Ode to sexism. How to survive in a male group

25.08.2014 |

For some representatives of the fair sex, working in a team of men is heaven on earth, for others it is a daily battle for life. Why is this happening? Is it possible to make existence in the kingdom of Y chromosomes more comfortable?

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Pros of working in a male team

12% of women working among men admitted that they would not trade their favorite colleagues for anyone. And, it’s true, an intelligent woman will not only be able to fit in with a male team, but will also derive a lot of benefits from this order of things:

The main advantage of men's groups is the complete absence of women. And this is a complete guarantee that no one will envy your figure or third breast size, no one will spread gossip about you and whisper behind your back, no one will distract you with empty talk and cry into your vest.

A calm working environment is another important factor. The emotional “poverty” of men excludes intrigues and squabbles in the workplace. Of course, in any team there are exceptions, but we are talking about real men, and not parodies of them. So, a real man will not confuse the professional with the personal, which will give you the opportunity to calmly build a career.

Only by immersing yourself in a male team will you be able to delve into the intricate psychology of the stronger sex. Even if in a year you leave for another company, this knowledge will be useful to you for the rest of your life.
The opportunity to master something new. Working alongside representatives of the stronger sex, you will discover many professional secrets that will serve you well in the future.
By becoming friends with a male colleague, you automatically receive free services related to fixing a faucet, rearranging furniture, and towing a car. In addition, you can always go out for pizza and beer after work, because your colleagues are not on a diet.
Working in a male team is a great incentive to pay attention to yourself and your appearance. Whatever one may say, you can’t lose face in the dirt!
Professional activities among men are very interesting. In addition, the spirit of competition and the desire to prove that women are smarter are subconsciously triggered.
And the last thing is love. In a men's group, your chances of meeting your husband increase several times. Although there are pitfalls here too, which you will learn about a little later.

Don't expect it to be easy right away. No one has yet canceled the adaptation process, but it happens in any team.

Women are easily offended

Any word or insignificant deed can offend a woman. Therefore, men in the office need to be more careful about their words. In my opinion, women react worst to jokes. Not everyone understands them; moreover, men’s humor is very different from women’s. Therefore, it is better to stick to neutral topics in conversation.

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Difficulties of working in a man's field

Every medal has a reverse side. Professional life among men was also no exception to the rule. In some cases, being a member of the fair sex can play a cruel joke and turn against you. In practice, the disadvantages of working in a male team look like this:

Complete misunderstanding. A man and a woman are two different planets, whose inhabitants speak different languages. Thanks to this, ordinary things can cause a lot of problems, because you will have different views on them. But this will pass quickly, you just have to get used to each other.
Unfulfilled hopes. Thinking about working in a male team, a young and more or less attractive lady hopes for attention to herself. Imagine her disappointment when, instead of admiring glances and enthusiastic sighs, she only receives a dry “good afternoon”! What did you want? Remember, men don’t tend to mix work and personal life!
There is no one to consult with. You can’t have a heart-to-heart talk with a male colleague, ask for advice about a haircut or lipstick color. You can’t discuss with him the vixen mother-in-law who came to visit and the bitch friend who bought the same shoes. Men can talk for hours about work, but they will not give practical advice on things that are important to women.
Completely different topics for conversation - this is another significant disadvantage. Get ready to hear the details of a recent football match and the features of a new car model, the latest iPhone model and a computer keyboard.
But God forbid you mention something about your cat giving birth, a visit to the doctor, or the trends of the season. They won’t understand you - that’s 100%!
However, for such conversations there is a secretary with whom you can unwind during your lunch break.

Most women can change their mood in 1 minute

Despite all their professionalism, women are characterized by changeable moods. They are more emotional than men. Therefore, one minute they may praise you, but the next they will bombard you with criticism. At my work, almost all women divided the team into those they like and those they don’t like. They are rarely indifferent even to unfamiliar employees. My colleagues often took failures at work personally. So I have learned not to contact them when they are irritated. It's better to let them cool.

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How to dress in a men's group

A properly selected wardrobe is one of the main components of your luck.

Many people think that you need to dress beautifully and sexy for such a job. In fact, everything is completely different. Colleagues should not regard you as a sex object, unless, of course, you want to succeed and not shuffle papers for the rest of your days.

Experts recommend avoiding bright colors (including red, because with its help you challenge), as well as extravagant outfits and expensive jewelry. The same applies to shorts, miniskirts, deep necklines, fishnet tights and other seductive wardrobe items. Provocative makeup is another “forbidden fruit.”

Believe me, a frivolous image will immediately cause unnecessary thoughts and will not allow you to realize yourself professionally. Even if you realize your own flaw and start working hard, it will be extremely difficult to get back up.

But this does not mean that you should turn into a creature created in the image and likeness of men. A short haircut, a cigarette in your mouth, a tie and men's trousers will not work in your favor. They will simply ignore you and not put you on an equal footing.

So where to stop when choosing clothes? Give preference to a strict classic style, which will contain only hints of elements of a men's wardrobe. This could be a neckerchief, a white shirt, a pantsuit, a skirt and a vest.

Does this look seem too dry and ugly to you? We hasten to disappoint you! Over time, men who are passionate about work will get used to the outfits and stop noticing them.

Common mistakes of women working among men

Unfortunately, many representatives of the fair sex, who are just about to join the male team or who have worked there for several years, make a number of the same mistakes.

Read more carefully so as not to get into trouble.

Mistake #1. I'll start a novel!

We have already said that working in a men's group increases your chances of getting married several times. We also mentioned pitfalls. Now is the time to talk about them.

In the sphere of men, office romance is perceived as a forbidden technique. Moreover, if any problems arise, it is you who will suffer. And it’s not just about reputation, most likely you will simply be fired. Forget about flirting, coquetry and feminine tricks, especially in relation to the boss.

