remarriage to ex-husband

Do you want to experience the same thing a second time? What if he doesn't change? What if he betrays you again, will he cheat, or will he leave again? There is no definite answer to all these questions; the reason for divorce can be different. If your ex-husband previously did not pay attention to your feelings, then most likely he will not do so in the future. The same situation occurs with betrayal, assault, or deception on the part of a former partner.

So, do husbands come back after divorce? And here's a consoling answer: yes, they are coming back. Moreover, both in the case when he was the initiator of the divorce, and in the case when you were the initiator. The only thing is that the tactics in these two cases should be different, but we will talk about this below. Now let’s find out how great your chances of returning are.

In fact, it is quite difficult to provide statistical data, since each situation is individual, but still, 30% of 100% end in a favorable outcome.

Can a husband return after a divorce?

On the one hand, the repentance is sincere, on the other, if the situation repeats, the man may get the impression that no matter what he does, he will still be accepted back.
The sensitive female body, no matter how brilliant the actor the man is, will in any case detect falsehood. We must act accordingly. But there are many cases when, as some wise men like to say, there really is an eclipse, and then actions are dictated by passion (no matter how “soapy” it may sound).

Why do ex-husbands come back?

Although psychologists find another explanation for this trend: it is believed that in our time people are increasingly making hasty decisions, succumbing to a momentary impulse, and often they begin to realize the value of relationships with their soul mate when they have lost it. As they say, what we have, we don’t keep; when we lose, we cry. And stars are no exception, however, unlike mere mortals, their family problems immediately become public knowledge, which is of little conduciveness to family reunification and quiet separation.

Why do men leave and come back?

Men are lazy by nature, and it is very difficult for them to decide to take such a step.
They think for a long time, weigh, and only then can they decide to take serious action. Therefore, if a man left, it means that he had serious reasons for this. The concept of “return marriage” can be attributed to repeated marriages, with the only difference that the union is concluded again not with a new person, but with a former partner. That is, there is a restoration of a once broken family.

What are the pros and cons of returnable marriage?

Is it possible to enter “the same river” twice without completely destroying the relationship? And how to protect relationships from old mistakes?

remarriage to ex-husband

Deprivation of parental rights is a procedure that involves the implementation of legally significant actions to deprive one of the child’s parents of the rights provided for by the Family Code of the Russian Federation through the courts.

Cases of deprivation of parental rights are considered upon the application of one of the parents or persons replacing them, the application of the prosecutor, as well as statements of bodies or organizations charged with protecting the rights of minor children (guardianship and trusteeship authorities, commissions for minors, children's organizations - orphans and children left without parental care).

Deprivation of parental rights is classified as a complex matter, because this is always a last resort.

The issue of deprivation of parental rights for non-payment of alimony is often raised in families where the father, who is obliged to pay the costs of maintaining the child, evades fulfilling this obligation.

First, let's figure it out, it is likely that it will be enough for you to simply pay alimony, as well as pay off the debt on it.

General principle

- in the absence of an agreement on the payment of alimony, alimony for minor children is collected by the court from their parents monthly in the amount of: for one child - one quarter of the parents’ earnings or other income, for two children - one third, for three or more children - half. The size of these shares may be reduced or increased by the court, taking into account the financial or family situation of the party and other noteworthy circumstances (Article 81 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation).

According to the Decree of the Government of the Russian Federation dated July 18, 1996 No. 841 “On the list of types of wages and other income from which alimony for minor children is withheld,” the income from which deduction can be made is determined:

- from wages accrued at tariff rates, salaries for hours worked, for work performed at piece rates, as a percentage of proceeds from the sale of products (performance of work, provision of services), issued in non-cash form, or from commissions, from wages fees accrued to teachers of primary and secondary vocational education institutions for hours of teaching work in excess of the established and (or) reduced annual teaching load;

- from salary (remuneration) and other payments accrued for time worked to persons holding government positions in the Russian Federation, government positions in constituent entities of the Russian Federation, positions in the federal state civil service, etc.;

- from salary and other payments accrued to municipal employees for time worked;

- from fees accrued to employees of media editorial offices and art organizations;

- from allowances and additional payments to tariff rates, salaries for professional skill, class, length of service, academic degree, academic title, work with information constituting state secrets and others;

- from payments related to working conditions, including payments due to regional regulation of wages, increased wages for hard work, work with harmful and (or) dangerous working conditions, as well as payments for work at night and on weekends and non-working holidays, with overtime pay;

- from the amounts of remuneration to teaching staff of state and municipal educational institutions for performing the functions of a class teacher;

- from cash payments to medical staff of paramedic and obstetric stations, doctors, paramedics and nurses of emergency medical care stations (departments), as well as local therapists, local pediatricians, general practitioners (family doctors) and others;

- with bonuses and remunerations provided for by the remuneration system;

- from the amount of average earnings retained by the employee in all cases provided for by law, including during vacation;

- from the amount of additional remuneration to employees, with the exception of employees receiving for non-working days on which they were not involved in work.

