Psychological educational program: what to do with a child if he is a gambling addict

Casinos and slot machines have long disappeared from our streets, but for a true gambler there are opportunities everywhere. Especially in our age of technology. It’s just that the forms of addiction change a little (betting, underground casinos, online casinos, forex, etc.), but the essence remains the same.

People usually avoid this topic (what do they care about gamblers and other people’s problems), but only until the moment when a gambler appears in his own family, in the person of his own husband. This is where the question arises - what to do?

Signs of a gambling addict - how to identify a gambling addict in your husband?

It all starts, as always, with small things... “Write a little bullet”, “Why not try an easy way to make money? I won't lose anything! And in general - everyone is in the family! ”, trial attempts to play on the betting, etc. The first steps to gambling addiction are always an opportunity to get distracted, a game, ordinary entertainment. Or the way is to get away from problems in the family (a grumpy wife, difficult conditions, problems at work). The first loss sobers you up, the first win inspires you and pushes you to reach new heights - what if it works out again!

And wow, it really works again.
Step by step, harmless entertainment develops into a continuous race for winning
, and fixing broken “brakes” is becoming more and more difficult every day.
How do you understand that this moment has already arrived and it’s time for your spouse to be treated for gambling addiction? Let's understand the “symptoms”...

• Immersing himself in the gameplay, he sincerely believes that he will literally soon become the richest man in the world, “and then you will live!”

• He disappears for days on end in a virtual or real gaming establishment.
• He is not interested in everyday and family problems, but his eyes light up when he tells you about the great “strategy” of his game.
• He increasingly withdraws into himself. Even outside the game, he is unable to focus on his wife and children.
• The family budget, if it hasn’t burst yet, is already bursting at the seams.
• His emotional companions range from unbridled joy and delight to anger and aggression. Mood changes occur suddenly, constantly, and sometimes even for no apparent reason.
• If he is out of the game for a long time, he begins to experience withdrawal symptoms. Irritability appears.
• The need to increase the size of the bet or increase its frequency is growing every day.
• He begins to get into debt, coming up with a variety of excuses to make excuses for you (car repairs, a gift for his mother, a friend getting into trouble, etc.).
• He tries to give up his “hobby,” but breaks down and comes back.
• When there is an urgent need for money (to pay bills, pay off debts, etc.), he begins to play more often and intensely.

• At the “altar” of gambling addiction, he abandons not only his usual hobbies, but also his work.
• Intimate relationships gradually fade away.
• All conversations are limited to formal phrases.
• Relationships with friends are gradually deteriorating. Guests are coming less and less often.
• The number of loans taken is growing.

Courage, the first euphoria of winning and excitement are quickly replaced by complete hopelessness and loneliness. And, unfortunately, the main “symptoms” appear when the gambling addict can no longer stop on his own.

4 stages of gambling addiction:

• 1st phase
  . He plays periodically, from time to time. In dreams there are winnings. Doesn't raise rates. He wins quite often, sometimes big.
• 2nd phase.
  He often loses. Quit work so that he has enough time to play. Starts to get into debt. Unable to pay debts, I have to take valuables to a pawnshop. Often - without asking his wife.

• 3rd phase.
  The reputation is hopelessly damaged. Relationships with friends are severed, relationships with loved ones are on the verge of breaking. The family boat is going down. Even when he feels remorse, he seeks an excuse for himself. Panic attacks occur periodically, and it is no longer possible to cope with addiction alone.
• 4th phase.
  Complete despair and hopelessness. Thoughts of suicide or escape arise. Problems with law enforcement agencies begin, and a craving for alcohol appears.

Guide to action:

• Start by helping yourself. You have the right to protect yourself emotionally and financially. Don't blame yourself for your problems as a gambler. Support can help you make positive choices for yourself and support your loved one in the right way. Provide assistance without losing yourself in the process.
• Don't go through this alone. Dealing with a loved one's gambling addiction is very difficult. This can cause overwhelming feelings. Do not rationalize the problem by explaining it with the phrase “that was the last time.” You may feel ashamed, thinking that these problems are only happening to you. But that's not true. In our country, a huge number of families are struggling and have already overcome this scourge. Talk to people. Read the forums. If you are having a particularly difficult time coping, seek help from a therapist. In any case, it is necessary to understand this situation and not let everything take its course. A gambler in the family causes mixed and complex feelings.
• Set boundaries in financial matters. If your loved one is serious about getting treatment for gambling addiction, it would be best if you took care of the family expenses yourself to make sure that the problem gambler does not have the opportunity to relapse. However, this does not make you responsible for controlling his urges to play. Your first responsibility is to make sure that you are completely financially secure.
• Think about how you will respond to a request for money. Addicted gamblers are quite successful at begging for money, directly or indirectly. They may use begging, pleading, manipulation, and threats to get what they want. It will take time and practice to learn how to react and respond to his demands correctly, and make sure that you do not stimulate the player with your behavior and do not lose your dignity.

Husband is a gambling addict - what to do, how to behave correctly with a gambling addict in the family?

