7 signs of an “old maid” that men notice in a woman: news, women, relationships, age, girls, love, psychology, love and family

Despite the fact that various prejudices regarding the subordinate position of women have almost become obsolete, girls who did not start a family until a certain age are still called old maids. And the context of this nickname is not the most pleasant. This seems to be some kind of inferiority, a girl’s unsuitability for the role of a wife. But what does this really mean, is it so scary?

We’ll talk about the psychology of an “old maid”, at what age women are considered such, and also how to live with this “stigma” in our article!

What is this concept, the main features

Many girls wonder: “an old maid” - who is this and at what age can you consider yourself one? Previously, this was the name given to girls who did not get married (retained their virginity) before the age of 25

Married women showed pity for her

, since only a widower could marry her, otherwise she would have to remain a hanger-on for the rest of her life.

Now this term is used to refer to those who have not acquired a husband and children by the age of 30-35.

Although an old maid may have quite a rich sexual experience, people care little about this. Unmarried people are still stigmatized with this not very pleasant concept.

Many girls are so afraid of this stigma that they try at all costs to get married before a certain age, and the question of happiness in such a marriage interests them little. But an old maid can also be one who has a marriage, children, and intense sexual experience. Psychology plays a role here, since it is like a diagnosis that must be fought if you want to find happiness in your personal life.

Age in this case is not the main thing.

It’s unlikely that anyone would call a stylish and confident 40-year-old businesswoman that name. And physiology does not play a significant role. Some girls lose their virginity very late, but there are no associations with this concept.

The old maid syndrome is expressed in the manner of behavior, communication, and attitude towards others. Usually these women are sarcastic and love to make fun of everything, especially the male sex.

They like to predict various misfortunes in their personal lives to women they know.

, and then gloat when the predictions accidentally come true. They are also usually interested in the sexual side of life.

Spinster

It’s interesting that prejudices about the subordinate position of women have practically become obsolete, but to this day girls who did not get married before a certain age (who did not have a close or long-term relationship with a man) are considered old maids. And this nickname is by no means honorable; people see in this not purity and purity, but the girl’s inferiority and her unsuitability for family life. Is it really that scary to be an old maid?

Who are old maids?

Previously, a girl who did not marry (and therefore retained physiological virginity) until the age of 25 was considered an old maid. All married women pitied her, because only a widower could take such a wife, and so the girl had to while away her life as a hanger-on. Today, old maids are those who did not manage to get married and have children by the age of 30-35. It is curious that now someone who has had many sexual partners can be called an old maid, that is, society is of little concern to the physiological side of the issue. But unmarried ladies are still condemned by many and branded with an offensive nickname. That’s why girls think about how not to remain an old maid, and try to drag their boyfriends to the registry office. There are even some people who are going to stay married for up to 30 years at any cost. Even if the relationship doesn’t work out, and you’ll have to go through a divorce in a few years (or even months), you still get to wear the ring on your finger. It’s good that there are few such victims of public opinion, because you can be an old maid even if you have a rich sex life, and have been married, and given birth to a couple of children. It's all about the psychology of an old maid; this is a kind of diagnosis, a disease that needs to be fought if the desire to create a happy family has not disappeared.

Psychology of old maids

The age at which an unmarried girl is considered an old maid is difficult to name, because it is not the defining characteristic. It is unlikely that anyone would dare call a well-groomed, stylish business woman of 40-45 years old an old maid. And it’s not even a matter of physiology - many girls who part with their virginity late do not at all evoke associations with the image of an old maid. It's all about the character, the lifestyle of such a woman, there is even the so-called old maid syndrome. It is expressed in a special attitude towards others, in the manner of communication. Such ladies are usually excessively sarcastic, ridiculing everything they can, especially men. They love to predict the unhappy ending of relationships to their friends and acquaintances and gloat when their predictions come true. Old maids are extremely interested in the sexual aspect of life. There are two possible options here: either a woman constantly talks about the decline of morals, talks about the pornography that has filled screens, the Internet and magazines, or she behaves like a sex guru, trying to give her married acquaintances advice on this matter, having gained knowledge from women's publications.

How not to remain an old maid?

If you are overly susceptible to public opinion and sincerely believe that by the age of 30 you definitely need to get married, then you have only one way - to continue searching for a candidate for the role of a husband. And having found him, drag the fan to the registry office by any means. To gain self-confidence and combat complexes, you can contact a specialist.

