Looking for a foreign husband? Never take off your rose-colored glasses!

Meeting a beautiful foreigner

I met my future husband when I had almost completely lost hope of getting married. I was 32 years old. All my friends got married a long time ago and gave birth to children. Some did it again.

Work home. Home work. Gym. Vacation. Work home. Home work. I was a spring in a monotonous routine. Day by day, nothing changed in my life except the number of facial wrinkles on my face. From time to time, of course, I was overcome by dark thoughts, but in general, in general, I came to terms with my loneliness, deciding to devote my life to travel and... plants. Whatever I grew on my balcony!

The company rented him a beautiful little house overlooking the sea. He had an old, one might even say vintage, BMW, a Labrador named Van Gogh and a luxurious library.

And then one day I went on vacation to Greece. Nothing supernatural. Regular hotel "breakfast-dinner", Mediterranean coast, Corfu island. About halfway through their vacation, a group of tourists from Holland moved in with us. Nice people. Two married couples and a single man.

One evening I was sitting by the pool and reading a book, at the next table those same Dutch were noisily discussing something. I didn't pay attention. Then their ranks began to thin out. First the woman left, the couple left after her, then the man of the first woman left... There was only one person left - the same tall brunette who came to the resort without a companion. He smoked cigarettes, one after another, periodically throwing glances in my direction. Became interesting.

At that moment, when I closed the book and was about to leave, he awkwardly asked in English if I was alone...

So we sat by the pool all night, discussing everything under the sun. We laughed and joked, discussed the power they have and ours, and compared our countries. I told only good things about Russia, and he periodically, arching his eyebrow skeptically, tried to prove the opposite to me. But it was not rude and aggressive, rather the opposite, in the format of a light friendly argument.

This is how I found a friend named Stefan. He broke away from his company and began going everywhere exclusively with me. We had breakfast together and went to the beach, went on excursions, and in the evening we walked along the picturesque Greek coast.

On the last evening before my departure, he made me something like an invitation to his room, but I, citing a headache, kindly refused.

It was either like a holiday romance without a logical conclusion, or just like a long pleasant conversation with a foreigner. One way or another, when I returned home, I decided to remove Stefan from my head.

Russian women about foreign husbands. Letter to the editor

Characters

All these couples do not live in Russia, and all the heroines have experience of family life with Russian men - it seemed to me that this was a prerequisite for the picture to be quite objective. So, get acquainted.

• Nastya and Jean Luc (French) - married for 5 and a half years.

• Anna and Dylan (Irish) - married for 7 years.

• Lisa and Vaclav (Czech) - married for 11 years.

• Yana and Ben (American) - married for 3 years.

• Katya and Gerhard (German) - married for 5 years.

When I talked with Nastya, Anna, Lisa, Yana and Katya, the main topics stood out by themselves: roles in the family, sex, children, husband’s parents, money, traditions and habits. It is probably impossible to draw global conclusions from what happened. But it is quite possible to catch some patterns.

Distribution of duties

Idyll reigns here. All my heroines said that in their families there are no problems with the division of household responsibilities into “women’s” and “men’s”, and their beloved men are not excluded from everyday life. On this point, all the heroines recognized the unconditional superiority of foreign husbands compared to Russians.

Nastya shared the observation that both Russians and foreigners have the concept of property in relation to their wife and family, but they are completely different from each other in meaning. “For a foreigner, property is something that he values, protects and respects. And for a Russian it’s “mine, I can do with it as I want.”

This philosophy produces very tangible and very practical results in everyday life. For all foreign husbands, housework, which they do constantly, is something like a home hobby. For example, Anna doesn’t remember the last time she went to the sink: Dylan always asks to leave him all the dirty dishes that accumulate during the day. Washing her is his favorite pastime. Lisa doesn’t work, children and housekeeping, sometimes even minor repairs in the apartment are her business. But only Vaclav always buys food. And Gerhard loves to clean up the apartment.

Sex

Everything is more complicated here. Yana, for example, says that before having sex, Ben always asks if she wants it. And if any problems arise, he prefers to voice them immediately. In many cases this is truly wonderful, but sometimes it is annoying. True, Yana says that this only infuriated her at first, and then she found its positive aspects in it. “If I say that I’m tired or have a headache, he will never be offended, but will offer to give me a massage. I can admit, for example, that I didn’t enjoy it at all. He won’t take this as a personal insult either, but will try to do everything differently next time. I asked my American friends if such frankness with their partners is common, or if this is Ben’s personal trait. They said that they always discuss everything honestly, otherwise, in their opinion, it is impossible to achieve mutual understanding.”

