I will repay, or history repeats itself
Every woman first has the status of a daughter-in-law and suffers from the oppression of her mother-in-law. Then she herself becomes a mother-in-law. It would seem that a woman should remember her suffering, draw conclusions and say to herself: I suffered from my mother-in-law, now I will not oppress the innocent girl who married my son, and I will not cause her suffering. No! This is not happening! A woman, moving from the status of daughter-in-law to the status of mother-in-law, seems to say to herself: well, now you will answer for my suffering. She rolls up her sleeves and, with increased force, begins to do to her daughter-in-law what her mother-in-law once did to her.
Why is this happening? The explanation is obvious: the entire existence of man is built on competition. Men fight for territory, for power, for markets, for women. Well, women - women fight for men. In the rivalry between daughter-in-law and mother-in-law, non-contact battles predominate, although sometimes they are fought in such a way that scraps fly through the back streets.
A mother-in-law is always neither a friend nor an enemy, but a rival.
We take it as a basis that you have found a good mother-in-law. She tells her daughter-in-law that she is always on her side and, like a woman, she will always understand and support her. Don't believe it! In the most critical moments, the mother-in-law will always take the side of her son, because he is her blood, flesh of her flesh. In relations with your mother-in-law, you should always be on your guard, never relax and keep a reasonable distance. It is ideal to live as far away from your mother-in-law as possible. Best of all - in another city. But this condition, unfortunately, is rarely met, so I propose some rules that will help maintain a comfortable relationship with your mother-in-law.
how to survive mother in law from home
The text under the cut made my evening today.
After reading it, I realized that my mother-in-law is quite adequate, although in the morning I thought otherwise)
...My mother-in-law gave me another piece of advice: “Are you not getting enough sleep? Can't get anything done? Do all your work at night and sleep during the day!” — Now I’m tormented by thinking about how to implement it? I have three children: the eldest is a schoolchild, the middle one does not go to kindergarten, the youngest is 2.5 months old... ...And she also proves to me that baby food in jars (vegetables, meat) is specially made unsalted so that parents can salt it to their own taste But you can’t give it unsalted... All children’s cosmetics are chemicals. And in general it’s all chemistry!!! In addition to Amway, you can even drink it... When I told about my daughter’s tummy problems (gas, colic, I don’t know), my mother-in-law firmly and confidently answered 25 years ago, having given birth: And at that time we had nothing, no colic , not gas workers! ...You can’t do a massage - they’ll kill your liver. ...And my mother-in-law advised me to rub garlic on my child’s gums so that the gums would rupture and the teeth would come out!!! ..."Don't call them a bunny, they sleep poorly (who, hares???!!!) ...The child can lie down alone. And then the story: “For example, I left you at home alone and went to work. I’ll come running at lunchtime, feed you, and back... You were about a year old. Where will you go from your crib?..” And I survived, people!!!! ...My nephew had diathesis. The mother-in-law called the second daughter-in-law and dictated the recipe. RECORD: put the boiled yolk in a spoon and hold it over the fire until the OIL melts out of it. Apply this oil to your cheeks...My mother-in-law insisted on boiling clothes, etc. Do you think from germs? Nope!! This is so that the colors fade, they are not bright! For what? So that the child does not get used to bright things!! Otherwise it will be like “these painted ones” (in the sense of tattoos, piercings, etc.)!!! ...My son is not yet 3 months old, naturally, we eat at night and cry because he has colic. One morning he tells me - I went to the pharmacy here, they sell earplugs - buy them and sleep peacefully at night. And the fact that you jump up all the time, and you yourself don’t sleep, and it’s harmful for the child - he will get used to your hands... One of the most beautiful things I remember was an incident in the maternity hospital. The mother-in-law came into the room demonstratively wearing a gauze bandage. and sat down decorously in the corner (of course, so as not to spread the bacilli to the child), sat, put on white canvas gloves to the fullest. My mother began to rush around nervously, because... She didn’t have a bandage, she clearly felt inferior. And the mother-in-law sat and then lay down on the floor near the door to check if it was blowing. At that moment the doctors came on a round. They saw this picture and asked me: “Why are you here, mommy? Do you allow sick people to see the baby?” ... We are going to go for a walk with the baby, I dress him lightly, according to my malicious habit, my mother looks and is horrified, “How are you dressing him, what will PEOPLE SAY???!” ... And from pearls ... we have not yet been born, so everyone relates to the situation of pregnancy ... my dad ... is a