Records and statistics: 10 interesting facts about love

We all like to read statistics on relationships, sex and related problems from time to time. Is it normal that we quarrel? Is it normal that we don't quarrel? On what date should I say this and on what date should I do that?

Research results, sophisticated graphs and diagrams can serve you well. Finding a boyfriend or girlfriend is easier if you understand how the sphere of intergender relations works in general. The data below can help men understand what women really want. What are they looking for? How do you imagine an ideal relationship?

Personal experience is certainly a useful thing. But what if this experience is rather scarce? Or does your “research” always end in failure? There is clearly no point in giving up. Familiarize yourself with the science and use this information to your advantage.

Who will benefit from this article? Everyone. For men and women. Singles and deeply married. Those who have a lot of problems in their relationships, and those whose marriage can only be envied.

“Scientia potentia est” or “Knowledge is power.” So says the now dead language. Don't want your relationship to follow Latin? Read this article.

Relationships in general

In a study in which about a thousand women took part, it was found that 48% of women dream of a romantic man.
26% of women believe in true love.
Only 28% of women believe in love at first sight.
93% prefer that men invite them on dates.
6% of girls take the first step themselves.
83% of men are ready to take the initiative, but 16% prefer to wait for the lady to make the first move.
In a survey of 171 people, it was found that only 18.5% of women said the words “I love you” first.
Among 15,000 respondents, 88% of women admitted that they were extremely devoted to their partners.
57% of men and 51% of women are almost sure that their current relationship is forever.
5% of men and 3% of women are unfaithful to their partners.
51% of women and 61% of men choose relationships over careers.

Among 2,000 respondents, 52% of ladies want to find a man with good manners, 42% want their partner to ask a lot of questions, 26% want the man to pay for the food on a date, 27% want the man to enjoy the food himself, and 17% are not against it, if the counterpart is “slightly drunk.”
Of the 5,000 respondents, 65% of women believe that it is okay to kiss on the first date, and 56% are ready to hug.
Among 2,236 Americans, 25% of women prefer their boyfriend to live alone, and 9% of American women are ready to date a man who shares an apartment with someone.
37% prefer to date someone who owns a home in the suburbs. 54% don't care whether the guy rents the house or owns it. And only 4% prefer to date someone who still lives with their parents.
34% of women would not mind moving in with their partner to save money. But 30% of ladies do not plan to move in together at all.

Relationships between a man and a woman aged 40, 50, 60 years

Is it possible to create relationships after 40-50 years or are acquaintances, meetings, feelings and relationships only for those who are “before”? This question worries everyone in one way or another who is approaching middle age without a reliable constant companion.

Forty years is a special age. It is not for nothing that psychologists, doctors and even esotericists consider him as such. This is the peak of mid-life, when a person seriously thinks about whether he has achieved everything and how to live further. And if the wish list is full of unchecked items, its revision is carried out with special care. Not least on this list is finding true love, which will become a reliable support for the rest of your life, if it has not become the light of youth. After all, all ages are submissive to love, including mature, established people. And many after 40 gain a second youth, feel and look great. After all, it is at this age, despite a serious crisis, that you can realize and realize your true needs.

The premonition of inevitable decline fills a person with anxiety, melancholy, lack of faith in himself, his partner, new happiness, new feelings, and the sincerity of these feelings. A certain amount of negative experience gives rise to all sorts of fears - for example, people who have experienced a partner’s betrayal see every new acquaintance as a potential traitor. And the stereotypes that prevail in society do not work in favor of late love: they say, why and who needs it if the relationship between a man and a woman after 40, 50, 60 years is biologically unproductive.

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Sexual stereotypes also accumulate in abundance: for example, the fear of appearing unattractive in bed, of being left without explanation for a younger partner, the fear of awkwardness, disappointment, deception, and insincerity.

Many people are simply not ready to share their personal space with someone else; they are frightened by the high probability of mismatch of values and differences in everyday habits, when two people are drawn to each other, but understand that compromises will lead to serious discomfort. This may be due to the experience of an unsuccessful marriage, to the disbelief that after the loss of an ideal life partner you can meet someone else, to the habit developed over the years of loneliness to solve all your problems on your own.

