent to their feelings. The stronger sex often says “yes” in order to leave them alone, and they mean “no”.
Not an interesting woman
Gradually, the man begins to realize that he is bored in the relationship. It doesn’t matter what: in intimacy, or in conversations. If a man is looking for a long-term relationship, then he will stay longer with a smart lady, so that he has someone to talk to and has a good time in bed. A stupid young lady who is interested in TV series and women's gossip is of no use to him. Hence the conclusion: a woman should constantly improve her IQ, develop as a person, be a bit of an actress, relaxed in bed. Constraint in intimacy will force you to look for a replacement on the side, excessive activity will force you to wonder if someone else is familiar with his woman’s talents in bed.
Unyielding characters
If everything seems to be fine, but scandals are brewing out of nowhere, and no one compromises, then there is only one way out - separation. By nature, a man is a leader; two leaders cannot get along in a relationship, which means that the woman will have to give in if she wants to continue the relationship.
You shouldn’t have any illusions that a man won’t find another, it’s very easy, because the demographic situation is in his favor.
Inadequate woman
Women's unpredictability scares the stronger sex, no one wants to blush for their other half in a public place, and life too - you know, it's not a gift if you don't know at what moment your companion will do something stupid. Hence the conclusion - we must learn to control ourselves.
"Rich" past
If in the past women had a dissolute lifestyle as a priority, then not everyone will be happy with such an experience. The attitude towards this is often negative; it is unlikely that this fact will be hidden. Therefore, it makes sense to think in your youth that after 30 years it will be difficult to find a normal man. Not everyone wants multiple partners to have a certain intimate experience with their woman. A man wants to be, if not first, then certainly not 51st.
Changes in appearance
For a man, a woman’s appearance plays an important role, and if he met an elegant girl, then it is advisable to remain that way after years, and not turn into something shapeless with huge buttocks. The stronger sex will not withstand purely psychologically such transformations in the female body and will lose interest in the woman. Of course, there are those who are delighted with crumpets, but they initially give preference to such in their choice.
Desire to marry a man
The mistake of many women is obvious desire. Some are so fixated on their idea that they are even ready to get pregnant. If the partner wants this, then he will marry, if not, then such actions of his girlfriend will only scare him away. Marriage by accident often does not last long.
Female infidelity
The stronger sex will forgive a lot except betrayal. If it so happens that the betrayal occurred and the man found out, then you should be prepared that he will decide to break up and excuses will not help. If the relationship is not satisfactory, then it is more advisable to say so before the scandal.
A woman earns more
If a woman starts earning more, then it becomes difficult for her to resist reproaching her other half for this. It is psychologically uncomfortable for a partner to be in such a relationship. Conversations aimed at discussing this topic will not help strengthen the relationship, and if a man’s income corresponds to the average level, he will begin to look for another woman. Hence the conclusion, when earning more, become wise and think before you say anything.
Excessive care
The main complaint women have against the stronger sex is that they are selfish. The beautiful half strives to give everything she has (unlimited care, attention, love, etc.), making her partner feel guilty. A man is not comfortable being in such a relationship, and he decides to leave, often without even explaining the reasons that prompted such an action.
Summarize. What can be recommended to women who find themselves in a situation where men constantly abandon them? It should be studied, as it turned out, it is not at all primitive, but a very entertaining science that helps strengthen relationships.
Speaker of the Medical-Psychological
We present to your attention an excerpt from a lecture by Oleg Gennadievich Torsunov, for whose practical advice he can be thanked by thousands of grateful listeners who, by their own example, can confirm the effectiveness of Oleg Gennadievich’s advice.
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The questions “Why do people break up?” , “Why do guys leave girls? " and "Why do girls leave guys?" This question is often asked by people who are on the verge of breaking up with their significant other. The separation of people in itself cannot be called an unusual phenomenon, because, as you know, half of families break up, and the people in them part with each other, often without maintaining further communication. It turns out that for every happy marriage there is one divorce.
