Holiday romance: is it worth continuing the relationship?


Italians

These heartthrobs in women primarily pay attention to physical attractiveness and thriftiness. In exchange, they are ready to offer a sleek appearance and financial stability. If you agree to have sex with an Italian on the first date, then there is a high probability that he will not call again. They don't like approachable women.

You don’t need to start dating these men first, they don’t like it. If an Italian is interested in a girl, he will definitely approach her himself. They really appreciate flirtatious and defenseless women.

Holiday romance... with my husband!

What's the secret?

The phenomenon of a good holiday romance is that it is, in essence, a beautiful story of one moment - without a foreword, plot development or a happy ending. The heroes of this story exist outside the roles and rules of everyday life, do not plan the future, do not think about what will happen to them next, do not quarrel over trifles, do not manipulate each other and do not try to change their partner - they simply have nothing to share. As a rule, a holiday romance has no continuation (although there are exceptions, of course!), but its participants have no thoughts about problems, everyday life, money, there is no need to think about responsibility or agree on who washes the dishes after dinner. This relationship is pure, concentrated romance: you don’t even need to get to know each other better, it’s enough that you can simply admire each other, forgetting about your other, non-vacation life. But this is precisely why holiday romances rarely develop into real, deep relationships - the holiday ends, and in other settings the hero looks completely different. What will happen if we abandon the disadvantages of a holiday romance, but transfer all its advantages to the plane of family life? It will be a great vacation for two!

Six steps to romance

Talk

American psychologist Paula Bloom is confident that communication and conversations “for two” are not just an exchange of information, but a prerequisite for a happy marriage (and sometimes a cure in times of crisis). “Research shows that relationships begin to move toward divorce when the ratio of positive interactions (kind conversations, laughter) to negative interactions (quarrels and conflicts) reaches 1 to 5. Change this unhealthy balance!” - the psychologist calls. At the same time, for productive communication the following conditions are needed: a calm environment and the absence of distractions, patience and enough time. Prove to your husband that you still care what his mood is, what he thinks about, what he dreams about, what he fears. Take time to just listen to him. And don’t just listen, but ask questions, find out the details - and you will be surprised how much you didn’t hear in the last weeks, months and years of marriage, while you were discussing what wallpaper to choose, how much a tutor costs and why all the teachers are complaining about the child.

Victor:

“Anya and I suddenly went to a holiday home for the weekend. I thought we’d just relax and get some sleep, but in the end we talked so much! They were discussing something and laughing. It was great - it seemed to me that we were getting to know each other again, I again saw in my wife the girl I fell in love with 15 years ago.”

OUR ADVICE:

While on vacation, declare a moratorium on everyday topics of conversation: household matters, money, relationships with children and relatives, problems at work, etc. Anyone who breaks the rule will pay a fine - for example, give their partner an hour-long massage or perform a song of his choice. Of course, it is worth introducing a ban on the use of gadgets - at least while walking, in restaurants and before bed. And you don’t need to turn on the TV in the room either.

Relax

There's no denying that preparing for a family vacation can be an incredibly nerve-wracking experience. After all, you first have to choose a country for a trip, then agree among yourself on the format of your vacation - active or beach, excursions or “free swimming”, “all inclusive” or half board? Pack your things and don’t forget your passports, don’t be late for the airport, don’t get sunburned on the first day, don’t become a victim of fraud, see all the sights... Stop! After such a vacation, you will have to rest again, and there is no time for romance.

Sergey:

“What I love most is when my wife feels relaxed - she immediately becomes so beautiful, her forehead does not wrinkle, she looks tenderly. I don’t always know what to do for this, but I try to take responsibility for myself more often. And I don’t like it when, for example, she demands that I run to the beach at seven in the morning, because the sun is safe, and I want to lie in bed for half the day, cuddle on the balcony, have sex in the bathtub, and then take a walk - just like that, without a purpose "

OUR ADVICE:

Give up careful planning in favor of spontaneity - after all, holiday romances also do not develop according to schedule. And, by the way, when choosing a hotel, book a room for newlyweds - this will put you in the right mood. Maybe there will be a king-size bed, or a Jacuzzi separated by a glass wall from the bedroom, or a mirrored ceiling. And a bottle of champagne as a gift!

