A woman hurts during sex: TOP 7 ways to relax

What are the causes of discomfort

The causes of discomfort in men are associated with Peyronie's disease, in which sclerotic plaques form on the penis.

In addition, the appearance of the symptom is influenced by organic sources, for example, tight foreskin, which does not lend itself to lifting during erection and causes pain in the head. Temporary discomfort occurs as a result of a tear in the frenulum.

In women, pain in the vagina during sex occurs due to emotional embarrassment and tightness. At the same time, every muscle of the body contracts, especially those located in the vagina. To prevent this symptom, you need to relax and trust your partner before sex.

However, the causes of pain in the vagina during sex in women and in the penis in men are not always so harmless. Most often the reason for this is illness.

Vaginismus

The disease is associated with insufficient relaxation of the vaginal muscles, which is associated with emotional factors. Treatment of this condition rests with a psychotherapist and sex therapist.

Inflammatory processes

The inflammatory process is indicated not only by pain in the vagina during sexual intercourse, but also by other symptoms:

• dryness of the vaginal mucous membranes;
• burning sensation;
• itching syndrome;
• nonspecific discharge.

If pain occurs at the entrance to the vagina, it is recommended to be tested for STIs (sexually transmitted infections): gonorrhea, chlamydial infection, candida infection, trichomoniasis, etc.

If the diagnosis is confirmed, restriction of sexual activity is required for the duration of treatment. To identify such diseases in men, bacterial culture is performed, since pathogenic microorganisms more often settle in the prostate.

Inflammatory processes are not always caused by such dangerous diseases. It is not uncommon for inflammation to develop against the background of activation of one’s own pathogens – fungi, E. coli, staphylococcus.

The proliferation of microorganisms increases when the body’s protective function is weakened, during menstruation and pregnancy.

Presence of adhesions

Adhesions are formed as a result of an inflammatory process in the appendages or intestines that a person previously suffered. This process is indicated by aching pain in the vagina during intercourse, as well as periodic delays and loosening of stools.

Other reasons

Pain in the vagina after and during sex indicates endometriosis. Often the symptom occurs with venous stagnation, which develops against the background of irregular sex life, lack of satisfaction, and abstinence.

Another cause is neuralgia of the pelvic nerves. In this case, shooting, throbbing pain is observed, and not only during sexual intercourse.

This manifests itself during examination on a gynecological chair while placing a special mirror in the vagina, or during an ultrasound examination of the uterus with a vaginal sensor. In this case, discomfort spreads to the labia and inner thighs.

The symptom also occurs against the background of insufficient secretion of lubricating fluid. The reason for this is the psychological state, the absence of Bartholin glands that were previously removed, hormonal disorders, hormonal contraceptives that the woman takes, and the menopause period.

Often, severe and sharp pain in the vagina during sexual intercourse occurs due to the anatomical incompatibility of the female and male genital organs.

Enough tolerating this. Why does it hurt during sex and how to fix it?

We talk with a gynecologist about unpleasant sensations and their causes

Sometimes, for various reasons, moments arise in a woman’s life when sexual life no longer brings pleasure, but gradually turns into a painful and painful “duty.”
And this can happen to anyone at any time: before and after childbirth, in a young couple, or in those who have already gone through both fire and water together. Some women hope that the pain will go away and disappear on its own, while others frantically begin to think through dozens of possible diseases in their heads. Today we will talk with a gynecologist about why it sometimes hurts, whether it is worth enduring and where the root of the problem may lie. Tatyana Pashuk Obstetrician-gynecologist

– Almost every second woman has probably at least once in her life encountered such a problem as discomfort and unpleasant sensations during sex. At the same time, half of them are silent. Not only do they not tell their partner about this, but they also hide it from the doctor. In fact, this phenomenon even has its own medical name – dyspareunia. This is the name given to the feeling of discomfort or pain in the external genitalia and pelvis, which prevents a woman from enjoying sex. This discomfort can manifest itself in different ways: for example, in the form of vaginal dryness, burning, and spotting. This is a problem that can be faced by both a girl who is just beginning to be sexually active and an experienced woman. The result is sexual dissatisfaction, decreased libido, avoidance of intimacy, disruption of relationships with a partner, and even depression. An examination by a gynecologist, ultrasound, laboratory tests, consultation with a psychotherapist or sexologist will help to correctly determine the cause. Today we’ll try to look at the most common symptoms, their causes and solutions.

