Love is gone
Love is a difficult feeling that needs to be maintained. If you don't do this, it will turn into a banal habit. Life together becomes overgrown with routine and everyday life, in which feelings fade away. Many women, not noticing that their husband has lost interest in her, fall into a stupor when he openly declares that he no longer loves her. In fact, you can tell by a man when his feelings have faded.
Signs of Faded Love
- The husband ceases to define the family as a single whole. If there is a child in the family, this does not mean that he has lost interest in him. A man can continue to raise a child, but do it without the help of his significant other. He will stop talking about joint affairs and the future, he will stop caring about family troubles.
- You have more and more different interests and less and less common ones. He constantly tries to leave the house, stay away from his wife, go anywhere: a walk, a hunt, a gym. He will come up with a lot of reasons to spend as little time as possible with his wife and spend it in any other company or alone with himself. This is a sign that he has stopped loving.
- The moment a spouse is no longer interested in his own wife, he becomes more irritable. Criticality appears in him, he is ready to point out its shortcomings everywhere, will enter into verbal polemics and lead to conflict, even in front of strangers. There is also a second class of men who, on the contrary, resort to the method of completely ignoring their partner. They simply stop communicating with their significant other and plunge into their illusory world.
- I feel that my husband doesn't love me. This phrase is well understood when there is no intimacy. This is the main and obvious feature in our example. Even if you continue to have a sexual life, it becomes less and less frequent each time. The moment a man loses interest in a woman, he will distance himself from her in every possible way, avoid touching her, not to mention hugs and kisses.
- When a woman stops attracting a man, he stops being jealous of her. It seems to me that no man can calmly watch his girlfriend flirt with another guy. He will show emotions. If this did not happen, then, alas, his feelings for the girl have faded.
- A man no longer showers a woman with compliments. Caring melts away before our eyes, when something happens, you won’t get help from him, he may not even provide moral support. Communication is becoming less and less.
Husband's indifference to family
Together we can begin to guess about the reasons for your husband’s distance and indifference. But, unfortunately, not everything is transparent in a relationship, and not all questions have clear answers. Sometimes even the person himself cannot explain what is happening to him, much less knows how to change it. That is, there are states of the soul that can be understood with the mind or a rational explanation can be found for this. But there is something from the realm of the irrational. And sometimes these different states are so intertwined that it is extremely difficult to separate them.
It is also possible that due to some circumstances he cannot pay due attention to his family, and the indifference attitude is just a mask.
And if you are not satisfied with your current relationship, do not try to reproach your husband in any way, do not make claims. After all, as you know, a man should not be “nagged”, but inspired!
We advise you to take the situation into your own hands - change it, and it’s best to start with yourself, with your attitude towards your husband.....
Of course, when a woman has a disorder in her family, her soul is heavy, it seems that the whole world has collapsed, because for her the family is always more important than the rest, and her hands give up on her own. But if you understand and realize that everything, or the majority, depends on you, then you can find a way out of any situation, and not sit and cry, waiting for someone to come and do everything for you.
Don't forget - over the years, relationships become a habit. Therefore, it is you who need to try to diversify your life and lead your companion. You need to be interesting to communicate with, propose and organize all sorts of events yourself. Men, as a rule, are very lazy in this regard and you shouldn’t be offended at them for this, but in some other respects they are “on top.”
In addition, in such a situation, you can act by trial and error, you can try to return to successful past experiences and revive something win-win positive, you can follow your husband’s situational desires or your own. The main thing is not to sit idly by!
Remember! The life of two people together is work. And in order to achieve a successful result, it is very important to be like-minded people and associates! A family in which the husband and wife do not have common aspirations and interests, some common hobby, common ideas about weekends, holidays, vacations, is doomed. Living together, of course, won’t hurt, but there will be no sense of community, a single whole. That is why, to be happy, you need to try yourself!
We recommend that you familiarize yourself with the lessons of family life https://family-secret.narod.ru/text.html#a8.
In this situation they will be very useful. We hope everything goes well for you! Good luck! Additional information on the topic: www.kleo.ru
What should I do when my husband doesn't love me?
There is no cookie-cutter option that will help every family. Everything is individual and depends on many circumstances. Psychologists agree on one thing. Under no circumstances should you humiliate yourself in front of a man. Quarrels and bickering will not help in this situation, but will only worsen what is happening. The husband, most likely, upon seeing such a reaction, will become even stronger in his desire to leave you.
In any case, the most important thing is to calm down, and when the emotions pass, analyze the situation and decide with a fresh head what to do next. Look deep into yourself and try to understand: do you still have feelings for a man? Maybe you don’t need it anymore?
Perhaps the man fell in love with the girl because of her laughter, with which she “bewitched” him. Over time, the laughter became less and less, the woman changed, and the man lost interest in her. Instead of laughter, he observes sadness and sadness, which makes him fall into despair.
