Meeting your future mother-in-law: how to make a good impression
Introduction
Sooner or later in a girl’s life there comes that most exciting moment of meeting the mother of her loved one. If the mother of your chosen one has known you since childhood, then everything is simple. And if you have to meet her for the first time, then there is always a slight excitement, because you have to please and adequately present yourself to your future mother-in-law. Our advice will help you develop the right position in this important life situation.
The meeting date must be set in advance
Meeting expectant mother No. 2 should not be spontaneous. For example, if she came home early and accidentally found you visiting. Or another situation: your chosen one returned home to take something and on the go introduced you to his mother. In any case, both you and your future mother-in-law will feel uncomfortable. It is better to set a date for meeting and carefully prepare for it.
Find out your mother-in-law's interests in advance
Before the meeting, do not hesitate to ask your husband as much as possible about his mother. This way you will have an idea of what kind of person she is: a simple-minded woman or with aristocratic manners, a homemaker or a careerist. Knowing her interests will make it easier for you to choose a good gift.
Don't go to visit empty-handed
Be sure to give the expectant mother some pleasant surprise. Let it not be too expensive, as gifts that are too expensive may embarrass her. Choose something that she would really like and remind her of you. Let the guy buy her favorite flowers and you will present them together.
Be yourself
Many girls, in order to please their mother-in-law, try to pass themselves off as someone they really are not. If you are modest, do not try to seem like a talker and vice versa. It looks very unnatural. Besides, over time, your mother-in-law will recognize you exactly as you are. Just be yourself, but don't go overboard.
Be an attentive and interesting conversationalist
Know how to carry on a conversation, ask your mother-in-law about your son and their family. If she talks about something, don't be shy to ask questions. Let her understand that she is interesting and important to you. But you shouldn’t curry favor with her too much, try to please her in everything, such tactics are fundamentally wrong. You shouldn’t be too smart either, trying to show that you are the smartest and most educated. If you are asked about you and your family, do not hesitate to answer and tell the truth.
Sometimes, your mother-in-law crosses boundaries and interferes in your relationship, so you need to remain wise to set boundaries from the very beginning.
Don't be shy to ask for advice
Show your mother-in-law her importance in your life with your loved one. Even if you know the answer, ask her for advice about some life situation. This will definitely increase your rating in the eyes of your loved one’s mother. Show that you are not going to push her out of your son’s life, but just want to take a place next to him.
Dress appropriately for the situation
On the day you meet your future mother-in-law, you don’t have to look extravagant, be in your best and most expensive outfit, with a lot of jewelry and bright makeup. Dress according to the situation. If you are meeting at your loved one’s home, wear comfortable clothes. If you have to go to a restaurant, let it be a dress. But the main thing is that any outfit you choose should be discreet. No matter how modern your beloved’s mother is, she will still want to see a decent girl next to her son.
No matter what anyone says, the husband’s mother always plays an important role in the life of a young family. How your relationship with her will develop in the future largely depends on your first acquaintance. Let it pass calmly and in the best possible way.
Meeting your mother-in-law according to all the rules
Do you really want to marry a certain person? Isn’t your future mother-in-law a gift? Remember, the first impression when meeting your mother-in-law is very important, because it is difficult to change in the future. It is difficult to win the favor of a person who is a priori negative towards you, at least this happens in real life very often. However, everything is in our hands. Of course, we can wish you to be yourself, but for some reason in this situation we are always afraid of this.
Preparing for the first meeting with your future mother-in-law requires considerable emotional and mental effort. Most importantly, don't be afraid of it. If your attitude is initially negative, then nothing good will come of it. Accept the situation and hope that you are building a relationship with a normal and adequate person, and not with an evil mother-in-law. After all, in the future you will not live with her, but with her son.
How to look when meeting your mother-in-law
Of course, before meeting your future mother-in-law, you need to think about your appearance, from the color of your manicure to your clothes and shoes. Since you don't know what liberties you can take in choosing clothes, play it safe. Let your appearance be unobtrusive and elegant. There is no need to listen to your partner’s opinion in this matter. Whatever he says about his beloved mother, this is only his subjective opinion, and it may be wrong.
