A man and a woman in search of happiness. How to build an ideal relationship. Part 2. Creating a family (Vladimir Sergeevich Lavrov)

October 10, 2020 Author: Alexander Kharin

Category: Personal and spiritual development, About men and women, Articles by Alexander Kharin, Articles by our authors, Articles about psychology, relationships and personal development

Who is he, a Strong Man in a woman’s life?

There are almost no strong men. The earth does not give birth to them. And if she gives birth, it is with great efforts. Such attempts give birth to twins or triplets. And it’s like the first birth. Therefore, “these” are born one per several hundred square kilometers, once every tens of years.

A strong man is like a concentrate of great strength. When you cut an onion, it’s hard not to cry. When you open a powerful medicine, it seems like poison. Anything that is strong immediately strikes you on the spot, and only then, after a while, its benefits are visible. People don’t want something strong, people want something “sweet”, and if it’s bitter, then to taste, so as not to overdo it. A strong man is real, he is bitter.

Such men are always inappropriate and always not to your liking. They come to change EVERYTHING, to fill everything with the force that moves them. They are irrepressible, seem arrogant, but do not belong to themselves. They are extremely inconvenient, too hard and intractable to be loved.

It's hard to love them, and it's even harder to maintain love for them. It seems that they are doing everything to make love crash on their shores. But that's not true. Instead of complex words, tender feelings, poetry and champagne, they take and immediately make life. In one fell swoop, one decision. Finally and irrevocably.

Because of their determination and their inconvenience, many of them do not live to old age. Strong men in any situation immediately go on "you", get into trouble, run into the barrel of a gun. They leave this life without regret and without words of farewell, in English.

A real strong man in a woman's life

In general, women get little of them. They are very independent, restless and short-lived.

And if they get it, they scoop it all up into their bosom, closer to their heart, in one big handful, and don’t let go. Never.

They lodge it in their chest. And a woman can languish in this cage like a bird. Or... It will become his second heart and will beat with his, male, in unison.

She won't have a chance not to love him. He will not allow himself to be rejected. Both painful and scary. And she is next to him, either believes in him as God and loves him... Or she is afraid and hates him fiercely.

She can only surrender to his power or betray him. He himself will not leave her or betray her. Such men do not betray. The weak betray.

They are not looking for a woman for comfort, they do not need housewives and do not need princesses.

They look for their destiny in a woman. They want to fulfill their destiny through a woman. This is the great meaning of their life. And she, along with the children and all her luggage, will be carried either in her arms or on his hump, as God will command.

And if she betrays herself, he will not lay a finger on her or insult her. He will leave barefoot and naked. And the next day he will cut out a piece of the heart with a hot iron and will not let anyone in there for another 20 years. And then it’s up to fate to decide.

It is difficult for the earth to give birth to a fetus with the name Strong Man.

It’s hard for a woman to accept this gift. He doesn’t choose beautiful girls, he doesn’t choose super smart girls, he chooses the one who can overcome his fate and take the difficult cross from his hands, or at least can hold on to it.

The woman every man desires

Female beauty lies in two aspects that are closely related to each other. They cannot exist one without the other. The first is external beauty. The visual picture is very important for a man. He wants to enjoy the beauty of women, and the beauty of all the ladies at once. But since this is physically impossible, it means that he will choose the most beautiful girl for himself. She does not have to be a fabulous beauty, but well-groomed and neat. Moreover, a sloppy beauty will cause disgust rather than admiration.

A beautiful girl definitely knows fashion. This doesn't mean attending fashion shows. It’s just that a woman knows what clothes suit her perfectly, emphasizes her strengths and hides her flaws. Thanks to clothes, she expresses her inner state: bright outfits mean joy, a desire to attract attention; dark - feel comfort; outfits with patterns - a playful mood.

An attractive body is an important component of a lady’s external beauty. In this case, you should not follow generally accepted standards, but listen only to yourself. When a woman loves her breasts, hips, butt, legs and knows how to emphasize their advantages, those around her notice this and also begin to admire.

Without inner beauty, the charm of a pretty face will quickly evaporate. What is inner beauty? This is femininity - softness, sophistication, lightness, grace, sexuality.

