You always pay for two
Sometimes his salary didn’t arrive on his card on time, then he forgot his wallet, then he bought medicine for his mother, then he spent everything he had on a gift for a friend, right? And even if your expenses are small - well, two hamburgers instead of one, and you take a taxi together, and you live in your apartment, it’s logical for you to pay your utility bills yourself. But, dear, even if your income is higher, this is not a reason to open your wallet always and everywhere! If you pay for a man all the time, he’s definitely taking advantage of you!
How to understand that a man is using you
You can find out about a man's true attitude towards you by his actions. If his love is visible only in words, and when you need help, he is not around, then it’s time to think about the need for this person’s presence in your life. How to understand that a man is using you? Representatives of the stronger sex can use women when:
- only interested in sex;
- need financial support;
- comfort is provided by a free “housekeeper” who will feed, warm and provide moral support;
- a man expects a promotion (relationship with his boss);
- There is a search for a more suitable woman for a serious relationship.
The main signs of men using women
Friends
Has your loved one introduced you to his friends? Men strive to be more successful than others, so they want to show off their “trophy” in the form of their chosen one to their friends in order to gain approval. If you often spend time exclusively together, then you should think about the seriousness of your companion’s intentions.
Pastime
How often do you go out together? Do you go to restaurants, exhibitions, movies? If your answers to these questions are negative and all your free time is spent in bed with you or him at home, then this is a sure sign of a frivolous attitude towards you. In addition to intimate relationships, a couple should be united by common interests and memories.
Money
A man in love does not regret spending money on gifts for his woman (unless, of course, he is a real miser). If after a couple of dates your loved one no longer wants to entertain you, doesn’t give you flowers or gifts, then his intentions can hardly be called serious. You can often find relationships in which men turn events so that the woman pays for them. Here you can immediately understand that the man is using you, because he is a real gigolo!
Help
You should feel comfortable and reliable with a man. The ability to provide assistance at a difficult moment in life is especially valued. For example, you are sick and need support. A real man whose intentions are serious will definitely help. If he believes that your relationship can continue only after the problems have passed, then such a boyfriend should be abandoned.
Employment
If a man has only one woman with whom he feels good, then he will try to spend all his free time in the company of his beloved. If a man makes appointments with you on weekdays, but is busy on weekends, then this is evidence that he has other, more important interests. Another sign that allows you to understand that a man is using you is that he is around only when he has time and desire for this. For example, a man calls late at night and informs about a visit, but when you want to meet, he cannot, justifying this each time with a lot of reasons.
Communication
A loving man behaves with respect towards the woman he loves. Carefully observe how he interacts with you in private and in front of other people. If you irritate a man and he may be rude, then you should think: do you need such a person nearby? Does he not look at you with a loving gaze in front of other people, avoids showing tender feelings? This behavior should also be cause for concern.
Territory
Does he invite you to stay overnight or does he try to get rid of you immediately after sex? A personal home for a bachelor is very important. He will only leave someone who is trustworthy near him overnight. Does he want to trust you? If you have never spent the night with your beloved man, then this also indicates the insincerity of his feelings.
Fallback option
If you are a backup option for a man who agrees to go to a concert and just have fun, then you should erase such a groom from your life as quickly as possible. A serious relationship does not imply any backup options; all attention is given to your loved one.
Emotional blackmail
Is your man blaming you for not having a job? Problems, in his opinion, appear only because of you? Say goodbye to such a man. His negative emotions, which will cover you every day, will not lead to anything good.
Future plans
People who want to live together often make plans together to gradually make them a reality. If a person does not think about living together with you, then most likely he does not see you in his future.
Lack of feelings
If your feelings have cooled down a long time ago, but you are still together, then you should think about the situation. Perhaps you are used to this kind of life and use each other for shared convenience? If you are happy with this state of affairs, then there are no questions. Otherwise, try to answer the question: is it worth wasting your own life living with someone you don’t love?
The best advice: do not idealize your chosen one and take a closer look at the behavior of your loved one. If he behaves inappropriately, then you need to think about whether there is any point in continuing to stay close to such a person. Of course, it’s difficult to think when your heart is beating fast, but it’s still worth understanding that love passes over the years, but people don’t change.
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You are temporarily supporting him financially
Based on the previous point, if you have such a relationship, it is logical that you give him money for pocket expenses. Oh, he has temporary difficulties, he was fired, he is writing a dissertation, he is looking for himself and he has no time for work? Of course, it is more convenient to take the money that is carefully offered to him. Remember - never, under any circumstances, should you give a man your money! Firstly, this simply kills his masculine essence, and secondly, the world is full of men who will happily take care of you, not to mention themselves.
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He becomes passionate and tender at certain times
Read also - 7 reasons why a relationship with a man much older than you is unpromising
It's sad to say, but men often fall in love when their libido demands release. That’s when he remembers that you are his woman, and, of course, for this “reason” you must obey his passion. Manipulation through sex is disgusting - and when it is done by a man, it is doubly unpleasant. It’s up to you to decide whether to succumb to his charms and allow him to use you, or still find the strength to break off such a relationship that is unworthy of you.
He doesn't pay attention to your feelings
Read also – How to maintain independence in a relationship with an alpha man
Is your man not interested in how you feel, what worries you, what problems you have? Does he not notice and does not want to notice how he offends you with his behavior? This is another clear sign that he is using you.
What other signs do you know? Share with us. And don’t let anyone, even a passionately loved man, treat you like an inanimate object.
What to do if a man doesn’t love you, but uses you. A man loves or uses – how to tell?
