When a child appears, all strength, emotions, time and resources are given to the little miracle lying in the cradle. We stop thinking about how we look - heels and sophisticated makeup give way to simple and comfortable clothes with a minimum of makeup. How to become a beautiful and good mother?
It is customary to write that this is a terrible trend, leading to the fact that a woman ceases to be desirable for her husband, focuses only on the child and destroys her beautiful image. Pediatricians do not agree: this position is absolutely unacceptable! The birth of a child is an amazing time for mothers and fathers. Yes, it is difficult to maintain ideal beauty and be a flawless mother during the breastfeeding stage. But the concept of beauty is completely relative.
When a large number of mothers come to see a pediatrician, the thought immediately arises that mothers need to be conveyed the understanding that beauty can be natural and that the mother herself is beautiful, and the fact that she takes care of herself is in no way does not distract her from the child.
It has been noticed that it is mothers who are satisfied with themselves and harmonious who endure the feeding period more easily. They suffer less from postpartum depression, they adjust much faster and learn proper feeding. How to hold a baby, how to take care of your body and not harm the baby.
Moms have no time to go to cosmetologists and salons during this period; all that remains is the good old way of asking the doctor how to take care of themselves.
Beauty secrets for young mothers
And yet, how to become a beautiful and good mother? We will not go into details about the self-esteem of young mothers. Let us dwell only on the thought that during the birth of a child, a mother should be beautiful in a different way than during the period of conquering a man. First of all, a woman should perceive the refusal of “war paint” as a blissful period for resting the skin. So that the mother does not worry that the chosen care products will have a bad effect on the child, you just need to choose those creams that are developed specifically for this period in a woman’s life and can be safely used during feeding.
Skin care for a new mother
The secret to maintaining beautiful, glowing skin is that your supply of nutrients and vitamins must be constantly replenished. Because the skin loses them, it looks dry and tired. In winter, the skin dries out and looks dull. When dehydrated and in spring, it needs to regain its elasticity so that the feeling of tightness and dryness disappears. Young mothers often have rough skin, and when sunny, warm weather arrives, folds and wrinkles intensify. It is necessary to constantly moisturize it to maintain a healthy and beautiful appearance and prevent age-related changes.
At the same time, when feeding, the problem of cracked and irritated nipples often arises, and sometimes they simply turn into an unbearable source of bleeding and pain. Then mommy definitely has no time for beauty! There are many factors here - sometimes mothers simply do not hold the child correctly, sometimes they do not follow hygiene rules. There is a share of personal characteristics and skin sensitivity.
Vitamin A for moms and babies
For a quick and non-destructive solution, it is necessary that the product not only contain a lot of vitamin A, but that it be highly purified, and this is only possible with pharmaceutical production that meets international quality standards.
The fact is, vitamin A interacts with the skin, stimulating the healing process. In addition, highly purified vitamin A quickly restores the skin to its previous condition, moisturizes and soothes it. Let's add to this the effect of the cream base of the ointment, which allows you to maximally soften and moisturize the skin of mother and baby. At the same time, the ointment should not contain perfume additives, and it should not smell like fragrant herbs of traditional treatment. The absence of perfume additives in the ointment with a high content of vitamin A makes it low-allergenic. And the use does not in any way affect the quality of milk and does not even reduce the child’s appetite. In addition, such a product should not stain clothes; it should have qualities that ensure ease of application and rapid absorption.
If we analyze the problem of solving the complex with one remedy, taking into account the entire arsenal of actions listed above, then not a single cosmetic product or traditional medicine can have such safe multifunctionality. Among pharmaceutical products, we can recommend Videstim, which belongs to Russian developments and is made on the basis of retinol palmitate (this is highly purified vitamin A). At the same time, the use of any medicine does not negate hygiene issues that are important for beauty.
It is recommended to use a similar method for solving many problems using a single method in matters of personal hygiene. For example, cracked nipples during breastfeeding can occur due to the fact that clothes and underwear are made of synthetics. So the nipple becomes irritated, or the skin is not rinsed and moisturized on time. Peeling of the skin, also in both mother and child, can also be caused by the roughness of the fabric or allergic reactions to the composition of the fabric. And synthetics do not emphasize the amazingly natural beauty of mothers that they radiate at the birth of a child. Synthetics always look untidy, cheap, simple and cause many problems, especially with cracked nipples. There is only one way out - clothes and textiles in the house made from natural fabrics.
How to combine career and child?
Time flies quickly, and each era dictates its own conditions. If at the beginning of the last century the family was the only woman’s “work,” then for a modern woman being just a mother is no longer enough: a full life without an interesting profession is impossible for her.
Often, a woman sees family and work as two mutually exclusive concepts. But is this really so? Sympaty.net is sure that a talented woman is talented in everything: she can be a successful businesswoman and a mother at the same time - you just need to learn how to combine it.
