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You've probably noticed how many single girls over thirty cannot find a partner and are in splendid isolation. This was not the case before. Girls got married early, gave birth to children, and built a family nest. But times have changed. An increasing number of women want to build a career, have the opportunity to earn good money, and travel.
At the same time, marriage and the birth of children are postponed indefinitely. Why is that? Probably because women are no longer defenseless creatures who sit at home and are afraid to stick their nose out of there. Because now a woman can hold almost any position on an equal basis with men and earn big money. Because the fair sex realized that for a happy life it is not necessary to have useless “pants” nearby, which they spend almost all the time on the sofa watching TV. After all, if both partners work in a couple, then household responsibilities should be distributed equally. This is true.
But men, accustomed to free services from women, cannot come to terms with the fact that they are pointed out supposedly female responsibilities. Men don’t understand many things, or rather, they don’t want to understand, because living this way is much simpler and more convenient. If he eats every day, then he must cook and wash dishes, since he wants to wear clean, neat things, they need to be washed and ironed, if he does not fly through the air, but walks and litters, then he needs to wash the floors, vacuum cleaner, clean the bathtub and ( oh my god!) toilet. Now men will begin to tear out their hair and exclaim that a real man will not stain himself with a toilet brush or a doormat. But in reality, these are pseudo-men. A real man is a person who is able to FULLY provide for himself and lead his life independently. A real man does not need a wife to wash, clean, or cook.
He needs his beloved woman as a lover, friend, partner. A smart man will not make a woman a workhorse who sees nothing but rags and pots. This is exactly what girls think because they don’t want to waste their lives on everyday things that won’t bring an ounce of joy. No one has ever become happier from ironed shirts and sparkling floors, from hundreds of cans of rolls and seven-course meals. But men want just such a wife: one who is always at home, doesn’t argue, takes care of everyday life, doesn’t demand too much and doesn’t bother her. But why such a life for an intelligent woman who can provide herself with a decent life. Why waste your time on a man who wants to make you a servant? And these are the majority of men. And there are more and more girls who want to see something in life other than pots and rags. Therefore, this is what happens: there are not enough worthy men for all the ladies who can offer more than three tulips once a year.
And so you see a lot of young ladies who have an attractive appearance, although “you can’t drink water off your face”, have a good education, can reason sensibly and know how to present themselves, but they are lonely. Some have already been married and tasted this “sweet” life, some have not yet been married, but, having a sound mind, they assume how it will be. And some simply cannot find a suitable partner. And it's not that ladies want millionaires. This is what men say who have nothing to offer a woman. In fact, a woman needs a man who can keep his word, who can overcome life’s difficulties, who can console and support. You need one with whom nothing is scary. But millions are not needed. A normal man will provide his beloved woman with an acceptable standard of living. The main thing is to make a woman feel loved, needed and protected.
Why are there so many single people now?
Lately (I’m probably getting old) I began to notice that around me, in my social circle, in the social circle of my friends, there are a lot of lonely people with unsettled destinies.
It’s especially strange that there are so many of these among young people. I consider everyone under the age of 30 to be a youth.
I remember my childhood, and these were the first years after the collapse of the USSR, this did not happen then. By the age of 22-24, almost all were firmly in a legal marriage. Some had already managed to get divorced by that time.
In the “Soviet” years, when a guy went to the army, with rare exceptions, a girl accompanied him there. If you go into the army and you don’t have an official girlfriend, then it was considered somehow unmanly. Another thing is that 50% of these girls did not wait for the boys and jumped out to get married before their return. But that's it.
Having returned from the army, the guy quickly married the girl who had been waiting for him. Or, within a year or two, he found someone else and also quickly entered into a legal marriage.
By the age of 25, almost all young men were married and usually had 1-2 children. Not to mention the girls. It was considered normal to get married by the age of 20. If you are 22-23 years old, then this is almost a disaster and you urgently need to take action.
Relatives and acquaintances joined in the search for the groom. Acquaintances and dates were arranged and the problem was usually resolved positively.
I remember well how the mother of my sister’s friend, who was 22 years old and still “sitting in girls,” was constantly crying. She directly harassed her daughter with the demand to urgently find a groom. It got to the point that pillows and blankets stored “for a dowry” were thrown into the yard (they had a private house). And the mother cried out that all this was unnecessary and that she would soon die without seeing her grandchildren. This also brought her friend to tears, but also spurred her to “work in this direction.” Soon the groom was found and everyone walked at their wedding.
Now I look at my colleagues, they already have grown-up children. Some are 27-30 years old.
Here parents have slightly different approaches. For those who have a girl, such years are full of anxiety and effort in finding a groom. Girls are also worried, but many are not that worried. Not at all like my sister's friend. Well, if someone has a boyfriend, then the main answer to the question “when will we hang out at the wedding” is “yes, he’s still young, he can still hang out.”
Where else to “walk” next? When should you have children? At the age of 25, my dad already had two children and was a completely serious man supporting a family. And now he’s 30 years old and “he’s still young.
Indeed, titanic changes have taken place in our social consciousness, if the view on the very basis of human life—the continuation of one’s kind—has changed so much.
And, I believe, this is a consequence of the introduction of Western values into our everyday life. I’m not a prude and I don’t advocate for the old “domostroy”. But you must admit that just some 20 years ago our society was more ready to survive. Now, with a feeling of alarm, I watch how Europe is being overwhelmed by waves of refugees from Africa and the Middle East, and how, at the same time, the indigenous population refuses to have children.
I'm not worried about the Europeans, I'm worried about us. Personally for yourself and your children. Because, looking around, I’m not sure that in 20-25 years we won’t have this. And I, God willing, will probably live to see this.