If you don’t consider yourself defective due to the lack of a permanent partner, then you don’t need any of this. True, it is worth periodically checking yourself for signs of an old maid in order to burn them out with a hot iron. You don't want to turn into an unkempt grump, do you? Therefore, do not forget to monitor your appearance and the way you communicate with others. And don’t be afraid to flirt with the opposite sex - such a game won’t hurt you, even if it doesn’t develop into a romance.

Why do they become them?

The reason why a girl cannot have a relationship while remaining an “old maid” may be deeper than it seems.

Psychology explains this by the following factors:

May be vaccinated in childhood or be a consequence of negative experience;

personal psychological trauma, bad memories that prevent you from giving yourself a chance at happiness;
openly expressed hostility towards men;

excessive demands on men. Many ladies come up with their own ideal, endowing it with the best qualities.

They don’t want to lower the bar, but meeting such a “prince” in reality is quite difficult, hence the loneliness;

A common cause of loneliness is dislike, a negative attitude towards oneself. This can be corrected, but in the absence of such work on oneself, the chances of remaining lonely are very high;

There are women who consciously refuse relationships. They are happy alone, and their image does not fit in with the concept of an “old maid”.

Sometimes the reasons are less deep and lie on the surface.

For example, a girl does not have time to arrange her personal life or she does not know how to present herself correctly and be attractive.

It is important to understand the reason that makes a lady an “old maid” and work to eliminate it.

Why do women want to remain spinsters (the answers have not changed in 100 years) bookmark 2

In good old England, society felt the greatest pity for old maids. This concept included unmarried women over thirty years of age.

There were many of them: the disproportionate demographic situation was aggravated by the fact that potential suitors were leaving to build a career and earn money in the colony. So the competition was very intense.

And yet there were women who not only accepted the fact that it was not their destiny to get married, but also consciously chose such a destiny.

In 1889, Tit-Bits magazine asked its single readers: “Why did you decide to choose the fate of an old maid?” and offered a prize for the best answer. Here are the most interesting of the proposed versions:

1) “Getting married is like getting on a sleigh and sliding down: you are heading towards an inevitable end, no matter how bumpy the road is” (Miss Laura Bax, 29 years old).

2) “I am like a wild mustang, an inhabitant of the prairies, who rushes unhindered, throwing back his head, with contempt for the lasso, which, once on his neck, will make him a prisoner.

I prefer to walk along a cliff - in freedom, but with the eternal fear of being captured. It’s better than letting someone throw a marital lasso over you” (Miss Sarah Kennerley).

3) “Because there are other professions available to me - ones that take less time, bring more pleasure and pay much better” (Miss Florence Watts, 29).

4) “I am like a rare porcelain vessel: I am fragile, easy to break, but very difficult to glue” (Miss Roberts).

5) “Why did I decide to remain an old maid? You can answer with words from the work “The Taming of the Shrew”:

“Bianca Believe me, sister, among all the men I have never met anyone who I would prefer” (Miss Lizzie Moore, 12 years old).

6) “Because I'm not interested in adding another specimen to my menagerie.

I think that a man is less obedient than a dog, less affectionate than a cat, and less funny than a monkey” (Miss Sparrow, 9 years old).

7) “John, my lover, was replaced by his employer with a girl who did the same amount of work for half the amount he received.

John could not maintain the house, so he went abroad. So I remained an old maid” (Miss Jones, 32).

Another interesting fact: if a girl did not get married after 26 years, she received the nickname thornback!

This was the name given to ladies who were too picky.

Which of the reasons voiced by the girls seemed most convincing to you?

About the syndrome

“Old Maid Syndrome” is not just the absence of a husband.

This is a peculiar state of mind, a block that prevents you from building relationships. At the same time, a woman may be satisfied with the state of things. It is characterized by constant discussion of others, an ironic attitude towards men, and bad forecasts regarding the personal lives of acquaintances.

Characteristic symptoms of this condition

- this is reduced sensuality, emotionality, and a frequent feeling of one’s own “uselessness.”

In the future, this can lead to constant stress, loss of interest in life, total loneliness and even gynecological problems. In this condition, working with a psychologist is recommended.

A very small number of women are satisfied with the position of “old maid”.

