A first date is a very important event. When you first meet someone, many topics seem too personal and awkward to ask directly. But it is precisely such awkward questions that determine the direction of the conversation and largely form the first impression of a person.
So, what 6 questions should you definitely ask a girl or man on a first date in order to understand a person and dot all the i’s without wasting time in the future on finding out simple but important truths.
Techniques for casual conversation
Several techniques can create a pleasant and relaxed atmosphere:
- It’s good to start a conversation with a joke - it helps defuse the situation and improves your mood.
- During a conversation, it is important to emphasize the advantages of the interlocutor. You can praise, approve words or actions.
- Show your interest when a guy tells something, shares his opinion. You shouldn’t pretend that everything is clear if it’s not. You can ask again. There are no people in the world who know absolutely everything.
Why are you still single?
If presented and worded correctly, this question can pass for a compliment. Of course, you shouldn’t shoot him first; save this confession for dessert. An open-minded interlocutor who has already boasted of his cool job and new car will easily answer this question.
And be careful here. If they tell you that they can’t find their ideal because they meet the “wrong” people all the time, then you probably won’t be able to become that “right” person. Most likely, your interlocutor came to you on a date not in search of his love, but with the goal of impressing you with his merits and regalia.
Topics for conversation
Of course, every girl wants to know if a man is suitable for the future. It's always exciting. And the right questions will help you figure it out. We offer simple topics that will help you get to know a man, and will not be too personal or intrusive.
By asking how many years he has been friends with his comrades, you can find out how loyal and devoted he is. If a man still has childhood friends, he talks freely about them, this is a good sign. And if he refuses to tell, it means he has something to hide or he simply doesn’t have any.
Not everyone is ready to share their dreams on the first date. But it's worth a try. You need to know a man's preferences. Especially if you are on the same path. And it’s really sad if a person doesn’t have a goal. Plans and goals are, of course, not exactly dreams, but every person should have them. You should not associate yourself with people who are not going to achieve and develop anything.
Of course, not everyone has to be a professional athlete. But more often than not, every guy has a favorite sport that he plays or watches on TV.
This is one of the most important questions. Because you may have to spend your leisure time together. It is important here that your opinion on this matter largely coincides. If a guy loves nightclubs and spends all his time there, this may not be bad if your opinions coincide, but in everything you need a middle ground. Addiction to computer games will also not lead to anything good. He will devote no more time to you, if not less.
Bad habits
Many people have bad habits. And not everyone is ready to part with them. You need to immediately decide which of them you can tolerate. True, not everyone can talk about this on the first date. But such things as gambling or smoking are unlikely to be hidden by anyone. If there is an addiction to gambling, this means that the interlocutor lacks the sharpness of impressions.
You also need to alternate between monosyllabic questions that can be answered “yes” or “no” and expanded ones.
There is no need to rush anywhere. This is not a competition. It is important to learn to listen and give time for answers without interrupting the interlocutor, taking pauses between questions.
Topics to talk about with a guy
It is known that no correspondence can replace live communication. The telephone is an excellent means of transmitting information, but you can truly get to know a person only after meeting him in person.
To make your acquaintance successful, you should know what is best to talk about with a guy. These can be a variety of topics - hobbies, favorite movies, travel, books. For him to really become interested in you, you should allow him to take the initiative and role of narrator in conversations, while showing genuine interest in his story.
Another important point is that it is strictly forbidden to constantly look at your phone, especially correspondence with a third party is unacceptable, otherwise the young man will think that he is completely uninteresting to his interlocutor.
What to talk about with a guy by correspondence
The telephone can be an excellent way of communication if the young man is at a remote distance and meeting him in person is not yet possible. Correspondence will come to the rescue, during which it is quite possible to seriously interest the interlocutor. The main thing a girl should remember is to be spontaneous and remain herself.
You should not mislead your chosen one by attributing non-existent traits to yourself, because when you meet in person, the first deception will definitely be revealed. It is important to remember that correspondence is only a temporary measure, just like the telephone.
In order for the acquaintance to continue, it is better to tell the truth about yourself, but without touching on frank topics. If a young man wants to pleasantly surprise you, correspondence will help him do this easily and naturally. After all, writing a passionate confession is much easier than saying it out loud.
What to talk about with a guy on the phone
The telephone always comes to the rescue if there is a special desire to talk with a loved one or someone you like. The first conversation is much better than texting because you have the opportunity to hear each other's voices and talk. However, it is important to know which topics to avoid.
People talk on the phone most often about insignificant or neutral things. You can discuss plans, arrange a meeting, but under no circumstances should you sort things out in this way or complain about life. This style of communication is especially unacceptable when this is the very first conversation, because it may well be the last. No person likes hysterical, pitiful outbursts.
What topics to talk about with a guy on a walk
Not everyone knows what to talk about when you're hanging out with a guy. If a young man invites a girl on a date, it means that she is clearly interested in him. Naturally, he will start asking questions to get more information about her. You can answer him briefly, but if the young man shows a desire to listen to you, give a more detailed answer.
At the same time, you should not jabber and jump from topic to topic, this is very annoying for most people. If he wants to listen to you, this does not mean that you need to chat incessantly, without giving the person the opportunity to insert a phrase into the dialogue.
Tips on what to talk about with a guy when he is taciturn
Dating can be awkward if the guy is taciturn. Here it is important to cheer him up and let him know that he is really pleasant and attractive to you. It is quite possible that your chosen one is simply shy.