It is also important how the adult children, or even grandchildren of one or both partners, relatives and friends will evaluate the new chosen one. But mature people already understand that the child is not their property, and they themselves are not the property of their children, that the opinion of relatives and friends is only their personal view of the situation, and that they can build happiness with their chosen one together.

There are many fears and doubts. But you need to understand that they all live in your past. Now you are a different person, and next to you is not the one who hurt you. Psychology considers relationships between a man and a woman after 45 and 50 years to be more harmonious, thorough and conscious than in youth. In adulthood, people are no longer only able to feel love chemistry, but also see the chosen one for who he is. The wisdom of such relationships is based on extensive life experience. Well, if a marriage is concluded according to convenience - or rather, according to the dictates of reason - it may well be strong and successful.

I am a professional family psychologist with experience in solving problems related to personal relationships. Relationships that start in adulthood can be great if done right. But if you are experiencing difficulties in understanding with your partner, sign up for an individual consultation with me. I conduct consultations in a private office in the center of Moscow and online using Skype.

If fate has brought you together with a pleasant person, communication with whom brings mutual pleasure, but for various reasons you refuse to recognize this as the beginning of a new stage in life and feel an internal contradiction, consult a psychologist. Do this to come to terms with yourself and understand whether this is love, whether you are ready to take another step forward, and if you are ready, then what negative attitudes you need to say goodbye to.

I conduct psychological consultations in the format of a personal meeting in a private office near Tverskaya metro station and via Skype. To make an appointment, leave your personal information in the feedback form or call the number indicated at the top of the site. Communication is strictly confidential and will not be passed on to third parties.

Online dating2

54% of all dating app users are men.
In 2020, 17% of marriages were formed through online dating.
The period from the beginning of a relationship to marriage for couples who met online and those who met offline is 18.5 and 42 months, respectively.
21% of women and 7% of men write a message after a “match”.
93% of women only like profiles if they like the man.
33% of men admit that they like profiles just like that, without much sympathy.
Only 53% of women respond to messages from men.

Signs of a healthy relationship between a man and a woman

Mutual respect, mutual understanding, the desire to dialogue, the desire to find compromises, spiritual unity, common views - all these are signs that a woman and a man are in a healthy relationship.

If, during interaction, a strong attitude arises that you are valued, respected, accepted for who you really are and do not seek to radically change your habits, passions, hobbies, do not criticize or express negative opinions (for example, so that you would not do / did everything badly, needs to be redone) - this speaks of the sanity of each of the partners.

Sometimes people say that the basis of their interaction is love, but in fact, between them there is pity, condemnation of actions, pathological jealousy and the introduction of prohibitions (don’t wear short skirts, don’t go to football with friends).

If a partner is not perceived as a self-sufficient, independent person, if there is no respect for his personal qualities, the relationship cannot be called healthy.

Most often, in relationships between a man and a woman, there is a pathological triangulation of “victim-tyrant-rescuer”, where partners take turns changing these roles and interact only within the framework of this triad. Love in this case manifests itself as dependence, because the tyrant depends on his victim, and the victim on the tyrant.

Marriage statistics3

56% of girls believe that before marriage it is necessary to live together in order to check compatibility in everyday life.
84% of women want a romantic marriage proposal - this is more important to them than an expensive and fashionable ring.
The 2012 Men's Health study surveyed 1,500 men and women, all of whom were married or engaged. 60% of girls said they would like their man to ask for parental blessing before proposing. 32% are sure that proposing without a ring is a very bad idea. 47% of girls believe that a proposal should be unexpected, a surprise. 57% of women want to share a beautiful photo of a ring on Facebook, but only 4% care about the cost and carat size of the ring.

39% of young girls believe that a successful marriage is one of the most important things in life.
48% of men and women believe that a successful marriage is not the most important thing in life.
For 53% of respondents, the most important thing is to have children.
In a survey of women and girls aged 7-21, 46% of respondents called marriage the “gold standard of success.”
In 2010, people began to get married more often - the number of marriages increased by 3.7% and amounted to 241,000.
64% of girls want their husband to earn more than them.
69% of women are ready to stay at home and take care of children if everything is in order with the money at home.