No criticism

It is difficult to imagine that during a holiday romance, its participants, having barely met, would make comments to each other about behavior, character, habits, stains on trousers, or would claim that “Vanya is a loser and a slob, because he takes after his father and his relatives.” . For freshly baked lovers, all this is simply not important - only the fireworks of feelings that arose between them are important. Meanwhile, spouses with a long history of family life are very easy to recognize: they are usually very critical of each other and do not try to refrain from making comments of varying degrees of harshness. But the desire for intimacy will be very difficult to arise against the background of dissatisfaction, irritation and criticism.

Yuri:

“Before our vacation, my wife and I jokingly decided that we would respond to all each other’s proposals with the words “Yes, dear” and “Yes, dear” - just to nip the inevitable petty quarrels in the bud and not spoil the pleasure of our vacation. At first it just seemed funny, and then, oddly enough, we both got involved. That is, we didn’t always say exactly these phrases, but over the week we really got used to being more careful and attentive to each other’s words - and to each other in general.”

OUR ADVICE:

Before the trip, it is better to agree in advance that you will leave dissatisfaction with each other at home.
Yes, sometimes it can be hard to restrain yourself, but in this case you can simply pause before answering or instead of the usual “no!” say: “Yes, but...” Yes, dear? Three more tips

Be open to new things

It is new impressions that give our brain “food” for development: constantly processing the same information from the “home, work, home” series, so practical, safe and reasonable, we do not give it such a chance. Vacation is a great time to try something new, because temporary freedom from responsibility helps us relax and remember what we like. This can be not only entertainment, but also sports, unusual food and even an unusual style of clothing. This doesn't mean you have to go jet skiing if you don't feel like it or dine on nothing but oysters: it's the openness to new experiences, new people, and new ways of connecting with our loved ones that makes us ultimately more alive. By the way, sometimes we refuse to try something new under the pretext “I’ll do it next time.” Wrong approach! There may not be a next time - or by the next time you will simply forget about it.

Artem:

“My wife has always been afraid of heights, high speed and potentially dangerous entertainment. But last summer I first persuaded her to paraglide over the sea - she squealed, but landed happy - and then to go on a jeep safari. True, a camel bit me there, Marina laughed for a long time, but then, at night, she was incredibly tender and passionate - after all, I went through such stress. Although, maybe it’s all about the adrenaline after the paraglider?”

OUR ADVICE:

Take your new hobbies with you and you will always remember the most romantic vacation. Did you take a couple of tango or golf lessons at the hotel? Find a dance or golf club in your hometown and improve your skills together with your husband.

"Vacation" sex

Participants in a holiday romance talk about sex without hesitation - and act too. And it’s not surprising, because they simply don’t have time to wait for their partner to guess about their secret desires himself. Take note of this: on vacation, as if by magic, we become more relaxed and open, free from routine (including our bed habits) - this is your reason to slightly change your usual scenario. But “vacation sex” also has a trap: don’t plan it too carefully, turn it into an obligation, or overload it with super-romantic attributes like rose petals on the bed. A holiday romance is sudden, fleeting and lots and lots of sensuality!

Dmitriy:

“For the first time in eight years of marriage, my wife and I went on vacation without children. We got serious: my wife gathered some beautiful linen, scented candles, something else, and decided that we would spend the evenings usefully - after all, that’s what we’re going for! But it turned out differently - I either want to sleep, or read before bed, or the series is interesting. And such a feeling of awkwardness - it seemed like we agreed that there would be continuous unbridled sex, but it seems like we don’t really want to... As a result, we had the best sex in the morning, without any preliminary agreements and lace outfits.”

OUR ADVICE:

Invite a friend of a friend on dates.
By agreeing on a romantic evening in advance, you have the opportunity to focus only on each other, you are simultaneously more vulnerable, attractive and open to love and physical intimacy. And don't forget about spontaneous sex! How to behave after vacation

After vacation

The end of the holiday romance means the return of the heroes to their normal lives. But, fortunately, our holiday romance is hypothetical, and you will see its hero every day after the holiday. On vacation you were free from rules and conventions, obligations and household chores, and returning home for many becomes a real stress. The recipe for a smooth return is to remember what makes you happy, gives you the opportunity to be yourself and share it with those you love.

Paul:

“We returned from an amazing romantic trip, and Vika again began to sleep in my old T-shirt and does not show affection in public. I understand that vacations cannot last forever, but there are some innovations that I would like to keep in our family forever. Vika, please continue to sleep naked! And kiss me on the subway, I don’t mind!”

