Wise wife
“A true wife is one who is pure, skillful, truthful and brings joy to her husband.” Sage Chanakya Pandit
A wise wife does not mean smart!
In the East they believe that without love a woman will be unsatisfied, no matter how successful she is in other areas of life. This is also confirmed by European sociological studies, according to which the majority of women consider love with a man and a happy marriage (not necessarily legally formalized), where they could receive protection and care, to be the most important things in life. The husband is the owner, the wife is the manager. This is approximately how we can “translate” the ancient Vedic laws of building relationships in the family into modern language. Family life is primarily about cooperation. Therefore, the first thing you need to do is choose a suitable life partner who would be willing to cooperate. At the same time, it doesn’t matter at all how handsome, rich and romantic he is. If he doesn't match your mindset for a certain relationship, he's probably not your soul mate. Example: lovers get married, while he believes that “she owes me,” she believes that “he owes me.” There is no cooperation, everyone is unhappy, six months later there is a divorce. And all because boys and girls do not know the “rules of the game”: marriage was based only on sympathy, and not on a deep understanding of the purpose of life together. Success in family life depends 100 percent on the woman! Moreover, this very state of affairs corresponds to both the interests of the family and the interests of the woman. Think about it: if she takes complete and thoughtful leadership of the relationship, no one (including her husband) can stop her! Therefore, every woman just needs to become a real professional in this “native” sphere for herself - the sphere of relationships. In fact, this is the most important work that needs to be done first. If you don't do this, no one will do it for you! The purpose of the family is unity. “It is very important for a wife to have trust and respect for her husband. He must have a goal in life that you will not be ashamed to support,” say the Vedic sages. If the man’s goal is only to enjoy his wife, and the wife’s goal is to enjoy her husband, nothing will work out for them. It is impossible to satisfy each other all the time! Our feelings tend to become satiated, and if the goal is only pleasure, discontent appears in the family and in the end the spouses disperse. Without a goal, family life turns into a runaway train. What is the right purpose of family relationships? Ancient scriptures say that spouses should strive for unity at all levels of existence: material, subtle-material and spiritual. When all levels are balanced, the spouses turn into a kind of integrity. But if progress is made only in material matters, and spiritual development is missed, then the end is inevitable - complete disappointment: in your husband, in yourself, in life. But when there is complete harmony between spouses, they experience amazing sensations: a sense of security, satisfaction, stability, self-confidence and ever-increasing love not only for their half, but also for other people. They feel full of life and success - and this is passed on to others. Submission is not humiliation! The spirit of competition, the desire for success and dominance in society and family are the hallmarks of male psychology. The male “I” wants to be the “boss” - it demands self-respect and approval! If he is gently pampered, everyone benefits. And a woman in a subordinate, but not inferior position, accepts this natural order of things - and gently yields, thus awakening all the positive reactions of her husband. But our contemporaries are accustomed to strive for masculine goals and achievements, competing with the stronger sex at work and at home. Under no circumstances should you do this! The male ego, when faced with opposition, becomes like an “elephant in the garden” and destroys everything in its path! And then everything is lost. You are likely to be met with anger, stubbornness, irritability, the cold shoulder, misunderstanding, and even insults. Women of Vedic times knew many different “secrets”: with the help of subtle changes in clothing, tone of voice, home interior and a special combination of tastes in food, they easily controlled their husbands and achieved everything they wanted, while remaining affectionate and helpful. But this is “aerobatics”, perhaps unattainable for contemporaries. Another interesting point is that a wise wife does not use manipulation! The main work is on oneself (to be cleaner, brighter, to be faithful and to love your husband), and then the space around itself changes for the better. This happens because women have very powerful energy, it greatly influences the environment. Don’t forget, a woman creates a reason, a man realizes it!
Perfect wife. How to become an ideal wife
- Understanding is something that men often lack. A good wife should support her companion, give him compliments, and ask about his affairs. The pursuit of common goals and spending time together also contribute to the longevity of the union.
- Men like women's initiative. The girl should be mysterious and unpredictable, then her husband will be interested in her personality.
- Many couples lack trust, and this is what can destroy the spouses' relationship. You need to trust a man; home should be a place where he feels comfortable and calm.
- A woman must be independent, because she cannot give herself completely to a man. Your own goals and interests will help you avoid becoming a shadow of your spouse and remain an individual.
- Well-groomed girls are pleasing to the eye and make a man proud of themselves, so don’t forget about your appearance.
- It is important for a husband to have confidence that his wife will always listen and help with advice, which strengthens the relationship. You should try to listen carefully to your man, show interest in his problems and solve them together. Do not forget about selflessness, tenderness and care.
- An intelligent woman should realize that her husband is not ideal, that his character has both pros and cons, so sometimes it is worth forgiving something or making concessions to save the marriage.
- When a child is born, a wife should not forget about her husband and spend her free time not only with the baby.