In addition, alimony is withheld:

- from all types of pensions, taking into account monthly increases, allowances, raises and additional payments to them established for certain categories of pensioners, with the exception of pensions in the event of the loss of a breadwinner, paid from the federal budget, and payments to them from the budgets of the constituent entities of the Russian Federation;

- from scholarships paid to students in educational institutions;

- benefits for temporary disability, unemployment only by a court decision and a court order for the collection of alimony or a notarized agreement on the payment of alimony;

- from amounts paid for the period of employment to those dismissed in connection with the liquidation of the organization, the implementation of measures to reduce the number and staff;

— from income from entrepreneurial activities without forming a legal entity;

— from income from the lease of property;

— from income from shares and other income from participation in the management of the organization’s property

- from amounts of financial assistance;

- from amounts paid in compensation for harm caused to health;

— from compensation payments from the federal budget, budgets of constituent entities of the Russian Federation and local budgets to citizens affected by disasters;

- from income received under contracts concluded in accordance with civil law, as well as from the sale of copyrights, income received for the performance of work and provision of services provided for by the legislation of the Russian Federation;

- from an amount equal to the cost of the food provided, with the exception of therapeutic and prophylactic nutrition, as well as other payments made by the employer in accordance with labor legislation, with the exception of amounts paid in connection with the birth of a child, with the death of relatives, with the registration of marriage, as well as compensation payments in connection with a business trip, transfer, admission or assignment to work in another area.

Also, alimony is withheld from monetary allowances received by military personnel, employees of internal affairs bodies and other categories of persons equivalent to them, including:

- from military personnel - from salary according to military position, salary according to military rank, monthly and other allowances and other additional payments of monetary allowance that are of a permanent nature;

- from employees of internal affairs bodies, the State Fire Service, authorities for the control of drugs and psychotropic substances, as well as customs service employees - from a salary for a regular position, a salary for a special rank, percentage bonuses (additional payments) for length of service, an academic degree and academic title and other monetary payments of a permanent nature;

- from military personnel and employees of internal affairs bodies, the State Fire Service - from one-time and monthly benefits and other payments upon dismissal from military service, from service in the internal affairs bodies, the State Fire Service.

Collection of alimony from wages and other income due to the person paying alimony is carried out after deduction of taxes from this wage and other income in accordance with tax legislation.

From those sentenced to correctional labor, alimony is collected according to writs of execution from all earnings minus deductions made by verdict or court order. From convicts serving sentences in correctional colonies, sedentary colonies, prisons, educational colonies, as well as persons in drug treatment departments of psychiatric dispensaries and inpatient medical institutions, alimony is collected from all earnings and other income minus deductions for reimbursement of expenses for their maintenance in the above institutions.

If there is no income, what is a fixed amount of money?

In the absence of an agreement between the parents on the payment of alimony for minor children and in cases where the parent obligated to pay alimony has an irregular income, the court has the right to determine the amount of alimony to be collected monthly, in a fixed sum of money or simultaneously in shares (in accordance with Article 81 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation). Federation) and in a fixed amount of money.

The amount of a fixed sum of money is determined by the court based on the maximum possible preservation of the child’s previous level of support, taking into account the financial and marital status of the parties and other noteworthy circumstances. If each of their parents has children, the amount of alimony from one of the parents in favor of the other, less wealthy one, is determined in a fixed amount of money, collected monthly and determined by the court.

Of course, collecting alimony in a fixed amount is an alternative option. Its size is determined by the court, taking into account the preservation of the child’s previous level of support. This is directly indicated by the Plenum of the Supreme Court of the Russian Federation in the resolution of October 25, 1996 No. 9, paragraph 12 “When collecting alimony in a fixed amount of money, the courts must take into account that the amount of alimony collected from parents for minor children (Article 83 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation) as well as from former adoptive parents when the adoption is canceled (clause 4 of Article 143 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation), should be determined based on the maximum possible preservation of the child’s previous level of support, taking into account the financial and marital status of the parties and other noteworthy circumstances.

When determining the financial situation of the parties in cases of this category, the court takes into account all sources of income.

In the above cases, the amount of alimony is established in an amount corresponding to a certain number of minimum wages, and is subject to indexation in proportion to the increase in the minimum wage established by law.

