When can you have sex after giving birth?
You can begin sexual relations within 4-6 weeks after discharge from the hospital. During this time, vaginal ruptures heal, the placenta attaches to the wall of the uterine cavity, the uterus and vagina return to normal, to their normal volume. Until this time, the entire uterus is essentially an open wound, which can easily become infected, causing endometritis (inflammation of the uterus). To restore the tone of the perineal muscles, it is recommended to do Kegel exercises.
If you think that after a caesarean section you can neglect these rules, then you are mistaken. The place where the placenta attaches to the wall of the uterus should also heal and become scarred. You also need to wait until the scar on the uterus heals. In any case, only a doctor will tell you how long after childbirth you can have sex.
When does postpartum discharge end and why can blood bleed during sex?
Postpartum discharge, lochia , with normal postpartum recovery should end by 6-8 weeks after birth. The fact that everything is normal in the body is indicated by a gradual decrease in discharge and a change in its color to light and transparent. During this period, sex should be avoided, because there is a high risk of infection .
Sometimes a couple can take a risk and make love when the discharge is already weak or has almost stopped. Everything went fine, but after sex there is blood , what’s the matter?
Firstly, sex can dramatically increase lochia discharge and it may well be slightly bloody.
Secondly, the vaginal walls and suture sites (if you have them) have not yet fully recovered. Friction during sexual intercourse can easily injure the delicate mucous membrane, and therefore blood appears.
Thirdly, it may be menstruation triggered by sexual intercourse. There is a small percentage of women whose periods come immediately after lochia ends.
Attention ! It's easy to confuse menstruation and uterine bleeding! Therefore, if blood appears, you should definitely visit a gynecologist.
Return of desire
For physiological reasons, in the first year after the birth of a child, a woman experiences increased vaginal dryness, even if she is very aroused. This is because the body does not see the need for it. After all, it is too early to have a new child while there is a baby who needs the mother’s care and her undivided attention. It may also be a subconscious fear, because a significant part of the reproductive system has been injured and the penetration of a foreign body into it can cause severe pain.
There may also be simple fatigue: a small child takes a lot of energy, especially if caring for him needs to be combined with housework. By nightfall, a woman just wants to fall and fall asleep, without participating in “games under the blanket.” And nervous tension, the expectation that at the most crucial moment the child will wake up and demand attention. All this does not contribute to a return to sexual activity.
Psychologists also note that many women harbor a grudge against a man. He didn’t have to go through a difficult birth, devote 100% of his time to the child, and even run the household. This is why new mothers deliberately refuse sex, hoping in this way to get at least a little revenge on their husbands.
Many women lose confidence in themselves. The birth of a child leaves many marks on the body: stretch marks, sagging breasts, lax skin of the perineum. The woman ceases to feel desired and is embarrassed to appear naked in front of her husband.
The presence of all these problems does not mean that this is the end of the sexual relationship between parents. Lubricant will help with vaginal dryness. The tenderness and tenderness of a man’s attitude will help a woman feel more confident. And if the husband also helps with everyday chores, the mother will have the strength to caress not only the child. To relax and establish contact, you can try starting with a massage or lying in the bath. It is also important to take into account the choice of position: the woman herself must control the depth and force of penetration in order to “test the waters.” And if nervous tension prevents you from relaxing because of the little man in the next room, ask your grandmother to walk with him for a while.
Temporary difficulties that can be dealt with
The problems that couples encounter after the birth of a child in matters of sex are divided into two groups: physiological and psychological. Sometimes a problem such as vaginal dryness occurs. This issue is most easily resolved. Dryness occurs due to the fact that sudden hormonal changes in the postpartum period often lead to a lack of estrogen, the hormone that helps moisturize the genitals. Mothers who are breastfeeding notice this especially often.
This happens even when a woman has no problems with sexual arousal and she herself desires intimacy. In this case, it is quite easy to help yourself: use any lubricant creams (moisturizers), lubricants, neutral creams, gels, etc., which can be purchased at pharmacies.
The choice of lubricants is quite varied. They are fat-based and water-based, with vitamins and herbal extracts, with and without anti-infective components. Just remember that all these products should not contain hormones, especially if you are breastfeeding.
Your doctor may recommend using condoms. Don't ignore his advice. This old, proven remedy can protect your body, which is still weakened after childbirth, from a banal infection like staphylococcus, which in ordinary life may not pose any danger, but is easily activated in the postpartum period. In addition, a condom for lubrication is not a hindrance; on the contrary, one product will only complement the other.