OUR ADVICE:

When returning to “real” life, remember not about a long list of very urgent things, but that your relationship with your husband is much more important than anything else. During your vacation, you became closer again and saw something new in each other. Now try to maintain this feeling - at least until your next vacation.

Love as an experiment

Once, back in 1997, American psychologist Arthur Aron found out that he could make two strangers truly fall in love with each other. He compiled a list of 36 questions that reveal a variety of aspects of personality, for example: “What would your ideal day look like?”, “What do you value most in friends”, “What is your best achievement”, etc. After both Participants in the experiment answered the questions and had to silently look into each other's eyes for four minutes. Men and women who did not know each other not only felt warm feelings for each other: within a year after the experiment, more than half of the couples decided to get married!

See Aron's full list of questions here. You can answer them for each other and make sure that the method works (and at the same time look at each other a little differently).

English

An Englishman looks closely at the woman he likes for a long time, and only when he realizes that she exactly meets his requirements will he begin to court her. The lady of his heart must be well-groomed, educated and well-mannered.

To break through the ostentatious coldness, an Englishman must be surprised. For example, an original question, a joke, a caustic comment. The British do not take holiday romances seriously, so when breaking up, it is useless to ask for his phone number or address - he will not give them.

Greeks

Athletic, superbly built Greeks are the ideal subject for a holiday romance. They take excellent care, are moderately patient, and persistent. Loyalty to myths and legends lives in them. Therefore, it is important for them to see both Aphrodite and Athena in one person in the lady. The main qualities that they value in a woman are education, intelligence and erudition.

It’s hardly worth making plans for a long-term relationship. A Greek man truly loves sincerely, but only within the framework of a holiday romance. Surely he will have a wife and several children in addition.

French people

These men sincerely want to please a woman, even if they have only known her for a few hours. The French are usually quite generous, pampering strangers with gifts already on the first date. Sex comes first for them, and there is no taboo for them in bed. The French can talk to a lady about love without interruption, and a night with one of them will be remembered forever.

You can interest a Frenchman with an interest in the cultural values ​​of his homeland. He doesn’t care about a woman’s problems, so you shouldn’t complain about life in his company. He will also like it if the woman learns a few words in his native language.

Stars who broke their fate because of an affair with a foreigner


Galina Loginova (right), after breaking up with her husband Bogich (in the circle), put all her strength into the career of her daughter Milla. Photo: Vladimir Sindeyev/TASS, YouTube.com

The tragic fate of the star of the series “Shadows Disappear at Noon” Alexandra Zavyalova, who died two days before her 80th birthday at the hands of her own son, made the whole country shudder (details on kp.ru). The actress’s life could have turned out differently: in 1964, Othello Ceresolli, an admiral of the US Navy, proposed marriage to her. The KGB intervened: Othello was expelled from the USSR, and the actress’s career was ruined. But Alexandra Zavyalova is not the only Soviet beauty whose life was ruined by an affair with a citizen of a foreign country. Although the 1947 decree “On the prohibition of marriages between citizens of the USSR and foreigners” ceased to apply after Stalin’s death, it still ruined the fates of lovers.

Milla Jovovich made mother Gali's dream come true

Galina Loginova received the first role of Olga Voronova in her life in the same TV series “Shadows Disappear at Noon”, which made Zavyalova famous. When the series was released in 1971, they started talking about Loginova. She was offered the role of Beatrice in the comedy Much Ado About Nothing. But soon Loginova’s surname disappeared from newspapers and magazines. And all because of an affair with Serbian doctor Bogić Jovovich. At first, the actress was summoned to the KGB for soul-saving conversations, and when she refused to part with the Yugoslav, they threatened with serious problems. But Galina still decided to marry a foreigner and in 1975 gave birth to a daughter, Milica Jovovich. The happiness did not last long - for political reasons, Galina’s husband left the USSR. The actress was able to fly to him in London only five years later.

A year later, the couple moved from the British capital to Los Angeles to be closer to Hollywood. But Galina could not become an actress, and her husband’s career as a doctor did not work out. To support themselves, the couple became servants in the house of the famous director Brian De Palma. Bogich tried to get rich through financial fraud, but received a 20-year sentence (though he was released after seven). Family relationships collapsed, and Galina put all her strength into her daughter, Milla Jovovich. It was she who fulfilled her mother’s dream by becoming a Hollywood star.