1. What symptom? Vaginal dryness.

What could it be?

Insufficient vaginal moisture is observed in pre- and postmenopausal women, as well as in the postpartum period.
This is due to a decrease in estrogen production. In addition, women taking oral contraceptives face this problem. If the partner is too active and there is not enough caresses, the woman sometimes does not have time to get aroused, and the lack of natural lubrication causes pain. How to proceed?
Longer foreplay, as well as special intimate gels and lubricants, will come to the rescue in such situations. It is advisable to use water-based lubricants, because... oils cause even greater dryness of the vaginal mucous membranes.

1. What symptom? Itching and burning during sexual intercourse or worsening after sex.

What could it be?

Perhaps this is the first alarm bell indicating the presence of a genital tract infection or an inflammatory process.
And if you have recently been bothered by discharge that is discolored, has an unpleasant odor, or causes discomfort, you need to find out the cause of the problem as quickly as possible. This can be either candidiasis (“thrush”), or mycoplasmosis, chlamydia or herpes. How to proceed?
We are planning a trip to the gynecologist and getting treatment.
By the way, after suffering a genital tract infection or surgical interventions, the pain may be affected by the adhesions of the pelvic organs afterwards. If the presence of adhesions interferes with a normal lifestyle, treatment is necessary. We remember!
Genital tract infections should be treated in both partners, and during treatment you should abstain from sexual intercourse altogether.

1. What symptom? Pain on one side of the pelvis or lower abdomen

What could it be?

If pain during sex occurs on one side of the pelvis, most likely an ovarian cyst can be suspected.
Most often they are functional and resolve on their own. If a woman feels pain in the lower abdomen, and sometimes the sexual partner may feel some kind of “restriction,” it is worth thinking about the presence of fibroids. How to proceed?
In case of pain, you should not leave everything to chance; specialist consultation and observation are necessary.

1. What symptom? Constant pain during and after sexual intercourse, which intensifies with deep penetration.

What could it be?

Endometriosis is a disease in which cells of the endometrium (the inner layer of the uterine wall) grow outside this layer.
Serves as a reason to check for the presence of the disease. An additional symptom is bloody discharge from the genital tract, not associated with menstruation. How to proceed?
This disease should not be ignored, as untimely treatment can lead to infertility
.

1. What symptom? Pain during sex after childbirth

What could it be?

After a rupture or incision of the perineum during natural childbirth, a scar forms on the perineum.
Therefore, until complete healing, a woman may be bothered by some pain. How to proceed?
Spouses need to refrain from intimacy until the stitches are completely healed (on average, this takes from 2 to 4 weeks). But remember that if the pain persists for a year after childbirth, the woman must consult a doctor for surgical correction.

1. What symptom? Pain occurs during sex, but according to the results of examination and consultation with a gynecologist, it is not associated with the diseases listed above

What could it be?

Most likely the problem is caused by psychological issues.
Psychological preconditions for dyspareunia are usually associated with a woman’s negative previous sexual experience, dissatisfaction with her current sexual relationship, or simply the woman’s emotional “burnout” and fatigue. The pain during the first sexual intercourse, associated, for example, with the use of violence, is firmly fixed in memory. Because of this, all subsequent attempts at intimacy will also be accompanied by pain. And sometimes a woman cannot get aroused enough because of her own body complex, when she does not feel desired. How to proceed?
It is important not to endure, but to talk about all your experiences with your sexual partner and solve this problem together. Or consult a psychologist. Also, do not forget that painful sexual intercourse can occur when the size of the genital organs does not match, as well as when the partner’s behavior is too active and rude. In this case, I would recommend... talking. Discuss, try and select more comfortable positions in which the discomfort will be absent or less pronounced. I wish all women to remain loved and desired. And remember, the most important thing is that it is better to solve all intimate problems together with your partner and your doctor. Photo: unsplash.com

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Classification of causes and symptoms

Considering the sources of discomfort during sexual intercourse, they can be divided into several large groups:

1. Psychosomatic group. It includes reasons related to fears of various types (fear of being naked in front of a partner, fear of pain, fear of getting pregnant, etc.). This causes both imaginary discomfort and real discomfort, which is caused by compression of the vaginal muscles.
2. Physiological group. It includes sources of symptoms associated with the anatomical discrepancy between the structure of the female and male genital organs.
3. Pathological group. It includes reasons associated with the development of specific diseases and infections in the genitourinary system. These are various inflammatory processes.

