Why did you break up?
When feelings flare up again, it may seem that all the bad things in your story are no longer so important.
And in general, you used to be very dramatic, but now you have become wiser and will not get upset over trifles. There is even such a thinking trap - the effect of fading emotions. Because of it, we forget the negative and again step on the same rake. If the reasons for the conflict were really trivial or have lost relevance, you can try to restore the relationship. For example, you lived in different cities and were tired of maintaining a long-distance romance, and now you have moved and are close to each other. Or it seemed to you that the feelings had faded away, but now you realize that this is not so. However, if the breakup occurred due to betrayal, manipulation, or pathological jealousy, there is not much chance of success. Such problems are difficult to “treat.”
relationship with husband after divorce
My husband and I have been together for 13 years, 6 of which we have been married. I never had a warm relationship with my mother-in-law. She somehow didn’t accept me right away or something. There have never been open conflicts, but in general the situation is always tense, there is some kind of understatement. My husband also has an older sister. And so his mother and sister constantly exploited him. He brought bags of groceries from his mother to his sister (they live in neighboring houses), and picked up his nieces from the kindergarten, and in the morning he drove from another area of the city to pick them up from their grandmother and take them to kindergarten. And much more. Until I openly stopped this, there were grievances, but they didn’t press me like that anymore. I'm not against helping each other, but it has to be mutual. But this was not even close. When our daughter was born, my mother-in-law rarely came, and if she did, it was almost at 8-9 pm, when we went to bed. At the same time, when my sister-in-law had a baby, it was impossible to come later than 7 pm, the mother-in-law always urged her husband, they say, bring it quickly, otherwise you can’t visit them later. My parents live far away and rarely come, because we have a one-room apartment and have nowhere to sleep. Therefore, you only have to ask your mother-in-law to help with the child. But this doesn’t suit her, although she raised her sisters-in-law, they are already schoolgirls, and she still helps if necessary. This is a daughter, of course, but who am I, I just don’t understand why she’s not thinking about her son at this time. The mother-in-law does not officially work, she is looking after her friend’s grandfather, and the care for the most part consists of keeping him company. For this, she will inherit his apartment, and plus he pays her something else monthly. But she presents this care in such a way that she can’t really do anything, and she can’t take the child, and even if she needs to pick her up from kindergarten earlier, it’s also not for her, because she leaves only at a certain time from her grandfather. At the same time, she was able to leave for the wedding for three days and even her grandfather was not an obstacle. Well, then, on an increasing scale, the child went to kindergarten, I went to work, sick leave began. There is no one to ask to babysit. As a result, I quit my job. My mother and mother-in-law quarreled over this. Now my mother-in-law has stopped visiting us altogether, we hardly communicate. And the other day we were at her birthday, my husband said a toast to happiness and health, as usual, and added - “well, listen to your children.” My sister-in-law clung to these words, I stood up for my husband and, in general, a small conflict arose and the evening was ruined. There is a high probability that it is the sister-in-law who plays an important role in our relationship; the mother-in-law simply idolizes her and listens to her in everything.
PS I apologize for being so long and chaotic. I am writing under emotion. Maybe someone had or has a similar relationship with their mother-in-law and sister-in-law? How are you coping? I worry a lot afterwards, I express everything to my husband, we fight only because of this, there are no other conflicts. I'm already thinking about divorce. But I understand that it’s stupid to destroy a family because of this, but on the other hand, it poisons life so much.
Did you have other partners?
After your breakup, the person could be dating someone else. If this union was long lasting or even ended in marriage, this may affect your future relationships. There could still be feelings between people, they could be bound by some obligations: children, a common business, loans.
This doesn't mean you can't start over. But you need to take into account possible difficulties and discuss them. For example, how would you react to the fact that someone else’s child will now live with you? What will you feel if your significant other communicates with your ex-spouse every day at work? Assess how prepared you are for this.
If the relationship with your ex-husband is a problem
How to get rid of your ex-husband
If your ex-husband’s annoyingness develops into harassment, and you no longer have any idea how to get rid of your ex-husband, then you simply need to turn to your acquaintances and friends for help.
Among them there will probably be strong guys who will be able to clearly explain to their ex-husband that he is quite tired of his persistence.
The method is quite effective and efficient, and is also able to clearly show that you are always ready to take any active action and have someone to stand up for you.
To summarize, we can emphasize this important fact that the solution to the problem is possible only through definite and decisive actions on your part.
You cannot allow any hints, much less concessions on your part - this can only aggravate the situation and convince the ex-husband that there is still a chance to restore the family. Of course, if you don't want it. To get rid of your ex-husband, you should take a targeted course of correct actions in this direction.
All success rests solely in your hands, and more specifically in your actions. If you set a certain goal for yourself, then you can certainly achieve it no matter what.
In addition, if the harassment continues, you can always contact law enforcement agencies, who can legally prohibit your ex-husband from contacting you in any form.
Why do you want to get back together?
