How to let go of your ex? I understand that nothing good will happen to him.

It often happens that a relationship with a man is over, but he still remains in the woman’s thoughts and emotions. And although there is an understanding that there will be no return, the emotional connection remains. Most often these are unlived emotions of resentment, pain, anger and regret. And if at this moment she wants to create a new relationship, she will step on the same rake or meet a man who will be a mirror of her emotional state. How to let go of a past relationship with a man? This is exactly what this article is about.

Before entering into a new relationship, you need to let go of the old ones and work on your mistakes.

This means leaving pain, fear and emotional wounds in the past. A sign that your relationship is over is calmness and gratitude to your ex for everything that happened between you.

Follow five steps to letting go of an old relationship before entering a new one.

How to let go of your ex? I understand that nothing good will happen to him.

Alexandra, good evening!

From your message, I understand that you have an uncertain relationship with the father of your child. But you simply described the situation and didn’t ask anything. What is your question? As I understand it, your main problem is this: “And I can’t define my feelings for him, I think I still love him, but I understand that nothing good will happen to him and I can’t let him go and I can’t build another relationship because I don’t understand why.” I want and somewhere deep down I hope that maybe something will change.”

Due to the fact that you still have hope for some changes, there is no talk of letting the person go. Considering the fact that this is your first man, you loved him and he is also the father of your child, then this person will always be in your life. But only in what status is your choice. No one will make this decision for you and no one will tell you what to do right. The loss of a person is always a trauma of loss. Moreover, you already have experience of losing him and you know how painful it is, so it may be scary to let him go.

“I don’t know how to build his relationship with the child, sometimes I want to completely limit him with the child because I have a strong resentment towards him, I understand this myself, but then it seems to me that this is somehow not right, and we communicate well with his parents, the child is often there It happens." - He should build his relationship with his child, not you. You cannot physically build someone's relationship, you can only build your relationship with someone. You also have the right to be offended by him, since his actions brought you a lot of grief and heartache. But the child is not to blame for the fact that his parents do not have a good relationship and he (the child) has the right to equal communication with mom and dad, and it is not in your power to take this away from the child. Your grievance is a personal matter between you and the father of your child. And only you must resolve this issue as adults who are ready to take responsibility. The fact that you communicate well with his parents is only a plus for the fact that your child will have grandparents.

To begin with, you can express to the father of your child all your feelings that you have and have previously arisen in connection with his behavior. But this must be done without humiliating his personality. A more constructive conversation would be to say in a calm tone, for example, the following: “When you do/say/behave like that, I get angry/it offends/insults/humiliates me, etc.” List all your feelings. After this you should feel better. And for the future, make a rule for yourself to react this way to the circumstances and behavior of others in conflict situations.

I hope I helped you and clarified the situation a little according to the information you provided me. Know yourself and you will definitely succeed! Knowing yourself always bears fruit! If you need help - contact us! If you have the opportunity, give me feedback on how much I was able to help you. Thank you!

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How to get your beloved man back

Your loved one has left you. Of course, your first reaction is tears, resentment, bitterness and the question “why?” But really, why did he leave?

Perhaps he was initially unworthy of you , so Beautiful and Successful. Well, thank God he left! This means that a strong woman needs a strong man. Or maybe it’s just you, and you’re the one who stopped living up to him? If so, then change for the better , become the one he fell in love with, and it will be easier to return your beloved man.

The women's site sympaty.net wants to talk today about how to get your beloved man back: about the main mistakes women make and the right actions in this situation. If you decide that you really need this person.

The main mistakes of women who want to return their beloved man

Constantly thinking and worrying about the departure of your loved one

Yes, it hurts. Yes, it's unpleasant. But this has already happened, so is it worth reliving the moments of separation again and again? So it’s not far from deep depression. As one of my friends said: “Cry about a man one day, call him a goat and a freak on the second, and forget about him once and for all on the third.” It won’t be the same as before, so stop feeling sorry for yourself. Calm down and read on .

Beg him to come back

You are a woman who knows her worth . Therefore, no hysterics with tears and lamentations like “Come back, I will forgive everything!” Just think about this phrase. If you are going to forgive him, then he is to blame for something. If he comes back, he will continue to feel guilty towards you , and this will affect your relationship. While he has an alternative - to go to a woman who does not blame him for anything.

By begging him to come back, you are calling him to return to the very conditions from which he is ready to flee . Nothing in your life has changed yet, just like you have remained the same , so this will only push him away even more.

Don't push for pity

There is no need to tell him how lonely and difficult it is for you without him, that you cannot live without him, and how bad you feel. By appealing for pity, you yourself will look pathetic , and you don’t really want to live with someone like that.

Don't blame him

No matter who you communicate with - acquaintances, relatives, girlfriends, personally with him - do not touch on the topic of your breakup . If this cannot be avoided, then no complaints or accusations against your loved one. Yes, you regret that this happened, but nothing more. The manifestation of aggression on your part, hysteria, accusations, insults, open revenge, will only convince your partner that he made the right decision by breaking up with you.