In case of discomfort caused by diseases of the internal organs, it is not the only symptom.

Often, there are other manifestations, including:

• discomfort in the groin area, from the back in the kidney area;
• increased urge to urinate;
• feeling of pain and itching syndrome at the time of urination;
• the occurrence of pulsation in the labia during arousal;
• severe menstruation (with severe pain).

If discomfort occurs during penetration of a partner's penis, accompanying symptoms may include:

• “tightness” of the vagina;
• dryness and friction during penis movements;
• a feeling that the penis is pressing somewhere inside the vagina;
• throbbing or cramping in the lower abdomen;
• severe discomfort radiating to the limb.

Other accompanying symptoms include the occurrence of irritation on the skin of the external genitalia (hyperemia, rash), unpleasant discharge (purulent, having an unpleasant odor), swelling in the area of ​​the external genitalia.

CAUSES OF PAIN

● It hurts when inserting the penis. This may be due to vaginal dryness. Typically, a woman's vagina produces a sufficient amount of lubricant during sexual arousal. The walls of the vagina seem to sweat with it. But there are violations of this process, as a result of which there is either little or no lubrication.

● The cause of pain when inserting a penis can also be a too narrow entrance, or vaginismus.

● Pain appears when the penis is already inserted and penetrates deep enough. The cause may be a disease of the bladder or other adjacent organs, including urethritis.

● Pain during deep penetration may be due to size mismatch when the male penis is too long (more than 16 cm). For most men, at maximum erection, the length of the penis is 13–15 cm (from the pubis to the tip of the head).

● Long-term use of the same contraceptive drug can also cause pain.

● Sometimes pain occurs due to emotional problems. This could be a fear of sexual intercourse, or a fear of getting pregnant.

● You should also keep in mind that pain after intercourse and pain during intercourse have different causes, but in either case it is serious and needs to be addressed.

Read about the causes of pain in men and measures to eliminate them in a separate (male) article.

Contact your doctor when...

...pain has become a common occurrence for you; this can lead to dire consequences; so don’t delay going to the gynecologist; ... pain is accompanied by bleeding; ... pain occurs in the depths, with severe pain, or even an increase in temperature after sex; ... pain occurs with the presence of discharge of an unusual color or smell, or the appearance of itching in the vagina ... pain after sexual intercourse does not go away for some time time.

If blood appears during or after sex, the cause may be endometriosis, a disease in which the lining of the uterus grows. Therefore, in this case, it is necessary to undergo a full course of examination by a gynecologist.

Your man should apply lubricant liberally to his clean finger (the fingernail should be cut short!), and gently insert it into the vagina. Lubricant should also be applied to the male penis, and it will enter without problems! But in any case, the man should enter gradually, centimeter by centimeter, without immediately plunging deeply.

It’s good if a man lubricates your vagina, and you apply lubricant to his penis. This method of preparation will be pleasant for both of you.

Never use Vaseline or any creams on your hands or face. Don't use saliva either. Vaseline is sticky and viscous and dries out the skin. Creams may contain substances that irritate the vaginal walls and sensitive skin on the head of the penis. Saliva in a person's mouth is never sterile. So buy a special lubricant for sex at the pharmacy.

In principle, you can do without artificial lubrication. You have probably noticed that the male penis, when excited, also secretes natural lubricant flowing from the urethra. It is much smaller than that of a woman’s vagina, but it is quite enough to easily insert.

Guys, we are never in a hurry. We move the head of the penis along the lips, penetrate a little inside (to the depth of the head), “sway” back and forth as if lubricating the entrance, and slowly, calmly, painlessly enter. It's easy and pleasant for both.

We use the same technique when there is enough female lubrication, that is, always. Slow penetration followed by slow friction and stopping with the penis inside enhances pleasure, both get more pleasure from sex and prolong it.