Any healthy relationship between a man and a woman is complex

One of the SGT (Sexual Grounding Therapy) trainers, Helene Löwendahl, wrote a book about relationships and intimacy, Sex, Love and the Dangers of Intimacy.

Talking about this book, Elena clarified that there is a big difference between ordinary conflict relationships and dysfunctional relationships.

We all immediately became interested in this moment and asked for more details.

What do women want?4

What is the meaning of life and what do women want? Anyone who can give a clear answer to these two questions will receive universal recognition and world fame. We’ll think about the meaning of life later, but for now let’s read statistics on what women dream of and what they look for in men.

Twenty-one qualities of an ideal man:

66% of girls find it important that a man gives them a feeling of security.
62% need their partner to trust them completely.
50% want a man to confess his love when he really feels that way.
47% it is important that a man perceives his girlfriend as his equal.
39% need a man to remind a woman that she is beautiful.
38% want their partner to remember birthdays and anniversaries.
33% are convinced - the main thing is that he is not an insecure, boring whiner.
31% want a man to respect their personal space.
28% do not ask for much at all - the main thing is that the man takes out the trash.
25% want him to at least try to get to know her friends better.
24% want him to laugh at their jokes.
23% dream that the guy does not look at others.
22% can be made happy if you regularly bring them coffee.
22% simply want sex more than once a week.

To win the heart of 17% of girls, it is enough to say “You cook better than my mother.”
But you still need to love her mother - 14% think so.
14% are against a guy liking other girls’ photos.
“Don’t leave your car with an empty gas tank!” – 12% ask.
Of the 5,481 men and women surveyed, 84% of women want a guy who treats them with respect, 77% want a man they can trust, 47% prefer a man who shares the same values, and 46% want a man who isn't afraid to communicate about your desires and needs.
Thousands of women were asked the question “What makes a man hot?” The results were as follows: loyalty (84%), thoughtfulness (53%), moral integrity (66%), reliability (75%), kindness (67%), intelligence (53%), fatherhood (51%), passion for to his business (41%), generosity (38%), the ability to please a woman in bed (35%), a good sense of style (30%), a beautiful face (26%).
What about expectations? Ten thousand women have already taken part in this survey. His results: 72% expect a man to open the door, 42% would be surprised if a man doesn’t want to pay the bill, 23% hope a man will pull out a chair for them, 33% want a man to help them with their outerwear. And only 10% expect the man to leave the table after his lady.

lovewhy.ru - how to love and build relationships

- My husband has no ambitions at all! He doesn’t strive anywhere, doesn’t develop. He comes home from work and plays with his son all evening. Or watches the news. Or wants to have sex. It would be better to read something useful or open your own business. His friends are all businessmen, but he still sits on a bare salary.

She is indignant as if at least her life depends on her husband’s ambitions.

— Do you think your husband is happy with his life?

- Of course, I’m pleased. He is always happy with everything, although how can you be happy doing the same thing day after day? How can you be satisfied without increasing your standard of living, your needs are growing all the time! Did I really marry a loser?

“Are you talking about your husband or yourself now?”

***

This rage is ready to pour out on the head of anyone who happens to be nearby. Anyone who is calm and satisfied with the course of their life. A satisfied husband plays hide and seek with the child, they laugh and enjoy closeness. Such a pain. We urgently need to kick him harder because he is not eager to get rich.

A satisfied friend opened her own beauty salon. Another pain. Let's think about the fact that she is just a manicurist obsessed with money. We'll stay away from her, there's nothing to talk about with her.

A former classmate became a coach and conducts trainings for women. Just think, an achievement - no husband, no children, what does she understand about women's happiness?

A satisfied psychologist also quickly begins to infuriate. The questions are stupid, the office is tasteless, it’s a long way to get to...

But this trick doesn’t work, no matter how hard you try. Depreciate - don’t devalue - your pain does not become less.

At some point, my client falls silent (after another of my stupid questions) and begins to talk about envy.

About envy of my husband, who knows how to take his time and be happy in the moment, about envy of friends who are not afraid to take risks and try new things, about envy of me - because everything is definitely going wrong for me.

And behind this envy there is so much desire to be noticed, recognized, valuable, successful.