It’s good if this is an informed decision: you spent some time apart, reviewed everything that happened between you, and realized that you still love each other, want to be together and are ready to work on the relationship. But there are other reasons, less reasonable. Let's say you crossed paths and a passion flared up between you for a short time, which could end just as quickly. Or you're just bored. Or maybe you are lonely and want support. Finally, there is a possibility that you are afraid to leave your comfort zone and enter into a new relationship, so you are reaching for something familiar.
If the reason for the reunion is dubious, you risk breaking up again, and before that, pretty much getting on each other’s nerves. Before you step into the same river for the second time, take a break and analyze your motives.
Are there any grievances and omissions left between you?
It’s one thing if you both once decided to break up, and quite another if the breakup was initiated by one person. The abandoned partner could have accumulated a lot of anger and complaints. Sooner or later, all this may come to light and result in scandals. The same applies to unresolved conflicts: “Do you remember how you forgot about my birthday?”, “I still can’t forget what you said to my mother when we met.”
If you're thinking about getting back together, it's best to bring such complaints to light and discuss them so they don't undermine your relationship later.
How do you now intend to build communication?
Last time something went wrong. Perhaps everything was crossed out by some event - betrayal or deception. Or maybe minor discontents that accumulated over months and buried love and tenderness played a role. If you want to give each other a second chance, think about how you will now work with emotions and grievances, look for compromises, resolve conflict situations - from irritation over unwashed dishes to reluctance to communicate with your partner’s relatives.
Make a list of all the issues on which you could not agree last time, and think about how you will resolve them now.
Have you gotten back together with your ex-partners? If so, how successful was your renewed relationship? Share your stories in the comments.
How can I “protect” myself? My ex-husband and I live together,
Article 36. Acquisition of rights to land plots that are in state or municipal ownership and on which buildings, structures, structures are located
1. Citizens and legal entities who own, gratuitously use, have economic management or operational management of buildings, structures, structures located on land plots that are in state or municipal ownership, acquire rights to these land plots in accordance with this Code.
Unless otherwise established by federal laws, citizens and legal entities - owners of buildings, structures, and structures have the exclusive right to privatize land plots or acquire the right to lease land plots. This right is exercised by citizens and legal entities in the manner and under the conditions established by this Code and federal laws.
Religious organizations that own buildings, structures, structures for religious and charitable purposes, located on land plots that are state or municipal property, are provided with ownership of these land plots free of charge.
Religious organizations that, in accordance with federal laws, have the right to free use of buildings, structures, structures for religious and charitable purposes located on land plots that are in state or municipal ownership, these land plots are provided with the right of free fixed-term use for the period of free use of these buildings , buildings, structures.
1.1 The sale of land plots in state or municipal ownership to the owners of buildings, structures, structures located on these land plots is carried out at a price established respectively by executive authorities and local government bodies. The procedure for determining the price of these land plots and their payment is established in relation to:
Guarantor's comment.
Federal Law No. 281-FZ of December 25, 2008 amended subparagraph 1 of paragraph 1.1 of Article 36 of this Code.
See the text of the subparagraph in the previous edition
1) land plots in federal ownership - by a federal executive body authorized by the Government of the Russian Federation;
2) land plots that are owned by the constituent entities of the Russian Federation or for which state ownership is not demarcated - by state authorities of the constituent entities of the Russian Federation;
3) land plots in municipal ownership - by local government bodies.
Guarantor's comment.
Federal Law No. 160-FZ of July 23, 2008 introduced amendments to paragraph 1.2 of Article 36 of this Code, which come into force on January 1, 2009.
See the text of the paragraph in the previous edition
1.2. The price of land plots specified in paragraph 1.1 of this article cannot exceed their cadastral value. Until a federal executive body authorized by the Government of the Russian Federation, a state government body of a constituent entity of the Russian Federation or a local government body establishes a procedure for determining the price of a land plot, this price is set in the amount of its cadastral value.
2. In the existing development, land plots on which structures that are part of the common property of an apartment building, residential buildings and other structures are located are provided as common property in the common shared ownership of homeowners in the manner and under the conditions established by housing legislation.
Guarantor's comment.
On the transfer of land plots to owners of premises in an apartment building, see letter of the Ministry of Economic Development of Russia dated October 16, 2009 N D 23-3410
3. If a building (premises in it), located on an indivisible land plot, belongs to several persons by right of ownership, these persons have the right to purchase this land plot into common shared ownership or for rent with a plurality of persons on the tenant’s side, if otherwise not provided for by this Code, federal laws, taking into account shares in the ownership of the building.
If in a building located on an undivided land plot, the premises belong to some persons with the right of ownership, other persons with the right of economic management or operational management, or all persons with the right of economic management, these persons have the right to purchase this land plot for rent with a plurality of persons on the tenant's side, unless otherwise provided by this Code and federal laws. In this case, the land lease agreement is concluded with the condition that the parties agree to the entry into this agreement of other rights holders of the premises in this building.
State-owned enterprises and state or municipal institutions - the legal holders of the premises in this building have the right to limited use of the land plot to exercise their rights to the premises belonging to them.