Why are women lonely?
Single women at some point begin to look for the reasons for their loneliness and ways to change something.
Why are women lonely?
One of the reasons that women are lonely is their attitude towards men.
Men for single women come in three types:
“illiquid” (tse, that’s not what I said, sorry)
Unattainable ideals
“There are no real men, there are no worthy men in life”
Single women have a distorted view of men.
They look like they are wearing crooked dark glasses. And sometimes they are removed and replaced with pink ones. And an ordinary living man turns either into a monster or into an ideal dream.
Their first group of men includes:
- weaklings and losers
These are men who feel like ordinary people. They earn on average in the city. They live in ordinary housing. With a regular education.
If a man is upset about something, or he is scared or has doubts, then a lonely woman is frightened of his living feelings, shows aggression and devalues him.
“rag, weakling” and other name-calling are heard mentally, and sometimes out loud.
- too brutal, tough, strong
These come with the label “tyrant, stubborn, miser, stony, stupid, heavy, toxic” and so on, epithets are selected to the extent of the lady’s education.
Courageous guys were rejected by single women on approach due to having their own point of view, will, and strong masculine qualities.
- Gulen, drinkers, use spice, drugs, criminals, homeless, unemployed, without education, people who are sick in any way are cut off without any extra thought or doubt.
- those less intelligent than a single woman fall into the “stupid, stupid” option. More intelligent ones in the “nerd, nerd, abstruse” option.
- those who follow fashion and their appearance - snobs and narcissists, “like a woman” and metrosexuals, single girls cross them out. Men who are careless in their clothes leave the ranks of the attractive representatives of the stronger sex with the sign “slob, pig.”
And so on by any criterion.
A man knows how and loves to cook, build, think, drive a car, fish, and the rest of the list of things to do - single ladies cross him off. He doesn’t know how and doesn’t like to do the above - single women cross him out again.
An ordinary person, an ordinary man, in any case experiences real feelings, makes mistakes in some ways, shows his qualities more clearly in some places, and he cannot possibly turn out to be a perfect, ideal example.
And that's why single women reject him.
If they want, talented single people manage to find flaws in wonderful men.
After a while, the “elbow-biting” stage sets in, when the rejected “illiquid stock” is discovered to be happily married, loving and beloved, quite successful and prosperous.
Why women are lonely becomes clear if you hear what a lonely woman says about men.
Occasionally, single women meet a man who is unavailable to them. He may be in a relationship, married, popular.
And then he is given the honorary badge “ideal man”.
Here other patterns begin to operate.
A lonely woman falls in love with unattainable Perfection. But she cannot communicate with him. Literally physically, she can become ill to the point of fainting and nausea.
If for some reason they establish communication and he becomes accessible, then after a while he will fall into the category of “not such men.”
In the meantime, he is a Star.
Falling in love can last for months and even years.
A lonely woman begins to feel like a stupid, funny, stupid, fat, scary, crooked, oblique, insignificant loser who causes disgust.
Such self-perception guarantees her from communicating and getting closer to Perfection.
And the third category is ordinary real men, alive.
They do not exist in the filters of single women in nature. Or there are relics like a great-uncle, i.e. from the last century and in general more of a museum exhibit than a real man.
They don’t see a lot of things that men do every day that are worthy of respect and sympathy, admiration and gratitude.
The eyes of lonely women are covered with “dark, evil glasses.”
Single men perceive women in a similar way.
Of course, such perceptions arise for a reason. Every single woman has her own personal, unique story of where, when and how she acquired such distorting glasses that guarantee loneliness. Why women are lonely is unique to each of them. However, there are some common features, and here is one of them.
Filters:
- Men are not like that
- Men are unattainably perfect
- There are no real worthy men in everyday life
And in this situation, how can a man approach a lonely woman?
It either doesn’t exist, or it’s “illiquid,” or it’s ideal-perfection.
Where would you like to be?
Why are there so many lonely beauties
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They pay attention to beautiful girls. They are admired and envied. For some reason, it is generally accepted that the life of beauties is easy and cloudless. That they do not have worries that burden the lives of ordinary people.
Beautiful girls are considered lucky in relationships, unavailable, happy in love, sometimes frivolous and (oh, horror!) stupid. The prevailing stereotypes complicate life not only for the beauty herself, but also for men trying to win her affection.
Paradox: we are convinced that beautiful people should not have problems with their personal lives, that fans stand in line, and the job of a beautiful girl is only to choose the best of her fans.
We believe that loneliness is the lot of ugly, ugly women with dull hair and bad skin. But in fact, it is precisely such “gray mice” who find lasting happiness in life.
So why is it that beauties are often lonely?
There is an opinion that beauties are in demand and have admirers. And this scares a fair number of fans away from them. Hearing “no” from a woman you like is a strong male fear, and many prefer to simply retreat, admiring a beautiful woman from the side, than to try their luck and hear a refusal.
There is a stereotype that beauties have a high standard, and not every man meets it.
This is partly true; today most beauties know their worth.
The environment itself contributes to this, youth and beauty are in demand, many men do not skimp to get the woman they want at any cost. But this does not mean that all beauties, without exception, behave as if they are bargaining.
Beauty is often associated with frivolity and capriciousness. A man initially does not take such a girl seriously, assigning her only the role of a mistress or a pleasant acquaintance for fun evenings.
Indeed, when beauty is your main and only weapon, it is difficult to build long-lasting and strong relationships, or, in other words, there is nothing to build on. Often in such relationships both are unhappy: the man, whose expectations were not fulfilled, and the woman, who mistakenly believes that she should be loved only for her beauty.