And here’s what Nastya says: “Even before our very first time, Jean Luc asked me if I wouldn’t mind if during sexual intercourse we began to give each other “instructions” on what, how and where to do. At first this proposal seemed ridiculous to me. But I thought, the French know a lot about love, and I decided to try it. Now, if I want, then in 99% of cases I not only get an orgasm myself, but I also know how to give maximum pleasure to my husband.”

At first, Anna was confused by Dylan’s love of experimentation, as she called it, “on the edge.” But “one day he suggested that we both call on “intimate” phones. He called some girl (and at that time I was eavesdropping on a parallel phone), and then I called a boy (he was eavesdropping). And I must say, it turned us both on very much!”

What's harder for her to get used to is Dylan's ungodly flirting with other girls in her presence. Dylan explains this behavior with his desire to have Anna and says that true love is not only fidelity, but also creativity, freedom and trust, and its main enemies are boredom and routine. It's hard to argue with this, but it doesn't always save you from discomfort.

Children

Five of our foreigners believe that at least half an hour a day after work, and weekends (even more so!) should belong to the family and children. True, every dad has his own personal time, which is secretly respected by every family member: some favorite show or movie on TV, exercise classes or meditation. Great!

Most of the problems are related to the fact that foreign husbands are sure: Russian mothers are overly protective of their children, not allowing them to show independence as early as possible and encroaching on their private space. Dylan often scolds Anna when she wants to spoon-feed the baby or if he thinks she dresses him too warmly for a walk. “In many cases, I internally agree with him, but, on the other hand, what he calls excessive care gives the child a feeling of security and binds him more tightly to the family. It seems to me that in the West the bonds between parents and children are often not strong enough. Isn’t this a consequence of an exaggerated concern for their independence - literally from the cradle?”

Yana is sometimes annoyed that Ben is interested in the child’s opinion on every issue, even though he is still very young. He asks his son what T-shirt he wants to wear and what he would like to eat for breakfast. “The child is still very small, how can he know what is best? That's what adults are for!”

Yana believes that the child’s opinion is important, but there is no need to take it all to the point of absurdity. Moreover, this creates certain problems for parents.

Husband's parents

If children of foreigners have the right to independence from birth, then why did my husband’s parents so actively criticize him for choosing a Russian wife? This question arose for three of our five heroines. When Gerhard told his mother that he had decided to marry a Russian girl, she ironically asked him: “Are German girls already over?” And Ben’s mother was convinced for a long time that Yana wanted to marry not him, but America.

Vaclav told Lisa from the very beginning that his parents were unlikely to accept her because, firstly, she was his second wife (he already had a marriage before her), and secondly, she was Russian, from the former Soviet Union. In fact, they became very good friends. The husband’s parents later admitted to Lisa: “We were so afraid of your arrival!” “And how I was afraid of you!” - she told them.

Dylan's parents were surprised when their son said that he had fallen in love with a Russian. They began to make inquiries from an acquaintance who had been to Russia, what kind of country this was and what Russians looked like. Then they told Dylan that, according to the information collected, Russians, in general, are not bad people and their characters even somewhat resemble the Irish. They only wish that his future wife would at least look like them. When the family saw Anna, it was unanimously decided that she looked quite Irish, only her skin color was not pink-white, but yellowish. But they accepted her as a daughter.

But Jean Luc’s mother openly disliked Nastya. “When we were visiting her, at every opportunity she told me: “And why did you take my son? He had so many girls here - young, beautiful, rich...” she recalls.

Money

As the survey showed, this is the main stumbling block in the marriages of Russian women with foreigners. Gerhard tried for a long time to teach Katya to write down all her income and expenses. Despite his assurances that this will help them plan their family budget, Katya is categorically against it: “It’s so boring! Is there any point in working so hard and a lot, only to then think for a long time before spending even a penny? Sometimes you have to part with money easily!”

Also, Katya believes that when all expenses are accounted for, tension inevitably arises in the family. Because the partner who is better at saving begins to look askance at the other, who is more free with money.

Vaclav and Lisa have a similar situation. When Vaclav was studying in Prague, one old teacher once told the students: “Never marry Russians - they will ruin you!” Lisa says that her husband often reproaches her for not knowing how to plan and spend money, and every now and then buying unnecessary trinkets, things and products.

Ben is sure that Russians, for all their wonderful human qualities, have one big drawback: they do not respect money as much as Americans, do not know how to handle it correctly, often rely on chance, neglect insurance and clear planning, and often lend money to someone else. they are miserable and don’t think about the future. He says that Americans and Russians are completely incompatible on this issue. Yana agrees about the incompatibility, but does not think that it is the fault of Russian women. Like Katya, she doesn’t like it when money is elevated to a cult, when they think about it, talk about it and count it too often.