How to do it? Here are some tips from “Beautiful and Successful”.
- If you feel an irresistible desire to become a successful working mother, enlist the moral support of your husband and other close relatives. Make sure they support you in your efforts to combine career and motherhood, and will actively help you with this after the birth of your child.
- While you still have this opportunity, try to save a certain amount of money, which would be enough for quality food for you and your child, educational toys for him and even for a nanny, who may be needed in the future. You shouldn’t count too much on the state benefits that you will receive after the birth of your child: at best, it will be enough for a stroller, a crib and several packs of diapers. So a successful and business mother should take care of this too.
- Determine the duration of maternity leave in advance and discuss this with your superiors. You may be offered part-time work, home work, or other types of remote work to begin with. Fortunately, there are now plenty of opportunities for this.
- Decide who will look after your child while you are away. It’s good if it’s one of your close relatives - mother, mother-in-law, sister. If you have to resort to the services of a nanny, you need to take her choice very seriously. By the way, on Sympaty.net there is a separate article on how to choose a nanny.
- When you are planning to go to work, gradually accustom your child to your absence. And no feeling of guilt: in order for a mother to become successful, she simply needs breaks from the child’s company.
- Do not use your child as an excuse for not making a report on time, being late, etc. In the end, it was your personal choice. But if the boss sees that you are coping with everything perfectly, he will definitely note your success, reflecting this in your salary or even promotion on the career ladder.
- Don’t forget about the person who supported you in everything from the very beginning - your husband. If you are interested not only in the affairs of the child and your own, but also in his, you devote time to him, showing how much you value his care and support, you will become an absolutely successful and happy mother and wife. In response to your attention, your husband will surround you with even greater care, creating for you every opportunity for professional self-realization.
After giving birth, mom becomes even more beautiful!
Give up everything artificial, including the imposed stereotype of beauty. Mom is beautiful in her own way, and her husband sees her with completely different eyes during this period. And when a woman’s condition is good, when she is a confident, beautiful mother, then illnesses and problems, and physiological and psychological changes pass more calmly, without traumatizing the psyche of mom, dad, or child! This wonderful period is of interest to both specialists and dads, who understand that this is the main achievement in life - procreation. And to mothers who see that they are loved and beautiful, and their baby is happy. The condition of the child and his illness depend on the environment and on the atmosphere in which he is born and lives in the first months of his life. Therefore, problems with skin, clothing, and appearance are small and private compared to the need to care for a child. But they become global when you look at them from the perspective of the further development of the family and taking into account many years of medical and personal experience.
Daria Fedorova - How to become the best mother in the world?
Daria Fedorova
How to become the best mom in the world?
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©The electronic version of the book was prepared by liters
Instead of an introduction. “Mom, is it difficult to be a god?”
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God,” says the Gospel.
And who is God for a tiny, defenseless creature born into the world? Who becomes the center of his Universe? Of course, MOM!
And even if the baby does not yet understand the meaning of these words, cannot pronounce them, but he feels: those hands that hold him, those lips that kiss him, that voice that gently envelops his ears, that milky aroma that his little one inhales. nose - this is his protection, strength and support - his MOTHER!
From that very cherished moment when you heard your baby’s timid or perhaps persistent first cry announcing his birth, everything in your world turns upside down. We, women, are given the opportunity to be the conductor of this fantastic miracle - the birth of a new life. But, having bestowed such a valuable gift, the Universe also places a huge responsibility on us.
It is no longer enough for us to simply be a valuable employee, a wonderful wife, or a trusted friend. Now we are incomparably greater. We have a responsibility to be a protector and support. Be a teacher and mentor. To be a prayer and a talisman. Be the embodiment of tenderness and sensitivity. And at the same time, be an example of steadfastness and determination. Is it easy?
It seems that being a mother is natural, it is a hypostasis that does not require special skills and knowledge from women, but comes from nature. In our world, there are a lot of licenses and certificates: for driving a car, for providing medical services, and the like. But at the same time there is no license for the profession “MOM”.
Yes, of course, many processes in us with the birth of a child are triggered instinctively, at the level of the subconscious and feeling. But still, a person is a very complexly organized system, and sometimes instincts alone are not enough to be able to raise a child as a Personality.
A lot in a child’s life depends on what his parents instill in him while he is small.
Everyone is familiar with this banal phrase: “All our problems come from childhood.” Unfortunately or fortunately, this is true. Mom and dad have a huge influence on the formation of the child’s ideas about the world and about himself. And it largely depends on the parents what kind of Personality the child will enter into the adult world - a positive, self-confident, creative, inquisitive, purposeful person or, on the contrary, a squeezed, constrained, stereotyped, overly fussy or lazy person.