In order not to become one or to avoid this status, when all the prerequisites for it are present, it is recommended to pay attention to the following recommendations:

Look at yourself from the outside, evaluate yourself adequately. Look at your appearance, behavior, facial expression. Perhaps you need to change something in yourself;
control your mood. Try to forget about emotions such as anger, anger, irritability. Smile more - you will also receive smiles in return;
if there are problems or internal dissatisfaction, try not to show it in public;
use coquetry. But don't confuse it with obsession;
You shouldn’t perceive every man you meet as a potential husband. Try to be simpler, enjoy communication;
You shouldn’t be afraid to start and build relationships. Everyone makes mistakes, but they should not become the cause of complexes. This is experience, it needs to be accepted, analyzed and used;
You shouldn’t label yourself as an old maid. You are just a free woman. The world has almost gotten rid of prejudices. Many people find their happiness at a fairly late age;
There is no need to focus only on relationships. This is only part of life, not all of it. Let your life be interesting and rich, regardless of the absence or presence of a man in it;
A common mistake that girls make when they are careful not to remain “girls” is marriage for the sake of marriage. Society can put pressure in this regard, but marrying a person you don’t love in order to look right in the eyes of others is obviously a stupid idea. It is unlikely that you will be happy.

You will learn about who “old maids” are and at what age women can be considered such, from this video clip.

Women who were unlucky enough to fall into the category of “old maids” were considered flawed and in some ways even unworthy in Rus'. They usually tried to get their daughter married early, at the age of 12-15. If she “stayed too long as a girl” until she was 19-20 years old, her chances of marriage quickly evaporated. A couple more years passed, and the unfortunate woman received the stigma of “old maid.”

The secret of the terrible character of “old maids” has been revealed

The concept of “old maid” has long and quite justifiably acquired a connotation of abuse. After all, most of these women are quite difficult to get along with - and that's just putting it mildly. Few people want to communicate with old maids and no one wants to become one. But let's analyze in more detail: what kind of phenomenon is this?

Traditionally, a virgin in years is called an old maid. In ancient times - from about thirty years old, now - more likely after forty. But I believe that there is no fundamental difference between a virgin and a chronically dissatisfied single woman who once upon a time had sex. So I will call both of them old maids. Where do these come from?

The first source of spinsters is inadequate upbringing and socialization problems, leading to excessive romanticism and unhealthy emotional vulnerability. In general, girls with an abundance of cockroaches in their heads are prime candidates for becoming old maids. This also includes “ideological” virgins, waiting for “their one and only.”

The second category is women who seek to sell themselves at a higher price. They may be virgins if their bitchiness developed at an early age, or not virgins if they became frenzied already in adolescence, writes Woman2Woman.

There is a famous joke about a hen who is running away from a rooster and keeps thinking: “Am I running too fast? What if it doesn’t catch up?” So, women of the second category are those chickens that run too fast. They do not understand that the speed of running (for the slow-witted - I mean picky about the “quality” of men) should correspond to their own attractiveness.

So, we figured out the reasons for the occurrence. Now we need to understand where bad character comes from. As we have already determined, it was partly the cause of the problem, but long-term dissatisfaction further and greatly worsens it.

Firstly, any woman needs emotions from communicating with men and a feeling of being needed by the opposite sex. This is necessary even for those women who stubbornly do not admit it. Meanwhile, a man will not communicate with you if there is no hope for sex. And if there is such hope, then he will only pursue a woman if she is really good. At the same time, the attractiveness of a woman for each specific man strongly depends on how much she is in demand for other men. In short, without communicating with men, a woman becomes naughty, men like her even less and becomes even more naughty. And vice versa - if a woman nevertheless finds someone who appreciates her bitchiness, other men suddenly begin to like her, and this is a good chance to soften her character.

But communication alone is not enough, you need sex. Probably everyone already knows the history of the vibrator - initially it was a medical device for the treatment of female hysteria, hypochondria and other nerve problems. Accordingly, the lack of sex greatly spoils the mood of any woman.

And finally, one more question that worries many women: how can you understand that you are turning into an old maid and take action in time? Yes, it’s elementary: if you communicate little with men, set high demands on them, can’t choose the right one from the available ones, are prone to nervous breakdowns and bouts of bad mood – you’ve already gone downhill.

How to fix? Don't look at every man as a potential husband. Enjoy “average” men and look for better options. Let me remind you again: if you are in demand, your chances of attracting a good man are much higher. And one of your “average people” can, with a gentle attitude, suddenly grow to a very good level.

Haven't you subscribed to our Telegram yet? Press quickly!