Tito's muse

Tatyana Okunevskaya was invited to the cinema right on a Moscow street: the student of the Architectural Institute was so good. And immediately a resounding success in the title role of Mikhail Romm’s film “Pyshka”. Tatyana is invited to the Moscow Realistic Theater; you cannot buy a ticket for performances with her. But in 1937, the actress’s father and grandmother were shot. The daughter of an “enemy of the people” is fired from the theater, and the single mother needs to feed her daughter Inga from her failed marriage with director Mito Varlamov. To improve her situation, Tatyana married the writer Boris Gorbatov in 1938 and even returned to the theater. In 1946 she was sent on tour to Europe. There Okunevskaya met the Yugoslav leader Josip Broz Tito. The marshal fell in love with Tatiana and offered to stay in Croatia, promising to build a film studio for her. Okunevskaya did not agree and returned home. The actress’s daughter, however, does not confirm the legend about Tito, assuring that her mother had an affair with a completely different foreigner.

Although Okunevskaya’s daughter insists that her mother did not have an affair with Tito (right), Tatyana herself (left) has repeatedly hinted at this. Photo: kino-teatr.ru, wikipedia.org

In November 1948, Okunevskaya was arrested and charged with “anti-Soviet propaganda.” The actress was sentenced to 10 years in the camps. Okunevskaya ended up in Dzhezkazgan, where she mined ore in a mine. Five years later, in 1954, she was rehabilitated. Tatyana returned to the theater and began acting again. At 86, she decided to undergo plastic surgery, during which she contracted an infection. The actress died two years later.

"Soviet Sophia Loren" committed suicide

When the first Soviet top model Regina Zbarskaya still bore her maiden name Kolesnikova and was a student at the Faculty of Economics at VGIK, she was invited to the House of Models. She soon turned into a leading fashion model. Regina was the first to go to Paris to prove that there was fashion in the USSR; she was nicknamed the “Soviet Sophia Loren.” Fashion designer Pierre Cardin admired her, Yves Montand was delighted with her, and the talented artist Lev Zbarsky went down the aisle with her. Life with her bohemian husband did not bring happiness - he forbade her to give birth, and then began an affair with actress Lyudmila Maksakova. Soon Lev Zbarsky emigrated to the United States, leaving the beauty with the stigma of “the wife of a defector.” Regina suffered, but fell in love again. Her chosen one was a Yugoslav journalist who turned out to be a traitor. He went to the West, where he published the book “100 Nights with Regina Zbarskaya,” in which he revealed not only the intimate details of their romance, but also accused her of working for the KGB. The scandal was deafening - Regina was unable to return to the podium and worked as a cleaner at the Model House. During her first attempt to commit suicide, they managed to save her and put her in a psychiatric clinic for a long time. In October 1987, 51-year-old Regina Zbarskaya took a lethal dose of sleeping pills.

Regina received the sonorous surname Zbarskaya from her husband Leo. Photo: crossfashion.ru

TO THE POINT

Zoya Fedorova was killed by the American attache

In 1945, Deputy US Military Attache Jackson Tate arrived in Moscow. At the reception, he met one of the stars of the Soviet screen, Zoya Fedorova. Jackson and Zoe liked each other at first sight. A whirlwind romance began, which was interrupted by a sharp change in the political situation - from an ally, America quickly turned into an enemy, and Tate was expelled from the country. Zoya was already pregnant. She gave birth to her daughter Victoria without any news about Tate. She had to hide the name of the girl’s father and urgently marry her friend, composer Alexander Ryazanov, in order to avoid persecution. It didn’t help - a year later the actress was arrested and sentenced to 25 years for espionage. Fedorov served her sentence in Vladimir prison. Little Victoria was raised by Fedorova’s sister, who was sent into exile in northern Kazakhstan with her own children.

When Jackson Tate (in the circle) met Zoya Fedorova, she had already received two Stalin Prizes. The photo shows a still from the movie “Girlfriends.” Photo: Still from the film, youtube.com

The actress was released after rehabilitation in 1955. She returned her daughter and even started acting. Only in 1976, Fedorova was allowed to travel to the United States to see her beloved man, who had risen to the rank of vice admiral in the US Navy. By that time, their daughter Victoria had already left for America. Zoya also collected documents to move for permanent residence, but did not have time. In December 1981, she was shot dead with a pistol in her own apartment.

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