"Hello! I recently found out that my boyfriend kisses with his eyes open.
, sometimes it closes them. He says he loves me. But I think that when you love and kiss your loved one, you want to feel everything and your eyes naturally close. I don't know if this is love.
He also talks about marriage
(although we decided that this would be in 2 years, since university still needs to be completed), but it was said that he would not dedicate his wife to his relationship with his parents. Although I think that if there are problems (especially in family life), they solve them together.
He's not very talkative, he never talks
when they met with friends, where they were, what was happening in the family. I find out that he goes somewhere to study (foreign language, sports, etc.) in a week, several weeks, when he suddenly informs. But at the same time, everything is (sort of) serious - as he says, but I just love... For a long time I tried to understand myself, to give an explanation, to do something.
Maybe you can help with something?”
Hello, stranger!
You shouldn't be worried about your boyfriend - everything is really serious with you!
The following facts speak about this:
- He says he loves you. When a man talks about it HIMSELF, without your question “darling, do you love me?”, then that’s the way it is!
- He wants to marry you, and as soon as possible, so as not to lose you!
- He is trying to protect you from what (in his opinion) you do not need and are not interested in. For example, from family squabbles and stories about get-togethers with friends.
Men can be extremely taciturn, and nothing can be done about it! Your man only tells you what you need to know. Appreciate it!
If he doesn’t want to introduce you to your relationship with your parents, it means that not everything is going smoothly there, and he doesn’t want to wash dirty linen in public - and he’s doing the right thing! I am sure that your family secrets with him will also remain within the family circle.
As for his activities and communication with friends - are you sure that you are interested in this? If yes, then show your interest, for example, ask what he likes more - strength exercises or aerobic exercises))) Be interested in his successes, be proud of him! If you tell your friend on the phone that your boyfriend does 50 pull-ups, and he hears it as if by chance, I assure you that he will be very pleased, and perhaps after that he will involve you more in his affairs.
Now about kissing
Kissing with your eyes open or closed is a matter of habit
, and this habit has nothing to do with love. Perhaps your boyfriend:
- wants to control the situation
- wants to see that you are happy with him
- can't relax completely
- I read in a smart men's magazine that kissing with your eyes open is cool
- or all at once!
There is no need to do anything. Just remember that he LOVES you!
So when he kisses you, relax
and think about how beautiful you are at this moment and how much he likes it!
You've probably seen people kissing more than a dozen times, for example, in films. Kissing is a mysterious act during which many people close their eyes
.
Ask why kissers close their eyes
?
There is no clear answer to this question
, but there are a number of opinions about kissing that can shed light on the mystery of closed eyes.
An ancient belief about love
Superstitious Slavs diligently protected their feelings from outside influences and prying glances. In this regard, many superstitions and beliefs arose that, as people believed, helped protect feelings from ill-wishers. It was believed that love and everything connected with it are secret and intimate feelings, so any intervention could violate the sacrament and harm the lovers. One should kiss only with one's eyes closed; eyes open during a kiss symbolized the partner's insufficiently deep feeling and prudence. That’s why mothers and grandmothers warned their children quietly behind the stove: “As he kisses you, close your eyes...”
Closed eyes when kissing: what does this mean from a scientific point of view?
Foreign psychologists Sandra Murphy and Polly Dalton (according to the Journal of Experimental Psychology) conducted an interesting study: they asked experiment participants to find a certain text in several different ways. At the same time, special devices were connected to their hands, creating a slight vibration. As it turned out, when performing complex tasks and fully concentrating on their work, the experimental subjects practically did not feel the vibration, whereas in a relaxed state they clearly felt it.
From all this, a simple conclusion suggests itself: our brain is not able to concentrate on several senses at once, especially if at that moment it is affected by any additional visual stimulus. This statement applies to both text search and kissing. Thus, people close their eyes during the latter only in order to better feel it and concentrate on their own sensations.
This theory is quite easy to test in practice. Open your eyes when your loved one gently touches your lips, and you will be surprised how much the kiss will feel different. Surely he will seem superficial and is unlikely to stir up any feelings in you. This is because at this moment you will be looking at your partner’s face or at the surrounding environment, which is why your brain will not be able to concentrate on anything else.