Offensive nicknames

Old maids in Rus' were disparagingly called “vekovukhas” (from the phrase “century to age”) or “unsung hair.” The last phrase comes from the tradition of wearing a married woman’s headscarf to the bride at a wedding. The women present during the ceremony sang songs that the girlish age was over, and now the newlyweds would face family joys and sorrows. For obvious reasons, such songs were not sung to old maids. Hence the “unsung hair.” Never-married bachelors at a very advanced age were also pejoratively called “gray tops.” According to tradition, they did not have the right to wear hats and scarves, which were reserved only for married women. Naturally, the girl had to walk bareheaded until she was very old, and her gray hair was visible to everyone.

Taboo on certain clothes

Vekovukhi did not have the right to wear not only scarves, kichkas and other traditional headdresses of “babas” (that is, married women). They were generally prohibited from wearing any attire that was not according to their status. The old maid had to wear girlish sundresses, skirts and shirts, but only in dark shades. She was also not allowed to decorate herself in any way. Ribbons in their hair, earrings and beads were worn by young unmarried girls to attract suitors. It was believed that the age-old woman no longer needed this, and therefore it was not decent to decorate herself. As a result, the woman, already offended by fate, looked like a widow or an old hermit.

Position in society

Here the old maid had a very hard time. Young girls did not take her into their company, as if they were afraid of becoming infected with unhappiness and loneliness. And in terms of age, the “overaged” girl was clearly not suitable for communicating with young people. She could not go on dates, meet 14-16 year old boys, or participate in the fun of young people. There were no general topics for conversation. In the same way, the old maid did not fit into the group of married women. She “did not know life”: she did not live with her husband, did not give birth to children, does not know the hardships of family life. Experienced married women did not allow centuries-old women into their society. In fact, she was an outcast everywhere. Such a deplorable situation for old maids in Rus' was dictated by traditional peasant morality. In Russian society, the main role of a woman was to bear children. If a married woman was unable to give birth to at least one baby, she was disparagingly called “barren flower.” The old maid did not even get a chance to fulfill her main mission; she did not get married. This means there is some kind of defect in her. They tried to avoid such a woman and periodically humiliated her with various contemptuous statements. They said that she was “neither this nor that”, “like a magpie on a birch tree - she just sits and sits.”

Old maid: fate or diagnosis? How can she not stay?

An old maid is a woman who remains a virgin her entire life. This is the main meaning of this stable phrase. But it's much deeper. An old maid is not so much about age and lack of sexual relations with men, but rather a state of mind, a character. And is it even possible to determine the age limit after which a virgin automatically becomes an old maid? 40 years? Or 30? Or even 25? There are girls who call themselves that even at 20. But that's a completely different story.

In my opinion, being married is as natural for a woman as being married is for a man. However, today “being married” is still not quite the correct wording. Nowadays there are few women who are truly “behind their husbands”. There are many more simply “married”.

In my opinion, no one is originally created for loneliness. It's no secret that love is the basis of life, or even life itself. Without love, life on earth would simply cease... So why is love not given to everyone?

Who usually becomes an old maid? Oddly enough, but often good girls become old maids. Diligent, obedient, excellent students and medal winners. And also girls who were raised in the spirit of Turgenev’s girls, instilling in them from childhood that the main thing is spiritual and physical purity.

Maximalists also become old maids, whose motto is “better alone than with just anyone.” In childhood, parents did not explain to such girls that all people have their own merits and demerits and that only a person who has mastered the art of diplomacy, is ready to compromise and knows how to understand himself and others can be happy.

Creating the image of an ideal man, waiting for a prince, has ruined not a single girl’s life.

Her own mother can turn a girl into an old maid if she hates the entire male race and constantly tells her daughter that all men want only one thing from her, that they are all goats and bastards...

An authoritarian mother also deprives her daughter of the opportunity to meet a loved one and get married. She demands constant attention, suggesting that she gave her life and put her life into her upbringing - she sacrificed herself, so to speak, and now demands a return sacrifice.

Often, old maids are the only daughters in the family, whom their parents cared for and cherished, but did not teach them to be independent. Until old age, they remain little girls, often helpless in everyday life, but consider it shameful to turn to someone for help, and they are also afraid to take responsibility for someone. Such elderly and not so virgins do not even want to have a kitten, citing the fact that it requires care and attention...

An almost 100% candidate for becoming an old maid is a girl who is constantly dissatisfied with herself and the world around her.

It also happens that a girl has fans in her youth. But she simply cannot choose the best of them, she goes through candidates, plays for time and is gradually deprived of her freedom of choice, since men, tired of waiting, marry others.

