Loneliness of women in Russia is becoming an epidemic

There are more people living alone today than ever before. The 2020 U.S. Census report found that 110.6 million people are unmarried, representing 45.2% of the total adult population. Among them, 63 percent had never been married, 23 percent were divorced, and 13 percent were widows. Most single people live independently. And more than half of the single population, 53 percent, are women.

There are many reasons why people choose to remain single. The main one is the way we think about marriage. Today, marriage is no longer considered the foundation of adult life. Modernity also forces people of reproductive age to focus on getting an education and having full-time employment.

“People spend most of their lives—in their 20s and even in their 30s—growing up,” says Eric Klinenberg, a sociology professor at New York University. “They invest their time in their work, they worry about their careers, and they have a very difficult time moving on to the next stage of what we traditionally think of as adulthood.”

Living alone is also becoming more popular, as is living with a partner to whom you are not married. Teens don't want to date in high school, so they enter the dating world later.

According to the Pew Research Center, more people are waiting until they find the right person they really love, rather than just hanging out for the sake of friendship.

Nine out of 10 Americans, or 88 percent, say love is a very important reason for getting married.

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“In fact, it may be easier to find a match now than ever before when you think about all the incredible technology we have today,” Klinenberg said. “But one big problem is that people today are really looking for their soulmate and are not going to compromise.”

But why do women stay single on purpose? Below are some of the main reasons for this.

Single older women are no longer considered spinsters

Unmarried older women are no longer viewed as spinsters. Previously, this was seen as unhappiness in love or inferiority, but now loneliness is a conscious choice of women. They want to get married because now is the right time, not because there is social pressure on them.

"When women's life choices were severely limited, they had little bargaining power," Pepper Schwartz, a sociology professor at the University of Washington, writes for CNN. - They had to get married or were considered defective... Now everything is different. Although most women still want to get married, they do not want it at any cost. They don't want it if it ruins their dreams."

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About loneliness

What to do if you recognize life in yourself only when it hurts or when emotions are over the edge?
And everything before that: “it’s normal,” “nothing special is happening to me,” “I can’t tell you anything interesting about myself.”

You sincerely believe in these formulations if in your experience the attention to you from loved ones is very connected with force majeure. The rest of the time they didn’t recognize anything special about you.

So you live with the feeling that you can only come to someone else with something significant.

So be it! - at some point you will think. And it will be possible to come to terms with this.

But what to do if you simultaneously live with the feeling that not a single living person can bear your force majeure, your pain or anger?

If you are used to clearly seeing how you hurt others with your pain. How you literally knock him off his feet with your instability.

And now you need to run to lift, shake and console. Not you. And him, of course.

So you live with a feeling of your own destructiveness and the fragility of your loved ones. And one way not to lose them is to take great care of them from all sorts of misfortunes, the main one of which is you.

So you try to fit between the first and second.

To be such an interesting, easy, not boring and not burdensome person.

Sometimes such a person comes to psychotherapy. And a hypothetical conversation like this could take place:

“I don’t know what to tell you, there’s nothing special inside me, it’s empty. "

"How interesting! Tell me about this emptiness."

Then a person might think:

“What a stupid therapist. How can you talk about something that doesn’t exist!”

“What a strange therapist. What could be interesting here!”

Women earn money

Once upon a time, women did not work. They stayed at home to take care of the family hearth and children. Thus, they had to rely on their husbands to provide them with financial support.

But women no longer have to rely on men financially. "I think a lot of us just don't think marriage is that important because it doesn't provide the financial security that it once did," Nora Meek, 27, said. “It’s not so necessary anymore, because I can work.” I can support myself."

Single Working Women's Day

Single Working Women's Day

August 4 – Single Working Women's Day

Single Working Women's Day is founded by the Single Working Women Affiliate Network. The importance of single women for economic and social growth cannot be understated. Every year, millions of single women work in various industries around the world, doing work for themselves and living for themselves. Single Working Women's Day reminds us how important each of them is and that the world doesn't just revolve around men

Single Working Women's Day was created by Barbara Payne to recognize the importance of these women and raise public awareness of this fact. Their role is becoming increasingly important as being a single woman is no longer a stigma in many countries and is instead often encouraged and respected as these people navigate their own path in life. Despite this, their life is not free from problems

Loneliness is a real problem in society because of the idea that loneliness eliminates your ability to live a fulfilled and happy life, especially if you are a woman. In fact, the opposite may also be true, given that single people tend to be much more social than those in relationships and have more free time to pursue their potential. In relationships where this is the case, having children obviously causes even greater difficulties in the area of ​​socialization and can become a stone around the person's neck in trying to achieve their dreams