Anna and Dylan don't have such obvious disagreements on money matters. But for a long time she could not get used to the fact that in addition to the common bank account, each of them had their own, personal one. In her parents’ family, it was customary to consider all family money as common money.

Traditions

When Katya and Nastya got married, they were unbaptized and, at the request of their fiancés, converted to the Catholic faith. Yana attends services in the Anglican Church with Ben, although she does not consider herself a believer.

Since Christmas and Easter do not coincide among Orthodox and Catholics, in all these families they are celebrated twice. Accordingly, traditional dishes are prepared in every family. For Christmas, Lisa and Vaclav's family prepares carp, Yana and Ben's family prepares turkey, and Katya and Dylan's family prepares goose. Almost none of the foreign husbands maintain such close relationships with their relatives as are customary in Russia. But once a year, at Christmas, they all try to come home at all costs to be close to their relatives.

It was a big surprise for Anna when, on Christmas Eve, Dylan categorically forbade her to go to her boss’s anniversary. The idea of ​​spending such a holiday outside of home and family seems simply wild to him! And Ben was very offended by Yana when, in the first year of their acquaintance, on December 24, she completely forgot about the holiday and did not prepare gifts - after all, in Russia this is an ordinary working day.

All five families have a kind of law: all family members should spend their weekends together, actively and interestingly for everyone. Of course, one of the spouses can go to a concert, or a sports match, or just meet with their friends, but this is rather the exception than the rule.

Nastya recalls: “My friends and I always ran to each other for a cup of tea whenever we wanted. Sometimes even without calling in advance. But one day Jean Luc gave me a lecture about respect for personal time and the fact that meetings need to be arranged almost a week in advance. He doesn’t understand how you can sit on the phone for so long or with friends in the kitchen, and what you can even talk about all evening and even all night with those you’ve known for a hundred years. But only with close friends can you communicate endlessly! And if you schedule an audience with them a week in advance, then they will no longer be so close. And also, Jean Luc says that when you marry a Russian, you automatically marry her whole family, friends and their problems.”

Anna understands perfectly what Nastya is talking about. She also constantly pays attention to her husband’s habit of keeping his distance. And with everyone - from random passers-by on the street to members of his own family. “For example, Western men (including Dylan) are not as attentive to women as Russians: they don’t give you a coat or a hand when you get out of a vehicle, they may not think of helping you carry a heavy bag.

And as for this quality of Dylan in our lives with him... Sometimes you really want to show concern for your husband! But his individualism, carefully guarded private space, emphasized independence and independence often turn out to be a cold shower for such “extra” tenderness.”

Victoria Fabishek climbed into the soul for the “Interview” section.

Wedding and son

It didn't work out. Within a few days I started experiencing withdrawal symptoms. I terribly missed this crooked English, how funny he said “AlYona” and even funnier - “Aliyonushka”.

In general, I fell in love.

Stefan didn't have to wait long. Exactly a week after returning home, I received an email. He wrote about exactly the same thing that I felt: walks along the coast could not leave my mind, funny jokes popped up in my mind and made me smile blissfully even on public transport, joint selfies on the phone were viewed a thousand times a day.

***

Two months later I came to visit him. My Dutch gentleman lived and worked in France, in Marseille, on the seashore.

The company rented him a beautiful little house overlooking the sea. He had an old, one might even say vintage, BMW, a Labrador named Van Gogh and a luxurious library.

All this was enough for happiness. I thought then...

We fell in love with each other even more, and it seemed that we would never part. Soon after my trip to Marseille, he came to Russia, then we went to Holland together, and then I moved to him in the Mediterranean.

Photo by Vitor Pinto on Unsplash

We got married and had a child a year later.

This is where the fun began. My husband communicated with his son in Dutch, I communicated with him in Russian, in kindergarten they spoke to him in French, and we communicated with each other in English...

We grew up not just as a bilingual person, we grew up as a person of the world. All that remained was to find a Chinese nanny and an Arab cook to complete the picture.

But “lost in translation” was just the tip of the iceberg.

my boyfriend is a foreigner

Good day everyone!