Inflated self-esteem and unfounded claims are just as destructive to a woman’s happiness as low self-esteem, lack of confidence in oneself and one’s attractiveness.

By the way, very attractive people often become old maids. While some gray mouse can be happily married and bathe in male love.

Is it good or bad to be an old maid? Most, of course, will say that there is nothing good about this. And it’s worth remaining an old maid only if the girl has decided to devote herself to serving God or if “old maid” is a state of mind.

Science believes that being without a man for a woman is harmful to mental and physical health. Full sex heals nerves, helping you relax, relieve stress, have fun and feel desired and loved. Scientists claim that male sperm contains many biological substances that help a woman remain young and physically healthy for a long time.

How can you break the vicious circle if you don’t want to be an old maid at all? What can you do yourself and right now?

- Do not consider the hymen to be something priceless. No man will be bothered by her absence if the girl is no longer 20 years old...

- Change the image. Realize yourself as an attractive woman who wants to give and receive love. Pay more attention to your appearance, choose more affordable clothes, getting rid of formal suits and hairstyles.

- Don’t refuse an offer to go somewhere. Accept invitations to parties and not sit there quietly in a corner, but communicate, maintaining a conversation.

- Do not emphasize in the company that you are smarter, more capable and cooler than any man. Don’t boast that you yourself are capable of hanging shelves, fixing a faucet, or changing a tire. Don’t be either a preacher of feminism or a saint who condemns everyone around you.

- Show initiative - invite a man to a white dance or simply smile at him, send him a friendly, interested look.

- Be simpler, more accessible in communication, make new friends, girlfriends. Don't sit at home all the time. Visit small cafes more often, where you can drink a cup of coffee, eat a cake and let others know that you are open to meeting people.

— Join a club of similar interests , where there are most men. There is no shame in looking for a man. This is a natural following of the call of nature. The Internet, dating through an ad in a newspaper, turning to a matchmaker are also options that should not be discarded.

— Ask your family, friends, acquaintances to introduce you to a positive man. Many famous women did this in their time and were happily married.

The main thing is to decide for yourself that you are ready for falling in love, love and marriage and do everything in your power to achieve this, then life will certainly appreciate your efforts and meet you halfway.

Family situation

Among her relatives, the old maid was also not in the best position. She had no right to live in her own home. Fellow villagers could suspect him of immoral behavior. And it was difficult to cope with housekeeping with one pair of hands. Vekovukha had to live with her parents, who could sometimes reproach her even with a piece of bread. After the death of her father and mother, the maiden went to live as a hanger-on in the house of her older brother. She was not entitled to any entertainment or joy. An unmarried woman had to work a lot in the field, in the barn, and at the stove. Often the upbringing and washing of her numerous nephews fell on her shoulders. Only certain traits of her character could improve the position of the woman in the house. If a woman turned out to be weak-willed, humble and, moreover, not distinguished by good health, her fate was unenviable. Anyone who felt like it could humiliate and reproach her. A strong-willed and economical maiden could well “put her young daughter-in-law in her place and become a more respected member of the family. By caring for her elderly parents and managing the entire household, she also received a higher status. Such women were popularly called “big women,” that is, elders. They were treated quite respectfully.

Rituals and signs

The unenviable female lot of the vekovukha imposed a number of restrictions on her role in the ritual life of society. Old maids were not supposed to participate in folk festivities, sing, dance, cook food for a wedding, or bake bread for their family. They were not allowed into the field on the first day of the harvest, so as not to jinx the harvest. The presence of an overaged girl during the birth of a woman or the calving of a cow was also a bad omen. The “empty” life of a virgin seemed so abnormal to the Russian people that this unfortunate woman was accused of all sins, practically equating her to a witch. Fellow villagers believed that the vekovukha was capable of turning into a beggar and then begging for alms from churches and cemeteries. They even believed that an old maid could cohabit with the Evil One and cast magic. To protect themselves from the spell of the century, the hut was fumigated with incense, the bed was sprinkled with poppy seeds or sprinkled with holy water. The woman herself often guessed this. Sometimes a protective amulet was specially put on her - a belt sewn from a priest's robe. In such an environment of superstitions, fears and poorly concealed contempt, the old maid lived her life.

Who are old maids?

Psychology of old maids

How not to remain an old maid?

A girl over 20, young by today's standards, who only dreams of a wedding, in Rus' was considered useless to anyone. If a woman failed to get married on time, she received the stigma of being an “old maid,” and with it social isolation. After the death of her parents, she entered the house of her older brother and became a hanger-on, a free servant.