communist, an intelligent and respected man ... said ... while you are pregnant, never kick cats (I don’t kick them at all) .... don’t look at the fire (it was not possible to find out which one, the gas burner or the fire in the gas water heater, as well as to find out why this should not be done!) ... And when the baby was about a month old, she solemnly came to remove the evil eye from us, on Like, because of this evil eye, I don’t have enough milk. I’m describing the process, check it out girls - she brought 3 villagers with her, went specially to the state farm and bought raw eggs, ordered her to undress, well, at least she left her panties on and thank you for that, lie down on the sofa and started rolling this egg all over me... I did the same with my husband and daughter... And then these eggs were ceremoniously flushed down the toilet, just like that, raw and whole... ...To avoid an umbilical hernia, you need to throw a diaper with poop on the roadway, and so that more cars will drive over it. Well, go ahead, I say, quit. She waited until night and went, seriously... It (cosmetics) causes infertility. Don’t bathe your daughter in foam, you want her to have children. My mother-in-law told me that when your teeth come in, you should hit them with a wedding ring. Does anyone know why to do this? ...My mother-in-law’s new glitch: only the children’s feet and butt are cold. And the rest of the leg doesn’t freeze, because there’s a BONE there! Therefore, a child in socks and a diaper can now be taken out into the sun...And my mother-in-law explained to me that a 6-month-old child, when he eats puree, gets dirty ONLY because I feed her from a plastic spoon, but if I feed her from a metal spoon, the child will not get dirty ...And my dad’s mother told me to wash my breasts before every feeding, because there is DUST on them...Mine was also indignant: how can it be that you don’t wash your breasts before every feeding???????? the chest sweats and the child eats all this sweat along with the milk..."Boys under five years old cannot eat chocolate, it affects potency." ...My mother-in-law (heh, speech therapist) says that it’s wrong to give a child fish until he speaks. fish are dumb - and the baby will be dumb... It is necessary to give the girl a spoonful of grated apple with honey and lemon juice every day, otherwise her reproductive system will not mature!!!!!! ...It turns out that the Sears are charlatans who specifically wrote such a book for OUR CHILDREN, so that they would grow up weak and dependent, so that Russia would not threaten America...What temperature are you bathing in? You know that every day the degree must be INCREASED!!!! - yeah, and after a week, add salt and pepper... ...My mother advised me - you can’t let the child sleep with the light on - the eyes WILL COLOR...Our eye also festered from birth (the film did not come off, then it was washed). So my mother-in-law told me that it was because they had sex before giving birth, and it got in her daughter’s eye... guess what... My son and I have chickenpox. The muter calls and says that we need to turn our underwear inside out and hang it out the window. It looks like it’s chickenpox, the wind will blow it away... ...I was suggested to me immediately after the maternity hospital not to feed at night, citing the fact that her husband (my husband’s stepfather) now gets up at night and eats (he is 65 years old) and all because his mother I breastfed for a long time at night...The baby’s things cannot be dried at sunset, and you cannot bathe him after twelve o’clock either. For a child to be smart, you need to save his fallen off navel, put it in a bag and let him unfold it at three years old. And for a child to be rich, it is necessary to cut his hair above his fur coat... My mother-in-law donated her poop instead of her grandson's poop, because... he didn't poop on time, but tests are needed for summer camp! By the way, the results were excellent.
Now tell me, is your mother-in-law adequate? Or make us laugh with another “pearl.”
Divide the beds correctly
It is no coincidence that they say that two housewives cannot get along in the same kitchen, so if you had to share the roof with your husband’s parents, find yourself an unoccupied niche in the household. Exactly the niche! If you do nothing, you will be accused of idleness. If you grab at everything in a row, this will be regarded as an attempt on the owner’s territory, and war is guaranteed for you, so a correctly found niche will save you.
For example, your mother-in-law is a wonderful housewife, but she doesn’t know how to sew, then start sewing something for your husband, even some shorts for the dacha. If you don’t know how to sew at all and don’t even know how to pick up scissors, then find some master, let them cut out these shorts for you, and you will pretend with a smart face that you are finishing the seams.
The main thing is that your mother-in-law watches you with work in hand, and then sees the result of your work on her adored son. This is enough to create a reputation.
Please take into account that all your economic efforts should be intended only for your husband, that is, her son. Any other innovation of the daughter-in-law will be rejected and even written down as a liability.