When a beloved husband turns into a gambling addict, family life becomes unbearable. Addiction brings suffering not only to everyone around him, but also to the man himself. Is there a chance to return him to normal life without medical help? Yes, if phase 3 has not been completed. How to cure your gambling addiction - expert advice:

• The first and most important nuance: without the help of the husband himself, it is almost impossible to return your gambling addict to a normal life. That is, the husband must understand and admit that he is addicted
  , and that it is time to treat this addiction before the family boat finally sank. And this is the main problem. Because not every gambling addict is able to admit his addiction even to himself. To open the husband’s eyes, a rather serious shake-up will be required, which will force him to look at everything from the outside (serious problems at work, a large debt, the risk of a complete break in the relationship, etc.).

• Have a serious talk with your husband.
  Explain what is happening, what is at stake, what needs to be changed to avoid complete family collapse.
• Pity for a gambling addict and any indulgences are strictly prohibited.
  Yes, addiction is a disease. But this does not mean that you no longer need to work, go to the store, take care of children, etc.
• Constantly tear your husband away from the monitor
  with any requests or urgent matters.
• Find something more exciting for your husband to do than play.
  Preferably, not a one-time interesting event, but a regular new hobby, so that there is simply no time left for playing (fishing, driving, sports, etc.). It is advisable that you both share this hobby. This will make it easier to control the “treatment” process.
• Do not sort things out and do not try to solve the problem through a scandal
  - this will not help, and will even worsen the situation.
• Convince your spouse to see a doctor
  . Find an experienced specialist who can help your gambling addict rediscover the meaning of existence. Modern specialists have many “tools” for treating this addiction – from laser exposure to coding and acupuncture.
• Switch your husband to another addiction
  . The game is, first of all, chemical processes in the brain, excitement and adrenaline. Knock out a wedge with a wedge - find an activity that causes an adrenaline rush. For example, skydiving.

• Your main enemy is the hope that “everything will go away on its own
  . It won't work. No pity for the gambling addict! And the more decisively you act, the faster he will recover.
• Return your husband's interest in real life
  - use any methods that will tear him away from the game and make him remember real pleasures.
• Have you gone through all the stages and nothing helps?
  Prepare insurance for yourself against a financial hole , threaten divorce and leave your husband alone for a while. If all is not lost, he will come to his senses. Create for him, if not the conditions, then the appearance of them, in which he will be left alone with his addiction.

Causes of gambling addiction

Gambling addiction is a phenomenon that requires serious analysis. First of all, it is necessary to understand the origins of such pathology in order to further begin to eliminate the voiced problem.

Experts identified the provoking factors for gambling addiction as follows, giving wives the opportunity to understand the changes taking place with their husbands:

• Thinking error . Some overly gambling representatives of the stronger sex believe that they can control the course of the game. In their minds, the “I want - I try - I win” scheme begins to work. However, this logical chain in practice turns out to be a myth, which threatens with serious consequences in the form of financial losses up to and including complete ruin.
• External influences . Some parents are loyal to the fact that their beloved children can afford to organize a game of cards or start a heated discussion of new computer technology during a children's party. Social networks are full of offers for all kinds of entertainment, which in most cases are of a gambling nature. As a result, a habit of such leisure develops, which can develop into gambling addiction.
• Educational mistakes . As already mentioned, some parents indulge in behavior towards their children. Double standards or excessive strictness on the part of dad or mom should also be voiced. Excessive fixation on material values ​​can also lead over time to the fact that a mature boy becomes a gambler.
• Envy of rich relatives or friends . Some greedy individuals do not see the light when they see the financial success of people from their close circle. Without the opportunity or basic desire to earn money for a decent living for their family, they begin to actively visit gambling establishments.
• Bad habits . Quite often people with a stated problem become gambling addicts. Among the frequent visitors to casinos, horse racing and underground fights you can find alcoholics, substance abusers and drug addicts. This is not a prerequisite for the development of gambling addiction in a person, but it often provokes the problem described.
• Depressive disorder . This phenomenon may be not only a consequence of male compulsive gambling, but also the reason for its introduction into the system. With some problems of an emotional nature, people may try to get rid of mental discomfort with the help of new thrills from gambling entertainment.

The stated causes of gambling addiction should sometimes be considered as a complex phenomenon. After the launch of such a mechanism of self-destruction, the so-called “pleasure center” begins to deform. He will no longer react to healthy emotions from eating delicious food or communicating with a loved one, but to feverish euphoria from the expected win.

Is it necessary to live with a gambling addict, and when should I put an end to my relationship with my gambling addict husband?

Treating a gambling addict is an even more difficult task than treating a drug addict or alcoholic,

due to the lack of motivation for treatment on the part of the gambling addict himself.
The same addict is at least able to realize that he is addicted and needs treatment. But a gambling addict sees no reason to change anything, and even serious problems with work and family are not arguments for a person. For a person who has passed phase 3 or 4 of gambling addiction, the period of treatment can take up to several years, and it is not a fact that it will be successful - according to experts, the percentage of those who have finally recovered is quite low. Therefore, the decision - whether to continue the fight for her gambling husband or to burn bridges - is made only by the woman, based on the situation.
If there is no talk of any feelings (except pity), if the children begin to suffer from the husband’s “hobby”, and the situation worsens every day, then, most likely, the most correct decision will be to break off the relationship. In this case, there is at least a chance that the husband left alone will feel that he is going to the bottom and will draw the right conclusions.

Consequences of gambling addiction

• personality degradation;
• huge debts, bankruptcy;
• loss of family and friends;
• falling down the social ladder;
• problems with the law, including imprisonment;
• the emergence of concomitant addictions (alcoholism, drug addiction, substance abuse);
• suicide.