It’s a pity, but in the modern world, not all men behave like knights, respecting and protecting the lady of their heart. Do you spend fun evenings together and even wake up in the same bed? This does not mean that the relationship is serious, and the chosen one is really in love with you. Perhaps the man is indifferent to you or is simply using you to satisfy some personal needs. How to understand that a man does not love you? How to avoid manipulation by your partner? Read the article!
Constant lack of time to communicate with your woman
Does he value work too much and disappear for a week? Know that he has no feelings for you. If a man loves a woman, he will always find a couple of minutes to call or at least a short message. And if his calls are rare, then you don’t have to delude yourself about your future relationship. What to do if a man does not love, but uses (in this case, your patience and meekness)? Decide for yourself once and for all whether you need such a relationship, and act!
He only needs one thing
Cases when men need sex from women and nothing more are not uncommon in the modern world. It is a pity that many representatives of the fairer sex do not understand this. If a man does not love you, but uses you, it is immediately obvious. When he is gentle, loving and sensitive only before intimacy, and after it turns to the wall and does not want to talk about anything - this is not love. It's simple sexual attraction and passion. A loving person often says pleasant things to his lady, but a sexual manipulator only at the moment of excitement, after satisfying the physiological need, the object is no longer interesting to him.
How to understand that you are being used? Manipulative men usually do not think about the pleasure of their other half in bed. They think only about themselves, their release. These men want to be on top, but they use a standard set of memorized techniques to achieve this, without thinking about whether a particular woman will like them.
Signs that a man doesn't love you: inattention to business
A man in love with a woman always strives to learn more about her; he is interested in how she lives. He wants to know how the lady spent her day, how she is doing at work or school, what music she likes, what movie she wants to watch. Such questions simply will not occur to a manipulator; he is not interested in his partner’s past, present, or, unfortunately, future life. If a man does not love you, but uses you, he will not be sensitive to your mood swings and will not be interested in your affairs and plans.
He doesn't use the word "we"
Does your partner not use the pronoun “we” when talking about your couple? You can immediately draw disappointing conclusions: he has no serious plans for a relationship. Such a person does not recognize you as a whole. If you went to the cinema together, he might say to his friend: “I went to the cinema yesterday.” He doesn't like talking about a future together, even a short one. Such a partner will not take pictures together with you and, most likely, will ask you not to post joint photos on social networks. Such signs only indicate a lack of love and affection on the part of the partner.
He doesn't let you into his life
Whether a man loves or uses a woman is not difficult to understand. All the signs mentioned above indicate dislike. However, there are other important “symptoms” that your partner is not interested in you. A man who does not allow a woman into his life is simply using her. A man who avoids talking about himself, does not like to invite a lady to visit him, does not introduce her to his parents and friends, is unlikely to take her seriously. The main signs that a man does not love you are listed in this article. Remember them forever if you don’t want to end up as a toy in someone’s hands! There is also a type of man who takes a girl into his company, but remains very distant. They do not kiss or hug their partner in front of their friends and generally spend more time away from her.
Always pay attention to the male gaze. If your partner is interested in you, his eyes will give it away. A person in love looks straight into the face, without going down to the blouse, neckline or knees. Eyes fixed on the neckline will only indicate sexual interest. Eyes darting around the room indicate a lack of interest in the interlocutor. If a man does not love you but takes advantage of you, he may even show signs of impatience (for example, tapping his fingers or rocking in his chair).
Psychology of the victim
Why do some women seem to attract manipulative men? The fact is that a person is responsible for everything that happens to him (although he may not even realize it). The state of the victim is a psychological internal state; it literally attracts all kinds of lovers of easy money of a material, sexual and other nature. If someone uses you, it means that you yourself allow such situations. What could be the reasons for such an internal state?
- Low self-esteem.
- Disrespect for one's own personality.
- Various complexes.
- The desire to hurt yourself, to punish with the help of strangers.
It is very likely that you did not like this explanation, but it does answer the question of why you were chosen to play the role of “victim”. How can a woman be used?
- Love manipulations. Very often, an insecure lady agrees to “supporting roles,” that is, she simply becomes the mistress of a married man. While it seems that you are not worthy of a better option, a man will use you to satisfy physiological needs
- Professional use. For a woman who does not believe in her strength and talent, her colleagues will try to throw off a considerable part of their work in a work environment. Also, cunning colleagues can appropriate your ideas, currying favor with their superiors, while at the same time convincing you of your absolute professional unsuitability
- "Friendly communication. Very often, an insecure woman gets a manipulative friend who knows what buttons to push and will quickly win over the “victim.” A woman, listening to false compliments, and pleased with the admiration in her direction, is ready to do anything for her “best friend.” Which the latter uses with great pleasure.
Adverse Signs
If you feel like you're being taken advantage of, but you can't be one hundred percent sure, listen to these warning signs.
- Assumptions from family and friends that the man you love doesn’t love you at all, but is simply using you. At first, such conversations only cause rejection and anger in the “victim.”
- Relationship analysis shows that you give much more than you receive.
Think about the question posed for several days in a calm atmosphere, and then, on the contrary, try to distract yourself and forget about it. The correct conclusion will come on its own.
How not to be used?
Often a woman is not able to quickly figure out the following question: “Does a man love or use?” We described in detail how to understand what a partner really feels in the article above. How can such situations be prevented? Know your worth! Moreover, we are talking not only about love, but also about professional, material plans. Have clearly defined life goals, work hard on self-confidence, and then no manipulator will simply be able to break into your life and ruin it.
Don't settle for a relationship you don't want just because you're single at the moment. Stories like this lead to manipulation and sad outcomes.
Have you realized that a man does not love you, but is simply using you? Break up with him quickly, because the pain of separation will last much less than the bitterness of humiliation, unfulfilled hopes and annoyance!
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