It’s interesting that discovering femininity and expressing femininity are not the same thing. We will talk about this in the next paragraph.

Many women have potential within them that needs to be unleashed. The rest have already opened it, but do not use it, that is, they do not show themselves as feminine. The goal is to be able to interact correctly with men. Namely:

- show kindness, tenderness, love for a man;

- be flexible, be able to give in, take the other person’s side;

— respect your partner’s interests (hobbies for cars, fishing, etc.);

— accept gifts correctly (with sincere gratitude);

— support a man in any difficult situation (personal life, business, etc.).

The result of the above skills will be enormous male gratitude and respect.

Gossip, discussions, tears - this is all for girlfriends. The sensitive psyche of a man is not able to withstand a woman's brainstorming and explosion of emotions.

Every woman feels her divinity to one degree or another. This manifests itself at the time of bearing and giving birth to children, while flirting with men, in intimate relationships, etc. If she always loves herself, she will be desirable to any man. How is self-love expressed? Respect yourself, pamper yourself, allow yourself to enjoy every opportune moment of life - be it the smile of a child or the purchase of a new handbag. The secret to winning men's hearts is to enjoy life.

The most important thing a man values in a woman is her companion’s ability to inspire him. Why do some representatives of the stronger half of humanity reach unprecedented heights in the material world, while others are content with “crumbs and water”? Next to the man from the first group there is almost always a woman who gave impetus to the advancement to the world of wealth. A man from the second group, as a rule, lives either alone or with an eternally dissatisfied wife. Please note that the “saw” method has not yet helped anyone achieve heights.

How to inspire your partner? Every man has hidden energy. If a woman can consider his incredibly beautiful essence, she will push him to take the necessary actions. Moreover, this happens subconsciously. For example, a lady admires the courage of her partner. Then the man will become the owner of incredible strength. If they are attacked in a dark alley, he will repel the attack of an entire company, because he will be confident in himself.

Main points. First, the admiration must be real. Secondly, the presence of a spiritual connection between partners is important, because without it it is impossible to see the secret “treasures” of the human soul. Why should a woman inspire? This is the nature of the stronger sex - they need motivation for every accomplishment. If a woman awakens desires in a man, then these desires are the best motive!

You want to protect a fragile and defenseless woman, surprise her and perform feats for her sake. Therefore, a woman’s main strength is in her weakness.

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Loving a strong man. What does a woman sacrifice?

If a strong man appears in the life of a woman, the most ordinary woman, she has to forget about many things.

There will be no bliss, relaxation and bliss. There will be no eternal shopping, manicures and makeup, even if he has a million in his pocket. There will be a difficult, complicated path. Famous faces, shop windows, millions of beauties will flash in life. And there will be no time to stop, admire and bask in the rays of the sun and glory. No need.

If a woman appears next to a strong man, she is not his wife yet. She will become his wife when she meets him at three in the morning from a difficult trip. She will be his wife when she wants to bear him children - not for her own pleasure, but so that there will be children in his life from her love. She will become a wife when she unconditionally goes where other people need him.

She may accidentally become the president's wife and live happily ever after in a prosperous marriage. She may suddenly turn out to be the wife of a businessman, and in the morning - a Decembrist and a convict. She won't have to choose her fate. She will choose only once - him. And he will choose her fate himself, his own.

Decisive. Solid. Confident. Stubborn. Capable of the most heroic things in life.

And at the same time... Unadapted to small joys. Unhappy in everyday life and leisure. Often awkward in love and simple-minded in matters of image and fashion.

This is a strong man in a woman's life. I don’t know if it’s desirable!

What a pity that the earth does not give birth to such men now. Or maybe she doesn’t give birth, because such people turn the world upside down, change destinies, and turn rivers back.

With them, oh, how restless and difficult it is!

You have to choose: Easy and happy, and most importantly sweet. Or it hurts, in attempts, sometimes bitterly, but for real.

What should a real woman be like and how should she behave?

A real woman must have certain behavioral skills. In this regard, the following requirements are put forward to it:

a woman should watch what and where she says, and not chat incessantly;
You should avoid swear words, even among close friends;
you need to be restrained even when there is unbridled fun or a loud scandal around;
You should never raise your tone, shout or swear (it’s better to remain proudly silent, thinking about a plan for further actions);
You can be capricious sometimes, but know when to stop.