How to celebrate Single Working Woman Day.
Start by approaching the single working woman in your life and telling them how much you respect them for the hard work they do every day. If you're one of them, you need to treat yourself to a well-deserved day of rest, you've certainly earned it! Single Working Women's Day is your opportunity to be recognized for everything you do and how hard it is to do so in a world where women still earn 80% of what men make for the same work 2020-05-12T15 : 42: 14+00: 00 Konsulmirga holidays, international festivities of international holidays, festive holiday holidays and weekends #women's holidays #Daydodin Choppy, women's holidays, international women's holidays, international holidays, unusual holidays, holidays and weekends of single working women on August 4 - August 4 - August 4 Single Working Women's Day Single Working Women's Day is founded by the Single Working Women Affiliate Network. The importance of single women for economic and social growth cannot be understated. Every year, millions of single women work in various industries around the world, doing work for themselves and...konsulmir [email protected] Organizations and consulates. Holidays, calendars, weekends. Reference Information. Jokes, humor

Women learn to love themselves

We hear a lot these days about loving yourself, as the body positivity movement advocates. The media landscape has changed so we see women as they are. The accepted image is becoming more inclusive of all body types (slim and plump), which helps women embrace themselves as they are rather than strive for unattainable ideals.

When women learn to love themselves, they will not enter into relationships that are destructive to them and will look for someone suitable. Women also learn to connect with themselves and learn to create their own happiness rather than relying on a partner.

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Reasons to be alone

single women
The attitude towards loneliness is determined by the circumstances that have become the source of life alone. It is not difficult to distinguish a woman oppressed by her lonely situation from a free and happy representative of the fair sex. Forced life without a family is burdensome and leads to psychological and neurological problems, and the conscious choice of independent existence brings satisfaction and a sense of self-confidence.

Women become lonely in different situations:

  • difficulties in relationships with men - it is difficult to get to know each other, to maintain long-term interest;
  • excessive demands on representatives of the stronger sex;
  • a long period of adaptation after the end of a previous long-term relationship or divorce;
  • focus on personal development, getting an education, building a career.

A woman is not always ready to admit to herself the true reason why she is alone. If loneliness does not cause discomfort, then there is no problem. But when a woman feels lost and spends most of her time alone and does not go on dates or meet with friends, it is worth thinking about changing her lifestyle.

A constant relationship with a partner strengthens the sense of self-worth, and in the absence of a significant other, self-esteem can suffer greatly.

Women are more educated

More and more women are receiving higher education. As of 2011, more than 10.6 million women had a master's degree or higher, compared to 10.5 million men. Women probably want to date someone who is at the same educational level as them.

Girls will also be involved in careers and higher level education, which takes up time that would otherwise be spent dating or finding a partner.

Shortage of men

John Birger argues in his book Datanomics: How Dating Became a One-Sided Numbers Game that there is a nationwide shortage of men.

He says there are 5.5 million college-educated women ages 22 to 29 in the United States, but only 4.1 million college-educated men in the same demographic. He says this is leading to a shortage of single men for single women.

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“For college-educated young adults in heterosexual dating groups in cities like Manhattan or colleges like Boston University, there are three women for every two men,” Birger said.

Rosstat showed the connection between poverty and loneliness

Russian women feel loneliness more often than men, according to the results of a Rosstat study.

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  • 30.2% of women reported that they had a feeling of loneliness, compared to only 18.3% of men.
  • 8.3% of women and 4.7% of men feel loneliness very often.
  • 60.2% of men and 47.5% of women reported that they did not experience feelings of loneliness.

The proportion of respondents feeling loneliness increases with age. Under 30, no more than 18.1% of study participants felt lonely, over 50 - already 25.6%, over 60 - 37.5% of respondents.

In the low-income group there are more elderly citizens, among whom there are many truly lonely people, says Oksana Sinyavskaya, deputy director of the HSE Institute for Social Policy. “We have early mortality among men, widowhood, and no one has canceled divorces. There is a correlation between age, low income, especially when the assessment is subjective, and the feeling of loneliness, which is associated with real loneliness, as well as with the breakdown of previous social ties, which very often happens when leaving the labor market for retirement, even if people remain couples.” ,” Sinyavskaya told RBC.

According to her, among working-age people with low incomes, more people are lonely because they have fewer opportunities for social activities.

Anxiety about the future

  • The majority of respondents with average and low incomes are worried about the uncertainty of the future - 61.7 and 70.3%, respectively.
  • At the same time, Russians who assessed their income as high have more confidence in the future: 23.4% of them reported that the future rather does not worry them, and 35.3% said that they do not consider their future uncertain.
  • At the same time, 39.3% of citizens with high incomes admitted that they were anxious due to the uncertainty of the future.