Let the man go, don't try to stop him. Consider the fact that he left as the beginning of a new life. Pay attention to your loved one, remember what makes you happy, what brings happiness to life, and occupy your time with this activity.
The end of love with one person does not always make life worse. Sometimes, on the contrary, it gives us the opportunity to meet our true person, destined by fate itself.
Natalya Nekrylova
Question for a psychologist:
Hello! I guess I need your help, I’m 27 years old, I’ve been with my husband for 5 years, my husband is 34 years old, we have a daughter. Recently, I began to notice that my husband simply does not notice me, his friends come first (if you can even call them that, since after every meeting with them he comes home in the morning) and pretends that nothing happened. happened, he doesn’t care that I didn’t sleep all night, and in the morning I have to work……. Sometimes I tried to talk to him, but he starts attacking me and talking all sorts of nonsense that is not relevant to the conversation at all.....then I stopped trying to talk to him altogether, it is impossible to convince him of anything, he believes that he is always right.
A year ago we decided to have another child, and he really wanted it, but a year has passed and I just can’t get pregnant, I went through many procedures, once during the procedures I had a temperature of almost 40 degrees, this happened for two days, I went to work , and with the last of her strength she came and fell at home, but my husband did not pay attention to me, I asked him to sit with me, he came to my room, sat down, opened a magazine, turned on the TV louder, sat for about five minutes, then said stop shaking, and I was shaking very much from the temperature, and my head was pounding, I couldn’t take the medicine, since I was given an injection to prevent diseases and I had to endure with all my might, and from my husband I saw nothing of support, sympathy, or understanding...
Every next month I’m very worried that I can’t get pregnant, over the last two weeks I’ve lost 6 kg, I can’t sleep…… I’m completely alone……… although I’m a very sociable person at work, everyone loves me, I’m on good terms with everyone ...... at home it’s the other way around, even if we all go for a walk together, my husband and child walk 50 meters ahead of me, going to the store with me is generally a whole problem, a lot of dirt is poured on me, of course, along with swearing, at this moment I’m ready to fail through the earth from shame, but when we go to his guests there he tells everyone how much he loves me, in the end all his friends love him - and I remain a bastard…………. Sometimes you just don’t want to live………..
Psychologist's answer:
There are many things in your relationship with your husband that do not suit you. You lack attention, support, care from him. In various ways you tried to convince your husband and change his attitude. These attempts do not change anything in him, but there are certain consequences for you. The more effort you spend, the more you suffer, become disappointed in yourself, lose confidence and...become more and more emotionally dependent on your husband.
There are two things that I noticed and want to ask you. You suffer that you cannot get pregnant and passionately desire this. At the same time, you want this while being in a situation of an uncomfortable, traumatic relationship. What do you expect from pregnancy and the birth of your second baby? And second. Every time you turn to your husband, you encounter refusal in one form or another, and continue to turn again and again? Is it so important that he changes?
It seems to me that a significant part of the problem is that you are waiting for your husband to change, and placing responsibility for these changes on yourself. It’s as if you were saying to yourself: now I’ll find the right words... and he’ll understand me, I’ll get sick, he’ll see how bad I feel... and he’ll take pity on me, I’ll get pregnant... and he’ll appreciate me.
I suggest that you direct all the expectations that you address to your husband to yourself, not to wait for him to do it for you, but to start yourself and... feel sorry for yourself, respect your feelings and needs, value yourself regardless of whether he values you or not. If you are able to take this step towards yourself, you will soon see that the need to receive all this from your husband and any other person will no longer be so acute and painful. Then you will be able to independently evaluate the existing relationship and, instead of changing what does not want to change, you yourself will be able not to accept what does not suit you.
All the best to you, Natalya Nekrylova, psychologist.
Fell out of love, but doesn't leave
It happens that a woman understands that her husband no longer loves her and does not talk about it, but remains to live with her. My husband lives with me, why does this happen?
Not all men want to leave their comfort zone. The family always has food, washed clothes and a tidy apartment, and an established sex life. The wife begins to play the role of housekeeper.
Home, child, entertainment
It has already been said that spouses in marriage should be equal. Now a little specifics. Quite often, after the wedding, the beloved wife begins to serve her husband, takes care of the house, everyday life, and family. In the modern world, women, as already mentioned, often work to help their husbands provide for their family. And then they take over the “second shift” - doing household chores.
This kind of thing is detrimental to relationships. How should a husband treat his wife? Help with the child and around the house. Give a woman time for herself. And if the husband rests from time to time (for example, he goes fishing once a week), then the wife is entitled to a similar day of rest. This is especially true when both work. It is unfair if, after a hard day, a husband sits down to play at the computer while his wife cleans, does laundry, cooks, does homework with the children, and so on.
In other words, there should be mutual assistance and understanding in the family. Of course, every good husband must remember his responsibilities as a man. And don't involve your wife in them. If it so happens that, due to some life circumstances, a woman begins to perform male functions, the husband takes on some of the female functions. This is the key to equality and successful relationships, harmony in the unit of society.
