Reasons for decreased libido
The reasons for decreased libido after childbirth can be divided into physiological and psychological. Physiological factors:
- changes in hormonal levels;
- endured heavy load during childbirth;
- fatigue in the first months;
- chest pain due to lactation.
The main reason for decreased libido after childbirth is hormonal changes. In the process of evolution, it was important that a mother not abandon her newborn child. This led to changes in the hormonal levels of women who gave birth in such a way that they were maximally absorbed by the child. Plus, there is a natural defense mechanism of the body itself. Repeated pregnancy within several months is impossible, which means the level of hormones responsible for the feeling of sexual arousal decreases.
Another factor is the heavy load on the body during childbirth. Natural childbirth is excruciating pain and enormous stress. In the following months, not a single woman can even think about sex while the memories of the torment she endured are fresh. In the case of a cesarean section, having sex in the first 2 months is prohibited for medical reasons, so as not to damage recently applied sutures and organs that have not fully recovered after the operation.
Chronic fatigue and lack of sleep do not contribute to sexual desire
In addition, for the first few months a woman has no time for sex. All attention is taken by the newborn, who needs to be fed by the hour. If mastopathy appears at the same time, just the thought of intimate intimacy with your husband causes pain.
As a rule, physiological factors as an excuse for low libido are relevant only in the first 2-3 months after childbirth. Then the body gradually recovers and sexual desire should ideally return to normal. However, this is where the psychological reasons for decreased libido come into play:
- postpartum depression;
- chronic lack of sleep;
- dissatisfaction with your body;
- lack of proper rest.
According to women who have become mothers for the first time, in the first six months after the birth of the long-awaited first child, you don’t want sex, but sleep. This is due to constant fatigue and the inability to relax for a moment. Cases of increased libido after childbirth are very rare precisely because a woman simply does not have time to satisfy her sexual needs.
A decrease in sexual desire or libido after childbirth may be associated with postpartum depression. This is a serious condition of nervous system dysfunction that every second woman faces. In this case, a woman should not look for ways to restore libido after childbirth, but contact a specialist who will help get rid of depression.
Another important psychological reason that prevents normal sexual activity is dissatisfaction with one’s own appearance after the birth of a child. The body undergoes changes in the process of bearing a child, and it takes time to restore its previous shape. Some women regain their previous skin tone in a couple of months, but in most cases, physical fitness is restored in about six months.
Thus, libido after childbirth decreases due to changes in sex hormones, as well as for a number of other reasons that are in one way or another connected with the appearance of the baby. Doctors say there is nothing to worry about in the first six months. Low sexual desire in this case is absolutely normal and should not be a cause for concern. The problem begins only if 7 or more months have passed after the birth, and the intimate life of the married couple has not resumed.
Why do pregnant women experience an increase in libido?
Why may libido increase at the beginning of pregnancy? There are several reasons for this:
- An increase in sexual desire in a pregnant woman occurs due to changes in hormonal levels, resulting in increased secretion of lubricant. In addition, in this case, the woman’s genitals become more sensitive, which gives special enhanced sensations during sexual intercourse. However, often in the first few months there is a decrease in libido, which is also caused by hormonal changes.
- Breast enlargement and nipple hardening are also considered one of the reasons for increased libido. In this case, even with a light touch to the breast, the woman feels a strong increase in sexual desire, which may not go away for a long time. But still, this reason is not considered common, since enlargement of the mammary glands often results in severe pain and discomfort.
- The physical condition of the body also affects the increase in libido. If a woman feels well, does not suffer from toxicosis, and also leads a calm lifestyle, this has the best effect on sexual relationships.
- An increase in blood volume in the pelvic organs is the main reason for increased libido in early pregnancy. As a result of this, there is a strong increase in sexual desire, since the blood stimulates the genitals and independently starts the active process of lubricant production. However, every woman perceives this condition differently - for some it brings pleasure and gives a lot of pleasant sensations, while for others sex only brings pain, itching and does not cause orgasm at all.
Increasing libido during pregnancy is an individual process. If a woman has no sex drive, there is no need to be upset. Doctors say that in the second trimester the body’s condition returns to normal, and the pregnant woman can already afford sexual relations.
How to increase libido without drugs?