But such situations are just the tip of the iceberg. It's no secret that even before marriage, guys had relationships with girls and girls were already dating guys. But all these relationships did not work out. If we take them into account, it turns out that for every happy couple there are several unsuccessful attempts to find a partner or life partner. This is how things are in our modern world.
We talked about the reasons for the divorce of young families in an interesting article “The first years of marriage. Problems of the first years of marriage." But, nevertheless, people often break up without having time to start a family, and why does this happen? Probably due to the fact that the interests of the guy and the girl conflict with each other. And these interests can conflict if, when meeting each other, people pursued different goals. It turns out that the separation of young people, in many cases, is laid down already when they meet. Now let’s remember how similar things were with our great-grandfathers and great-grandmothers.
If you go back 70 years to the 50s, divorce in the family was unusual, with only 3% of couples getting divorced. And even earlier there were almost no such couples at all. In addition, close relationships before marriage were not encouraged, so there was no one to “practice” on, because guys and girls did not change each other like gloves. But despite this, people rarely parted with each other.
When getting to know each other, a guy and a girl pursue different goals.
What is the goal of guys when meeting girls?
Men, especially young ones, often wonder how to meet a girl. Girls and women also often ask the question: “Where can I meet a man?” But the goals for dating are different for men and women. Modern young men often don’t care what kind of girl the girl turns out to be. Those. we mean, guys don't care what kind of housewife, mother and wife she will be.
More precisely, this interests them, but initially it is on a secondary level. For him, appearance, prestige and sexual relationships are in the foreground (at least for most guys). If, in addition to everything, this girl also turns out to be a suitable candidate for the role of a wife, then you can go to the registry office with her. If not, then you can break up with the girl when the guy’s passion for her subsides. Therefore, many men do not agree to enter into an official marriage, agreeing only to a civil marriage.
Thus, guys and young (and not only young) men can go through many girls, initially achieving intimacy with her, and then, secondly, evaluate her other qualities. If he feels that they are not suitable for him, then he will end the relationship. But even in this situation, as they say, he will not lose money. In any case, he got what he wanted from the girl and he can look for another “victim.”
But for girls, just (at least for most of them), this situation turns out to be negative. Still, this is not what they expect from meeting a guy.
What goal do girls pursue when meeting a guy?
Girls have other motives when meeting guys. For women and girls, dating men and boys is perceived as hope. Hopeful of starting a family, she values him as a husband, as the father of her children. Of course, sexual relationships in the family are also important, but at the time of dating they fade into the background for most women. Unlike men, for whom, as we remember, it is sex that comes to the fore at the moment of acquaintance. Why do girls break up with their boyfriends?
So, as we said, for women and girls, the foreground is a reliable life partner and creating a happy family. Accordingly, the main qualities for them in representatives of the strong half of humanity are reliability, loyalty, tenderness, etc., you can continue this set yourself. If you come across a guy with such a set of qualities, then the girl will see in him her man to start a family and agree to be with him. But if he does not live up to her expectations, she will break up with him and leave him.
As you understand, our dear readers, men and women, boys and girls, when getting to know each other, pursue different goals. A man is ready to meet people just for sex (at least most of them). And this will suit him even if he realizes that there will be no continuation in the relationship. A woman wants to raise children in a family. And of course, sex without continuation is unlikely to suit her.
How can people avoid breaking up?
It is clear that people who initially pursue different goals cannot always come to a common denominator. But could it be different? For example, when a man meets a woman, his primary goal is to create a family? Maybe. As a rule, these are men who have seen many women, communicated with many and were close. And now they have moderated their passion and learned to see women as mistresses, mothers and wives, and not just a beautiful “female” who simply needs to be dragged into the bushes, and then come what may. If you like it, I'll get married. If I don't like it, I'll find another one.
Unfortunately, this comes with experience, at a certain age. And this is very rarely observed in boys and young men. It turns out that in order to avoid separation, we need to meet the person we need? It would seem that we already know this. Yes, we know, but we don’t realize it. And we get to know each other, in the hope: “But maybe this is my man after all?” But, judging by the many failures that are present in our lives, we are most often mistaken.