My son and I have recently disappeared from our favorite BB. But there is a reason... More precisely, two reasons)))

Well, first of all, we are in the hospital. My son's temperature rose to 39 (at night). Before this, I had been suffering with my teeth for a couple of days. She gave Nurofen, waited for the temperature to drop, went to bed... In the morning everything was ok. We went to the pediatrician))) We were prescribed to drink chamomile, wipe ourselves with vinegar and Mucaltin. And upon returning home, the temperature dropped to 39.1. An ambulance was called. They gave an injection (lytic). They hoped that now the temperature would definitely drop and would not rise any further. And the son will fall asleep for a long time... Yeah! Nothing like this. The temperature has risen further. I'm panicking! An ambulance was called again. Well, they took us to the infectious disease ward. There they diagnosed ARVI. My boyfriend hasn't been raving for 3 days. It’s easier to get over the illness yourself than to see how your Baby is suffering (((Now everything is fine. At night it was still almost 40, and in the morning it was a stable 36.6. It was all over in a moment. The next day there was a rash all over the body. I immediately I suspected roseolla. But our doctor insists - ARVI! And we need to take medicine for allergies. Honestly, I didn’t give anything. My son doesn’t itch, behaves normally, the rash is barely visible and rough. Hemoglobin 92 - mom also suffers from low iron levels.. We need to somehow- then raise him... I'm sure they'll prescribe pills again.... (((((We'll donate blood again tomorrow.

Now about the conditions of our stay THERE. People, we live in the 21st century!!!! We have nanotechnology and so on... And here... The infectious diseases department of the Central City Hospital. Everything must be sterile. What we have? A large room, a huge toilet with a bathtub... The cold water flows indecently rusty, there is no hot water, although the city has already provided it, the drain barrel does not work (they said it will have to be like this for now, because there are no spare parts.....). The baby is in your arms all the time... The beds are high - it will squish, it won’t seem too much. I don’t trust the floors... Oh, sorry, how can I even go to the toilet? But the most amazing thing!!! Who has seen ladybugs the size of a ten-kopeck coin????? So, there are visible and invisible them on the ceiling and walls. They crawl wherever they want (Brownian motion), they FLY... My son is delighted))) - the bugs fly by. And my mother is ready to faint every time))) I once read that ladybugs cannot be killed, or even brushed onto the floor without due respect…. Sin! And another thought - why are they so large? Japanese radiation? Mutants? Or is there such a type? The bed is narrow and squashed. My son is stressed and cannot move around. Another reason to be crazy)), besides “mosquitoes” (injections) and aunties in white coats. Kirk was never sick! Never! And immediately so global! Today my Prince pooped. So what should I do? Run to the nurses' post with your bare, crap-stained butt for a kettle of warm water??? Yes! We're also not allowed to go out into the hallway! )))) In short, a foreigner would go crazy from the inconsistency of the Hospital Rules))))

But! The staff is just great! And nannies, and nurses... Soulful! They help as best they can...

So like this.

Marriage with a foreign citizen in the Russian Federation

You can marry a foreign citizen in the Russian Federation on the basis of current legislation. Russian legislation does not limit the right of citizens to create families with a citizen of another country or a stateless person.

But to get married, you must take into account the basic requirements:

• The foreigner must comply with the laws of his country and document this fact
• The legislation of the Russian Federation does not recognize polygamy and same-sex marriage. If the groom is married in a country that allows polygamy, he will not be able to marry a Russian woman in Russia. A polygamous marriage entered into in the country of the husband’s citizenship is considered invalid in Russia.
• Marriage is carried out on the basis of the Family Code of the Russian Federation.

If the marriage has already been registered, then to visit the Russian Federation, the foreign spouse must obtain a visa.

I teach to live

Russian women are a very important export product, after hydrocarbons and the Kalashnikov assault rifle.

Why are Russians so popular among foreign men? Are they really that beautiful?

Here I will call all residents of the post-Soviet space Russian, okay?

There is an opinion that only losers marry Russians, for whom they say they won’t marry...

A couple of times last week I received requests on my account:

-What to do? I hate my French husband and my German husband.

Two different women with the same feelings.

Let's start with the fact that many Russian women dream of marrying a foreigner.

Moreover, I was surprised to learn that even one certain Lydia was married to a Papuan.

Quite seriously, though this is a sad story, he died of a serious illness, a kidney... She was left a widow, but still a Papuan... Are Russian men really that bad?

Of course not, but there aren’t enough of them...

The female population in Russia, and I think throughout the entire post-Soviet space, is 10 million more than the male population... You see, 10 million women dream of finding their soul mate...

There is a particularly large imbalance in the cities... well, it is logical that there is a struggle for men, and men, to be honest, often abuse this...

Look, at the Fashion Sentence, almost everyone openly demands sexuality from their wife... It’s as if everyone themselves is an EAGLE!