It was in such conditions that we had to live out our lives.

Where did the ugly nickname “unsung hair” come from?

Artist K. Makovsky. Matchmaker./Photo: art-catalog.ru

In Rus', girls were married off as early as possible. Twelve to fifteen year old brides were common. Today these are middle school students, but before they were brides capable of becoming a good wife and mother. There was an opinion that a very young girl would obey her husband in everything, work honestly, and take care of children. In other words, the younger you are, the more flexible you are.

At the age of 18-20, parents still had a chance to marry off their daughter, who had spent too much time as a wench, but if this did not happen for several years, the terrible stigma of “old maid” was stuck to the woman forever. It is known that in Rus' such women were called vekovukhas, and the nickname arose from the phrase “vekat vek” (vekova vekov). But there is another strange nickname for old maids - “unsung hair”.

According to Russian tradition, before the wedding, the young bride put on a scarf that belonged to the married woman. At the same time, the bridesmaids sang plaintive songs about the end of the girlhood, about the family sorrows that now await the girl. Such songs were never performed for old maids, and in such a situation their hair was not covered with a scarf. That's where the nickname came from.

The old maid was not allowed to wear a scarf or any headdress that married women wore. They walked with their heads uncovered. The older the old maid got, the more gray hair she had, so another derogatory nickname “gray top” circulated throughout Rus'.

Neither girls nor women - where should an old maid go?

Artist K. Makovsky. Boyar wedding./Photo: dreams.xtarot.com

How did society treat old maids anyway? It was all very sad. Young girls avoided the centuries-old women, believing in the superstition that they could cause loneliness and never get married. But the age of old maids or overage was also not particularly suitable for youth parties. What did she have to talk about with the young people, what was the point of participating in fun games?

The married women remained. But they were not eager to communicate with the centuries. After all, they weren’t married, they didn’t have children, and they weren’t able to understand family relationships. Why does a married woman need such a friend? So the “gray tops” became peculiar outcasts of society. Having not realized themselves as a woman - having not gotten married and not given birth to a child, the old maids were not just “empty flowers,” as they called those who were married, but without children, but in general it is not clear who. They said about them “neither be nor me”, “neither this nor that.”

Called “unsung hair,” the vekovukha had no right to wear headdresses intended for married women. She needed to dress in accordance with her unenviable position. And if cheerful young girls could afford bright colors and styles, then the old maid put on things of a dark, discreet color that completely hid her figure.

Such women could not even think about jewelry. Century? I couldn’t get married like all normal girls - then there’s no point in decorating myself, it’s not appropriate for an old girl who is useless to anyone. Beautiful earrings and beads, hair ribbons, bracelets - all these cute accessories were left to young unmarried girls who were in the process of finding a groom. So the old maids walked around, in dark clothes, with their hair braided and without jewelry, trying not to attract attention to themselves.

Almost a witch or devil's mistress

Young girls were in a hurry to get married so as not to remain an old maid. Artist K. Makovsky. To the crown./Photo: smallbay.ru

Not only did society not particularly like old maids, but also various signs and rituals made their life, which was already not sweet, harder. Fearing the evil influence of the centuries, overage women were not allowed to do basic things, for example, bake bread, fry and steam for a wedding dinner, take part in festivities, dance and sing. They were forbidden to appear in the field on the first day of the harvest, so as not to damage the future harvest. Vekovukha was not allowed to be present at the birth. They were also not allowed to see animals giving birth - calves or sheep were not allowed.

A kind of social terror led to the fact that old maids became embittered people who hated everything and everyone. And from here came the opposite reaction - they tried to blame them for all the unpleasant events, they called them witches. They said that the ancient woman could be able to cast spells and cause damage. And they even attributed to her sexual relations with evil spirits, with which she allegedly compensated for the lack of male affection. They tried to protect themselves from the old maid. The bed could be sprinkled with poppy seeds or sprinkled with holy water, the hut where she lived could be fumigated with incense.

Particularly humiliating was the custom of putting a special amulet on an unfortunate woman that protected her from witchcraft. It was a belt made from a priest's robe.

If you want respect, become big

Where could the old maid go? It was unrealistic to build your own house and live in it - and you wouldn’t have the strength to do it alone, and there would be endless gossip about who the lonely maiden received in this house. Most often, the old woman stayed with her parents, who fed, watered and tolerated their daughter. But they are not eternal, and after their departure the old maid came into the possession of her elder brother, became a hanger-on and was used as free labor. Doing laundry, caring for nephews, working in the barn, in the field, and so on. I had to forget about entertainment and fun forever.