This measure against female pain is relevant for all men, but especially for those whose penis length exceeds 16 cm. It is measured at maximum erection, from the pubis to the tip of the head.

The vagina is elastic and can stretch, but not indefinitely. When stretched, its wall becomes thinner, which can lead not only to pain, but even to rupture during deep penetration of a very long penis.

And if you consider that at the moment of a man’s orgasm his penis increases in size (about 10%), then being too long can become a serious problem for a woman.

Therefore, men with long penises, we use positions in which it penetrates shallowly, and consult with our woman about how pleasant it is for her and whether it hurts?

And women should never be shy! Tell your man directly that his too-long penis hurts you. He should know about this!

Tips 1. If your man’s penis is long and causes pain, try taking his scrotum in your hands after insertion and gently stroking it. Then he simply won’t be able to penetrate too deeply, and the pleasure men get from such a massage is through the roof.

2. Practice sex in the cowgirl position, facing the man. Then you yourself control the depth of penetration and move in a way that is comfortable and pleasant for you. The main thing is that the man is passive and does not move. Only you.

3. Tell a man that the size of his penis matters, but it's not the length. The pleasure from the effect of a thick sausage, even if not too hard, is much greater than from a long pencil in a glass. Let him “train” the thickness of his penis, not the length

I’ll try to somehow prepare special material, exclusively for men, about methods of such training.

4. Another useful tip for preventing pain. Which? - read here...

Write down your observations and the circumstances under which pain occurs during sex. This will help find the cause of the pain and eliminate it.

The fact is that contraceptive pills can be one of the causes of pain. If you take the same contraceptives for a long time, this can affect the condition of the mucous membrane on the walls of the vagina (it becomes thinner), and as a result, pain during sexual intercourse may appear. act. Talk to your doctor about changing your contraceptive drug.

Get examined by a gynecologist annually. This way you can take the necessary measures in time, because pain during sexual intercourse may be due to infection. It is also important to ensure that the vagina is always clean.

Scars that may remain after childbirth cause discomfort and even pain for both women and men. Therefore, use a fairly large amount of artificial lubricant.

During examination, many gynecologists do not find any abnormalities in the patient, and assure that everything is fine with her, that it’s all about her psychological mood. In this case, look for another doctor and tell him about your observations.

Know about vaginismus

With vaginismus, a persistent spasm of the vaginal opening, insertion of the penis is always accompanied by pain, or it is impossible to insert it at all. We must fight this.

For this, there are special dilators (extenders), or, more simply put, therapeutic dildos the size of a little finger and their gradual enlargement to a normal male penis. This will help relieve spasm and relax, especially if vaginismus occurs due to fear of insertion of the male organ.

Beware of infection

This may be vulvovaginitis (inflammation of the vagina), or urethritis (inflammation of the urethra), or cystitis (inflammation of the bladder). Such infections are usually accompanied by a burning sensation when urinating.

If you have a burning sensation, be sure to go to the doctor and get treatment. But it's better to warn. Keep your genitals clean and do not delay emptying your bladder for too long.

Eat foods rich in fiber and drink water During the active phase of sex, the back wall of the vagina is pressed by the penis against the intestinal wall. If the intestines are clogged with a hard mass, pain may occur.

Therefore, to avoid this, drink enough water, about one and a half to two liters (six to eight glasses) a day. Eat foods that are rich in fiber: fruits, vegetables, whole grain bread, bran. If you do not have constipation, there will be no pain from the fact that the penis rests on the back wall of the vagina. This is one of the measures to eliminate the cause of pain during sexual intercourse.

Use vitamin E. Use it as an external remedy. An oil solution of vitamin E heals dry and inflamed mucous membranes well. Lubricate the vagina using a boiled glass rod. Do this several times a week. Should not be used as a lubricant before sex. Oil is not suitable for this. Read about lubrication above.

Train the LCM. Below there is the so-called pubococcygeus muscle (PCM). It is located between the tailbone (anus) and the genitals. Train it by squeezing and relaxing. Then you can easily relax before sex, and insertion of the penis will not be painful.

Take your time... This especially applies to men. If a woman is sufficiently aroused, her natural lubricant is released better, which facilitates painless insertion of the male penis. In addition, when aroused, the walls of the vagina become more elastic, it lengthens, and accepts a longer penis.