Be especially careful during corporate events, because it is there that the most unexpected things happen that can become a source of gossip. In addition, men perceive even innocent signs of attention incorrectly, although you never even thought about it!

As for work matters, avoid unnecessary touching and unnecessary physical contact, and compliment the man’s business qualities with refined compliments.

If this is love, fight for it to the end.

Mistake #2. “Well, I’m a woman” or “I can do anything, I can do anything”

When planning to work in a male team, some require increased attention and condescension, while others take on the position of an iron lady who can handle anything. Both the first and second behavior patterns are absolutely wrong.

In the first case, a woman risks receiving only outright rudeness in response, in the second, she risks wasting both her time and energy, since it is almost impossible to become absolutely at home in a group of men.

Stick to the middle ground and position yourself as a strong player who is willing to take responsibility for his actions and does not deny his feminine essence. No one forbids asking for help, but only when it is really needed.

For example, moving heavy folders to another office or opening a jammed lock is a completely adequate request, but making tea or picking up a dropped purse is coquetry.

Mistake #3. Heart to heart conversations

Are you trying to get into a man's soul? You are doing this completely in vain! Men hate heart-to-heart conversations, as well as attention to their personal lives or discussions of work colleagues.

But this does not mean that a man will never need your strong shoulder. You just need to substitute him correctly and silently - such an act will definitely be noticed.

Mistake #4. My main weapon is tears!

Keep your emotions in check, even if you have to deal with rudeness and dissatisfaction from colleagues every day. Most women are accustomed to responding to screams addressed to them with the same coin, releasing streams of bitter tears. In a situation with the stronger sex, this number may not work.

And the point is not in the callousness of the representatives of the male gender (although, admittedly, they also have this sin), but in the fact that for most men, women’s tears cause a storm of negative emotions. All of them are deposited in the subconscious and begin to be associated with you, which makes further cooperation with this man simply impossible.

Maintain your composure and respond quietly and calmly, pausing between words. This behavior will quickly cool down your opponent's ardor.

Mistake #5. Lifesaver

Trying to please the men around them, many women begin to listen to complaints, make coffee for everyone, run for cigarettes and bake pies. What's the result? They either begin to be used (“Do you want to be liked? Do this and that”), or are no longer perceived as a business partner (“She’s just another whore!”).

Therefore, dear ladies, do not try to please anyone. Business ethics and professionalism will do their job just as well as coffee and pies.

Mistake #6. You are good, he is bad

Of course, you will communicate with some people more, with others less. You will like some of your colleagues, and you may even hate others. But all this should remain with you, because a man will always be drawn to another man, no matter how good a worker you are.

Therefore, refrain from joining coalitions, behave impartially and be guided by the interests of the company, not the people. It is not yet known who your friend will turn out to be tomorrow and how your enemy will behave, but they don’t care, but they will hardly forgive you for your intrigues.

Mistake #7. I know how to do better!

Men are confident that they are smarter, stronger and better. And, believe me, no arguments will make them think otherwise. So don’t even think about criticizing your colleague, giving advice left and right, discussing decisions and sticking your nose in everywhere.

You also need to wait a bit with the phrases “Call”, “Do”, “Go”. Listen to the opinions of your colleagues and if you have better ideas, put them into more clever formulations - “What if we do this…”, “What if”, “What do you think…”. This way you have a better chance of being heard by your colleagues.

Mistake #8. Excessive talkativeness

A woman must pronounce three times more words than a man. Take this feature into account and open your mouth only for business, leaving thoughts in your head. Moreover, carefully think through the answers to all possible questions and “write down” a list of arguments. Say out loud only the final conclusion.

If during the conversation you come up with an idea related to another topic, discuss it a little later. By distracting yourself from the topic and explaining the essence of the issue to a man for a long time, you will achieve the opposite effect. Within a minute the man will lose interest in you, and after two he will begin to get irritated by so many words.

In addition, he simply will not understand what you want - just to inform you or to receive something in return. To put it simply, be sure to indicate the purpose of your conversation and be extremely brief: “The goods will arrive only in an hour - I want you to know that” or “Call the suppliers tomorrow morning, since I am leaving on company business.”

Mistake #9. I will become one of you

You are a woman, and this is all your charm! This means that you don’t need to know how many goals Pele scored or what the difference is between an Opel and a Chevrolet.

To support a man's conversation, it is enough to be aware of the latest news. A quick glance at online news is enough for small talk. Also discuss general topics - new fines, computer games, taxes, holidays abroad, etc., etc.

Women can't keep secrets about office romances

I believe that all men should be careful with office romances. Women experience them much more emotionally. Therefore, it is more difficult for them to keep their feelings secret. They are, of course, trying to be careful. But they are still tempted to tell their fellow friends about the relationship. They can tell their friends, and after a couple of weeks the whole office knows about the affair.

I would recommend not starting an office romance if you work in a women's team. After breaking up, it will be difficult for you to communicate with other colleagues, because in any case they will take the side of your ex. It's all about female solidarity.

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About the most important thing

So, you are on the threshold of an office where only men work. What should you keep in mind?

Both positive and negative await you. What will be more? Everything depends on you;
Gender does not interfere with your career;
The formula for success is a well-groomed appearance and excellent work;
Clothing style – business;
Communication style – reserved;
Minimum words and maximum actions;
No flirting and female coquetry, as well as homemade pies and heart-to-heart conversations;
You can ask for help, but only to the point and not in a humiliatingly pleading tone;
Don't try to become a man;
Self-control is paramount;
Don't lecture and don't bother with advice.

We hope that with our advice and recommendations, your work in a male team will be beneficial and as comfortable as possible. Good luck to you!

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