There are so many demands on yourself - “you must”, “you are lazy”, “you will become better than all of them”.

There is so much paralyzing fear of not meeting your own expectations and ultimately being punished for it - rejected, betrayed, devalued. People? No, first of all by yourself.

It is much more difficult to experience this truth than to lament the imperfections of loved ones year after year. But if you have the courage not to run away, this first meeting with your feelings can be the beginning of a completely different relationship with yourself and with the world.

Ekaterina Lapkina

In contact with

LiveJournal

Assemble the puzzle5

What about the most attractive parts of a man's body?

Here everything is as follows:

11% look at beautiful eyes, 39% cannot take their eyes off a man’s buttocks, 13% enjoy the look of a flat stomach, and 3% admire a man’s neck.
Of the 108 women surveyed, 24% are attracted to a guy’s handsome tanned arms, 19% are attracted to broad shoulders, 18% are attracted to a sexy back, 15% are crazy about a guy with a handsome v-cut (muscle area from the abdomen to the groin), 9% are attracted to abs, 7 % – buttocks of a man, 5% – muscular legs and 2% – chest of a man.

Money7

In a study of 28,000 heterosexuals, 97% of women thought it was important to have a partner who had a stable income, and 69% said it was important to have a partner who earned or would earn a lot of money.

Married women took part in this study. They were asked what made their husbands especially attractive. The answers were: ability to openly discuss financial issues (73%), financial responsibility (93%), timely payment of bills (91%), ability to plan a budget (75%).
64% prefer to find a husband who will earn more than his wife.
For 29% of girls, a rich partner is an indicator of status.

What do girls like in guys?8

91% like clean-shaven men.
74% of men who receive right swipes (likes) on Tinder do not have excess facial hair.
Out of 100,000 Americans, clean-shaven guys received 37% more swipes than their bearded competitors.
Of the nearly 10,000 women surveyed, only 8% prefer men with full beards, 45% prefer men with facial stubble and 47% prefer men with clean-shaven faces.
For 5% of girls, a guy's height is very important.
73% of women prefer partners taller than 178 cm.
48.9% of girls want to date a guy much taller than them.

Of the 382 college students surveyed, only about 4% of women would date shorter men.
49% of girls prefer tall guys because they make them feel more feminine and protected.
Of the 131 women surveyed in a related study, 55% of women preferred taller men.
63% of women are sure that tall height makes a man sexier.
71% of women say the sexiest height for a man is between six feet and six feet six inches. That is, from 182 to 200 cm.
Out of 5,841 respondents, 58% of girls want a guy who makes them laugh.
42.9% of women are willing to give their phone number to a guy who will win them over with his sense of humor.
Guys without a sense of humor get turned down 84.6% of the time.

Our little brothers11

Men walking their dogs are three times more likely to receive phone numbers than men walking alone in the park. The weaker sex also tends to judge a man by how he treats his pet. Moreover, men with pets seem more attractive to girls.

Gifts12

Jewelry is a great idea. But what kind of thing should you present to your beloved? 42% prefer jewelry for the neck, 30% love earrings, 14% would not mind getting a beautiful bracelet, and rings that do not promise engagement will please only 12%.
Among 10,000 respondents, 11% want jewelry, and 2% dream of beautiful lingerie.
Of the 150 women surveyed, about 30.1% said they wanted perfume, 17.8% wanted an expensive face cream or serum, 16.6% wanted body lotion and 15.3% wanted bath products.
80% of respondents (boys and girls) want to receive at least some gift for Valentine's Day.
57% of girls dream of dinner at a restaurant, 48% want sex, and 47% would not refuse a bouquet of flowers and chocolate or a gift card.
81% of girls dream of receiving a romantic trip as a gift, but 5% would like a game console.
As for clothing, 27% want underwear, 24% want a sweater, 24% want pajamas, 12% would like a pair of good sneakers, and 4% prefer hats and gloves.

Of the 150 women surveyed, a total of 46.3% wanted framed artwork, 39% wanted a book, 54.5% wanted plane tickets, 19.4% wanted concert tickets, 12.1% wanted a spa for couples, 12.1% - restaurant reservations, 6.9% - records, 4.3% - a subscription to their favorite magazine, 3.7% - a full set of their favorite shows, and 1.8% - an educational seminar they could attend go together.