The Wise Wife and the Laws of a Happy Marriage:
* It is the relationship that needs to be improved, not the man. Confusing these concepts is detrimental to a marriage. You chose your husband yourself. It's up to you. * A wife must be ready to follow her husband in everything and share all his aspirations and principles. * A wife's duty is to accept any circumstances in which her husband finds himself. * A husband rarely changes only because a woman wants it - because all changes in a man are in the hands of a woman. * Accepting your husband with all your heart for who he is is the best medicine that will support him and give him faith in success. * Consider him smart and significant, and this will always bring good results for you. * If you have already made your choice and, as it seems to you, it is not very successful - do not despair! Make a list of your husband's good and bad qualities. Cover the negative qualities with a piece of paper and look with great enthusiasm only at the positive qualities and forget about the bad ones. By considering only the good traits in your significant other, you will significantly improve the atmosphere in the family. Tags: Wise wife , Golden rules of girls, Laws of a happy marriage.
Those who have been together for a long time definitely know some secret
If you are united not only by children, home and everyday life, then this is definitely the place for you. By the way, you can check this using the same statuses about husband and wife with meaning.
- Don't betray each other. Then families will be strong!
- Yes, our relationship is not calm. I would even say fiery...
- I'm not perfect and he's not perfect. This means that we are obliged to live together.
- A loved one is the person for whom you want to become better. But, on the other hand, nothing will happen if you interrupt this desire :).
- My husband will not leave me, if only because he cannot take a single step without me :*.
- There is no need to look for flaws in your loved ones, and also, under no circumstances should you allow them to do this!
- And I don’t contradict my wife. Yes, she does it herself. Several times a day.
- Only someone who can at least fix a faucet can demand an ideal housewife :).
- Our quarrels end exactly when I need to unscrew the lid :D.
- Divorce is not when “it didn’t work out” or “the characters didn’t get along.” Blame it all on a broken record.
- When you change in the right direction, your spouse will either change with you or begin to slowly disappear from your life...
- We think about what will happen tomorrow, but we don’t worry about it until we lose consciousness. This is why our family is thriving!
- You can be super beautiful, super smart, and still tolerate an incomprehensible husband. It's all about self-esteem, of course.
- Before a woman gets married, she has no idea that some problems exist. It’s the husband who should help with their decision :D.
- I didn’t get the best husband, I’ll say right away. But I managed to make the best of what I had!
- A man is always at a loss for words when he falls in love with a woman. And when he gets married, he is no longer allowed to insert a single one.
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An ideal wife through the eyes of a man
As you know, more than half of marriages break up within the first few years of marriage. Why is this happening? No matter who you ask, everyone knows the answer to this burning question. The only pity is that these answers are almost always different. Husbands blame their wives, wives blame their husbands, psychotherapists blame both.
Or maybe, in fact, no one is to blame? Maybe the problems stem from the fact that very often we marry not a real person, but the one we imagine him to be - we marry an image, a certain ideal, which in real life turns out to be only a pale reflection of what we dreamed of .
The first months after the wedding everything is great, but when this slight intoxication with happiness passes, reality makes itself felt more and more clearly: it turns out that you did not marry the person who just recently brought you flowers every day... That’s when problems arise. You can rest assured that your husband almost certainly feels the same way as you. After all, his ideas about you also did not quite coincide with reality... Are you interested in knowing how he imagined you? What if you try to find out this and try to bring this ideal to life? Maybe it's worth a try? Especially if this ideal turns out to be close to you...
There is nothing wrong with this experiment. As you know, our life is a game. It's a rare woman who doesn't have acting chops; it's in our blood. So why bury natural talent in the ground? Maybe try to use it for peaceful purposes?
So, what do husbands want their wives to be? Statistical surveys are mixed. Men with persistent inconsistency demonstrate a variety of answers, once again proving that there are no identical people in the world and everyone has their own “preferences.” And although we agree with this, it is nevertheless possible to introduce some order into the resulting confusion.
It is quite possible to identify several types of women, the images of which, like no other, excite the heart and mind of a man. Choose the type that you think your husband wants to see in you, and go ahead! Amazing discoveries await you.
You love your husband. Is it possible for you to become for him exactly what he wants you to be? Certainly. Just become for him...
...The keeper of the gas stove.
If you believe the statistics, this is exactly what, if not most men, then at least a significant part of them want to see their wife. Men's thinking is more conservative than women's, so such ideas about wives have not undergone significant changes in the minds of husbands over many decades and even centuries.
How to do it.
In your husband’s mind, this may mean the following: when he comes home, he always has a delicious lunch or dinner, and a caring wife feeds him and takes care of the house and children, without distracting him from subsequent important matters - reading the newspaper and watching a football match on TV. In short, the classic “Kirche, Kinder, Kuchen” - church, children and kitchen...
Well, children are children. In the end, we should not forget that raising offspring is an evolutionarily “assigned” function to women. Give your husband the opportunity to experience this important moment for your family.
What will happen?
If this sweet picture painted before your spouse’s mind’s eye is close to your heart, that’s great. This means that the ideal of your man’s wife coincides with your own ideal. But when working on it, don’t overdo it. Otherwise, the husband may start approaching this same gas stove just to heat... excuse me, warm his hands. For all the other joys of life, he will turn to other addresses...