If, for example, you notice that your mother-in-law does not sew curtains, and you decide to eliminate this gap in the household with your own hands, sew new curtains and hang them on the windows, they will simply be removed as an object that brings chaos to the traditions of the house that have been established over the years.
I also don’t recommend getting involved in cooking. A big mistake many women make is trying to cook something from their husband’s mother’s repertoire.
The daughter-in-law may be interested in the recipe, she may even learn it by heart and quote it at every opportunity, but under no circumstances should you try to put this recipe into practice.
This is the very competition that the daughter-in-law will never win. Yes, there is a huge temptation to cook his favorite pancakes with meat (pampushki with garlic, charlotte with apples) according to his mother’s recipe. It seems to the daughter-in-law that, having mastered her mother’s famous recipe, she will kill two birds with one stone: she will please her mother-in-law, since she will continue the family tradition, and she will please her husband, since she will cook his favorite dish. But this is an illusion!
The trick here is very simple: it doesn’t matter what or how the wife cooks. She can do it very well and the dish will be great. But it will be different. It will definitely be different because the same ingredients in different hands give different results. This is a known fact. And the son was used to eating what his mother had prepared all previous years. Habit is a great force! And in this case, the habit will become the weapon that will bring victory points to the mother-in-law. Therefore, never try to cook his mother’s favorite dishes! And anyway, why do you need to cook? Let her do it, accustomed to doing it year after year. And your diocese is a bedroom. Do some magic there!
Living with your mother-in-law under the same roof - yes or no?
Living with her husband's parents , especially her mother-in-law , can be very difficult for a young wife. Especially when conflicts and mutual disrespect arise.
The fact that most men cannot stand their mothers-in-law is no secret. There are even many jokes and anecdotes on this topic. But it is very often difficult for women to find a common language with their mother-in-law . Why is this happening? Let's find out...
The fact is that it is difficult for her husband’s mother to come to terms with the fact that another woman has appeared in her son’s life. But before, the mother was in first place, the son obeyed her in everything and helped her. Now the mother-in-law feels unwanted, hence the feeling of hostility towards the daughter-in-law. The husband's mother often interferes in the personal life of the young, commanding what they should do and how. The daughter-in-law begins to take offense and assert her rights. The circle closes...What to do? How to live under the same roof with your mother-in-law and not go crazy?
First of all, it would be great if the young couple had a separate entrance to the house. Then you don’t need to worry that someone is controlling you and forcing you to do something, that you live one way and not another. Convince your husband to make repairs and build another entrance. Even if your house is connected, agree not to enter each other's rooms without knocking. Everyone must respect the privacy of the other. Imagine you are walking around the room naked, and your mother-in-law appears at the door. It shouldn't be like this! Therefore, agree at the very beginning of your life together. Of course, it’s better to let your husband speak about this as a son.
If you can't build a second entrance, separate bathroom or kitchen, share the responsibilities. If necessary, determine who in the family does the shopping, who cleans, and how the rent is divided. It is better if everyone takes care of one thing and does not interfere in other areas of life. Of course, some rules in the mother-in-law's house can simply unsettle.
Sometimes even a very simple action can unsettle you. For example, even a poorly washed sink or an overflowing ashtray can cause a scandal. Don't get mad under any circumstances! If you are to blame, tactfully apologize and don’t do it again, and if your mother-in-law did something wrong, politely explain to her that you don’t like it.
Most of the fights between a young wife and her husband's mother take place in the kitchen. Everyone has their favorite dishes and cooking principles. In this case, the mother-in-law wants to impose her opinion on her daughter-in-law and prove that she knows nothing about cooking. So try to avoid conflicts in the kitchen, and if it comes to that, show a little diplomacy. Ask your mother-in-law to tell you how this or that dish is prepared, show your interest in cooking. Maybe this will touch her, and the mother-in-law will become more lenient, besides, she can teach a lot, especially if cooking is not your forte.
When a young couple has a child, there are usually even more fights. Having a mother-in-law under one roof is great if you need to go somewhere and leave your child. But don't let her raise the children instead of you. You can listen to some of her advice, but not criticism about how you care for your child. How you feed him and what you dress him in. This will have disastrous consequences - you will begin to doubt yourself as a mother, in the sense of your marriage, and, as you know, there is nothing good in this.
Will you have to live with your in-laws under the same roof? Calm down! First, talk to your spouse, ask what kind of lifestyle his parents lead. Then, together, set rules and boundaries for your privacy. Privacy is a very important element in a relationship if you plan to live with your relatives under the same roof.