Don't hide from your man. Discuss your sexual problems with him. Report any discomfort or pain. So together you will find both the reasons and ways to eliminate them.

Take care of your mutual love. Positive emotions and mutual affection have a beneficial effect on the quality of sexual life. You will have fewer problems in sex. Irritation, silence, secrecy, and reproach only cause a negative reaction and make it difficult to get closer.

Be healthy. Take care of yourself and your man. Don't shy away from problems and eliminate the causes of pain during sex. Sex should only be a pleasure for both.

Diagnostics

First of all, the doctor collects information about how long ago the symptom occurred, the nature of its manifestation, and the intensity of the pain syndrome.

Next, the external genitalia, vagina, cervix in women and penis in men are examined. Bimanual palpation of the uterus and appendages is also performed.

To clarify the diagnosis, laboratory and instrumental diagnostics are prescribed, which include:

• tests for the presence of sexually transmitted infections: they take a smear from the vaginal environment, conduct a PCR study, which allows identifying colpitis, vulvovaginitis;
• ultrasound examination of organs in the pelvis: allows you to examine the condition of the uterus, ovaries, prostate gland or other organs;
• vulvoscopy and colposcopy: examine the cervix and mucous membranes of the vulva under magnification to identify pathologies;
• hysteroscopy: hardware diagnostics is necessary to detect endometriosis in the uterus;
• laparoscopy: this study reveals adhesions, while simultaneously dissecting them through a puncture of the abdominal region.

Based on the results of the diagnostic measures, a diagnosis is determined and the necessary treatment is prescribed.

Sometimes during lovemaking girls experience unpleasant pain. For what reason does this happen? What to do in such a situation?

Any girl living a sexual life has probably encountered such a problem at least once in her life. And almost fifty percent of the female population of the world constantly experiences discomfort during sex. This group mainly includes ladies over thirty years old. The causes of discomfort can be both psychological and medical reasons.

If you experience pain during sex, then first consult a doctor, get tested and get a consultation with a gynecologist. It is quite possible that you will need to undergo treatment or even undergo surgery. Since pain during sex can be caused by inflammation of the appendages, inflammation of the mucous membranes of the vagina, cervical erosion and many other female diseases.

Do not put off going to the doctor under any circumstances; the sooner you go, the easier it will be to cure you.

If you experience severe pain in your side during sex, this is a sign of ovarian inflammation. Go for an ultrasound, undergo treatment and in a couple of months the pain will disappear. In terms of sex, give preference to those in which you can easily control the depth of entry.

Another cause of discomfort may be fungus. In this case, it is also worth taking tests and taking treatment as prescribed by the doctor. At times, painful sensations indicate thrush. This burning sensation may be due to an allergy to scented pads or your soap.

If you have already given birth, then pain during intercourse may be caused by scars that were formed due to the rupture of the perineum during childbirth. Usually, in women who have given birth, the pain continues for several months until the scars are completely healed. You can massage painful areas to reduce pain.

Every fifth girl experiences discomfort during sex due to insufficient lubrication. This can happen when taking antidepressants. The simplest solution is to use additional commercial lubricants.

There are many other reasons why pain occurs during lovemaking, for example, having sex on menstrual periods or not having orgasms. Only your attending physician can make an accurate diagnosis.

If you want sex, but you are not ready for it, then intimacy may be accompanied by pain. The problem can be solved simply - more caresses and foreplay, and everything will work out for you.

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Ways to eliminate the symptom

Treatment for pain during sex depends on why it occurs. If there is a disturbance in the emotional background and psychological problems, psychotherapeutic sessions are prescribed, gynecological massage and special gymnastics for the pelvic muscular system are required.

In addition, the use of special humidifiers - lubricants will be effective.

If there is an inflammatory process in the genitourinary system, drug and physiotherapeutic treatment is prescribed. Of the drugs, preference is given to antibacterial agents.

If adhesions and scars are present, softening drugs are used in combination with exercise therapy, massage, and physiotherapeutic procedures.

Conclusion

In any case, only a doctor can determine what to do if there is pain during sex. Self-medication does not lead to recovery, but on the contrary, causes additional health problems.