These fancy numbers, of course, look ridiculous when it comes to the joys of motherhood. And yet they show: our compatriots are in no hurry to join in this joy not only for the third, but even for the second time, often limiting themselves to the birth of one child.
However, there are often good reasons for this - the poor state of the reproductive system and the unsatisfactory general health of the woman after the first birth. How to change the situation?
This issue was discussed at the conference “Women’s Health in Contemporary Perspective”.
Genetic infertility
Infertility can be caused by genetic factors. Genetically determined problems can occur in both men and women.
- In men, such problems are most often associated with a violation of the qualitative or quantitative parameters of sperm, with a low content of sperm in the ejaculate or with their complete absence, as well as with an abnormal arrangement of chromosomes.
- In women, genetically determined infertility is often associated with chromosomal abnormalities, polycystic ovary syndrome, primary amenorrhea, premature menopause syndrome, etc.
Problems that seem at first glance to be genetically determined may actually be caused by other, external factors. Therefore, before talking about the presence of genetic infertility in any of the partners, it is necessary to undergo a very thorough examination.
You do not have kids? They will!
Women who do not have children often come to me: “Why are there no children, will there be any, is it possible to get pregnant”?
There are many causes of infertility. But not everything lies in the inability of the woman’s body itself to have a child. Most often, the reason is in the woman herself, in her perception of the unborn child, in her fears of having children in general.
These may be fears from incorrectly formed behavior patterns:
- the birth of a child will interfere with your fulfillment, I will not be able to achieve more in life;
— pregnancy and childbirth will ruin my figure;
- I smoke, I can’t quit and I don’t know what kind of child I’m giving birth to as a result of this habit;
- suddenly my husband stops loving me, etc.
And what’s most interesting is that these barriers invented by women sit very deep in the subconscious. “It can’t be, I sincerely want a child,” clients often object to me.
I will now give one example from practice when a woman asked a similar question. I SEE the reason for her infertility, or rather information comes to me. Next, I introduce her to her and offer a work option - she herself needs to convince her subconscious that giving birth to a child is not scary.
Let's call her Inna. Everything in her life is going according to plan, she is wealthy, financially fulfilled, and has a husband. Have no children. The whole problem is that she could not bring the child into her plans without being afraid of the frightening, unknown future of her future with him. Strange? Believe me, our subconscious presents not such surprises.
What I advised Inna:
If she imagines that she already has a child, what she will do after his birth, where he will sleep, where his crib will be, who will help in raising him, etc., a place will appear in her subconscious for the birth of a child. Clearly set a goal: “I need a child.” Then, you can no longer describe in fact where he will sleep, who he will go out with, when she will have to leave for work, but how she would ideally dream it. And she needs to plan in full - an elite kindergarten, a school in London, and her income will somehow increase 10-20 times. Here you can DREAM!
Thus, some women need to see in advance, imagine life with a child, and everything will work out. And so, uncertainty about the future is an obstacle to the birth of a child.
And then there will be a conviction that with such a future you can give birth.
I would like to say a few more words about the very practice of “convincing” your subconscious. Immediately there will even be some kind of reluctance, laziness to write, nothing worthwhile will come to mind.
But the next day, pick up a pen again and write on a blank sheet of paper your future with your child.
Our consciousness gets used to something new within 21 days. You may not write every day, but one day something will click inside and a completely different view of the child and his appearance in the family will appear.
I wish you a dream come true! It turns out we need to work on it. In fact, it is such a fun activity!
And bringing beneficial fruits into our lives.
Ksenia Lebukh
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Source: https://nebesnoe.info/2010/07/08/u-vas-net-detej-budut/
Jacqueline Bisset
- "Winner"
- "Two on the Way"
- "Honest Courtesan"
Our photo list of actresses over 40 who do not have children ends with Jacqueline Bisset. This woman has been among the TOPs of the sexiest and most beautiful Hollywood stars for many years, but she has never been married and has no children. Bisset claims that marriage, and especially motherhood, would prevent her from making a dizzying career and living her life the way she wanted.
Svetlana Kamynina
- "Interns"
- "Deli Case No. 1"
- "Simple things"
Svetlana became truly famous after participating in one of the very popular Russian projects “Interns”. Kamynina says that her childlessness is directly related to the fact that she has still not been able to meet a reliable man. The actress does not want to give birth to a child just for herself and is still waiting for her prince.
Stop asking women why they don't have children.
Recently I was having lunch at a restaurant, and a boy of about 14 was sitting at the next table. When the infant at another table began to cry, and his mother began to calm him down, the teenager and I exchanged knowing glances. But his next comment took me by surprise: “Soon you will be like that, right?”
When I told this young man that I did not want to have children, he continued to press me and said that I would soon change my mind.
What? I'm almost 40 and my teenager is starting to convince me that I still want to have children? This undermines my reputation as an adult, so I ended the conversation by answering categorically and briefly: “No, I won’t change.” I decided not to let off the steam that had accumulated in me over all the years when I had to answer such questions.