Both public sector employees (63.4%) and employees of the non-budgetary sector (61.6%), business owners and individual entrepreneurs (61.1%) and the unemployed (60.1%) are almost equally susceptible to anxiety due to the ambiguity of the future. ). With age, anxiety about the future gradually increases.

  • Between the ages of 20 and 24, 51.8% of respondents are very concerned/rather concerned about the uncertainty of the future.
  • from 25 to 29 years old - 56.4%,
  • from 30 to 39 years old - 62%,
  • from 40 to 49 years old - 65.3%,
  • from 50 to 59 - 66.3%,
  • and over 60 years of age - 58.8% (the figure is decreasing).

“Of course, the lower the income, the less likely it is that people will have savings, and for them the loss of labor income is likely to be of decisive importance, which can put the family on the brink of survival,” Sinyavskaya noted. People with low incomes are also a more vulnerable category in the labor market, since it is easier for them to lose a job and more difficult to find a new one, the economist noted. “The lower the income, the less confidence in the future; for people with low incomes it is often a matter of literally physical survival,” she said.

Income, health and happiness

Researchers have been studying the connection between wealth and happiness for decades. The general conclusion is that greater wealth means greater life satisfaction. However, once a certain level of wealth is reached, further increases in wealth no longer have as much of an impact on feelings of well-being, according to a recent paper by economists at Harvard Business School. A similar positive correlation is generally observed when comparing wealth and health: people with high incomes feel healthier than those with low incomes.

Attitude towards having children

  • The majority of Russians with high incomes believe that it is definitely worth having children (45.2%).
  • Among citizens with average and low incomes there are fewer of them - 39.3 and 29.6%, respectively.

The lower you estimate your income, the stronger your desire to delay having a child. The highest percentage of respondents who believe that they should not have children is among low-income citizens - 22%. As for intentions to have a child, if the necessary material and housing conditions are available, 19.5% of respondents with low incomes are ready to have children, but the overwhelming majority (66.7%) of poor Russians reported that they do not intend to have children at all.

Having children “usually leads to a decrease in family income,” said Minister of Labor and Social Protection Maxim Topilin. About 80% of families that are below the poverty line today are families with children. Since 2007, the Russian authorities, in response to the “critical” demographic situation and high natural population decline, began to stimulate the birth rate. One of the main measures of financial support has become maternity capital (paid to the family in connection with the birth of a second child). The program has been in effect for more than ten years, in 2020 the size of maternity capital is 453 thousand rubles, and from 2020 its indexation is expected to resume.

Almost 3 million Russian families with children have improved their living conditions thanks to maternity capital (this is the most popular way to spend funds), but at the same time, its size is insufficient to purchase housing without investing their own funds, which means that the poorest and neediest families cannot use it , RANEPA experts noted in the report “Proactive Demographic Policy: 10 Years Later.”

On bread and potatoes

  • The daily diet of low-income citizens most often includes potatoes (85.6%), bread (83%), cereals and pasta (82.8%), and dairy products (72.6%).
  • Russians with average incomes reported that they eat meat products every day (87.4%), fresh vegetables and fruits (83.8%), as well as potatoes (83.8%) and bread (79.1%) leading among low-income Russians. .
  • For citizens with high incomes, the main daily products are primarily fresh vegetables and fruits (87.6%), meat (87.3%), dairy products (74.5%), cereals and pasta (74.8%) and fish products (71.4%).

People with low incomes have a limited consumption basket, while citizens with average and high incomes have more funds to ensure a healthy diet, stated Andrei Pokida, director of the Center for Socio-Political Monitoring at the Institute of Social Sciences of the Russian Presidential Academy of National Economy and Public Administration. According to the recommendations approved by the Ministry of Health on “rational standards of food consumption that meet modern requirements for a healthy diet,” a person per year should eat 140 kg of vegetables and melons, 100 kg of fruits, 73 kg of meat products, 22 kg of fish products, 325 kg of dairy products, 96 kg bread products, 90 kg of potatoes, 260 eggs and 24 kg of sugar.

The poor get sick more often

A Rosstat study showed that the incidence of disease among citizens with low incomes is higher than among citizens with average and high incomes. For some types of diseases, statistics differ significantly. For example, hypertension and/or coronary heart disease occurs 2.3 times more often among poor Russians than among Russians with high incomes (46.4 versus 20.2%), ​arthritis and arthrosis - 2.8 times more often ( 22.9 versus 8.2%), and diabetes mellitus - 3.3 times more often (16 versus 4.9%).