Use your imagination as much as possible. The main thing is to never stop there. Let something special always await your beloved at home... Will you cook cabbage rolls or dumplings today? It is advisable that this special be something more intriguing.
Is it worth it? Are you sure that cute, everyday household chores are for you? All women are different, and the label that society puts on us in the person of men may not at all correspond to your ideas about yourself. And if this is so, such “pretense” will not benefit either your health or your relationship with your husband.
...As a mistress.
Boredom and monotony are known to be the worst enemy of marital relationships. According to statistics, it is thanks to boredom that most men walk to the left. Why don't you make your husband walk to the left... towards you?
How to do it.
Imagine that now it’s not your husband who comes home from work, but your lover. What then? You will prepare an exquisite dinner, not forgetting about aphrodisiacs, wear the most exquisite lace lingerie, and create a charming atmosphere of mystery in your apartment, emphasizing your attractiveness. When he comes, a sincere smile of joy will appear on your face, and playful lights in your eyes will flash every minute when you look at him. You won’t ask him why he didn’t bring you anything again - let stupid wives do that. Your conversations will only be about the two of you...
Of course, your husband will be surprised, because he considers you his wife. But you are determined to do what you have in mind... Therefore, then you will allow him what he wants: who knows, maybe you will like it too?..
What will happen?
You should never refuse to experiment, even in the most unusual way. The results may be the most unexpected, both for you and for him. But you can be sure that after several years of marriage you will see each other in a new way.
Is it worth it? Costs. Try it at least once, and then perhaps you will like it yourself. It certainly won't be boring.
...Big Mommy
Every most wonderful man has his own shortcomings. One is a pathological womanizer who cannot imagine his life without constant cheating. Another, in his personal rating, puts you in an honorable second place after football (this is at best)... And the third, at thirty or forty years old, has never learned to truly be independent. And, besides, he is not psychologically mature for equal marital relations. Even if he has learned to provide for himself financially, he may have problems in terms of psychological maturity.
If these words fully apply to your husband, then it is likely that his mother was mainly involved in his upbringing, while his father was either completely absent from the horizon, or did little with his son and therefore was unable to convey to him that stereotype of relationships with women, which boys learn primarily from their fathers. In general, for some reason this did not happen, and the mother, as a woman, simply could not teach her son purely masculine qualities, such as, for example, independence. Therefore, such a man can only exist tolerably in a “connection” with someone, and in his future life he will look for a wife who has taken over the functions of his mother. And, as a rule, he finds it. This is a woman with a strongly expressed maternal instinct, when she spends most of her psychological energy on her husband. How this all happens is anyone's guess, but if you feel like your spouse is gravitating toward this type of relationship, there might be something you can try...
How to do it.
Dear, did you forget your folder with documents? Did you take what I prepared for lunch? Did I tell you that Sergei from the marketing department called you yesterday and invited you to his dacha? Are you sure I don't need to go too? No? Well, whatever you say... It seems that someone else called you. When I remember, I’ll call you at work...
What will happen?
Trust that you have chosen the right behavior style. Because if you made a mistake, or over time your husband “outgrew” his mommy and he no longer needs her...
Is it worth it? How long can you play this role? A woman who, for some reason, cannot express her maternal instinct on her children, unleashes it on her husband. Are you capable of this? And is it worth it to do this?
...Admired.
There are men who lack self-confidence and suffer from their own low self-esteem. They constantly, consciously or not, compare themselves with other men, and very often these comparisons are not in their favor. And therefore, men of this type are looking for a woman for whom her husband is a god, and who will never question his merits and will only emphasize them, and will perceive all the shortcomings of her husband as nothing other than extensions of his merits. Such a woman will not even stutter about shortcomings. About any...
How to do it.
And how did you not notice before what a treasure your husband really is? He is so hard-working and caring, he gives you flowers on March 8th every year! And how he loves his daughter: when they play together, her cheerful laughter does not stop for a minute. And if someone says something bad about him, then it is, understandably, out of envy: few people in this life manage to marry such a nugget...
There is no need to invent anything: just sing about what you see. And if you have enough patience, it will gradually become a habit. Show with all your appearance how proud you are of your husband and how wonderful he is. But do not under any circumstances overdo it with praise: very often men of this type subtly sense the slightest flattery, and if your husband catches you in forgery, trouble will inevitably follow.
What will happen?
Did you really marry a complete nonentity? Hardly. As you praise him, you will be surprised to find that much of what you started singing his praises for is quite close to the truth. And if your spouse is still far from perfect in communicating with a child or in expressing his love for you, praise him for this ten times more: the results, rest assured, will not take long to arrive.
Is it worth it? There are people who are activated by praise: they work on themselves, try to get rid of shortcomings. That is, you praise them, and they improve before your eyes. Others, on the contrary, can be forced to work only by driving them into stress. In other words, negative stimulation works better on them, for example, ultimatums like “If you don’t learn..., then I will...” And if your husband, from endless praises and compliments, begins to “rest on his laurels” and becomes even worse over time, then know: he belongs precisely to the second group. Therefore, have mercy on your nerves and stop spoiling him. A little bit of good stuff.