How to develop family relationships

If a wife becomes her husband's shadow and lives by his interests, she loses his respect and self-confidence. A man is also not always uncomfortable “under the heel” of a woman. If you reconstruct the interaction model, you can find harmony. The main components of a happy life together:

novelty;
emotions;
respect for one's own and others' interests;
right to personal space.

Effective psychology of relationships between a man and a woman can be built according to 2 scenarios.

Partnership

People learn to negotiate and honestly fulfill their part of the obligations. The difficulty is that in our mentality we tend to rely more on feelings than on logic. If, besides sex, people find other points of contact, they will be able to come to an agreement.

Commonwealth

This relationship format is more complex than the previous one. People focus not on agreement, but on joint achievement of common goals. Today this is the best option for interaction in marriage, business, and raising children.

Commonwealth

First there is a meeting from which everything begins. This is strong mutual sympathy, falling in love and the desire to be together. This time is often called “bouquet and candy time”. The future spouses are still young, full of passion and pleasant expectations.
After a short period of time (maximum a year), already being married (in most cases), everything changes. Young people take off their rose-colored glasses. And they see their partner, so to speak, without makeup. He or she turns out to be not so mysterious after all. And the grinding process begins.
Next is the period of achievements. When the relationship between a man and a woman in marriage undergoes the toughest test. Spouses stop wasting time on mutual reproaches. They direct most of their efforts towards self-realization.
If you managed to overcome the previous stage of the relationship, then the realization of happiness begins. This time is filled with energy and is similar to the initial stage. Only in that period did passion and desire prevail. And here the spiritual connection and understanding of the inextricability of relationships intensifies.

Now about the features of each stage separately. And how psychology characterizes the relationship between a man and a woman in marriage at each of these stages.

After mutual passions have subsided, the time comes for a slight sobering up. Mutual Feelings are still quite strong. But the spouses begin to distinguish a living person in each other instead of a fictitious ideal. It's already time for the first tests:

firstly, children appear in many families, and the question of the need to take responsibility for another life arises sharply;
secondly, it is necessary to run a common household, which means it is necessary to share powers;
thirdly, almost everyone already works and we need to learn how to allocate time for both work and family.

What is the peculiarity of the psychology of relations between a man and a woman in marriage during this period? And what should you consider?

Work, household chores and caring for small children take up a lot of time. It seems like there is only time left for sleep. But it is important to continue communicating with your soul mate. During this period, supporting each other is especially important for both.
Due to the division of powers to serve the family, there will be many quarrels and disagreements. This is a natural process in every new family. Try not to show strong emotions (especially men) because everyday issues will be adjusted over time. It's more important to preserve your feelings.

How to impress a woman?14

Men who can tell interesting stories are 29% more attractive to women.
23% are crazy about men who cook well and keep the house clean.
45% of girls surveyed have a weakness for men who can play the guitar.
33% of guys figured out this trick and tried to learn how to play specifically in order to charm the ladies.
Athletes are beyond competition. 76% of girls are delighted with athletes.

But this is not necessary15

What do both boys and girls hate? The anti-top conceals details regarding the overall budget. This infuriates both sexes.

What about girls? 87% of women lose all interest in a man if he smells bad on the first date. Girls also avoid lazy, boring whiners with no sense of humor.

PS Yes, everyone is different. Yes, the statistics are wrong. Yes, someone could have lied in the survey. Well, how boring you are! Scientists worked hard for you, collected information by the sweat of their brow, and you! Read and remember.

Love as a reward

Well, here comes the stage of realizing oneself as an accomplished family man. This is the finish line on the journey to happiness. By the way, many do not reach this straight line. Some people lack the energy to overcome difficulties, while others lack the understanding not to do stupid things.

Features of this life stage:

children grew up and left the family in search of their own happiness;
career growth and business success have reached their highest point;
family welfare is maximized;
The spouses have a lot of free time.

The habit of overcoming difficulties and mutual claims together strengthens the feeling of love for your soul mate and makes such a union inseparable. And, as a result, tenderness and affection for each other are increasingly manifested in words and actions.