It is important that, in contrast to the possibility of collecting funds to pay alimony as a share of earnings by filing an application for a court order, alimony in a fixed sum of money is collected exclusively through litigation.

The Supreme Court of the Russian Federation noted that in accordance with paragraph five of Article 122 of the Code of Civil Procedure of the Russian Federation, a judge has the right to issue a court order if a demand is made for the collection of alimony for minor children, not related to establishing paternity, challenging paternity, or the need to involve other interested parties. On the basis of a court order, alimony for minor children cannot be collected in a fixed amount of money, since resolving this issue involves the need to verify the presence or absence of circumstances with which the law connects the possibility of such collection (clauses 1 and 3 of Article 83 of the RF IC, p. 4 Article 143 of the RF IC).

A completely different problem is the question of the actual payment of alimony, if its amount is determined in shares, but the father actually hides his income.

The executive documents for the collection of alimony are:

— writs of execution issued on the basis of judicial acts;

- court orders;

— notarized agreements on the payment of alimony.

It should be remembered that the collection of alimony for the past period on the basis of an agreement on the payment of alimony or on the basis of a writ of execution and a court order is carried out within a three-year period preceding the presentation of the writ of execution for collection

If he doesn’t pay child support, what should he do?

1. If you know the place of work of your ex-spouse or know that he receives a pension, then you can save a lot of time by sending a writ of execution directly to his work or to the local branch of the Russian Pension Fund. Thus, you will avoid delays in the bailiff department. However, if the ex-husband does not work, you cannot do without the help of bailiffs.

2. Send a petition to the bailiff to declare a ban on the debtor from traveling outside the Russian Federation. The essence of this action is that the bailiff issues a decree banning the debtor from leaving and sends this decree to the FMS. Please note that this ban is only valid for six months. This means that after six months you should re-submit a similar petition to the bailiff, unless he himself makes such a decision again.

3. The most effective way to deal with alimony defaulter is to seize his property

(in the presence of).
The essence of the procedure
: the bailiff describes everything that he finds that belongs to the debtor and puts it up for auction. The proceeds from the sale go towards paying off the debt.

Property criteria:

Not only real estate, cars, etc. play a role here; a more common practice is to seize household appliances at the place of residence, and at the same time all the cash that will be found at that moment with the debtor.

To put this procedure into effect, you must find out what property the defaulter has, as well as where it is located. After which it is necessary to prepare a petition to the bailiff demanding that this property be seized. In this case, you have the right to be present at the inventory as an interested party.

4. If your ex-spouse maliciously evades alimony, you can contact the bailiff with a statement to initiate a criminal case under Article 157 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. The only punishment for this crime is a maximum of imprisonment of up to a year. Many defaulters, after a criminal case is initiated against them, immediately find money to pay off their debts.

Deprivation of paternity for non-payment of child support.

Malicious evasion of alimony payments

- this is a systematic and persistent deliberate failure to fulfill one’s obligations to support a child within the framework of alimony legal relations. The actions of the defaulter in this case are as follows: concealment of the place of residence, concealment of the place of work, detour in an unknown direction. That is, there must be a long-term and without good reason refusal to provide financial assistance in supporting the child and behavior that indicates an unwillingness to do this.

If the father's rights are deprived, the mother has the right:

— travel abroad with the child without the father’s permission;

- change the child’s first name, last name and even patronymic without the consent of the second biological parent;

- prohibit the father from meeting the child, as well as from taking part in his education and upbringing;

- allow the other spouse (stepfather) to adopt a child without obtaining consent from the biological father;

In addition, the child in such a situation is freed from the obligation to support his father in old age and pay him alimony.

The father also loses his legal rights in relation to the child:

- protect his interests;

- reclaim it from other persons;

- give consent to transactions performed by a child aged 14-18 years;

- petition for the restriction or deprivation of a child 14-18 years old of the right to independently dispose of their income;

- give consent to the emancipation of a child under 16 years of age;

— receive pension benefits in connection with the death of a child (breadwinner)

- inherit a child by law.

Necessary documents for deprivation of paternity.

In order to achieve deprivation of the father’s parental rights for non-payment of alimony, the child’s mother must collect a package of documents in order to go to court:

— child’s birth certificate;

— marriage/divorce certificate.

- certificates from the educational institution that the child attends, stating that its employees did not observe how the child support defaulter is engaged in the child (taking him to the institution or picking him up, being present at meetings, etc.);

- testimony of several witnesses that the payer does not take part in the child’s life;

— a certificate of the amount of alimony payments and the period of debt.