Without knowing other models, children copy our behavior and reactions (including negative ones), our relationships with each other, our thoughts and beliefs. The way of life that the family leads, the foundations and traditions that are accepted in it, the ideas about “what is good and what is bad” - all this is projected into the child’s consciousness, processed in accordance with his innate psychotype and goes with him further into adulthood.
Neither your words, nor books, nor teachers' instructions influence the child as much as your living example. If you tell your child “Don’t scream!”, but you yourself talk to your husband in a raised tone – isn’t this deceit, isn’t it a double standard that the baby doesn’t understand? And do you think he will stop screaming then?
An example for a child is more important than your instructions. Therefore, if you want to instill in him positive traits and habits, work on creating them, first of all, in yourself.
The child's psyche is very receptive and sensitive. Those emotions and actions that sometimes break out in us “in the heat of the moment” or automatically can leave an indelible imprint on a sensitive child’s soul.
The child is not strong in logical connections, he interprets everything at the level of feelings, sincerely believing in our “I don’t love you when you play around!”, “You’re a bad boy!”, “You won’t succeed!” And we, as a rule, do not even realize that with an “outburst” remark, criticism, awkwardly dropped word, we increasingly reinforce in the child the idea that he is not loved, that he is not valuable, that he is incompetent...
And often we simply blindly copy the words of our own parents, who (remember, really?) oppressed us so much in childhood. And, without wanting it (after all, it seems that we are guided by completely opposite motives and want to make our children better!), we cultivate psychological problems and complexes in the child, ranging from low self-esteem to perfectionism. They all come from there – from childhood.
Of course, the world around us with its history and realities also contributes to the ineffective parenting patterns formed in us. Today's parents have still experienced the authoritarian regime of the Soviet Union, and if not, they fully experienced it through their parents and teachers.
In those days, it was not customary to decide and think independently, because there was a supreme governing body, the party, which knew better how to live. This killed people’s initiative, creativity, and desire to “stick their heads out.” People tried to be “like everyone else” and taught their children this.
Our education system is built on the same principle: it teaches to “obey your elders” (which in itself is not bad, if it were not elevated to the rank of an absolute), to think according to patterns instead of having your own point of view. So it turns out that a little “performer” grows up, and not a bright, creative personality who has his own aspirations, desires, and thoughts.
But today standard, familiar templates no longer work. And there is no need for such a conveyor belt of “performers.” Thousands of operations per second and complex calculations are performed by computers today. And it’s pointless for a “cog” person to compete with them in this!
Therefore, today, those who can find a non-standard solution, a creative approach, a unique method are becoming increasingly valuable. So do not impose on your child the opinion that the cloud should be white and the sky should be blue. Be happy if he drew the cloud in red, and praise him for such originality, because this is his personal, non-standard perception of the world, not yet molded by the “rules”. Cultivate your creative potential and creativity!
A fertile atmosphere of love and respect, as a rule, creates self-sufficiency and self-confidence in people, allows them to straighten their shoulders and allows their wings to grow. And therefore, being a mother is everyday work, painstaking and round-the-clock work, 24 hours a day, without breaks and days off. Personality creation work. And it depends only on you whether your child will become a Personality with a capital P.
So how to raise a child to be a Personality, a successful, self-confident person? How to finally raise him HAPPY? And how can you make sure that the process of upbringing is not only not a burden for you, but takes place with joy, love and positive results?
The main component of this recipe is love , and you will find the rest of the ingredients on the pages of this book...
The art of being a mother (my story)
Feel like the best mother in the world! What does it mean? What is this feeling? Does every mother feel it? Is it akin to the feeling of motherhood or is it something else?
What path should a woman go through to finally believe that she is the best mother in the world?
After all, our children are already born with the feeling that their mother is the best in the world, but do we ourselves believe this?
I'll tell you my story. Perhaps you will recognize yourself in her. Maybe then you will be able to shorten the length of this difficult path to yourself...
I have always loved little children. Since about six years old, probably. At least at the age of six, she was already happily babysitting her grandmother’s neighbor’s daughter. I always wanted to have a brother or sister, but, unfortunately, my parents had different views. Therefore, as soon as I reached the age of conscious adulthood, I began to dream about my baby.
I gave birth to my eldest daughter at the age of 25. She was very welcome, my husband and I were looking forward to her. But, despite this, I cannot say that the feeling of motherhood appeared immediately as soon as I saw her. Rather, I was surprised that she was so different from the one I wanted to see. This was the first failure to meet my parental expectations on her part. ☺
It was especially difficult for me on the first night after giving birth, when the baby screamed from 2 a.m. to 6 a.m., and I didn’t know what to do with her or how to help her. My husband said that at that moment there was confusion in my eyes, mixed with bewilderment.
