For a man to love me! — A very useful article. Sometimes people ask me: “Is it difficult for you to find a man for a long-term relationship?” Your bar is high, the criteria...” In fact, there is only one criterion...
Of course, I have an idea of who could become a close person to me, with whom I would be comfortable. And the requirements... In fact, there is only one criterion - THAT A MAN LOVES ME. I understand love in the sense in which Fromm described it: care, responsibility, respect, understanding. For a man to love me:
Care…
Will he pick you up in front of a restaurant, will he open the door in the car, will he pay at the cafe, will he hand you a coat, will he ask about your well-being, will he offer help when he learns about your troubles, will he visit you if you are sick... These are the details of behavior that describe, how a man understands care, whether this is a normal state for him, whether he is able to think about another person.
In some cases, we may be talking about upbringing - for example, they didn’t teach a boy to open a door for a woman. So the feeling of care is not based on one fact alone. But a woman always knows whether they are treating her with care or consumerism.
How to get your husband interested again
Living together gives a man and woman the opportunity to see each other and communicate more often. Each spouse gets to know their significant other well, which over time leads to loss of interest. How and what should I do to fix this?
- Men love first of all with their eyes. Therefore, women themselves should take care that their husband looks at them with the same brilliance and admiration. Get your appearance and wardrobe in order, especially at home. How can you make your husband show interest in you and want you for as long as possible? Beautiful sexy home attire and well-groomed face, body, nails and hair;
- A woman should ensure that her husband does not see all female cosmetic procedures for as long as possible. Let him wonder how you always manage to look stunning;
- What else needs to be done for a husband to appreciate and love his wife? A loving woman should pamper her man more often with delicious and his favorite dishes. Notes with recipes, which, as a rule, every good housewife has, will help you remember what dishes your husband likes. All men prefer to eat food that their wives themselves prepare. Therefore, try to diversify your daily menu so that your husband wants to return home faster;
- In addition to culinary skills, changes in your intimate life will help you surprise and make a man fall in love again. To prevent a man from being pulled to the left, you need to make sure that he always wants his wife. Women themselves should also take care of this. Every little thing will help diversify your time together in an intimate setting: changing positions, settings, frequency of sex (this does not require a schedule or special significant dates), as well as sexy costumes and lingerie;
- To make your husband fall in love again, you should do more romantic evenings, walks together, trips into nature and any other activities that will help you relax and bring you closer together.
Read also: The best mistresses: surprising but true
A separate topic is how a man relates to a woman’s development, because love is mutual movement and development. Respect for other women is also very important (mother, ex-lovers, work colleagues, etc.) - this is about the absence or healing of psychological trauma, which guarantees a wise attitude towards feminine manifestations and the dissimilarity of the feminine principle to the masculine.
It is worth mentioning that love requires not only awareness of one’s own and others’ boundaries, but also the desire for intimacy . It is natural for a person to want love; this is a basic need. If a person declares that he does not know what love is, that he has never loved, that he is not ready for love and a serious relationship, he should listen.
You can, without getting attached, be nearby and watch how events will unfold. You don’t have to wait until a person goes through this stage of his development. It all depends on how interesting the person is in all other qualities.
What to do to make your husband fall in love forever
- First of all, a woman should forget about her husband’s control. No man, no woman, likes to be on a short leash. Also, every woman wants to see a real man next to her, and not a henpecked man;
- If you are lucky enough to be lucky and marry a man who puts all the money he earns into your hands, then appreciate it and behave correctly. Do not forget about your husband’s opinion and interests regarding where to spend finances;
- There is no place for lies in a strong relationship. There is no need to do this even in small things. Honesty is the main companion of sincere and true feelings;
- Find the time and desire to expand your horizons. Add variety to your life with your husband. In order to do this, introduce into your family traditions walking together in the evenings or weekends, going to public places, such as museums, theaters, cinemas or cafes. After work, you shouldn’t constantly sit within four walls. It's boring and you both will get bored quickly. It is better if there are moments in your family when you can all go out together into nature or any other vacation spot. The main thing is that the choice of location suits both family members;
- A common hobby will help maintain interest and sympathy for each other. Taking into account your man’s taste, choose a place for joint active recreation, such as a swimming pool or fitness club. In addition to sports, you can take up another hobby in the form of video games. The main thing is that the activity captivates both you and your husband. This will not only help you get closer, but also have fun;
- How to make your husband always love only you? Love yourself. Women with low self-esteem will not be able to make any man fall in love with them. Forget about your complexes, about your worries about your appearance and figure, and then your spouse will not pay attention to them. Constant female dissatisfaction and whining quickly takes away love from men, and they stop wanting to be around;
- The presence of any physical contact in your family will significantly strengthen relationships and feelings. You yourself can take it as a tradition, for example, to kiss your husband at every meeting. Statistics and psychology show that regular kissing in a couple significantly reduces the risk of its breakup. Is it difficult to hug and kiss your loved one, thereby reminding him of your feelings;
- In order to make your husband's love strong and constant, it is important not to inform strangers about your relationship. There should be as little conversation as possible with friends, colleagues and family about personal matters that do not concern them at all. You cannot scold or praise your husband in the presence of strangers in order to eliminate envy, which can quickly destroy any relationship.