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Modern science about the physiology of kissing
Psychologists and physiologists find a modern, rational explanation for the fact that when kissing you should still close your eyes.
Firstly, at the moment of a kiss, a person’s brain experiences a significant sensory load; if the eyes remain open, this contributes to additional load on the brain
. Such a double impact causes severe fatigue, and after a kiss a person will not feel euphoria and uplift, but rather fatigue and apathy.
Secondly, when the object approaches the eyes significantly, the contours blur and the image is greatly distorted. If at least one of the partners leaves his eyes open, then he sees the features of his beloved distorted, which will not give the person aesthetic pleasure. Kissing with the look of your partner's face blurred will not add romanticism to the relationship, which can lead to a quick breakup between lovers.
Thirdly, it was believed that at the moment of a kiss a person should completely relax and not control his emotions, but completely go into the world of sensations and sensuality. If the partner opens his eyes at the moment of the kiss, then the other person will feel awkward and embarrassed, fearing that uncontrolled emotions will make his face unattractive. Over time, such controlled kisses can become boring, and feelings will wane. This is how the ancient belief comes true that opening eyes during a kiss harms relationships.
Why do they close their eyes when they kiss?
You can often hear the question of why do you close your eyes when kissing or why do you close your eyes when kissing?
The question is not new, but it is almost impossible to get a definite answer to it, and not everyone closes their eyes during a kiss. One version of why people close their eyes when kissing is a habit or a physiological reflex. Probably, it is with closed eyes that the kiss is sweeter and more emotional. Some people believe that they do not have the right to close their eyes when kissing, because they must control the situation in everything, even during the kiss. This attitude, as a rule, is found in people with an active life position, who place increased demands on all aspects of life and their manifestations, as well as on the people around them and themselves personally. Another part of people prefers to surrender completely to their own feelings, to go under the power of emotions, so they consider it necessary to close their eyes when kissing. Sometimes the same person in different circumstances kisses with his eyes open, and sometimes with his eyes closed.
So, after all, why do they close their eyes when they kiss?
This can be explained from a physiological point of view. When kissing, the eyes close because the brain gives such a command in order to remove external stimuli that interfere with receiving positive emotions from the kiss. From a physiological point of view, the most important function of the human body is the ability to procreate, and kissing precedes and encourages this. Therefore, the brain gives a command to disconnect from reality. At the same time, during a sensual kiss, hearing loss occurs, probably for the same reason.
Let's turn to the specialists.
A Singaporean professor tried to formulate an answer to the question - why do people close their eyes when kissing? In his opinion, there are three reasons for this. One of them, in his words, is an instinctive manifestation. The eyelids spontaneously droop, protecting the human mind from an excess of emotions. This is due to the fact that it is at this moment that the brain experiences a large sensory overload. To relieve or alleviate it, our body subconsciously uses closing the eyes. It also suggests that we close our eyes because we don't want to see our partner's blurred face, since his three-dimensional image is not perceived during a passionate kiss. We can only perceive the blurry, not always pleasant to perceive, contours of our partner’s face, and we instinctively close our eyes in order to avoid this. And one more option, according to the professor, why people close their eyes when kissing is banal human modesty. By closing our eyes during a kiss, we do not put our partner in difficult circumstances, we do not force him to control the reflection of his emotions on his facial expressions.
There are many answers to the question why they close their eyes when they kiss. Each of us formulates it differently. But, initially, when we talk about kisses, we think about romance and sensuality. Psychologists recommend not only kissing your partner often, but also spying on him during the kiss, since it is then that you can learn a lot about him from his behavior. At the same time, psychologists insist that those who kiss with their eyes closed are, as a rule, romantic and fickle in nature. It is they who tend to completely disconnect from reality, being carried away into the world of emotions and feelings, without thinking about the future. According to statistics, those who kiss without closing their eyes are a minority, namely only 10%. Psychologists endow such people with the following qualities: reliability and authoritarianism, since they can always and under any circumstances control the situation, and therefore react at the slightest change.
There are many statements and each of them is controversial to a certain extent. One thing remains the same: kissing is as important to us as eating or breathing. You need to kiss a lot and often, because it is a powerful natural antidepressant.