Who is to blame here, ourselves, or our acquaintance? We believe that we are ourselves after all. Because the reason for our failures is, first of all, ourselves. Based on this, what can be advised so that you don’t have to break off the relationship? First of all, be careful when meeting and choosing your soulmate. This mainly applies to girls. Why? Yes, because guys will be satisfied with almost any situation, whether the relationship will be long or not. But the girls don't care.
It is hardly possible to give advice here that would work flawlessly in all cases. After all, all people are individual. But remember, until a man has you, all the trump cards are in your hands. And you decide whether to start a relationship with him or not. But if a man has achieved you, then now he decides whether to continue the relationship or end it, because he has already completed his “minimum task.” Dear, lovely girls, when meeting guys, remember your goals. If your goal is a long-term relationship and starting a family, then don’t rush. But you shouldn’t delay it, otherwise you might miss out on a good guy.
About Torsunov O.G.
Torsunov Oleg Gennadievich - doctor and psychologist, professor at the Bombay Institute of Vedic Health. Specialist in the field of Ayurveda, dermatovenerology, acupuncture, acupuncture, reflexology, herbal medicine, traditional medicine. He has his own methods of treating and diagnosing diseases, which are highly effective and have been tested in the system of the Ministry of Health. He has two Russian patents for inventions. Graduated from Samara Medical Institute, internship in dermatovenerology, Moscow Peoples' Friendship University, specializing in acupuncture.
Dr. Torsunov received his second education in classical oriental medicine Ayurveda in India. Has patients all over the world.
Vice President of the Association of Ayurvedic Doctors of Russia.
Defended a scientific dissertation on the topic of public health. Gives lectures. The results of statistical studies of people who constantly listen to his lectures are as follows:
50% of people give up their bad habits completely. The other 50% who don’t quit improve their relationship with the bad habit.
65% - people improve their relationships in their families.
67% - people improve their attitude towards nutrition and daily routine.
47% - people improve their relationships at work. And much, much more.
The fundamental difference from the standard approach to human psychological health is the combination of general psychology with the ancient Vedic science of life and family relationships.
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EXCERPT FROM O. G. TORSUNOV'S LECTURE:
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- Before raising a wife. it must first be accepted. And accepting a woman is very difficult. It's like a volcano. Women's emotions are six times stronger than men's, and six times more painful. That is, if the will of a man is painful for a woman, let’s say he speaks (very loudly
): “G-E-E-E-E!!!” On a woman. This is very painful for her. That is, to hear any male pressure. Colossal pain in a woman arises from pressure, when a man presses even a little, even raises his voice a little, she immediately begins to shake. That is, it is very painful for a woman. In the same way, a woman’s emotions are painful for a man. She begins to behave a little emotionally, and she is already “sausage”.
In the same way, the emotions of children are painful for a woman. Let’s say the children are screaming, the man doesn’t give a damn. When his wife screams, he runs. Because emotions are painful for a man - a woman, a close woman. And therefore, accepting the character of a wife is incredibly difficult. And in order to accept it, you need to move a little away from it. Don't take everything too seriously. She herself says: “What are you doing? Did you believe what I said?” The next day she says to you: “What, did you believe this? It's all nonsense. It’s just emotions.” She herself, the woman, tells you: “Don’t believe what I tell you.” So why believe then? If a woman is emotional, all this is “inflated”, all this is exaggerated. There's nothing serious about it. Some men are very accepting. Let’s say the wife says: “That’s it. I do not love you". Let's say your wife tells you. At this time, she doesn’t love, and she believes in it strongly. The next day, she says: “What, did you believe all this?” Because on this day she already loves you! And if this is so, why do you need to listen to all this? So she says: “I don’t love you.” Don’t pay attention. Because if a woman does not love her husband, she is always silent. That is, if your wife really decided to leave you, she will never tell you about it. When she decided to quit, she would scorch your brains out. She will say: “I want to leave you!” This means that she doesn’t want to quit, but is simply worried about it. And at this time we need to react. But if she no longer says anything, it means that she will now give up everything. It’s already too late to react. And it will be very difficult to convince.