4. If premises in a building located on an undivided land plot are assigned to several government enterprises and state or municipal institutions, this land plot is provided to the person who owns a large area of premises in the building for permanent (indefinite) use, and other of these persons have the right to limited use of the land plot to exercise their rights to the premises assigned to them.
Guarantor's comment.
Federal Law No. 169-FZ of July 1, 2011 sets out paragraph 5 of Article 36 of this Code in a new wording, which comes into force on July 1, 2011.
See the text of the paragraph in the previous edition
Guarantor's comment.
The provisions of paragraph 5 of Article 36 of this Code (as amended by Federal Law No. 169-FZ of July 1, 2011) do not apply until July 1, 2012 in relation to documents and information used in the framework of public services provided by executive authorities of the constituent entities of the Russian Federation or territorial state extra-budgetary funds, and municipal services, and in relation to documents and information at the disposal of state bodies of constituent entities of the Russian Federation, local governments, territorial state extra-budgetary funds or organizations subordinate to state bodies or local governments involved in the provision of state or municipal services
5. To acquire rights to a land plot, citizens or legal entities specified in this article jointly apply to the executive body of state power or local government body provided for in Article 29 of this Code with an application to acquire rights to a land plot.
The list of documents required to acquire rights to a land plot is established by the federal executive body that carries out the functions of developing state policy and legal regulation in the field of land relations.
Executive bodies of state power and local government bodies provided for in Article 29 of this Code do not have the right to require the applicant to submit additional documents, with the exception of the documents provided for in the specified list.
Executive bodies of state power and local government bodies, provided for in Article 29 of this Code, do not have the right to require the applicant to submit documents that are at their disposal, at the disposal of other state bodies, local government bodies or organizations subordinate to state bodies or local government bodies in accordance with regulatory legal acts of the Russian Federation, regulatory legal acts of the constituent entities of the Russian Federation, municipal legal acts, except for cases where such documents are included in the list of documents determined by Federal Law of July 27, 2010 N 210-FZ “On the organization of the provision of state and municipal services”.
Guarantor's comment.
Federal Law No. 141-FZ of July 22, 2008 sets out paragraph 6 of Article 36 of this Code in a new wording, which comes into force ninety days after the official publication of the said Federal Law.
See the text of the paragraph in the previous edition
6. Within a month from the date of receipt of the application specified in paragraph 5 of this article, the executive body of state power or local government body, provided for in Article 29 of this Code, makes a decision on the provision of a land plot on the right of ownership, for rent, or in the cases specified in paragraph 1 Article 20 of this Code, on the right of permanent (unlimited) use. Within a month from the date of the decision to provide a land plot on the right of ownership or lease, the executive body of state power or local government body, provided for in Article 29 of this Code, prepares a draft agreement for the sale or lease of a land plot and sends it to the applicant with a proposal for conclusion of the relevant agreement.
Guarantor's comment.
Federal Law No. 66-FZ of May 13, 2008 amended paragraph 7 of Article 36 of this Code.
See the text of the paragraph in the previous edition
7. If the state cadastral registration of a land plot has not been carried out or the state real estate cadastre does not contain information about the land plot necessary for issuing a cadastral passport of the land plot, a local government body based on an application from a citizen or legal entity or an appeal provided for in Article 29 of this Code by the executive The government body, within a month from the date of receipt of the specified application or appeal, approves and issues to the applicant a diagram of the location of the land plot on the cadastral plan or cadastral map of the relevant territory. The person who has applied for the provision of a land plot ensures, at his own expense, that cadastral work is carried out in relation to this land plot and applies for state cadastral registration of this land plot in the manner established by the Federal Law “On the State Real Estate Cadastre”.
The location of the boundaries of the land plot and its area are determined taking into account the actual land use in accordance with the requirements of land and urban planning legislation. The location of the boundaries of the land plot is determined taking into account the red lines, the location of the boundaries of adjacent land plots (if any), and the natural boundaries of the land plot.
Guarantor's comment.
Federal Law No. 66-FZ of May 13, 2008 sets out paragraph 8 of Article 36 of this Code in a new wording.
See the text of the paragraph in the previous edition
8. The executive body of state power or the local government body provided for in Article 29 of this Code, within two weeks from the date of submission of the cadastral passport of the land plot, makes a decision on the provision of this land plot to the persons specified in paragraph 5 of this article, and sends them a copy of such a decision with attachment of the cadastral passport of this land plot
Guarantor's comment.
By Resolution of the Constitutional Court of the Russian Federation of April 23, 2004 N 8-P, the provision of paragraph 9 of Article 36 of this Code was recognized as not contradicting the Constitution of the Russian Federation
9. Foreign citizens, stateless persons and foreign legal entities - owners of buildings, structures, structures have the right to acquire ownership of land plots in the manner established by this article, and in accordance with paragraph 2 of Article 5, paragraph 3 of Article 15 and paragraphs 4 and 5 of Article 28 of this Code.
Guarantor's comment.
See comments to Article 36 of the RF Land Code.