Psychologists' opinion
Modern psychology, for its part, recommends that its clients open their eyes slightly during a kiss, as they say, “control the process.” From a psychological point of view, it is believed that romantic, superficial and easily carried away natures close their eyes during the kiss. Such people tend to be carried away into the world of feelings and emotions, without thinking about the consequences. That’s why they attribute inconstancy to such partners. Those who kiss without closing their eyes, from the point of view of some psychologists, are reliable, authoritarian natures, accustomed to controlling everything in their lives, responding to changes in a timely and correct manner. But does a partner need such authoritarianism and universal control? Not everyone prefers to be controlled, which is why relationships can easily deteriorate due to such dissimilarity of characters and desires. Therefore, before spying on your partner at the moment of a kiss, you should understand for yourself whether your lover is ready to take complete control over his life.
You've probably seen people kissing more than a dozen times, for example, in films. Kissing is a mysterious act during which many people close their eyes
.
Ask why kissers close their eyes
?
There is no clear answer to this question
, but there are a number of opinions about kissing that can shed light on the mystery of closed eyes.
Why do my eyes close?
In fact, there is no clear answer to this question.
Although there are several quite convincing explanations. When a person closes his eyes, he shows his trust in his partner and, in addition, completely relaxes. People in love, closing their eyes, surrender to this feeling, trying to feel their loved one with every fiber of their soul. In this case, the eyes close by themselves, almost on instinct alone.
When a person closes his eyes, the kiss feels more alluring, sweet and gentle.
Sometimes, for some people, their eyes just start to hurt when the picture in them blurs. After all, it is impossible for them to focus at such a close distance, and while for some it is painless, others experience obvious discomfort.
At the same time, some people, especially men, never close their eyes when kissing, which may indicate their insincerity and distrust. In addition, perhaps they want to control the surrounding space and see how their passion reacts to this affection. This type of people is not able to completely relax and surrender to the will of romantic feelings.
From a physiological point of view, a person closes his eyes when the brain gives the body a command to obey natural instincts and relax, practically without reacting to external stimuli. Even hearing during a particularly passionate kiss is greatly dulled, and young people are not at all aware of what is happening around them.
Complete trust
Does your partner close their eyes when kissing you? Obviously, he trusts you completely, and his sense of self-preservation falls asleep or is already fast asleep
, so he closes his eyes not of his own free will, but rather instinctively.
Most often, girls kiss with their eyes closed
, as well as guys who are also sensitive romantics. Authoritarian personalities, both men and women, often kiss with their eyes open, completely in control of the situation.
Is it normal or not to kiss with your eyes open? Personal experience
There is an opinion in everyday life that when a man and a woman kiss with their eyes open, this means that there is no sincerity and feelings, that is, love.
Just the other day I watched the first episode of the final season of the mind-blowing series “Game of Thrones” and there was a kissing scene between Daenerys Targaryen and Jon Snow.
In this scene, Jon Snow opened his eyes during the kiss as dragons were looking at them from the side, it turned out to be a funny scene.
As for me personally, since when did I start kissing with my eyes open and to be honest, I really like it, although many will probably say that this is abnormal.
How can you kiss with your eyes open, what an oddity.
Allegedly, when a man and a woman are overwhelmed by emotions, their eyes automatically close, immersing and completely capturing people with wild emotion. I will say right away that my first kisses were, of course, with my eyes closed, since the first times always happen mysteriously and incomprehensibly, so the process took place with my eyes closed.
But over time, I became interested and my eyes gradually began to open because I wanted to see my loved one more and more, and I read this normally when you not only feel but also see your partner.
Psychologists will probably say that open eyes are a manifestation of distrust of a person.
, allegedly at a conscious level there are already some fears and mistrust, but I think that a lot depends on people.
It was funny to watch when a guy kisses with his eyes closed and how emotions appear on his face in the process, folds appear or the eyelids of his eyes tense and then relax.
But one day I fell in love with a young man and from the very beginning we both started kissing with our eyes open, so to speak, we found each other and I want to say that this was an unforgettable feeling. When we both stare into each other's eyes trying to discern the full depth of our views.
My personal opinion is that true emotions are read in the eyes and facial expressions and you can see when a person likes the process of kissing, and when he is just trying to endure it as quickly as possible. That's why I probably started to like kissing with my eyes open.
Please write your opinion about the kiss with open eyes, it will be very interesting to read the opinions of different people.