If she says: “I don’t love you,” it means that something irritates her about you. It's not that dangerous.
– If she is already silent, and has already begun to be interested in something else. If the house is smaller, she has her own interests, then this is worse and very dangerous. That means he definitely doesn’t love her.
Look, when a woman loves a man, she is always with him, firstly: she opens her heart to him, consults him on everything. This is the first sign. And second: all her interests are always connected - only with his life. And if she is not connected, then she introduces him into these interests, herself. But now look: if your wife has stopped opening her heart, and she has developed interests that, in general, don’t seem to appeal to you. That is, you feel that you are not in control of the situation. These interests seem to have gotten out of control. These are some other interests, without you. That means she doesn't love you!!
And now you need to win her heart. Apparently you made some serious mistakes. Because a woman's love is not an emotional thing. Although she loves emotionally, in reality, her love is always based on your behavior. Therefore, a woman, if let’s say she likes a person, she says: “Perhaps you are, of course, the best in the world, but you won’t understand this right away. One snowflake is not snow yet, not yet snow. One drop of rain is not yet rain” ( words from the song – admin’s note).
That is, she will think for a long time.
Because she can only like you through her behavior. Therefore, she says: “Why are you late? We came to an agreement at this time.” This is very important for her!! Because a man's behavior should be responsible in small things
. So he promised her flowers, he should bring her. He promised at this time - he should come earlier, and so on. And she looks at all this, and if this is not so, then she begins to lose faith in this person. He begins to be afraid to build a relationship with him.
The man, as it were, doesn’t give a damn. Well, I was late, and I was late. What's the problem anyway? Well, she didn’t bring something, or she did.
Or let’s say, look, a classic of the genre, “You promised!!?
“Now try telling your wife: “You promised!” She will say: “So what?” You see, this is not an equal playing field. you cannot cover with the same “cards”. But if you say: “Aren’t you ashamed?!”, this card will be serious. Let’s say she started going out somewhere, and you say: “Aren’t you ashamed?” This is a serious card. And if a friend says so, the card will be even more serious.
It’s when a woman just starts to leave, that’s when they need to tell her something. This “sobers up” the woman very much, and she returns back to the relationship. If there is somewhere to return. And if you tell her: “Get out!” so she will go away.
Why does a husband leave his wife and leave the family?
– Understand that male nature always reaches out to female nature. And with this it is practically impossible to do anything about it. The very desire to be born in this world is a craving for feminine nature. It is to the energy of love that comes from a woman. And the energy of love that comes from your love always melts. Because that's how this world works. The wife will become more and more annoying. And there is no doubt about it. And the girls next door are becoming younger and more beautiful. And for a woman, the most interesting thing is that she doesn’t care what age the man is. Let him be 20 years older, or even 30, can you imagine? If only the person was good. If she sees a responsible man, and the man becomes responsible in his personal life, he begins to understand the woman’s character better, he matures in relationships in his personal life, and everything becomes better and better for the woman. That's why women respect men who treat women right. And especially if they are beautiful. And especially if they are in your circles, in relationships. And so, the illicit relationship begins. That is, they have, as it were, two urges. First instinct: a woman likes mature men. It doesn't matter what age. And men like beautiful girls. It doesn’t matter: yours or someone else’s. And that’s it. So, what is next? And then - the destruction of the family. Because when a man falls in love with such a girl, he is “bounced off”. First from his wife, and then, most interestingly, also from his children. It’s amazing to know that a man loves his children through his wife at least 50% – for sure. That is, in other words, if he loves his wife, he also loves his children. But if he no longer loves his wife, maybe he also loves the children, but already half of what he was before. And sometimes - completely.
That is, in other words, he fell in love, “fell” with some girl, right? He thinks: “Yes, I’m not going to leave my wife.” This is what men usually think. But you don’t know, you kind of want to meet her, communicate, right? This is your wish. But you don't know - her desire. A woman has no desire to have sex with a man. Her desire is to have a man. And she will still “pull” you towards herself, even if she agreed to the conditions that you would secretly meet with her and everything else. Slowly, little by little, she will draw you into her family. Because a woman doesn’t need half a man. She only needs him whole.
