A story about delayed life syndrome that many of us suffer from

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Over time, you begin to understand how quickly the years fly by. In a short moment called life, some people manage to do a lot: achieve career growth, become famous and successful, start a family and raise wonderful children, make new scientific discoveries, create world masterpieces, visit overseas countries, write a bunch of bestsellers.

Such people quickly solve their problems, without leaving them for tomorrow. They, as a rule, are always purposeful and complete the work they start.

But there is another category of people who are in no hurry to live, always find reasons to put off their affairs and not do them for as long as possible. And the problem is not that they are lazy. They are who they are, and they don’t know how to live differently. Psychologists have given a name to the model of such an attitude towards life’s problems – deferred life syndrome (DSL).

What it is?

In everyday life, a person often makes plans for the future. Constantly postponing serious matters or setting certain conditions, only after which he will begin to act, but never begins, is the deferred life syndrome. At the same time, a person loses interest in what is happening here and now, because most of his energy is spent on supporting certain castles in the air that exist only in his imagination.

How to understand that a person has delayed life syndrome?

If a person constantly puts off all things and things, he says “this is for a holiday,” “I’ll wait for a special occasion,” “I’ll rest after retirement,” etc. People often say such phrases to themselves.

Everything comes from deep childhood, the Soviet Union syndrome and low self-esteem. Parents often impose these views on their children, and children often impose this syndrome on their children by word of mouth. Children absorb the words of their parents like sponges. After all, for children, parents are the main people who cannot make mistakes.

Its main difference from the procrastination syndrome is putting off your entire life until later. Pleasure, joy, or that service that is only for the arrival of guests. If you notice yourself putting off some little things for later, for a special occasion, then you have this syndrome.

Let me give you a few examples of the syndrome. This is the same set that has been sitting in the closet for years, waiting for special guests. Or a salad only for New Year. Or some clothes that are waiting for a date or meeting. And this is “I’ll rest in retirement, and now I’ll work.”

Causes

From a scientific point of view, several factors have been identified that contribute to the development of coolant:

Heredity. Although no clear connection has been found between this pathology and its transmission from relatives, nevertheless, people in whose families there are representatives with mental disorders have a greater risk.
Mistakes in education. Parents allow the child to put the toy away later, do homework in the evening, etc.
Busy schedule. Workaholics are constantly on the move, but do not enjoy it. It seems to them that they need to be patient and life will get better, but everything remains the same.
Lack of self-confidence. Doubting his abilities, a person tries to avoid making any difficult decisions, avoid responsibility, or simply put it off, first for a day, and then for a year or even more.
Emotional instability. People exposed to constant stress are vulnerable to negative external influences. To get rid of it, they resort to self-hypnosis, deciding that it is not necessary to do the unpleasant thing right now.

Main reasons

Delayed life syndrome has a number of characteristic causes. The reasons may vary greatly from person to person. However, general trends can still be traced.

Disadvantages of education

According to experts, the main behavioral programs are laid down in our subconscious before the age of 7. Therefore, his future life attitudes depend on how the parents behave, what kind of relationships they have with each other, and how they treat the baby. If a child wants to do something, but they tell him that there is no time, let’s do it later. Accordingly, this “later” will determine his future life. Or if the parents themselves live by the same principle, putting everything off until “tomorrow.” Then the child copies this behavior model, getting used to this life scenario. Therefore, parents should carefully monitor themselves and their actions if they want to raise an active, purposeful person.

Another consequence of poor parenting is low self-esteem. Often the mother or father constantly tells the child that he is “incompetent”, “armless”, and does not trust him with even the smallest work. Gradually, the baby’s self-doubt grows. Then an inferiority complex develops. Such people, as adults, cannot make decisions on their own and rely on others. Thus, they abdicate all responsibility for their own lives. Against the background of this habit, delayed life syndrome develops.

Genetics

Very often, GM develops in people who have relatives with mental disorders. Sometimes it is through the development of this syndrome that such heredity can manifest itself. These people are distinguished by an unbalanced character and sudden changes in mood. They cannot adequately perceive reality and often live in fantasies and illusions.

Too busy

Another reason for the development of this neurotic condition is excessive busyness. Oddly enough, some people who are in a mode of eternal activity cease to understand why they live.

For workaholics, work becomes the main meaning of life. They don't think about why they work so hard. They are fascinated by the process itself, and at this time life passes by. Sometimes they dream of throwing things away and, as they say, tasting all the joys of life. They promise themselves that tomorrow or the day after tomorrow they will definitely relax with their family and friends. They will take up their favorite hobbies and visit their parents. But something always gets in the way: an unfinished project, another blockage at work. There's no end in sight. So they rush in a vicious circle, leaving life for “later.”

Today, manifestations of the syndrome can be observed in modern adolescents. Many of them are quite childish. They do not strive for anything, avoid any responsibility, and spend hours on social networks. Young people hope that one day they will grow up, and then they will begin to live truly, like adults. Boys and girls do not understand that we must live now. To achieve what you want, you need to take responsibility and act decisively to achieve your goal.

To avoid such a life scenario, where the postponed life syndrome prevails, it is necessary to understand what this tendency is based on.

The main signs of delayed life syndrome:

Manifestations

Due to the fact that nowadays many are trying to evade responsibility, it is difficult to distinguish coolant from ordinary irresponsibility. Not every person is able to fully control the implementation of all their plans and promises, but if this is not controlled at all, then the consequences will be sad.

