Imagine for a moment that you are about to have a conversation with your employee about the exciting changes that are coming to your company, which you have been pushing at the top level for as long as you can remember. Imagine that you are full of enthusiasm and are confident in advance that the employee will share your feelings. But as soon as you share this news with an employee, you are greeted with a blank look, a tired sigh, or even an angry objection.
Some conversations just don't go the way you expected, even if you've carefully prepared for them and tried to think through all your options. But this doesn't mean you should give up, throw up your hands, and let all the important conversations happen. Don't forget that in a recent scientific study, approximately 91 percent of 1,000 employees surveyed across a wide range of firms said their bosses suffered from communication problems. Data collected by scientists indicates that most people in leadership positions often miss incredibly important opportunities that could help them gain much more trust from their subordinates.
As a person who has held leadership positions for more than 25 years, I know very well how important honest and open communication between superiors and subordinates is, but I did not come to this understanding immediately - and I stumbled more than once along the way. While I'm not at all proud of these communication failures, they taught me some very important life lessons that have served me well throughout my management career, including how to repair broken relationships and how to make communication more constructive.
Now I know very well what to do if I have a conversation on an important topic, and what should not be done under any circumstances, and on the basis of this I have developed several of the most important rules of communication in any situation:
Be a pleasant conversationalist
If you often attend various conferences or meet colleagues from other departments, one of the best ways to make people remember you is to turn on your charm.
When you make someone laugh and enjoy talking to you, people begin to treat you in a completely different way how to conduct a conversation.
For example, when you give a genuine compliment to someone you just met, they begin to perceive you and your presence differently.
But simple flattery is not enough, you must shine with kindness and friendliness so that people perceive you sincerely.
Remember, an accidentally thrown offensive joke or line of pun can leave a very unpleasant taste in the soul of the interlocutor, which in the future can result in something more.
Get rid of the “script” of the conversation from your head.
To be successful in negotiations on an important topic, you must be prepared for them. But there is a big difference between writing down notes that you can use to convince the other person that you are right, and drawing up a ready-made script that your interlocutor must strictly follow in order for the conversation to proceed in a constructive manner. Such a scenario will not help you in any way, but it can harm you.
“Difficult conversations work best when you think of them as normal conversations,” says Holly Weeks, author of Communication Failures. Why is a pre-scripted conversation doomed to failure? Yes, because your interlocutor has no idea about your script, and has absolutely no idea that he supposedly “should” respond to your remarks. Is it any wonder that such conversations often become strained, awkward and unnatural? If you want a conversation about an important topic to be more productive and natural, make a list of issues that you need to discuss, but otherwise be flexible and let the conversation flow naturally.
Dress to make the right impression
As a rule, the first impression of a person is created even before communication, by the way he is dressed. Clothes can tell a lot about a person. If you want to have the right conversation and leave a lasting impression, dress appropriately for the situation.
But don’t forget about individuality (say, in the form of an original scarf). Clothes should be comfortable. When you feel good in it, more attention is focused on interacting with your interlocutor.
If you're not sure what clothing is appropriate for a particular occasion, do some research (for example, if it's a restaurant, call ahead to find out the style of clothing recommended).
Thus, with the right clothing style, you can make a good impression even before the conversation begins.
The art of conversation
Have you ever paid attention to whether other people like to talk to you? No, not to talk about the topic - hello, how are you? - but to really talk, what was previously called very beautiful - to have a conversation. Unfortunately, this old art is gradually dying out. Life makes its own adjustments, and the ability to have long conversations will also soon become a thing of the past, as will the epistolary genre or the ability to write long and beautiful letters. But, if you want, today we can remember a little about what it is, how to conduct a conversation correctly and, most importantly, how you can learn it.
Learn to listen and hear your interlocutor
– The art of conversation has long been considered a sign of good upbringing. But, oddly enough, first of all you must learn to remain silent correctly. And although at first glance this may seem like a paradox, there is nothing surprising about it. After all, a good interlocutor is considered not to be the one who talks a lot, but the one who knows how to listen carefully. Therefore, learn to listen and you will be considered a wonderful conversationalist. Even if you utter no more than a dozen words during the entire conversation.
– It would seem, what’s so complicated about it? But this is a very misleading impression. After all, you need to not just remain silent, but do it in such a way that your interlocutor feels your unflagging attention to the conversation.
– They won’t always tell you what you absolutely agree with. But you must learn not to interrupt a person, even if it seems to you that he is simply categorically wrong. It is necessary to listen to the tirade to the end and only then raise your objections.