And if some other woman is connected with him, she will never agree with this.
Never in my life. Therefore, she will pull you, pull you towards herself, until she pulls you over. And when it gets too much, at that moment you and your children will no longer be interesting. And your wife. And you will destroy your personal life. If a woman pulls you into her relationship, there is no chance of staying in this relationship for a long time, without deep repentance, without deep prayer, super some kind of over-the-top asceticism ( self-limitation in anything
). That is, “You can’t build happiness on other people’s bones.” The wife is crying and waiting. The children were left without a father. Let’s say that three people suffered from your choice, which means that later, from your new relationship, only bones will remain. Because this is how God's energy works. God will never allow happiness to be built on the suffering of others. Therefore, the situation of this falling in love, even though it completely “blows” a person’s brains, and he begins to “bring” a “philosophy” to this, that: “This woman suits me better. She is my soulmate.” There are so many stupid philosophies out there that make it possible to destroy a family. “This is the man I need. So I am a fool, I got married ahead of time. But we had to wait.” And there are many, many other things. In fact, all these philosophies mean only one thing: what enters your heart is the enemy! It's called lust, and it destroys your entire life. Moreover, okay, let’s say the wife was there – a very difficult person there. What if the wife was a good person? You just don't like it as much. There is an “ambush” here. Because; “They don’t look for good, good things.” If your wife was a very good person, and you left her, then you won’t get another good person in your life. And you will have to live with the one whom God gave!
You see, the attraction to my wife will melt away anyway. And therefore, a person must, by engaging in spiritual practice, working on himself, serving close people, discover the depth in his wife. To discover the divine in her. And then there will never be a need to leave your wife. She will always be all her life: beautiful, necessary. In this case it will always be the best. Well, you wanted to ask something.
END OF EPISODE OF TORSUNOV'S LECTURE
OTHER LECTURES BY O. G. TORSUNOV:
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— FULL LIST OF BOOKS BY O. G. TORSUNOV READ ONLINE or BUY (LINK) on our literary website —
Director of the Vladimir dating agency “Me and You,” family psychologist, interpersonal relationship consultant Elena Kuznetsova voiced eight typical female mistakes that result in the loss of a partner.
Before listing the reasons why representatives of the stronger sex most often, it should be noted that they are relevant only for the classic type of men, and are not suitable, for example, for or, who are capable of leaving a woman without any reason. So first the lady must understand what type she is dealing with.
Why women leave men - even those they love
Your wife is not your property. She doesn't have to love you with all her soul. This love needs to be earned.
I'm Justin Shanfarber and I'm a marriage counselor. I work with men and women who are lost in their marriages. And although problems usually seem different for everyone, men should know that if the problem is theirs, then it is usually the same. And for this reason their wives leave them.
They feel terrible about it. Their heart breaks. But they do it. They gather all their courage and all their strength into a fist. And they leave the men with whom they have children in common, their homes and lives. This almost always happens for one reason. And I want men to understand this well.
Women leave because their man is no more! Not in the sense that they don't exist at all. They just aren't present in their lives. They work. Play golf or computer games. Watching TV. They go fishing... This list can be continued for a long time.
The men we are talking about are not bad people. They are good people. They are good fathers. They support their family. They are pleasant and cute. But they take their wives for granted. They are interested in them. Their wives are not in their lives, although outwardly everything usually looks different.
One woman expressed it well in my office: “Who should come home in the evening and support me emotionally. But this man is not my husband. My husband doesn’t care about me even when I cry.”
Listen. I'm not going to judge anyone here. I'm not going to tell you what is right and what is wrong. I will tell you only about what I see every day. You may feel angry or resentful.
Your wife is not your property. She doesn't have to love you with all her soul. This love must be earned. Day after day, moment after moment. The same way you make money.
You must win her - not with money or social status, but with your attention. She should feel that you care. She needs to know that her words and experiences matter to you. She needs to know that you are listening to her.