A woman's behavior is a kind of military strategy. Only by choosing the right line can you achieve success.

Despite the fact that the man is considered the head of the family, it is the woman who determines how strong the bonds will be. What qualities should a real woman have to become a homemaker? We are talking about the following:

a woman must be loving, able not only to take, but also to give warmth to others;
she should radiate kindness, compassion and be able to forgive both minor and major mistakes;
a woman should show wisdom and patience in all life situations;
you need to have the skills of a real psychologist in order to be able to find a way out of even the most difficult family crises;
whatever one may say, family life is inextricably linked with numerous household chores, and therefore, among other things, a woman must be hardworking;
As the head of the family, wife and mother must be fair and honest.

As you can see, it is not the man, but the woman who is the head of the family. Playing so many roles, she does not allow the family hearth to go out.

Striving for the ideal, it is useful to know what a real woman should be like. In the eyes of a man, you will be the best and most irresistible if you follow the following basic laws:

Being a real woman is a complex philosophy. You should not think that such abilities are inherent in beautiful ladies from birth. This is the result of hard work and life experience.

We often hear about what a real woman should be like through the eyes of every man. The fair half of humanity seems somewhat dependent and not as perfect as the representatives of the stronger sex. However, women have many advantages, which are expressed in the following:

they have acute intuition, which allows them to subtly feel and understand what is inaccessible to a man;
they are attractive and can achieve a lot with their beauty;
they produce children;
much in this world is provided specifically for them - fashion, cosmetics and everything related to the beauty industry;
no matter how heated the argument may be, it is enough for a woman to shed a tear and she will be the winner.

Of course, looking from the outside, we can say that it is much easier to be a man. But it is unlikely that any lady will agree to swap roles and bodies.

How many demands are placed on the fair sex in the modern world! Unfortunately, this is an objective reality. In order to win your place in the sun and get your prince, it is important to be a real woman. This refers to a combination of beauty, style, intelligence, wisdom, many skills and character traits. A woman should be different - weak, strong, a housewife, a breadwinner, a lover, and a good conversationalist. In fact, playing all these roles is not as difficult as it might seem at first glance. The main thing is to love yourself, believe in your strength, and then the world around you will reciprocate.

What does love mean to a man?

Often the fair sex accuses men of being cold, inattentive, lacking romance, complaining and getting angry when they do not behave as they expect. Because of this, misunderstandings, resentments, disappointment arise, couples collapse, and only because women forget that their understanding of what love is and how it is expressed is radically different from men’s. This is not surprising when people belong to the opposite sex, they have different attitudes to life, different desires, dreams and needs.

In order not to worry and worry once again, and especially not to be offended by your loved ones, the fair sex should find out what love means for men and how they show it.

If a man likes a woman, the first thing he will do is start courting her, showing signs of attention so that she notices him. He will appear more often in her field of vision. Do everything to impress her. His task is to conquer the one who aroused emotions in his soul and no matter what: appearance, intellect, manners. For love, neither appearance, nor age, nor intelligence is important, everyone likes something different. And when he feels interest, he does everything so that she becomes his, if he is not disappointed in the process of courtship.

When he understands that this is love, he is ready to do anything to win his beloved. A man in love is always there, especially when you need him. He is ready to help, support, become a patient listener. When he is in love, he is ready for such sacrifices. It is important for him to be close to her as often as possible in order to charm her and keep her competitors away.

A loving man is a responsible man. He knows what is important to him in life, what he strives for, he understands that he is responsible for those he loves, and therefore it is men who are self-confident and clearly know what they want, as well as what kind of woman can be with with them nearby, they are able to create a strong family. If he truly loves, but has not yet found himself, he will do it, because he understands that love for him is a responsibility and must be borne.

He knows about his responsibilities, about what he needs to feel confident and strong, where to draw strength for achievements, because it is not easy for the stronger sex to take their place under their sun. When he decides to start a family, it becomes even more difficult. And his willingness to take on his shoulders responsibility for the safety, comfort and financial well-being of his wife and future children is a manifestation of his love.