Frankly speaking, Russia is a country with a feminine face; many men have faces that are far from being sexually attractive males. Round, small eyes, duck noses... bellies... But no, come on, he wants Marilyn Monroe in his bed, otherwise a boycott is announced, and women strive to meet these demands...

This is what often attracts overseas suitors, the well-groomed and elegant appearance of Russian women.

In the West, due to low child and youth mortality, the number of men predominates over the female population.

Previously, that is, under the Iron Curtain, they traveled far, far away for their wives... To Indonesia, the Philippines and even Africa.

After the fall of the Berlin Wall, their heads were blown off by the Russians...

I only met a guy on the train two weeks ago, when he heard that I spoke Russian, he pestered me:

-How nice it is to speak Russian, I lived in Russia for many years, I love Russia (a spy perhaps?)

and so on, in short, while we were driving for about 20 minutes to my station, he was telling me how much he likes Russia.

“What do you think of Russian women?” I asked.

He just closed his eyes and said dreamily:

- Oh, Russian women are very beautiful!

What many consider to be kitsch: war paint, tight T-shirts with bare navels, heels, in short, all the attributes of bad taste, men actually don’t know this, and many just like it when a woman is dressed like that...

No matter how they say that men in the West are restrained, especially lately, when there are so many overly sexual advertisements around, they, too, like the Russians, are off the chain!

Not long ago, a couple of months ago, I met someone (I don’t even know how to say it?), let’s say, female.

She’s from Indonesia, she won’t be one and a half meters tall, a real orangutan as a child, a Dutchman who married her to a two-meter giant, I saw photos of their wedding, she’s exactly waist-high to him, even their Indonesian crown doesn’t help, just a micro-frau.

He brought her to Holland, but this is not Java, it got colder, he took her to a cheap shoe store:

-You, dear, need to buy boots, otherwise it’s cold.

Apparently he took the first ones he came across that seemed smaller to him,

-Try it on, won’t it be too tight?

“No,” he answers, “they don’t press!”

Well, he bought her boots in size 41, if they were too small for him, then according to his logic, they would be just right for her.

And she walks in these boots like a big man in her daddy’s sheepskin coat and mittens. It is funny and sad at the same time! All her life she wore nothing but flip-flops...

They take these uncomplaining wives and enjoy life... They take them for convenience, and not for great love...

But it doesn’t work out that way with the Russians; those who were guided by the principle of getting a submissive slave at their disposal are severely disappointed...

They constantly argued that their Western wives were very emancipated, but had no idea that emancipation came to the USSR much earlier than to Europe.

Already in the 30s, women were working hard, we had kindergartens, nurseries, women occupied leadership positions, a Russian woman spent her entire life in command of her children and her husband and managed money.

Remember from Pushkin:

Applying for a visa for a foreign husband

There are several options for obtaining a visa for a foreign husband in the Russian Federation.

• The first option is a document for meeting a potential spouse who lives in the Russian Federation.
• The second is a visa to visit the country already in the status of the spouse of a Russian citizen. Each situation has its own characteristics and difficulties when preparing papers.

Important!!! A visa is required in any case, regardless of the purpose of the visit to the Russian Federation. The exception is countries that have a visa-free regime with the Russian Federation.

In order for a foreign spouse to have the opportunity to enter the territory of Russia, the receiving party must issue an invitation. Having received an invitation, a foreign person has the opportunity to begin collecting documents for a private visa to Russia.

A private visa has the following features:

• The period of stay in Russia is 90 days.
• The visa frequency is 1-entry or 2-entry.
• The processing time is from 6 to 20 working days.

If the invitation is received, the foreign citizen must begin collecting documents.

This is a very important stage, because if the documents are not provided in the proper order, the visa may be denied.

So, let’s look in more detail at each point for obtaining a visa for a foreign citizen in the Russian Federation.

First, you need to find out whether a foreign citizen needs a visa to enter the territory of the Russian Federation. This can be done on the official website of the visa center of the country in which the foreign citizen lives. This procedure is quite simple; all the necessary information can be obtained online.

Then it is necessary to take into account that each country has its own characteristics of entry and exit from the country. So in some states it is necessary to obtain permission from the authorities to travel outside the state, especially if the period of stay in Russia is more than 90 days.

Next, you should prepare a list of documents to obtain a visa. The main list of documents includes:

• Foreign passport of a foreign citizen, you must provide a copy and the original;
• A correctly completed visa application form;
• Certificate of marriage with a citizen of the Russian Federation.

Having prepared the entire package of documents, you must submit it to the visa center and wait for the decision on obtaining a visa.

There are also two more options for obtaining a visa for a foreign husband.

Important!!! The spouse must be registered in the Russian Federation.