There were, of course, virgins who managed to correct the situation. But for this it was necessary to have an iron character, ingenuity, excellent health and remarkable economic abilities. If this happened, then the woman of the century could gain respect in the family. She took the reins of the household into her own hands, cared for her elderly parents, and thus increased her social status. These women were called “big women”, they were not mocked, they did not tolerate humiliation, they were not reproached with a piece of bread. However, these are rare cases. Most often, the old maid was a downtrodden and silent creature, since mostly girls who were ugly and in poor health did not marry. It was almost impossible for such people to break into the big girls.

https://www.fresher.ru/2018/11/03/kak-zhilos-starym-devam-na-rusi/

This is a copy of the article located at

A woman who did not marry before a certain age and did not enter into a relationship with a man has always been called an old maid. Today, “old maids” are extremely difficult to find, but previously there were such girls in every village.

How they become old maids - page 2

psychology » How they become old maids
Now the appearance.

Anyone who says that a woman’s appearance is not the main thing is lying in the most blatant way. Spit in his eye, he deserves it.

“What do you value most in a woman?” – she asked. “Soul,” he replied. (And looked at her feet).

If a woman is scary as hell, I don’t think any man will be interested in her inner world. Unless they are humanist writers and professional polygamists and swindlers. Well, maybe also a pathologist, when she gives her soul to God. So, I’m probably lying, after all. There are also people of non-traditional sexual orientation, the so-called fagots, but their gender is a controversial issue. You can’t call her a woman (although they would consider this the most exquisite compliment), and calling her a man is like pointing at a donkey and saying that it is a horse, a thoroughbred Arabian horse. By the way, queers are not indifferent to beautiful women. They hate them with a fierce hatred. They probably see them as dangerous competitors.

So, appearance.

Like some men, let's start with the feet. Short skirts, skirts with slits, leather skirts, tight trousers, shorts, breeches, capri pants - all this should be immediately expelled from your wardrobe, just as a high school student who pestered his teacher with obscene proposals was expelled from the Komsomol. Throw it in a landfill, give it to friends, use it for rags, cut it into small pieces, or hide it in a closet (not high school clothes, clothes). The main thing is don’t dare to wear it. Never and under any circumstances, even at a funeral. And, especially, don’t wear leggings.

By the way, old bachelors can’t stand women in leggings. Probably, beautiful women's legs evoke painful associations in their senile brains. “Oh, what an idiot I was when I was young. Then I had so many chances, and I, and I... Be silent, sad, be silent.” But this is if your legs can be called beautiful or more or less slender. If their shape resembles a wheel, you can safely wear the above items. Well, if your lower limbs are also hairy, then in the summer you are generally prescribed exclusively a miniskirt or shorts and no tights.

In general, it is better to dress inconspicuously, as they say, modestly. Take, again, the example of Cinderella before her meeting with the fairy. By the way, such an image will not only scare away many potential gentlemen, but will also inspire others to sympathize with your poverty, even if your dad manages millions. Who else can we take an example from? Yes, from the nuns. Have you ever seen someone pestering them? Personally, I don’t. Gray ankle-length skirt. A nondescript blouse that resembles a potato sack. Read in the novel “12 Chairs” how the old women dressed in the almshouse, where Bender came to pick up chicks, ugh, to look for chairs. That's it.

Shoes should be chosen as nondescript.

As the secretary said in “Office Romance,” like a shoe, like a woman. Well, a man will approach a plain-looking woman only if he is hopelessly drunk. He won’t be able to do anything, and he’ll forget you the next day. Don't even think about pedicure.

We rise higher. Another very dangerous area is the bust.

It’s good if it is not visible under a microscope and cannot be palpated, because there is nothing to palpate there. And if there... in general, there is something to touch, then what? Then - no tight blouses, no necklines! A blouse with a cut reminiscent of a farm bag will partially solve this painful problem. Plus, of course, your impeccable behavior. Any, even accidental, touch to this area should be responded to with a blow to the nose. Or in the groin. So that you know, you bastard, what a restricted zone is.

We rise even higher. It is advisable not to use cosmetics.

If you use it, then in such a way that it evokes either sympathy or ridicule among others. There is no third.

