Makeup
A lot of girls don't know how to put on makeup.
More precisely, they think that they are making themselves more beautiful, but in fact their appearance leaves much to be desired. So, it’s better to start your make-up with a makeup base, that is, with a primer. It will help make your skin smooth. Apply foundation carefully. It, of course, helps hide various imperfections on the face, such as a pimple or circles under the eyes. But if you overdo it, it will have the opposite effect. It's the same with powder. It only needs to be applied a little. You can apply a little blush to your cheeks. To make your eyes appear larger and more expressive, tint your eyelashes with mascara.
How can I convince myself that I am absolutely normal and accept myself completely?
There are many scars on my body. On the body itself, on the hands. It doesn’t matter what they are from, they exist, they are the result of my past and I can no longer change this in the present and future. I have to live with these scars for the rest of my life. I've gotten used to it, but I can't feel truly free. I avoid beaches, water parks, and medical examinations cause me extreme stress. I have to hide my shortcomings. How far-fetched is this complex? How to live fully? How can I convince myself that I am absolutely normal and accept myself completely?
Why do you need to convince yourself that you are absolutely normal if you are not?
This is the rub of your thoughts. you keep trying to convince yourself that you are “an ordinary person and everything is ok.” that is why you cannot “accept yourself completely.”
your scars are your reminder of a certain period of your life, which you clearly are not very pleased with. When you think that people see your scars, you immediately begin to think that people will find out about your life situation. and it kind of exposes you to others. Every person walks around with his own shit and is silent, smiles, and doesn’t tell anyone anything. and your shit is visible to everyone around. you are at a disadvantage relative to other people.
This is what distinguishes you from other people. therefore you are not an ordinary person. You are a person who cannot hide his shit like all other people.
how bad is it? Well, another guy walks around smiling at everyone around him, wearing shit about himself in his bosom. After all, there are no saints among us, we are all the same. someone is wrong in one thing, someone in another. and everything is out there for you. you know this as a kind of act of renouncing hypocrisy. as if all people said whatever they thought. so do you, present yourself to the world as you are.
so what is the problem here? scars? for a man? and so what? people come back from the war different, and there are distorted faces, and without limbs, and a lot of other things. Your scars on your hands are most likely clear to me, especially those that you are ashamed of. most likely scars from a suicide attempt. speak up, don’t worry, it’s all bullshit. I say, we are all human. and if not, if it was something else, then no problem at all. and if you attempt suicide, then everything is valid - you are showing people the real you. a man who tried to commit suicide but survived.
Now you are alive, and that's the main thing. you defeated your test and now you are here. everything else has already been lived, and it comes out. do you know why this is good? you don't have to hide it from the people you're close to. you don’t have to worry and think about something for yourself. look for beautiful phrases and stun people with the real you. You are who you are, no masks.
you don’t need any tattoos and you don’t even need surgery to hide scars. it's you as you are, with all your shit out there.
how to accept yourself completely? realize that you have overcome that period. that you are still here and you are moving on with life. whatever it is, you got through it. and if it was, then it was necessary for your present. exactly the way it happened. therefore, everything is absolutely normal, you are a free and full-fledged person.
What to do if you are the one in the white coat
Trying on “white clothes” is generally natural for a person. There is hardly anyone who has never done this, at least mentally. But such behavior can hurt others, and it is still better to leave the coat in the closet rather than show it to the world.
- Try to keep track of the moments when you want to say “Here I am...” and proudly rise above your interlocutors. Pause and ask yourself what this will do for you and how other people will react to it. In fact, the pleasure from your own “shine” will be fleeting, and you will hardly want to continue communicating with you.
- Don't talk about things you don't understand in practice. Try to talk about your experience (after checking to see if it's appropriate) rather than giving advice or direction. “My child is usually quite calm and obedient, but I have a couple of tricks to deal with his whims. If you want, I can tell you."
- If you really want to share your successes and express how great you are, do it in a respectful manner, without humiliating or devaluing others. “Imagine, I always buy groceries a couple of months in advance, and during quarantine this helped me out.”
- Often a white coat is worn when recognition is lacking. Think about how else you can get it. For example, at work, ask for feedback from your manager, at home, talk to your family and explain that you want to be praised more often. If you do a hobby, share the results on social networks - there will definitely be at least a couple of people who will appreciate your achievements.
Do you have to deal with people in white coats? How do you usually react? Tell us in the comments.
How to Deal with People in a White Coat
Tatiana Plungyan
Crisis psychologist.
It's good if you have the opportunity to sort out your own feelings. What's happening to me now? How do I react to this? What words exactly caused these feelings in me? What values of mine were affected? It is useful to remember that you have the right to have any feelings and that they can indicate to you what is happening.
For example, we often react to violations of boundaries with anger and malice (my foot was stepped on on the tram, of course, I will be indignant). White-coated statements are a clear invasion of personal space, and you have the right not only to be indignant, but to experience a lot of other feelings.
There is some possibility that the interlocutor “stumbled” unintentionally - then you can tell what reaction his words evoke in you and call for order. It is worth using an “I statement”, which is not about what you would like to call the interlocutor in this story, but about you and your reaction in response to what you heard. If the person did not mean to offend you, perhaps he will apologize and change his communication tactics.
If this does not help, there may be several options. On the Internet, of course, the easiest way is to ignore a person or ban them altogether. You shouldn’t engage in a long emotional correspondence; most likely, it will only take up your time and energy and will not bring results.
In reality, if a person is not close and not very dear to you, you can also stop the conversation or transfer it to another topic. Possible options are to go to another room or demonstratively start reading a book if the person does not understand that you have really “left” the contact.
Remember that the man in the white coat is not trying to help you with his statements or find the right solution to the problem. Most likely, he simply increases his own self-esteem by humiliating others and making comparisons not in their favor. Therefore, an open and honest conversation about what is happening is most often out of the question.
Follow the rules of your own safety: maintain only topics of conversation that are acceptable for you in communication with this person, limit or completely stop communicating with toxic people, filter incoming information, in particular, in the endless feeds of the Internet space. Take care of yourself and notice changes in your own condition.
It happens that it is impossible to complete communication with a person who regularly “walks” a white coat (for example, these are relatives or colleagues). Never turn to these people for support and strictly monitor the topics that you are willing to discuss together.
If the situation is getting out of control and you need support, seek psychological help.
How to become more beautiful and attractive?
People around you perceive a complete image, and therefore, if you are stylishly dressed and beautifully made up, then hardly anyone will notice a hump on your nose or a protruding lip. The main thing is to shine completely, which will add confidence to the fullest.
Methodology - how to evaluate yourself correctly and increase confidence:
- Stand in front of the mirror, look at yourself from all sides, highlight your advantages, for example, tall height, slimness, big eyes, long legs, harmonious facial features, dark curls. The more advantages you notice, the better for you.
- If there are shortcomings, then decide how they can be corrected: small breasts can be enlarged with a push-up bra, thin lips with the right makeup, an uneven nose with contrasting shades of foundation.
- Create an image that will always be before your eyes, love it, and wake up every day with this mental image, let your confidence increase every day, then others will begin to notice you and follow you.
And also always monitor the condition of your nails and hair, do a manicure, pedicure, correct and neat hairstyles, choose clothes according to your holistic image, behave naturally and at ease in society.