If you were given stitches during childbirth and now during intimacy you are bothered by pain in the perineum (or, conversely, a local decrease in sensitivity), although the stitches have long been removed, this may be due to the fact that irritation of damaged nerves occurs at the site of scar tissue endings. In this case, you should be patient: the pain will go away over time, and the former sensitivity will be restored.
You can help yourself with the help of special ointments to soften scar tissue. Find out which specific product you can use by consulting your doctor. There is no point in avoiding marital intimacy for this reason. You need to carefully select the most comfortable position for contact, studying and delving into your new sensations and capabilities. This attitude towards your body will bring the desired results, sexual function will be restored and will delight you with vivid experiences.
Contraception
There is speculation that as long as a woman is breastfeeding or her menstrual cycle has not returned to normal, there is no need to be afraid of a new pregnancy. It is because of such false information that many couples become pregnant “by accident.” Therefore, if such a quick new conception is not part of your plans, you need to take care of protection.
- Hormonal drugs are not always suitable. Some of them can harm the baby by passing through the blood into the mother's breast milk. Although some experts argue that with the correct selection of contraception, such problems can be avoided.
- Barrier contraception is good: condoms. diaphragm, spermicides. They provide up to 97% protection against unplanned pregnancy. To improve the effect, you can combine spermicidal lubricant with a diaphragm.
- Installation of an intrauterine device is indicated no earlier than six months after childbirth. The main thing is that everything heals completely.
Restoring sexual relations becomes the final stage of rehabilitation after pregnancy. Sex after the first birth is especially exciting, but even it can be managed if you approach it wisely.
Can't or don't want to?
One of the main problems of a woman after childbirth is a drop in libido . This is a natural process, because hormonal levels change, especially in women who are breastfed. The desire may simply not exist. Plus, to the natural drop in libido is added fatigue, lack of sleep, irritability, dissatisfaction with one’s appearance and new position.
Many husbands do not understand this and add fuel to the fire by saying that the missus looks bad, or by being indignant at the fact that yesterday’s borscht was for breakfast and the shirt was not ironed. There is no time for sexuality when there is a child in one hand, a vacuum cleaner in the other, and a bun on the head, tied with the first elastic band that comes along.
Often women not so much don’t want sex themselves as they can’t because of fatigue and accumulated unrealized aggression. There are also those who subconsciously punish their husband for his disrespectful attitude.
There is only one way to deal with this - unload your mother. Give her time to take a shower, drink tea, and go to a manicure or hairdresser once a week. She needs a place where she can feel like a woman , beautiful and well-groomed.
Do I need to protect myself?
After the period when you conceived a child, and pregnancy, when there was no need for protection, many people relax and stop monitoring safety. And they can pay for this by finding themselves pregnant 4-6 months after giving birth.
The myth that you won’t get pregnant while you breastfeed is quite common. This is wrong. Once a woman's menstruation resumes, she can become pregnant again.
This is dangerous because the orgasm is worn out by previous births and it takes from a year to 3 years in some cases to recover.
How to protect yourself?
The calendar method or interrupted sexual intercourse is not suitable for you; it is best if a gynecologist prescribes contraception.
Reliable contraceptive methods for you will be:
- Barrier method (condoms and caps);
- spermicides (suppositories, tablets, creams);
- hormonal contraceptives (if you are a nursing mother, check with your gynecologist which ones are allowed for you);
- intrauterine device.
What is the best position for my baby to give birth?
Labor is almost always faster and easier if your baby is in a head-down position with the back of his head facing your belly. This position of the fetus is called “cephalic presentation, anterior view.” In most cases, the baby takes exactly this position by the end of pregnancy. Being in the forward position, the baby is most comfortable in the curve of your womb. During labor, the baby tilts his head forward so that his chin touches his chest. In this position, childbirth proceeds easier and faster, because in this case:
- During contractions, the crown of the baby puts gentle and even pressure on the cervix. This promotes the dilation of the cervix and the release of hormones necessary for the successful course of labor.
- During pushing, the child passes through the pelvic bones at an angle at which the smallest circumference of his head is in front. To better visualize this, try wearing a shirt with a tight-fitting high collar, without hiding your chin, and everything will immediately become clear to you.
- When the baby reaches the pelvic floor, he turns his head slightly so that the widest part of it is in the widest part of the pelvis. In this case, the back of his head may pass under your pubic bone. When born, the baby leaves the mother's body, sliding his face along the surface located between the vagina and the anus (perineum).