If libido is lost, some time must pass after childbirth, after which we can talk about the problem. In the first six months, there is no problem as such, since a decrease in libido is an absolutely normal reaction of the body to the trials it has undergone.
Those who want to know how to restore libido in women after childbirth should be patient and take their time. Restoring libido after childbirth is a long process and at the initial stage it only needs a little push. It is recommended that medications be delayed until at least 1 year has passed after childbirth.
Several non-drug methods that will help both lift your mood in the postpartum period and increase libido, and make a woman a little happier.
- Nothing will help restore libido after childbirth like proper rest. A man who wants to bring a fulfilling sex life back into his marriage must learn to give his woman a day off. On this day, only the father takes care of the child, and the mother is given the opportunity to finally relax in the company of friends, go to a beauty salon, or just visit her favorite coffee shop.
- It is important not only to “unload” a woman, but also to help her feel desired again. It should be remembered that refusal of sex is quite likely associated with dissatisfaction with one’s own figure, which can be eliminated with just a few compliments and signs of attention.
- You can use food to stimulate libido. A romantic dinner by candlelight with plenty of seafood, spices, aromatic coffee and natural chocolate is a real stimulant of female arousal that almost always works.
- Aphrodisiac essential oils - ylang-ylang, patchouli, tuberose - also contribute to the restoration of sexual desire and female libido after childbirth. These smells put a woman in the right mood and effectively relieve stress.
The methods listed will help both increase libido in women after childbirth and add a touch of romance to family life. Periodic use of the listed methods can become a secret weapon in the hands of every man, if necessary, to lusciously tune a woman into the desired mood.
If a young father takes part of the care of the baby upon himself, the relationship will only benefit
How to regain passion after childbirth?
In the life of almost every woman there comes a period when she becomes not only a “beloved” or “wife”, but also a mother. This is a very joyful time, but, unfortunately, it is rarely without problems of an intimate nature.
Walking, worrying about the baby, constant care for him and enormous responsibility for his life - these are the main priorities of a woman after childbirth.
But we must not forget that there is also a husband nearby. He is a protector, provider and support who needs not only praise and care, but also intimacy. All dads are waiting for the moment when their wife wants to share their bed with them again. But the mother’s body needs to get into the right shape, which will take at least one and a half, but more often two months.
Return to duty
When the hormonal balance has been restored, all the damage has healed, and the pain has been forgotten, the desire, as a rule, returns. A woman herself feels when she is completely ready for intimacy with her man, but to finally make sure of this, it is worth visiting a gynecologist.
In some poses you may feel some discomfort, as well as dryness, but all this is normal. Not enough hormones are produced, and the structure of the organs changes slightly. Everything will be restored in a couple of weeks, and at first, you can use a lubricant to reduce dryness.
Lost libido?
Sometimes a woman is worried, too tired, dissatisfied with her body, or feels irritated that her husband is not helping. All this leads to the fact that the young mother simply does not want sex, depriving the man of the attention that he really needs.
To avoid distance between spouses, you should definitely set aside time for intimacy, for example, send grandmothers for a walk with the baby, so that parents have at least an hour and a half for intimacy. In addition, there is no need to neglect your appearance, because a man, as you know, loves with his eyes!
If the husband is scared
In some cases, a woman seems ready to once again become a reverent lover for her husband, but the husband continually comes up with a variety of reasons for evading “duty.” Tired at work, didn't get enough sleep, feeling unwell.
But you shouldn’t think that the young mother is not interested in him sexually, because it could be a matter of fear. If a man was present at the birth, then it is quite possible that such a spectacle was a real shock for him: he began to relate differently to his wife, as well as to intimacy with her. By the way, some representatives of the stronger sex, when making love to a young mother, feel guilty before their own child for encroaching on someone else’s territory.
In such a situation, you need to explain to the man that his wife is not a porcelain vase and that proximity will not break her. The child is surrounded by care, his mother is no longer in pain, and his beloved is still the most desired in the world!
After forced abstinence, intimacy is necessary, especially since after renewal the female body is able to react completely differently to touch, giving more vivid impressions!
Ekaterina Chizhova (Simora), especially for the Brondinka website.
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Mission accomplished, or how to get sex back after childbirth?
After the birth of a baby, every woman needs a special atmosphere where there is no place for stress and anxiety. Of course, it takes some time for mommy to get back into shape, but it can be shortened with fairly simple methods.