A statement of claim for deprivation of a father's parental rights can be filed at his place of residence, as well as at his last known place of residence, if his current place of residence is unknown to the plaintiff. At the same time, according to the Tax Code of the Russian Federation (clause 15, paragraph 1, Article 333), the applicant to the court is not obliged to pay a state fee, since the case is being considered to protect the rights, as well as the legitimate interests of a minor child.

Of course, during the legal proceedings the claim may be denied, but the defendant must be warned that deprivation of parental rights may be carried out in the future, but during the court hearing a decision may be made on the need to deprive the defendant of parental rights.

A more predictable result in a claim for deprivation of parental rights is obtained when sending an application on behalf of the guardianship and trusteeship authorities, the prosecutor and organizations protecting the rights and interests of a minor child.

If the procedure for deprivation of parental rights was carried out with a decision on deprivation, then Article 71 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation comes into force, according to which a parent deprived of parental rights in relation to a child loses all rights that are based on family relations with this child. Deprivation of parental rights does not give the parent the right to collect child support in the future in old age. In this case, the parent loses the rights to state benefits and benefits that are established for citizens with children.

Deprivation of parental rights does not mean that a parent is no longer financially obligated to support his child.

The child or children in respect of whom the parents have been deprived of parental rights retain the right of ownership of the living space and the right to use it. The child retains his property rights, which are based on the fact of kinship with his parents and other relatives. The child retains the right to receive the inheritance.

And remember that depriving a child of his parents is always harmful to mental health. Therefore, parental rights are deprived only in exceptional cases provided for by the Family Code of the Russian Federation.

How to make the right decision - whether to marry your ex-husband?

As a rule, the thought “Maybe try again?” occurs only if the breakup with the husband was not accompanied by serious hostility

, division of property and other “joys” of divorce. The new gentlemen do not inspire confidence, relationships stubbornly do not work out with anyone, the children do not want to share their mother with an unknown uncle, and even that “good old husband”, it seems, was nothing like that. Why not, in fact, try it?

Such thoughts arise in half of divorced women who have maintained more or less normal relationships with their husbands. So is it still worth stepping on the already familiar “rake”?

Or is it better to walk around them a kilometer away, or even put them in a barn, out of sight?

What to rely on when making a decision?

First of all, based on your desire...

• Force of habit?
  Having lived with her husband for 2-3 years (not to mention a long life together), a woman gets used to a certain way of life, to common habits with her husband, to his manner of communication, etc. The force of habit pushes many into the “time-tested” embrace, often - despite the frayed wings.
• If the formulation of the reason for the divorce sounded traditional - “they didn’t get along”
  - then why did you decide that now your characters would definitely get along? If you are categorically different people, and you are not able to share your troubles and joys, then you are unlikely to be able to do this again. If you, a pathological fan of cleanliness, were shivering from scattered socks, crumbs in bed and pasta caps on the sink, then will you be strong enough not to notice these “terrible sins” of your husband in a remarriage?
• If you realize that your spouse is an incorrigible Don Juan
  , and with all the universal love for you, he will continue the list of love victories until old age deprives him of his irresistibility, then think about whether you can walk this path with him? And remain a wise wife, turning a blind eye to her husband’s “petty affairs.” Can you do it if you couldn’t do it the first time?
• “ I realized that there is no one better in the whole world than you!
  I can not live without you. Forgive and accept your prodigal husband,” he says, falling to his knees in front of your door with a bouquet of roses and another ring in a beautiful box. As life shows, half of such return marriages actually give rise to new strong relationships. Especially if your relationship was built on deep feelings and was destroyed by the intervention of a third party (another woman, his mother, etc.).

So what should we do?

To begin with, shake off the romantic flair and turn on the “sober look at the situation” mode

.

It is clear that he with a bouquet and with longing in his eyes is very cute. And his desire to return you is so flattering. And he himself smells so familiar that you can jump into his arms right now. I even want to pour him tea, feed him borscht and, if he behaves well, leave him overnight. And then the children came running - standing, rejoicing, they say, “the folder is back”...

But will it be possible to forget everything?

Forgive everything? Build relationships again without repeating past mistakes? Is love even alive? Or are you drawn simply out of habit? Or because living as a single mother is very difficult? Or because you’re just tired without a man in the house?

If your heart jumps out of your chest and you feel the same emotions in response from your husband, then of course, there’s nothing to even think about. And if you are struggling with a feeling of resentment with memories of his betrayal, then does there make sense in the prospect of a new divorce?

I'm marrying my ex-husband - how to build happiness in a new way and avoid old mistakes?