The opinion that an adult woman should undoubtedly want to have children crosses all age, gender and social boundaries. Once in a nail salon they tried to convince me that I was “not too old yet,” although I don’t worry about my age at all. Then there was a friend who made big eyes and assured that “I would be such a great mom!” Although I have never spoken about my thoughts about becoming a parent.
You may believe it, you may not. I am a healthy happy woman and I love children. I am confident in my ability to raise them. I was a professional teacher, I have the appropriate education, after all. I just don't want to have my own children.
As a person who simply has no “reason” to have children (we don’t take into account genetic diseases that can be inherited; infertility problems and the like), I present a never-ending topic of conversation when I declare that being a parent is not for me.
Inevitably, you will have to hear one of the following reactions: “Maybe you just haven’t found the right partner.” Or “you’re just financially unstable right now,” “you’re worried about overpopulation or how the environment will affect your children.” Yes, these are all valid arguments for not having children, it’s just not my case.
The New York Times even wrote an entire column about what to say when asked why you don't have kids (hint: don't get defensive). Of course, you can answer this sensitive question delicately, or you can switch places with the person and ask in response: “Why are you asking about my reproductive choice?”
In our society, the number of women who have reached 40 years of age and do not have children has doubled from 1970 to 2000, although the percentage of such women is not that many, only 15%. Women today have greater reproductive choice: they can prevent unwanted pregnancies and continue to pursue their careers, regardless of their marital status and the presence or absence of children. And yet, culturally, we still view childbirth as an integral social role of women and value it far above other aspects of a woman's life. Doctors prefer not to sterilize women who have not yet given birth, even if the birth of a child carries serious risks to the woman's health. There's also the fact that women who choose not to have children spend more time at work because they don't have to worry about raising their child. Even priests call this decision “selfish.”
Expectations that I will become a mother are gradually coming to an end, not because my friends know me well, but because I am slowly leaving childbearing age. I imagined what conversations might be like if society did not perceive women only as creatures for procreation. Friends would ask me about my creative projects and my small business. My parents would value the time I could spend traveling with them more, and we could talk about politics rather than the school concert or teen soccer game. With my girlfriends, we could talk about financial stability, relationships and work. If we were discussing their children, then where I could, I would sympathize with them, and the rest of the time I would tell only the truth that I have no idea what it means to be a parent.
Today, the #MeToo and #TimeIsCome movements emphasize that a woman needs a choice, that a woman has her own opinion and personal experience that needs to be trusted and valued. The time has come when a woman gives up motherhood and is asked not why she did it, but what she decided to do instead.
Don't ask anyone about his or her reproductive choices. Dot. Instead, look at the person and ask what they have done and achieved in their life other than having children.
Comments
Kim Cattrall
- "Sex and the City"
- "Police Academy"
- "Beyond the possible"
Among popular middle-aged actresses, there are women who have consciously chosen to live without children, and Sex and the City star Kim Cattrall is one of them. She always had a very busy personal life, but in none of her men did Catherine see a man who would become the father of her children. When the actress was over thirty, she announced her decision not to have children, and has still not retracted her words. Moreover, the actress believes that children can only cause affection if you communicate with them for a short time; if the communication process is delayed, according to Cattrall, they cannot cause anything other than irritation and headaches.
Renée Zellweger
- "Cold Mountain"
- "Judy"
- "Bridget Jones's Diary"
Renee Zellweger has already passed fifty, but the actress still has not become a mother. Some media representatives wrote that the woman dreamed of having a child when she was forty, and she was in a relationship with Jim Carrey. But rumors remain rumors, the couple broke up, and Renee did not give birth to either Jim or her subsequent men. Zellweger herself believes that children have never been an end in themselves for her, and she believes that they are more of an addition to an established personality than the meaning of life.
Meaning of life
I have noticed that a woman who makes such a choice is in something like an endless search. This is a search for the meaning of life, which is not necessarily known to the mother. A mother can feel completely satisfied and give meaning to her life just because she has a child. The child is the meaning. If a woman does not have children, she is constantly in search of meaning. This mobilizes her and pushes her forward. She constantly lives in this small anxiety, very rich and promising, which pushes her to many actions. And keeps her young!
Ravshana Kurkova
- "I'm standing on the edge"
- "Balkan Frontier"
- “And in our yard”
Some famous actresses do not hide the fact that there is a great tragedy behind their childlessness. Thus, the oriental beauty Ravshana Kurkova had to survive the death of a child in the womb. The actress and her first husband, photographer Semyon Kurkov, were happy when they found out about the pregnancy. However, at a later date it turned out that the child inside Kurkova had been dead for a month, and if an artificial birth was not carried out urgently, Ravshana herself could die from blood poisoning. Kurkova’s marriage did not withstand such a test, and the actress has not yet decided on another pregnancy.