Don't nod politely and distantly when she tells you something. Don't reassure her with a monotonous "everything will be fine." Don't play devil's advocate.
She wants you to feel her. She doesn't want you to always be an absent-minded device for quick sex next to her. She wants you to have a passion not only for fishing, but also for her.
Your marriage is alive as long as you both feel passion. Are you sure you haven't gone out yet? And if you have lost this quality of yours, then why? Where did it go? Find out. Or find that passion again. And don't make excuses for turbulent times. Everyone always lives in turbulent times.
If you think that you are really present in the conversation, try to listen to her. Really listen. Don’t chase extraneous thoughts while she emotionally tells you about her problems. Look into her eyes. Hold that gaze. This is the only way it will be comfortable for both her and you.
If she asks something, give a real answer instead of just brushing it off. Get to the heart of what she is saying. Try to get to know her better. Believe me, even after many years of marriage, she has something to explore every day.
Communicate with her with full attention. If you take her hand, pay attention to how you feel in your hand. Pay attention to what happens at the moment when you touch or hug each other. What is happening in your body? What do you feel?
Pay attention to your most subtle sensations and emotions. (Sometimes called mindfulness). Share your impressions with her. But you are, of course, too busy for that. You don't have time for this.
But what about five minutes? Five minutes every day. Are you able to find them? I'm not saying that this should be enough to cook an extravagant dinner. I'm talking about the fact that every man can find five minutes a day to devote them all completely, without reserve, to his woman.
Will you do this? I bet that immediately after you try it, you will feel something you haven’t felt for a long time. You may even feel a completely new taste of life. And you will no longer be stopped. You will save your marriage.
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The habit of competition
Here again plays an important role. If he is a “male”, there is no need to compete with him, because this is unnatural. A woman, by her nature, should be a homemaker, support a man and help him, and not compete in business and try to outplay. Competition.
Another question is if we are dealing with a couple where the man and woman have swapped roles: she is strong, he is weak. In this case, a representative of the opposite sex with an iron character, who will become a “locomotive” in their tandem.
Sets passwords on your devices
If passwords appear on a man’s phone or PC, any woman begins to ask questions.
There should always be cause for concern when passwords appear. Most likely we are talking about a new passion that the man is simply trying to hide.
And even if he hasn’t started cheating, such behavior is always a reason for a serious conversation.
Most men don’t even set passwords on their devices, because they understand perfectly well that they have no reason to hide anything. Only those who have certain secrets and try to hide them in every possible way do this.
Talkativeness
Usually irritates a normal man, but there are exceptions. For example, some reserved and taciturn individuals have nothing against a talkative partner, whose chirping serves as a background, like a radio. There are men who love to chat and really need a pleasant interlocutor.
Here it is important to understand how a woman’s talkativeness affects her. This is not difficult to do. If a man calmly accepts a lady’s chatter and even reacts positively to her words from time to time, talkativeness will not become the reason for his dissatisfaction. But if your chosen one constantly asks you to be silent, but you still can’t calm down and bring down new streams of words on him, then one day you will drive the man to white heat, and he will leave you. Perhaps the reason for the breakup may seem trivial to you, but a man will never tolerate a woman next to him who annoys him.
Lack of sense of humor
Men really love it when young ladies laugh at their jokes, so if a lady doesn’t like her partner’s witticisms and doesn’t react to them in any way, or, moreover, gets irritated, then people are in trouble. A general sense of humor is very important. This is an indicator that what is needed in a couple.
If you want to suggest your topics regarding interpersonal relationships, write to the editorial office of AiF-Vladimir:
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Valeria Protasova
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As it is sung in one song, known to many: “The most important thing is the weather in the house...”, and this weather is created by a woman. The atmosphere of the house depends on her wisdom and cunning. And, if the husband left the family, then the woman herself is partly to blame. To prevent the head of the family from leaving the family, analyze your relationships in advance and do “work on mistakes” - maybe it’s not too late to save the marriage and peace in the family.