– If you are interrupted, you should not raise your voice and try to talk over your interlocutor. Yes, he’s probably not doing very well, but forgive him for his discourtesy, besides, when both interlocutors speak at the same time, it’s still impossible to understand anything. Therefore, if this happens, it is preferable to shut up and let him speak, and then you can continue your conversation again.
– Another important nuance is that you should not talk about topics that may not be interesting to one of the parties to the conversation. This is rude, and besides, in this way you destroy the holistic picture of the overall conversation.
Watch your speech culture
– Another and far from the best sign of modern life is the habit of inserting various jargon into one’s speech and interspersing it with rude witticisms. Of course, you may think that this way you look more brutal, but this is unacceptable for small talk. Of course, you can object, but what to do if your interlocutor is just used to adhering to exactly this style of speech? It is unlikely. People who talk like this don’t think about how to learn how to have a conversation, it’s not their style at all. No, no one is saying that such people are somehow bad, they just lead a slightly different, more mundane lifestyle and they have no time for measured conversations by the fireplace.
– In addition to jargon, you should not use words in conversation that are more typical of the professional speech of certain specialists. “That’s right” or “mine” would be out of place in small talk. After all, both the military and the loaders from whose speech we gave these examples, when leaving work, become ordinary people, and, therefore, you need to talk to them in a common language.
– It is also inappropriate to intersperse your speech with scientific terms or endless foreign quotes. It seems to you that in this way you are showing your education, when in fact, you do not shine with knowledge, but only irritate your interlocutors with your posturing.
August 11, 2020 at 04:46 pm
Andrey Zlotnikov
Participation in conversation
Your goal is not just to have a conversation with a person, but to conduct the conversation correctly, to make a lasting impression on the interlocutor, thereby increasing the benefits of the conversation.
The interlocutor needs to show interest in the topic of conversation, show that you really understand this topic.
You must make the people around you feel comfortable during the conversation. If you communicate in a group, ask questions of people who are most silent or stay away. This will allow you to show your interest to absolutely all participants in the dialogue.
Don't go on the defensive.
When a conversation starts to take an unpleasant turn for us, we easily assume the role of the victim and bristle with emotional thorns like hedgehogs, but this is precisely a tactic that should be avoided like the plague. Attempts to shift all the blame onto our interlocutor or phrases like “I don’t like your position at all!” or, let's say, “You're not making my job easier!” Not only does it not make the conversation more constructive, but it also makes you look like you don't care about your subordinate's opinions or feelings. Instead, acknowledge the fact that you have a role in this discussion and work with the employee to find a solution to the problem.
Eyes
It doesn't matter how you speak if your eyes give you away. Eyes are the key to maintaining dialogue and moving it forward correctly. Research shows that people should make eye contact 70% to 80% of the time.
This is considered normal and natural. If there is less eye contact, the interlocutor may feel that you are insincere with him.
In particular, when starting a conversation, many speakers are nervous, so they tend to look for a “reassuring” face that smiles, nods and encourages the speaker. Feel free to use this technique to make your performance easier.
Try to put yourself in the shoes of your interlocutor.
We all have our own life experiences that lead to the formation of a unique belief system... this is quite normal and natural, but we should not assume that our interlocutor has the same life experiences and beliefs, especially during discussions on important topics. For example, several years ago I was assigned to lead a team to restructure our company. We needed to deepen and expand our presence in the areas in which we were most competitive and considered experts, but that meant we would have to divest some of our less important businesses. One of my team's tasks was to discuss with employees changes in the structure of the company and how this would affect their job responsibilities. One of these conversations became a very valuable life lesson for me, as it went completely differently than I expected.
I was so confident that our team was doing incredibly important work that would benefit us all that I failed to fully explain one of our employees' current role in our company and how it would change in the future. I assumed that since she was the head of one of the departments, she herself would understand the importance and necessity of her transfer to another position, but I was unable to explain to her how the reorganization process would take place, and what specific participation she would take in it herself. Because of this, she did not understand either her importance to the company or how much value her work was to us, and she perceived what happened as a punishment, although it was not one at all.
There are at least two sides to any conversation, so try to always consider the other person's perspective on the situation. Look at the problem at hand from your point of view... and then try to answer one simple question: What does your employee think about all this? And if you can't give a clear and unambiguous answer to it, ask him or her about it directly. If you try to understand your subordinate and look at what is happening through his eyes, he will be much more ready for productive communication.