Time for yourself!
Quality rest is the first step to improving your sex life after having a baby. Worries about the baby and sleepless nights, of course, negatively affect the well-being of the new mother: she experiences extreme fatigue, and thoughts about intimacy fade into the background.
More on the topic
How not to be nervous during pregnancy and why is stress so dangerous during this period?
When does a woman usually lose her belly after childbirth?
When can you have sex after childbirth?
When will the dark stripe on the stomach go away after childbirth and how to speed up the process?
Blood after sex during pregnancy
But even in such a busy schedule, you need to find time for yourself. Give your loved ones the opportunity to spend time with the baby, and during this time try to get a good night's sleep, take a bath with aromatic oils, and have a romantic evening with your partner. Such events will provide an opportunity to relax and help you tune into an intimate mood.
Secrets of Harmony
Many sexologists recommend that women who have given birth take more walks in the fresh air and walk barefoot, especially along the sandy shore. Experts also advise partners to massage their significant other’s feet, because it is in this part that there are points that, by massaging, can increase her libido.
Essential oil therapy
Many will be surprised, but aromatic oils cause sexual passion in women. They can be used for massage, especially erotic massage. For example, the following oils have a stimulating effect: citrus, ylang, geranium, sandalwood. Tactile contact and aromatherapy will produce an unforgettable effect.
Experiment!
There is no need to wait until a woman is ready for sex; this period may drag on. Bold experiments in sexual life help increase libido in the postpartum period. Try to make some changes to your intimate life: change positions, try different sexual games and toys, watch an erotic film together, extend the time of foreplay, and also try to have sex more often. Such innovations will not only bring intimacy back into your life after childbirth, but will also make you feel hitherto unknown emotions.
Nutrition
A balanced and healthy diet is the easiest way to increase libido in a postpartum woman. However, a nursing mother needs to be extremely careful when expanding her menu so as not to provoke an allergic reaction in the baby.
Preference should be given to those products that contain vitamins A and E, as well as zinc, magnesium and manganese. Scientists have proven that these components have a positive effect on increasing sexual desire. A young mother’s diet should include fresh vegetables and fruits, eggs, herbs, nuts, poultry, beef, fish, and seafood.
Physical activity
This method will help return a woman to her previous shape and, accordingly, increase confidence in her own attractiveness. In addition, do not forget that physical activity has a positive effect on the performance of all systems and organs of the body. Do gymnastics, go in for fitness, sign up for a swimming pool or dancing. If this is not possible, then do the exercises at home.
Pharmaceuticals
Of course, you should not take oral medications to increase libido during lactation, as they can harm the baby. But topical lubricating gels can significantly improve the quality of sexual life. Give preference to those products that do not contain dyes or harmful components, but which have a quality certificate.
How does libido manifest during pregnancy?
Libido during pregnancy also has its manifestations in the second trimester. This period is wonderful not only for the improvement in general condition, but also for the new sensations that arise during sexual intercourse. True, all this is purely individual, and not everyone experiences attraction, but this tendency is observed quite often for most women. Moreover, approximately forty-five percent of them experience sensations that they did not experience before pregnancy. The second trimester is a great time to have sex throughout the entire period of pregnancy, unless, of course, there are contraindications that threaten premature termination of pregnancy.
The woman feels well, all the dangers and anxieties associated with the first trimester gradually subside, she has a desire to take care of herself and take care of her appearance. She has completely adjusted and gotten used to her new state, and sexual attraction is not long in coming. Doctors only encourage having sex during this period of pregnancy if both desire and the woman does not experience any discomfort. Moreover, such a small tummy allows you to experiment with poses.
The painful sensations of enlarged breasts disappear, and the growing volume of blood improves the filling of the blood vessels of all organs, including the vulva and vagina during sexual arousal, increasing the hydration of the genitals. And this, as you know, exacerbates sexual sensations. All erogenous zones are in readiness No. 1 and are very sensitive. There are often cases when women experience their first orgasm during this period. Libido during pregnancy can give pleasant surprises in the form of the sensation of multiple orgasms, which the woman had not even suspected before. The feeling of a certain freedom also adds spice. The fear of getting pregnant goes away, and the existing pregnancy is realized quite clearly and thoroughly.