An example from life. I have one teacher acquaintance, an old maid of the Soviet era. Actually, I'm not interested in old ladies, but when I saw her, I was tempted to ask what she used to paint her lips, lipstick or red pencil. True, I never asked her this question, although, theoretically, I could have (after passing the test). I was probably a very shy guy. You can safely pour nail polish into the toilet, although no, it’s better not to, it can ruin the toilet.

Now the hair.

The right hairstyle can radically change a woman's life. If you have clearly decided to remain a virgin, then most likely you will need the help of a hairdresser. Get a boyish or crew cut. Isn't it cool? Well, who will dare to pester you now? Perhaps a homeless person or a graduate of a school for the mentally retarded.

Another option is to twist your hair into a bun and show it to others. Perm should not be done. Dyeing your hair is also not advisable. It’s a different matter if you are a natural blonde, then you need to dye your hair to some other color, more neutral. For example, in green. But - without fanaticism. Hair should have a dull, sickly appearance. And - unkempt. As unkempt as you are.

A few more tips regarding behavior. Strengthen your inferiority complex.

If your height does not reach 175, that’s it, you are almost a dwarf. 175 and above is big. Take a closer look at your shortcomings, listen to the words of your friends. They say that you have an ugly figure? This means that it is so, even if almost all the men are looking after you.

Feel free to criticize men.

All together, like a biological species to which the drunken monkey has degraded. And each individually, so to speak, personally. Write three words on a piece of paper. “All men are bastards (brutes, goats, whatever you like).” Get into the habit of repeating this phrase at least a hundred times a day. At home, in transport, in the company of friends, at work, including the boss’s office. Everywhere. The attitude of men towards you will change, I promise.

No seas!

A holiday romance is something you should be wary of above all else. In general, try not to take a vacation. As old Krupsky used to say: “Gabbot, gabot and gabot again.” No, that’s what one warrant officer said, also, by the way, a rare bastard. If your idiot boss finally forced you to go on vacation, then keep him busy with something useful so that there is no time left for all sorts of stupid things. I mentioned cleaning the apartment. Undertake long-term repairs. Buy yourself (or pick up from a trash heap) about two dozen cats. Then cleaning the apartment without repairs will absorb all your free time, like the ocean swallowed the Titanic. You can enroll in a religious sect. This helped some girls.

So, here are the basic guidelines on how to remain a virgin. You may find it difficult to follow them at first. Do not despair. A person gets used to everything. The main thing is to hold out until you are fifty years old, and then it will be easier. Your future is in your hands, and in your feet too.

Author: Vlad Klimushinsky

Page 1 » Page 2

Comment

Read also:

Types of males in big city families

Classification of men from dating sites

Bad male habits and their sexual implications

What fairy tale is your man from?

Marriage in Rus'

In the Middle Ages in Rus', girls were married at the age of 14-15! Teenagers by today's definition, these girls were considered old enough to acquire the status of a family person, to become a wife and mother. They looked at the eighteen-year-old girls with doubt: “Isn’t the beauty a little old?” Girls after twenty were left with virtually no chance of marriage - the “product” was becoming obsolete. The offensive nickname “old maid” was firmly attached to ladies after twenty-five years of age.

This strange approach, according to contemporaries, was explained quite simply. The reason for early marriage was not the fertility of women - and at twenty-five a girl is capable of bearing children. The root of early marriage lay in the desire of men to make a wife of a girl who had not yet formed in their beliefs, to mold her into a good wife “for themselves,” according to their desires. It was believed that a young girl would become a wife obedient to her husband in everything, would be hardworking and child-loving. Of course, at 25, she could no longer be as accommodating and flexible. The matrimonial traditions of ancient Rus' were based on a patriarchal approach to family formation.

The fate of old maids in Rus'

Old maids were called "gray tops." If all the girl’s peers had already started families and children, such a woman became a “century woman.” Vekovukha could not participate in girls' gatherings, but she was obliged to braid her hair, wear modest, dark clothes, and not attract attention to herself in appearance. She did not participate in holiday festivities, did not have fun with others, and only atone for the “sin” of celibacy. The fate of the old maid was sad.

Despised by everyone, especially her family friends, she could only live with her parents or, after their death, with her brother and his family. The responsibilities of performing household chores fell on her shoulders. Sometimes the vekovukhs managed the household, but more often they became outcasts, subjected to ridicule and persecution. They were afraid of old maids, believing that they, in search of unrealized love, could have sexual relations with demons and become witches with an evil eye and evil intentions. In an effort to avoid such a fate and ridicule, some of the old maids of Rus' went to a monastery, devoting their lives to God.