The strength of a remarriage will depend on the sincerity of everyone, on a clear understanding of the problems and on the strength of the desire to be together in spite of everything. To avoid mistakes and build truly strong relationships, you should remember the main things:

• The first and key is the motive of reunion. Understand yourself and the reasons that are truly decisive for you when making a decision. Lonely at night, not enough money, no one to fix the faucet and nail down the shelves - these are the reasons that will form the basis of another path to nowhere.
• Remember, you only have one chance - to start life again . If you are ready to forget and forgive everything, if you are ready to build relationships taking into account mistakes - go for it. If in doubt, don’t dive headfirst into the pool, first understand yourself.
• Start everything from scratch , crossing out all grievances and immediately clarifying all controversial issues among yourself.
• Before you remarry, give each other some sweet time. Already in it a lot will become clearer for you.
• If during the “candy” period you feel that your spouse is returning to what caused the divorce, consider this a signal to end the relationship.
• When making a decision, remember that it will be doubly difficult for your children to survive your second divorce . If you are not confident in the reliability and stability of a relationship, do not start one and do not give your children empty hope. Let divorce become a one-time action, and not a “swing” on which your children will finally lose faith in you and family unity, as well as their psychological balance.
• Do you want grievances and problems to remain in the past? Both work on yourself. Forget about mutual reproaches, don’t remind each other of the past, don’t rub salt on old wounds - build a new life, brick by brick, on mutual trust, respect and love.

The pros and cons of return marriage

Advantages of returnable marriage:

• You know each other well, all the habits, disadvantages and advantages, needs, etc.
• You are able to realistically assess the prospects of your relationship, weighing each step and understanding what will follow.
• You are able to find an approach to each other.
• Your children will be happy about their parents' reunion.
• The effect of “newness” in a relationship refreshes your life together in every sense - you start everything with a blank sheet of paper.
• The candy-bouquet period and the wedding give deeper emotions, and the choice itself is more meaningful and sober.
• You don't need to get to know each other's relatives - you already know them all.
• Understanding the problems that led to the breakdown of the first marriage will help in strengthening the second union - it is easier to avoid mistakes if you “know the enemy by sight.”

Disadvantages of returnable defects:

• If a lot of time has passed since the breakup, your partner may have had time to change significantly. You don’t know how and what he lived with all this time. And it is quite possible that the person he has become will push you away even faster than in your first marriage.
• A woman, under certain circumstances, tends to idealize her partner. If she is lonely and hard, the children are driving her crazy with disobedience, at night she wants to cry into her pillow from hopelessness, and then he appears, practically dear, with a fiery look and the promise of “together again and already to the grave,” then sobriety of thoughts dissolves in relieved exhale, “finally everything will settle down.” The idealized partner, after a week or a month, suddenly forgets about his promises, and the “second circle of hell” begins. The lack of a sober and cool look at the situation when making a decision is fraught with at least new disappointment.
• The emotional wounds received during the first divorce do not go away without a trace. Will you be able to step over them and live without even mentally remembering the pain that was caused to you? If not, then this problem will always stand between you.
• Remarriage will not solve your past problems on its own. You will have to work very hard to correct past mistakes and, of course, prevent new ones.
• If you broke up because of his mother (or another relative), remember - his mother did not disappear anywhere. She still can't stand you, and your husband is still her adored son.
• His always scattered socks, for which you scolded him every evening, will not start jumping into the washing machine on their own - you will have to come to terms with his habits and accept him entirely with all the pros and cons. It is useless to re-educate an adult man even in his first marriage. And even more so if you do it again.
• If he was a cheapskate and liked to have a drink or two at dinner, don't expect him to become a generous teetotaler.
• During the time that passed after the divorce, you both got used to living by your own rules - solving problems on your own, making decisions, etc. He got used to walking around the apartment in the morning in his family shorts and smoking on an empty stomach, you got used to relaxing with your girlfriends in the evenings and not asking anyone no one has permission for anything. That is, you will have to either change your habits or adapt to each other, taking into account all the nuances.
• It will be difficult to get used to each other again, given the big old “suitcase” of grievances and claims on each side.

Advantages of returnable marriage:

• You know each other well, all the habits, disadvantages and advantages, needs, etc.
• You are able to realistically assess the prospects of your relationship, weighing each step and understanding what will follow.
• You are able to find an approach to each other.
• Your children will be happy about their parents' reunion.
• The effect of “newness” in a relationship refreshes your life together in every sense - you start everything with a blank sheet of paper.
• The candy-bouquet period and the wedding give deeper emotions, and the choice itself is more meaningful and sober.
• You don't need to get to know each other's relatives - you already know them all.
• Understanding the problems that led to the breakdown of the first marriage will help in strengthening the second union - it is easier to avoid mistakes if you “know the enemy by sight.”