Don't use children as bait

Don’t resort to tricks like “Our son cried all night, asked where dad was,” “The child is asking you to come back,” etc. This way you will hurt him, perhaps even return him to the family for a while, but you won’t be able to return a full-fledged relationship and love this way .

Don't ask about your rival

Don't try to see her. And don't ask for details. Often, comparing yourself with your loved one’s new passion is not in your favor. She is usually younger, slimmer, more beautiful. And the details of their relationship hurt, because they are unlikely to be forgotten. So why do you need to know all this if you intend to return your loved one?

All that remains for you now is to let go of your man and wait for some time . You will need it to calm down, weigh everything, decide whether the man is really worth the effort you have put into getting him back , and to change yourself.

In any case, you will no longer have the same relationships as before . You will have to change to start a new relationship - with him or with someone else. If you don’t change anything in your life, then you risk having the SAME relationship, which will end in the SAME way

What to do to get your beloved man back

Calm down and stop constantly thinking about his departure

“Easy to say!” - you will think. It’s the same as “Don’t think about the elephant”, it turns out exactly the opposite. And you take your mind off it . Immerse yourself in work, start reading fascinating detective stories, go on vacation with your friend abroad.

And as soon as you mentally begin to “chew” the situation of your loved one’s departure again, catch yourself doing this and start thinking about what is good in your life : you are pretty, healthy, you have a car, wonderful parents, you are lucky with your job, etc. d. Learn to shift your attention to more positive things.

If you meet your loved one from time to time, when talking to him, let him know that everything is fine with you

You don’t need to talk about your feelings, the details of your new life, you don’t need to brag about your successes (including on the personal front), or complain about problems and loneliness. The less information he hears from your lips, the better. If you are making progress, let him know about it from third parties.

Treat him smoothly, as you would an ordinary acquaintance. Let him feel some indifference, but goodwill . Eliminate the proud tone and phrases like “You see, I managed without you!”

Look at your photo together more often

Remember the best and happiest moments of your life, but not with sadness and longing, but projecting these relationships into the future . Feel happiness, love, tenderness, passion again. Rejoice that all this will happen soon, and you will be together, because you both feel so good ! This is called visualization of what you want. By the way, you can hang a joint photo on your wish card.

But don’t forget about the existence of other men around you. Who knows, perhaps your true happiness and love is yet to come!

And the last, but most important point in the problem “How to get your loved one back” - take care of yourself

Now you are a relationship-free girl with more time. So spend it on improving yourself : go in for sports, self-education, sign up for some dancing (strip dancing, Latin, belly dancing), personal growth courses, communicate with friends and acquaintances. You must make your life rich and interesting in order to change.

Analyze your mistakes in relationships . What did you do wrong? Did you constantly nag him or did you stop taking care of yourself? Have you refused sex, become bored, feel uncomfortable at home, or are not a good cook? It is important to find your mistake in order to prevent it in the future.

Become a well-rounded personality, feel like a woman , flirty, playful, but interesting to men.

While working on your inner world, do not forget about your appearance . Change your image, the way you dress, make up, hair color or haircut. Become well-groomed.

Now you need to always look good ! Always! After all, you can meet by chance, so don’t let him think that you are trying for him. Let everything look natural, as if you are different now, and your breakup gave you the impetus for change. He will watch your successes, will notice how good you look, and the thought will flash through his head: “Who have I lost!” Add here memories of good things that remain in the memory longer than all the bad things, and now he already has nostalgia and interest in the new you.

When the beloved returns, the relationship should become different , because the man returns not to the old you and not to the previous relationship from which he left, but to a new one.

True, most often, the previously loved one is no longer needed. But you decide that yourself.

Of course, there is no guarantee that your loved one will return. But by working on your mistakes and changing yourself, you will become wiser and better . And this always increases your chances of success, even if not in your previous relationships, but also in your new ones.

How to get your loved one back after your own mistake

But what about those women whose man left because of her infidelity? That is, everything about you suited your loved one, but it was you who made the biggest mistake, which you now regret.

You could just change it, and your loved one would find out. You could go to someone else and then realize that you only need him, the first one. It is women who can forgive infidelity, but men are tougher in this regard , and it is more difficult to return a loved one.

I’ll say right away that you don’t need to make the above mistakes. Don't beg him to come back and don't push for pity .

The best thing you can do in this situation is to ask for forgiveness, from the bottom of your heart : “I know that nothing can justify my action. I am guilty. If everything could be turned back, this would never have happened, but nothing can be changed, and I hate myself for it! I'm sorry I hurt you. I realized that I love only you and I don’t need anyone but you. Only you can decide whether we will be together. I made the biggest mistake in my life and now I sincerely repent to you. I'm sorry…"

Walk away and give your partner time to think things over . Wipe the guilty expression from your face and never remember the past again if he forgives you and comes back.