Not poems under the moon, romantic surprises, willingness to take risks, the desire to show fearlessness while driving a car or motorcycle, but precisely the willingness to be responsible for your family and its well-being for a man means love. Everything else is a manifestation of the youthful need for self-affirmation, the desire to receive approval and admiration. Romance is wonderful, but you won’t be able to live a happy and long life on it alone.

For the survival of a person, especially small children born in a couple, it is important that people have a roof over their heads, funds for food, medicine, protection, amenities that maintain health for many years and make life more comfortable and comfortable for all family members. pleasant. Therefore, when a man loves, he understands that he is earning money not only for himself, but also for the whole family. He has no problem giving money to a woman, and in most families it is the fair sex who manages the family budget. And most often, only what the husband earned when the woman is on maternity leave or has become a housewife to take care of the children and the house. But they don't take every penny from him.

Men who suffer from greed, stinginess, and hide money cannot love. They have not learned to love themselves, which is why their women are the kind who consider it possible to take everything from them and constantly demand more, although it should not be a secret for them that in certain economic conditions not everyone can earn a lot, although they have the profession of a doctor , teacher, engineer, etc.

But instead of deciding together how not to suffer from want, they torment their husband with criticism. And he, being a neurotic, fights back as best he can, withdraws into himself, gives up and does not try to find a way out of this difficult situation, even if solving the problem took several years, but together it could be solved. In such a family, no one loves anyone, but only constantly demands something; it is not love that reigns in it, but despondency and disappointment.

When a man does not know how to love himself, he is not able to love someone else, so he often finds a woman who will not initially respect, support and help him during difficult life trials that everyone experiences. However, the representative of the fair sex herself, who believes that a man will suddenly begin to earn money after the wedding, when at the time of their acquaintance he clearly did not earn enough to provide for a future family and did not look for options on how to correct this situation, she herself does not know how to love herself, how and others.

Confident people understand that love is responsibility. And before starting a family, especially having children, they think about how they will ensure the needs and safety of the new unit of society, and make all the efforts that depend on them in advance, including learning new things, so that their loved ones will not what they didn't need. After all, not only men, but also women are responsible for their loved ones. Therefore, people who love themselves and know how to love others always evaluate their capabilities before taking a serious step and taking responsibility for another person.

Showing respect for the woman with whom he decided to connect or linked his fate. A self-confident man who knows how to love himself does not need to assert himself at the expense of a woman, insulting her, or humiliating her, trying to subjugate her, adjust to himself, mold her into a convenient image of a wife. On the contrary, he needs a woman whom he will be proud of, admire, who will inspire him and make him want to demonstrate the best that he is capable of.
He will not intentionally hurt her or cheat on her, because it is important for him to surround her with care, to make her feel comfortable and cozy next to him, to make her feel good and happy. After all, it depends on whether she will continue to be with him. How strong their couple will be depends on this.
The man who loves will not look at other women, much less look for adventures or new experiences. If he is not neurotic, but confident in himself, he feels good next to one woman, the one who won his heart, the one to whom he wants or has proposed marriage.

He will not violate her personal boundaries, limit her desires if they are related to her studies, the desire to improve her level of knowledge, take courses, or self-realization. He is not afraid of her success and is not going to forbid her anything.
He will accept a woman as she is. He doesn’t care what kind of figure she has, if he loves, he loves her all - entirely. This, of course, does not mean not taking care of yourself and letting yourself go. In the end, excessive excess weight, but only excess weight, is harmful to health and needs to be gotten rid of by reducing food portions and finding a rhythm of physical exercise that will be a joy.
And of course, a man who loves wants children from his woman who will continue his family. They always want children from the woman they love.

Many quarrels and problems in relationships arise due to the fact that people have not learned to understand others, draw conclusions, or focus on their actions, and not on their words. Even though our actions more accurately reflect how others feel about us, we prefer to hear how people feel about us. Men are not always ready and want to talk about their feelings too often. And there's nothing you can do about it. But that doesn't mean it's impossible to know if he really loves you, even if he doesn't talk about it as often as you'd like.