After I realized that my conversation with the employee was going somewhere wrong, I decided to change my approach and asked her to tell me what she thought and felt about the upcoming transition to a new position. It was then that I realized that I had to put myself in her shoes and explain everything in more detail. So I told her that the reassignment was not a punishment in any way, and that it would allow her to spend more time on the aspects of her job in which she was an expert. After I did this, she became one of the biggest supporters of the reorganization in her entire department, and helped me convince other employees.
Telephone conversations example. Examples of dialogue
The examples of telephone conversations below will help you understand the essence of business communication. Dialogues clearly show how to talk to a client or business partner on the phone to avoid misunderstandings.
Example of telephone dialogue No. 1.
- Hotel administrator - Good morning! Hotel “Progress”, reservations department, Olga, I’m listening to you.
- Guest - Hello! This is Maria Ivanova, representative. I would like to make changes to my reservation.
- A – Yes, of course. What would you like to change?
- D – Is it possible to change the check-in and check-out dates?
- A – Yes, of course.
- D – The period of stay will not be from September 1 to 7, but from September 3 to 10.
- A – Okay, the reservation has been changed. We are waiting for you at our hotel on September 3.
- Secretary - Hello. .
- Partner - Good afternoon. This is Elena Petrova, a representative of the creative team “Flight of Fantasy”. Can I speak to your director?
- S - Unfortunately, he is not in the office right now - he is at a meeting. May I help you? Should I give him something?
- P - Yes, please tell me when he will be there?
- S - He will return only at three o'clock in the afternoon.
Example of telephone dialogue No. 2.
Ethics not only controls the business relationships of business partners and establishes connections with competitors, but is also a means of properly organizing a telephone conversation. Compliance with the rules of business communication over the phone, which involves thorough study of each point, ensures effective results and long-term partnerships.
Dialogue of business negotiations over the phone example. Business communication by phone
Solving all kinds of problems and problematic issues of a production nature, establishing business contacts, concluding deals, discussing contracts or company conditions is called business communication.
Business communications, in principle, are specific in themselves, therefore business communication interaction over the phone is a very complex and multifaceted action, on which the image and reputation of the entire company often depends.
Therefore, you need to prepare for business communication over the phone.
When communicating over the phone with potential clients, it is necessary to clearly understand and take into account the desires and goals of the company pursued by the person. If the need to conduct a telephone business conversation is known in advance, then it is necessary to sketch out a small plan for the conversation, think through all possible variations in its flow and ways to solve hypothetical problems.
In accordance with business telephone etiquette, the time of the conversation should be suitable not only for the company representative, but first of all, directly for the client. Situations in which the interlocutor should distract from more important actions should not be allowed.
The wrong choice of time for business communication over the phone can become a significant obstacle to establishing the necessary contact.
The culture of business communication over the phone does not involve combining direct communication with other activities. Therefore, if there is a business conversation ahead, it is necessary to postpone all other matters. Excessively long conversations are considered unacceptable.
Business communication over the phone should not last more than five minutes. In addition, during a conversation on the phone, you should forget about facial expressions and gestures. They are no help here.
The peculiarities of communicating by phone are to follow a number of rules presented below. Telephone business communication in most cases requires careful preparation in advance.
Before taking up the interlocutor’s time, it is necessary to clearly understand the purpose of the conversation, determine its key directions and think through the content.
Psychologists have long established the fact that for human beings there is nothing more pleasant than the sound of their own name. Therefore, during a telephone conversation, you should always know the names of your communication partner or, at the beginning of the conversation, ask how best to contact him.
In addition, you must remember all dates, product costs, conditions, discounts, promotions and other production-related information. As already written above, business communication should not take more than five minutes, but preferably four.
In addition, during the conversation you should replace the neutral greeting with a more informative one. For example, you can start a dialogue by introducing the company and yourself personally. Business communication over the phone should be conducted smoothly, avoiding raising your voice or emotional outbursts. You cannot interrupt the speaker.
You should also practice active listening so that the other person knows that you are listening intently.
It is recommended to study and use methods of dealing with objections in a conversation if there is a possibility of disagreements arising during communications.
In a telephone conversation, almost half of the information is conveyed through timbre, intonation, tone of voice, and pauses used.
After completing the conversation, it is necessary to analyze its style and content. It is necessary to determine whether mistakes were made in the conversation, to understand the impressions left after the conversation.
Telephone etiquette helps save time, improve the quality of conversations and reduce the percentage of unsuccessful negotiations with clients.