Understanding…
This is the most difficult component of love; often understanding comes only with years of living together. But the first signs that everything will work out are also visible right away: “I don’t understand what you are doing, but I would really like you to explain to me.” This is about intellectual intimacy, about the variety of tools with which a man understands himself and reality.
A man will be able to understand a lot about a woman and her life over time, if he wants to, if he allows himself to let something different into his worldview, different from what he has already understood about life. If the framework of his beliefs is flexible, it is much easier to live with. The willingness to listen and understand is the ability to conduct dialogue at all stages of the relationship. This is very important for the stability and harmony of relationships.
Of course, physical attraction is also important . But at a certain age, you stop separating the physical and the spiritual, that is, the closeness of the souls of a man and a woman almost certainly gives rise to attraction, and physical attraction separately from another union is no longer interesting.
Of course, these components of love do not come in full immediately, but their absence is obvious from the first days of acquaintance. Without them, relationships turn into pain, and this is no longer love. My opinion is this: you can develop what you have; but if something is missing, then you won’t be able to attract attention.
This can be called high expectations. Or we can call them the most ordinary, because everything described is the natural manifestations of a holistic, mature person. In the end, I am like that myself and I give all this to another person. Why should you want less? “If only it were” and “it’s easier to live with a man” I definitely don’t need it. I have twenty-one years of family life in my suitcase with experience. Now is the time to be happy with a new attitude and wait for what your soul asks for.
How to make a man love you?
The male half of humanity belongs to the flighty type, and despite the fact that many attribute this concept to women, according to statistics, it is the former who most often change partners. Therefore, no one can guarantee that after some time the chosen one will not become carried away by another “instance.” Nevertheless, women’s hands have enough trump cards to irrevocably bind them to themselves.
First of all, you need to attract attention visually
If you go to the same class, institute or are employees, lure him with your appearance and a well-chosen image. Makeup should be discreet and as natural as possible, but it is not forbidden to put bright accents on the lips. In the evening version, it is possible to maintain a different position of smoky eyes and translucent shine.
Minimum attention to the object of adoration
Don't make obvious attempts to impress. If a man understands that you are interested in him, he will not perceive you as an object of achievement. After all, the strong half of humanity are conquerors by nature, but if the victim is ready to surrender into the hands of the hunter, then the hunting process itself loses all meaning.
War paint and revealing outfits are taboo
Despite the fact that such spectacular images attract men, their associations are exclusively at the level of a small affair or a good reason to brag to friends. No guy will perceive you as a girl for a serious relationship. You will still need sexy dresses - save them for romantic evenings together.
Praise
Guys treat themselves with special reverence and, on a subconscious level, look for a chosen one who admires their achievements. Praise your chosen one, give him compliments - all this will allow him to feel like a real king next to you. It is unlikely that he will want to look for another object of adoration, for which he may be mediocre.
Flattery should always be appropriate - do not go too far at this point. Too much praise can cause a backlash when he simply does not want to take any actions - after all, he is already ideal for you.
Interest in his hobbies
Find out about his hobbies, what he is interested in, and in general, how he spends his free time. Try to understand his preferences as much as possible. If he is interested in football, is an ardent fan, ask which team he supports, which player he likes, ask to go to a match with him or arrange a home viewing. Learning to maintain a dialogue on topics that are interesting to a man is not enough; you need to delve into this atmosphere - which, by the way, is important for him.
Never bring up the topic of previous relationships
It would seem that what else can be done to make a guy crazy about you if you followed all the tips described above - never bring up the topic of previous relationships. Perhaps your previous experience is important to you, but it is better to share it with your friends. Most men, during such intimate conversations, believe that they are simply being compared to their exes.
Don't burden yourself with your problems
A girl whose life is all about problems is absolutely not interesting. Rather, she is associated with an offended person who is dissatisfied with her life. It is worth delving into together only those problematic situations that the guy can help solve.
Financial equality
If your own income is significantly higher in comparison with your chosen one or the position is more prestigious, you should not remind about this or, even worse, reproach the man for his insolvency. At the genetic level, the male sex has the function of a breadwinner, and if a woman surpasses him in this, doubts may arise as to whether he is able to reach such heights and support such a woman.
Resolving contradictions
It's okay to disagree with others' opinions. However, the situation with guys is different; they need to at least make it clear that their opinion is taken into account, and even better, it is accepted. Therefore, in some cases it is worth remaining silent, in others - to play the role of an unobtrusive adviser.
Arguing with a guy is the main mistake of all girls. They begin to harbor grievances and gradually realize that they remain misunderstood in this relationship, which ultimately leads to a breakup.
The role of the teacher is inappropriate
You can’t reproach a man and remind him once again: “I told you that this is exactly what will happen…”. On the contrary, it is necessary to analyze together why this happened. However, in this conversation it is necessary to maintain a verbal distance, because the guy probably realizes his guilt.
Fears on display
Make your hero feel like a real protector. If you are afraid of horror films, then feel free to go to the cinema with your boyfriend. Snuggle up to his strong shoulder, let him hug you and protect you from terrible scenes. Any excuse for fear is a reason to show protection.
Know when to stop whims
Obsessive, constant whims make you feel like property. For example, by prohibiting meetings with friends, you cause a negative effect - your loved one simply begins to hide all his actions. Like a small child, he will do everything that is prohibited. Moreover, such “dictatorial” relations are doomed to sudden failure. All whims should be logical, and the guy, after fulfilling them, will feel at least omnipotent.