It is important not to miss the moment when coolant occurs. Here are some of its most obvious manifestations:

Regular presence of life obstacles. The boss often has to listen to excuses from an employee who has not completed a task. Today he was hampered by insufficient lighting in the room, and tomorrow by the lack of a certain special tool.
Constant depression. Anyone who is unable to enjoy today will never be happy. Even if his salary is unexpectedly increased and his uncle leaves a large inheritance.
Hopes for the future. Despite the successes today, a person convinces himself that a much more serious jackpot awaits him in the future.
Irrational monetary policy. All the money goes to future projects that are not implemented.
Avoidance of responsibility. A person postpones until the last moment the moment when he will have to answer for his actions.
Lack of bright emotions. A person reacts to any good news with detachment, the same applies to unpleasant news.

Delayed life syndrome

This preparatory period for LIFE can drag on not only for years, even for decades. And while celebrating your next anniversary, for some reason you sadly realize that you missed something important by wasting your efforts on achieving a certain goal, status, etc. And what brings simple human happiness to many people (family, travel, art, communication with nature) remained completely unexplored and unexplored for you. You spent many years achieving your goal, but you lost the main and natural meaning of life, precisely the one that gives us rich emotions and paints the world with colorful colors. You say that is it really bad to achieve your goal? Of course not. But is it worth turning this period of life into a “preparatory period for life”?

We actually considered one option for deferred life, which is not found by everyone. But if you think about it, “by little things” we ourselves often resort to postponing a full, happy life until later. Agree, how often do you and I deny ourselves the pleasure of going on vacation or buying something until the moment when the housing issue or the issue with work, study is resolved... but who knows how many problems there are in life? And if improving your living conditions is a really important and costly issue, then how would you like refusing to buy yourself a new thing until “when I lose weight”? Sound familiar?

But many of our desires do not require material costs. But for some reason we are in no hurry to implement them either. And as a result, we live as if in a waiting room for some happy time “later” that will come in the lives of each of us.

But when this “later” will come is far from clear. I don’t want to write about sad things now, although everyone understands that anything can happen in life. Most likely, the psychologists who call for living in the present are right.

How to defeat him

In modern society, not many are able to notice such problems in their lives, moreover, for some people such an existence is beneficial. With their dreams they shield themselves from the harshness of everyday life. It is important to understand that such a pathology reduces the quality of life and deprives a person of many of the joys of life.

In order to cope with coolant, it is enough to follow the following rules:

Act here and now. First you need to understand that goals need to not only be set, but also realized. The sooner you take action, the better. If the goal is too global and you are not sure that you have the strength not to stop along the way, then you need to divide it into several smaller ones and start from the first.
The value of the present. You need to live for today, because tomorrow may not come.
Awareness of mortality. Almost all people behave in life as if their death would never occur, but in people with cerebral insufficiency, this is more pronounced. It’s as if they are doing everything to the best of their ability; life is a rehearsal for them. We must understand that there is only one chance to live this life.
Ignoring the odds. If you have the opportunity to somehow shorten the path to success, then it would be foolish not to use it.
Planning for the near future. Many people have plans for the future, but meanwhile it is worth paying more attention to the present. If you learn to plan your day, you will be able to get a lot more done.

In conclusion, I would like to say that deferred life syndrome is a serious problem that prevents a person from living life to the fullest, and perhaps the main advice on the way to overcoming it would be to dream less and act more

It is work that is the best antidepressant; by dreaming, a person can imagine a finished goal and get pleasure from it. Don’t deceive yourself, don’t be lazy, move towards your goal clearly and measuredly. Good luck on your journey!

How to get rid of delayed life syndrome?

If a person has strong motivation, he will be able to get rid of this syndrome.

Rich Dad Challenge

Imagine that you have a very rich dad. Take a pen and notebook and write down point by point everything you dream about. Your “rich dad” will pay for everything for you and do everything for you. For example, a luxurious three-room apartment, a white car, a caring and faithful husband, well-mannered children, a favorite job, a trip to another country, etc.

Now forget about rich dad. Under each item, write down how you can achieve this dream. For example, find a second job, open a business, save $100 from each salary, etc.

Take action now

Put your phone away and do at least one thing. Go to the bank and save at least $10 to get started. Prepare a delicious dinner to strengthen your relationship. You need to take one step to complete each item. Don't say, "I'll start tomorrow." Today, act now. Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today.

A lot of successful people started life from scratch, when no one believed in them, not even those closest to them, but they crossed a thousand obstacles, stumbled, fell and moved on.

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Love yourself and allow yourself to be loved
Love yourself and allow yourself to be loved. Don't wait for a special occasion, you are that special occasion. Drink tea from your favorite set, wear a cool suit and finally relax. And most importantly, understand that you are the very case that you have been waiting for. Do it for yourself.

Delayed life syndrome - how to fight?

There is good news: it is possible to get rid of toxic thinking and learn to live in the moment! There are some tips on how to get started:

Recognize the problem and determine the cause
. Realizing that you are being controlled by procrastination syndrome is not easy, but it is a huge step towards overcoming it. Having accepted its presence, look deep within yourself in search of its source.
Work out the cause of the syndrome
. On your own or with the help of a psychologist, begin to get rid of parental attitudes, self-doubt, or, conversely, inadequate ambition.
Make a plan
. Most likely, almost all life scenarios planned for later can begin to be implemented today. By following the plan, step by step, you will return a happy life to the present moment.