What to do in this case? Find a topic that interests him and communicate at ease. To do this, you need to ask the question yourself. It is quite possible that a guy is a great conversationalist when he puts aside his fears and his anxiety.
What questions can you ask a guy on a first date?
So, the guy of your dreams has asked you out on a date! How are you feeling? If you feel anxious or nervous, take a deep breath so you don't mess things up.
In general, only one thing can make a first date unique - excessive curiosity and talkativeness, so today we will tell you what questions you can ask a guy and which ones you should refuse.
List of questions on the first date
Psychologists advise both the guy and the girl to talk for an equal amount of time and pause, allowing the interlocutor to insert a remark. There are topics that it is better not to touch on on the first date, and generally postpone their discussion:
- What were his ex-girlfriends like and why did they break up?
- How much does the guy earn and where?
- What kind of relationship does he have with his parents?
- Why is he still single?
- His plans for the future.
- What does he think about the topic that worries you, say, news in the world. It’s better not to ask, otherwise the date threatens to turn into a meeting of two philosophers. It’s especially offensive if his opinion is opposite to yours.
Naturally, if the guy himself starts talking about these topics, then you are lucky and you will learn a lot of interesting things, but it is better not to start first.
What questions can you ask a guy?
- His favorites: weather, resort, song, movie, place in the city, book.
- His hobbies and interests in his free time.
- Who did you want to be as a child?
- How he loves to relax and have fun.
- What does he value in a girl, what kind of girl is he looking for?
What to do if he gets carried away by memories of the past?
This is not a very good moment on a date, and such situations sometimes arise in many couples.
Our advice is not to get upset, but figure out how to shift the conversation to your present. Let's say a young man remembers some time when you were not yet in his life, and he literally glows with emotion. What question to ask a guy so that he brings these feelings to the present moment? The fact is that there is even a psychological technique thanks to which you tie his feelings of happiness to your person: the next time a guy enters the euphoria of the past, you can hug him and ask: “Did you feel good then? And now?" And kiss him tenderly. All! The transfer took place. As a guy on a sensitive topic,
we have already written forbidden remarks to you, so let’s agree that his love failures and family relationships are not sensitive topics, they are generally taboo. Another thing is talking about sex. This is an awkward topic, but you will still have to talk, although most likely not on the first date.
What questions can you ask a guy about sex and is it worth doing?
Before you talk about bed, be prepared for the fact that today you can get there, so understand whether you are ready for such a turn of events. If you have already decided everything, then in an appropriate mysterious tone ask how he likes to have sex, what is his favorite position, and be sure to find out what he doesn’t like. Such conversations are very exciting, so we hope you will have a place where you can retire.
Summarize
Finally, I would like to say that we often talk too much, but do little. Sometimes it’s better to be silent and just look into your eyes, take a walk in a quiet park or go dancing in a club, than to come up with again, fantasize about what other questions you can ask a guy so that he doesn’t decide that you have nothing more to talk about. Life does not consist of talk, but of actions. We wish you pleasant dates and chivalrous behavior towards you.
“Do not offer sex” and other misconceptions
The consequence of the first misconception is the belief that the man is calling her to a meeting with serious intentions. Therefore, she hangs a sign on her chest “Do not offer sex,” despite the fact that she has already talked about it twice on a dating site and wrote it in a letter three times. In 80 percent of cases, such a woman on a date finds out that the man, in fact, just wants to sleep with her, becomes convinced that he doesn’t care who he sleeps with, and sends his new acquaintance to hell. The second stereotype, or rather, the childish naivety of many women, is that a man must be honest from the very first seconds of Internet correspondence. This misconception has an antipode - absolutely honest men do not exist in nature! And everyone deceives for selfish purposes. Oddly enough, there are approximately equal numbers of naive and distrustful ladies. The first ones fall for married men and then get lost in a love triangle, while the second ones bring the percentage of unsuccessful first dates to 99. Or they find a trickster who will deceive in a new way, unknown to female science. These are general trends. All other misconceptions are of a personal nature, associated with the characteristics of a girl’s fantasy. Someone dreams of a simple Soviet worker in an oil apron, and a fashionable dandy in a hat and with a rose in his buttonhole comes to the meeting. Someone is waiting for a rich diplomat on a “beha”, and an unshaven hipster arrives on a trolleybus.
Date or not?
First, let's define the terminology. A first date is not a meeting between two people who have known each other for 10 years and decide that they are in love with each other. This happens: for example, a man and a woman work in the same office, they work for a long time... and suddenly the man, hiding a bouquet of forget-me-nots behind his back, casually says: “Lyudmila Petrovna, are you by any chance busy today after six?” No, a first date is a meeting in person after meeting on the Internet, telephone, correspondence, eye contact (on Skype) and the like. Nowadays, given the wild popularity of dating sites, first dates can happen 3-4 times a week. And for some desperate ones - even every day. So, expectations. It’s good if both have decided that their first meeting is just an acquaintance and non-binding communication. It's a walk down the street or a trip to a cafe, nothing more. However, even in this case, a woman, as a rule, expects much more from such a meeting than a man. This is her first misconception. The word “date” seems to imply a love acquaintance, even if it is not spoken out loud. A man, if he has not stated that he is inviting him on a date, is free to do whatever he wants, simply wanting to see a woman in person and understand whether he likes her, whether he is sexually attracted to her, whether she has a pleasant voice and manners. A woman most often expects courtship from the first meeting.
