We invite you to take a short break from your frantic pace of life and immerse yourself in reflection. What are you doing wrong? There are things that you urgently need to change in order to become happy.
In old age, you will definitely regret that you did not get rid of false suffering and meaningless labor now.
Were too concerned about other people's opinions
They can think whatever they want about you. The fact is that you will never be able to please absolutely all people. You will be loved and hated for no particular reason. Therefore, always focus only on what is important to you. Let other people's opinions remain with strangers.
Try not to ask people for advice if it concerns your choice. No one can tell you what to do: get a divorce or not, quit or put up with your boss for another year... Everything should be decided only by your own mind.
What is the meaning of frail old age?
They often say: “old is as small.” However, the difference is significant. When my daughter was little, I guided her, raised her - and the child learned and changed. But with old people it’s completely different - it seems that they are like hardened cement, nothing can be fixed! And how to behave with an old man who has a bad, capricious character? Especially if this is a person very close to you? And he is still suffering, and how scary it is to look at it! Isn't it more merciful to help him die peacefully?
They often say: “old is as small.”
However, the difference is significant. When my daughter was little, I guided her, raised her - and the child learned and changed. But with old people it’s completely different - it seems that they are like hardened cement, nothing can be fixed! And how to behave with an old man who has a bad, capricious character? Especially if this is a person very close to you? And he is still suffering, and how scary it is to look at it! Isn't it more merciful to help him die peacefully? Anastasia
So what is the meaning of a long, painful old age? In other periods of life, sorrow, weakness and illness can bring spiritual benefit to a person and educate him. And during the period of fading life, what is the meaning of the helpless and sometimes insane state of the elderly? We asked His Grace ARTEMY (Kishchenko), Bishop of Grodno and Volkovysk, and Priest Ilya KURDIUK, rector of St. Nicholas Church in the village of Valerianovo, Minsk region, about this. Both of them went through ministering to dying loved ones.
Vladyka Artemy:
- Why, even old people can be corrected. Gradually, not with a shout, not with anger. Only everything must be done with patience: “Through your patience save your souls” (Luke 21:19) and “The Kingdom of Heaven is taken by force, and those who use force take it away” (Matthew 11:12). It's important not to get angry.
Watching someone dear to you suffer is truly scary. But who knows how scary it will be if we forcibly end the lives of these old people? Everyone says in old age: “I wish I could die and not suffer!” But when the hour of death comes, a cry is heard: “At least one more second, at least one more day, to see the sun, to see someone near you!”
What right do we have to terminate the life of an unborn baby or an elderly person? Where are the criteria that the situation is already hopeless? All measures are abstract. We did not give life and it is not for us to take it away.
For us, death is a second birth. And, apparently, old age is needed so that a person can gather strength for it.
Sometimes old age is holy, and sometimes it’s crazy. It is difficult to judge God’s providence; it is extremely difficult to give any critical analysis. But everything in this world is interconnected and there are no causeless phenomena. What kind of old age it will be depends on us, we get what we deserve. What kind of spring we had (the time of spiritual growth), what kind of summer we had (the time of exploits), what kind of autumn (the time of spiritual fruits) - such will be the winter.
God humbles a person throughout his life. We were barons, we walked through life with our heads raised, in a kind of self-indulgence. And here: a weak person sits in his own impurities, and understands his essence more and more. And it’s clear that when, for example, your liver hurts, there’s no time for pride. And for people who led some kind of spiritual life, lived in a struggle with themselves, old age, as a rule, turns out to be holy - physical passions and ambitions subside and everything positive appears.
On the other hand, foolish old age in some way, perhaps, still influences the human personality, even the one who has prayed to death. Isn't frail old age a kind of martyrdom? Winter is winter, but strength is still accumulating under the snow for next spring. Maybe in this way, in this struggle, the human personality somehow prepares itself for the transition to a new world, for the beginning of a new life - an otherworldly life.
We must not forget about the special service of such old men to those around them. We talk a lot about fasting, about prayer, about pastoral service in the Church... And I, analyzing my life, see that the brightest pages in my life were when I was caring for my sick sister in the last year of her life, which she lived with with me.
Indeed, when you meet a person in need and help him, the memory of something deep and bright remains in your soul. Of course, what happiness is there when a loved one dies after much suffering! But if you looked after him, helped him, then some kind of spiritual imprint remains, some small spiritual fruit.
It is unlikely that we will ever have real prayer, not mumbling. And if we manage to concentrate a little, then there will definitely be complacency, self-indulgence, narcissism... It is unlikely that we will have a real fast - we have no willpower. We are so gray, amoebas incapable of anything! And no matter what we do, everything with us, as John Climacus said, is consumed by vanity and pride.
But if you humble yourself, endure this fuss with the sick... There are so many examples in our Patericon: if you helped a sick person, you saw Christ. “By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).
We don't need to ask the question: should we take the lives of old people or not? We need to ask a different question: what else can we do for them? How can we alleviate their suffering today?
And our prayer, our strongest love, our depth can change even a degenerating old man! After all, the old man, in whom there is still the image and likeness of God, whose soul is immortal, perceives the creative power of those close to him who love him. His soul feels prayer, feels warmth and is transformed.