Susceptibility to diseases depends on the quality of life, as well as the environment, Pokida noted. Russians with low incomes cannot always afford high-quality food, regular rest, and sports, unlike a group of people with higher incomes, he continued. A negative environmental situation can cause chronic diseases such as acne, the expert gave an example.

Alcohol "equality"

Alcohol consumption (beer, wine, vodka, etc.) practically does not depend on income level: 77.3% of citizens with high incomes, 83.1% with average and 80.5% with low incomes reported that they drink alcoholic beverages throughout their lives .

Over the past year, 63.9% of rich Russians, 70.4% of Russians with average incomes and 60% of low-income citizens drank alcohol. Fewer respondents admitted to drinking alcoholic beverages in the last month, while their number in each income group remains proportionate: 41.2, 45.6 and 38.3%, respectively. It is important to remember that the quality of alcohol consumed varies from person to person, Pokida said. This is what determines the health status of citizens in the future, he noted.

Women have the best role models

Girls grow up with the best role models. We have iconic women that we look up to because of their careers and contributions to society. We see them as real heroines, like Ruth Bader Ginsburg. We also see strong and powerful women in media and entertainment. Instead of cultivating idols and princesses waiting to be saved, we see figures like Wonder Woman or Tiana from The Princess and the Frog.

These are the main reasons why many women remain single. Many of them decide to take such a step consciously. A decrease in the number of officially registered marriages is observed in many countries. This leads to certain demographic consequences. Is it worth taking any action to encourage marriage, or should modern trends be considered the norm of the civilized world? There is no clear answer to this question. The situation is such that many women today remain single, regardless of whether it is a conscious choice or fate.

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What do lonely women do at night?

For many, it may come as a complete surprise that women sometimes really need temporary solitude. No other halves, no children, no parents. Just give yourself time to your loved one and do what you have dreamed of for so long.

So, 10 things women can do when they are alone at home:

1. Eating and not sharing your favorite foods.

Sometimes you really want to eat a whole chocolate bar or drink a can of your favorite drink and not share it with anyone. Can't a woman afford this? Of course it can. When you're home alone, all the goodies belong exclusively to you.

2. Watch your favorite series or TV show.

Oh yes, how we miss this - just lounging on the couch in front of the TV and watching programs and series. They are not suitable for children, and husbands condemn them for them. Therefore, when you are alone, you can calmly sit in front of the TV with a wide-eyed look, cry over the plight of the heroes of your favorite series, or rejoice at the next learned dance of the guys from the next show.

3. Dance and sing.

Every woman, left alone, always turns on her favorite songs at full volume and starts dancing. And it doesn’t matter what she’s doing at this time: cleaning, washing in the shower or preparing food. He definitely sings along, even if half the words sound something like “ne-ne-ne...”. Then you will definitely cry because you didn’t enter the conservatory and didn’t become a famous pop singer.

4. Take a break from the company of loved ones.

Of course, we love our husbands and children very much, and we cannot live without them. But sometimes it’s so nice to be alone with yourself for a little while.

5. Take a bath for several hours.

A warm bath with aromatic foam, bliss and pleasure, all kinds of masks for all parts of the body. And there is no one outside the door, and no one asks you to leave quickly. Fairy tale!

6. Read books or magazines that you didn’t have time for.

Many women have a favorite unread book, covered with a thick layer of dust. In rare moments of loneliness, that very hour X comes when the time comes to open the book on the bookmark and devote yourself entirely to reading.

7. Do household chores without interference or assistance.

Children always want to help, thanks to this they learn to be economical. But while they help, they often create an even bigger mess. Of course, this doesn’t make our love for them any less. But sometimes you just want to put things in order without any education, and go about your business in the remaining free minute.

What a thrill it is to wrap yourself in a blanket in several layers and get plenty of sleep.

9. Do yoga.

Yoga is not just a fashionable hobby of recent years, but a real art of relaxation and tuning into a good mood. And it is absolutely not necessary to be able to do complex asanas, because everyone knows the lotus pose!

When going shopping without a husband and children, any woman begins to feel as if for the first time in several years she has left the cell of a monastery located on the outskirts of civilization. If in a shopping center you notice a woman with madness in her eyes, energetically sorting through clothes on hangers, you know that this is one of them. You can try on everything you like and forget about time. And then you won’t buy anything, but you’ll still be happy.

just wondering..maybe there are people like that among us who eat and watch TV?))..it’s boring

what else can you do? the neighbor is lonely. I meet her when I pick up the children from school, almost always at home in the evenings

I was never alone, at first I lived with my parents.. then I got married.. I hung out with my husband, then the children left. Now in the evenings I gather the children and things to do, things to do, laundry, cooking, homework. Internet, TV, read a book, clean up, etc. no time to myself . only during the day or when the children are sleeping)))))

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