Father Elijah:
— The meaning of frail old age? I got to see the last days of my great-aunt's life. She once said: “I will confess, take communion, live for three days and die.” Relatives were somewhat skeptical about her words, especially since she, being 82 years old, was then quite strong, as they say, on her feet.
My grandmother worked on the land all her life. One raised three children - her husband was repressed after the war. She was a believer, and even under the Soviet atheistic regime she went to church to confess and receive communion. She did this especially often in the last years of her life.
And so, at the insistent request of the grandmother, the family invited a priest. He gave her communion. And just a few hours later her kidneys failed. For three days, until her death, the grandmother suffered from severe pain. Sometimes she said: “I just have to wait a little longer to cleanse myself.” And she also talked about some mistakes of her youth. I saw that she behaved very courageously, and consciously perceived this suffering as something that she needed to go through.
Thanks to my grandmother, I was once again convinced that when a righteous person suffers before death, his suffering is conscious. And those people who are next to him help him and receive spiritual benefit. On the contrary, the behavior of old people who are in the spirit of pride poisons everyone and everything around them.
Suffering is a means of healing. Just as a doctor has a whole range of procedures for a patient, so the Lord has a variety of means with which He heals souls. And the Lord spiritually heals a person who realizes that he is sick and needs a doctor. Of course, it often happens that a person protests against the Doctor’s means... But the Lord fights to the end. After all, He wants to save everyone! Moreover, God saves by means that we cannot fully comprehend or fully understand. We only see and are horrified.
Recorded by Elena NASLEDYSHEVA Photo from the author’s archive
See also: What is the beauty and meaning of old age?
Around the world at 80
Emilia Gavrilenko will soon be 81. More than five years ago, she started life with a clean slate, moving from Khabarovsk to Krasnodar.
“My husband died, there was nothing keeping me at home. “I made up my mind,” says Emilia Nikolaevna. – Changed my life 100%. The fellow countrymen were amazed: “Are you crazy? At this age? And I have never regretted it."
At home, she led the local history society. Having moved, she got bored without company and began to look closely at her neighbors the same age.
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Learn poetry and follow fashion. Grandmothers over 70 - about the secrets of vigor
“I’ll meet one at a bus stop, another on the bus, a third in a store,” she recalls. – Now there are 50 girls in our community - lively and beautiful! On February 14, 2020, we received official status - “Primary organization of veterans and pensioners of the German Village.” We meet twice a week – and that’s not enough! We go to theaters together, stage plays ourselves, organize costume parties, read lectures to each other, go on excursions...”
Many in the community, like Gavrilenko, are lonely: their husbands were buried. And some have a disabled spouse who needs constant care. Communication between people with similar life situations, with common values and worldviews, these women believe, is akin to psychotherapy.
“What should we do, sit within four walls, in a voluntary prison? Our meetings are like light in a window,” says Emilia Nikolaevna.
There is already a “regulation”: there are topics that are closed for discussion. “We are cheerful, beautiful, perky, so we don’t talk about diseases. And about grandchildren - because this topic is endless. I let it slip - fine, put 10 rubles. to the piggy bank! – she laughs.
In retirement, Emilia Nikolaevna became her own fairy: she fulfills her innermost wishes about travel. While her peers travel mainly on TV, she has traveled half the world - Europe, Asian countries, and visited Africa.
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“I ran up the volcano.” How to participate in 60 km marathons at 60?
“There is an unreasonable emphasis placed on money,” she says. “And people think that this is not available to them.” And the austerity regime helps me travel. I will compare prices for tours thirty times. And then I start saving: for 3 months I spend only on the essentials. At my age it’s easy - I don’t chase fashion, I’m indifferent to delicacies (except that I like ice cream).”
The organization also brings interesting leisure opportunities into life, because the team has more opportunities to buy tickets to the same theater at a discount. “The world is not without kind people, they see us - beautiful and lively - and try to please us. The positive message is coming back! Here’s a gift from the city Council of Veterans - we went to Krymsk for free,” adds Emilia Nikolaevna.
Probation
- You can find out the results of your other experiment, the Kyiv one, they talked a lot about it at one time...
— At the Kiev Institute of Gerontology of the Academy of Medical Sciences of Ukraine, our peptide bioregulators have been used for 15 years. They were given to people over 65 years of age. Throughout the experiment, they were regularly taken to measure their body functions. It has been proven that the rate of aging in the group of patients who took the drug from the pineal gland (responsible for the functioning of the endocrine glands) decreased by 44% compared to the control group. Another example. For 6 years, our drug to restore prostate function was tested in 25 clinics in the Russian Federation. During the tests, it turned out, among other things, that its use at the age of “50” slows down aging, increasing the average life expectancy by about 25-30%. By the way, our drugs are available in pharmacies. They are freely available.
— What causes aging to slow down when using peptide drugs?
— The cell divides approximately 50 times. By introducing one of our bioregulators, we increase the number of divisions to 60-65, and at the same time the body’s capabilities increase. In various experiments, we always received the same figure for the improvement of functions: plus 40-42%. Hence the conclusion: the lifespan of the human body is approximately 120 years. By the way, in the Old Testament it is written that God gave man a life of 110-120 years. And the word itself - Person/Age - speaks of the time allotted by nature.
Lonely Hearts. How to make up for the lack of communication among older people Read more