Makeup, in turn, should not be provocative either. Lightly highlight your eyes, this will be enough. Let your future mother-in-law see in you not promiscuity, but feminine sophistication.
Give the person time to get used to you. And in the future you will be able to afford more in clothes, makeup, and, in fact, in behavior.
When it comes to shoes, choose comfortable, well-broken-in ones that will allow you to feel relaxed and at ease when you first meet your future mother-in-law. Never wear shoes you just bought! After an hour, it will be impossible to remove the pained expression from your face. And it may be misinterpreted by your interlocutors.
Don't forget that your companion should look in accordance with your style. You are a couple, and you must choose clothes for each other in agreement (this also applies to all other joint outings). Mom always sees a magnificent man in her son. And if, for example, he comes to a meeting in a worn but beloved T-shirt, only you will be to blame, since you could not influence his decision. God knows what thoughts will arise in her head in such a situation!
Make sure that both his hair and his clothes are at least neat.
Meeting your mother-in-law - First impression
The moment has come when you met the appraising gaze of the future “mother”. Do not be afraid! Remember to be polite. Greet with a smile and make direct eye contact. Give a thoughtful and measured compliment. Don’t look away, otherwise your mother-in-law will understand that you can be controlled, and in the future you will only receive valuable instructions in your life together with her son.
Let her know that you will speak “as equals.” Do not allow her to take a condescending and lecturing tone. However, you should not take a defensive or offensive position. Don’t try to impose your point of view; no one has ever succeeded in doing this. And the impression of a cheeky and daring girl will be remembered for a long time.
Pay attention to your voice. The pace of speech should be calm and measured. It is, of course, worth practicing in advance, namely, the day before the meeting, film yourself on a video camera and, together with a friend, analyze what you saw. A friend is needed to objectively evaluate your behavior and point out possible mistakes that you yourself may not see.
On the recording, look at facial expressions, gestures, voice, and intended posture. Think about what your weaknesses and strengths are, and what you can focus on. Your behavior during the conversation can affect future relationships.
Try to win over your father-in-law as your supporter. His opinion for his wife, of course, is not authoritative in most cases. But, as they say, water wears away stones. And in the future it may be of service. And every girl intuitively knows how to attract a man as an ally.
Under no circumstances try to defend yourself against minor attacks, even if your mother-in-law’s opinion is unacceptable to you. This will only mean that you are to blame.
Focus on the positive aspects of your partner. Praise, but in moderation, his upbringing, instilled habits, and under no circumstances, when meeting him, do not point out his shortcomings. If you are really unlucky and when they meet you they start teaching you about life, take heart! Be patient and listen to the end of the notation with your head held high. Try to find something constructive in this criticism. Thank you for the “very important opinion” expressed for you.
Didn't the evening go very smoothly? But now you know what tactics need to be developed to conquer his family, if all these nerves are worth your future husband. I wish you good luck in climbing to extreme heights in your relationship with your mother-in-law! Source of the article “Meeting Your Mother-in-Law”
We are going to meet our future mother-in-law. I'm starting to panic
Girls, from the bottom of my heart I want to congratulate everyone on the upcoming New Year and wish you all the best!
Now to the heart of the matter. I have been dating a young man for almost 2 years, my daughter is not his. This New Year he finally persuaded me to go and meet his parents. They live in the regional center 135 kilometers from us. I have never seen them. There are also 17-year-old younger brother and sister, they are twins. Dad won't be there at this time; he's on duty in Moscow. My mother’s mother is a good woman, punchy, I would even say. Together with her husband, they helped their son enter and study in the city, provided for him during his studies, and now his sister is studying at a technical school in the city. For the sake of the children, they try their best: all the children are “accustomed to life”, they can do everything around the house and with housework. In general, they are simple, good people; my mother always gives my daughter gifts for the holidays. But there are a few things that bother me about the trip.
1. We are going with our daughter. There is a two-room apartment there and it turns out that six of us will live in it for 3 days! I’m afraid to embarrass people, although mine calms me down, and my mother has been calling us for a long time.
2. My daughter has a problem with the toilet while sleeping at night - she may wet herself, this happens often. Of course, I take absorbent oilcloths and 2 sheets, but it’s still inconvenient because of this, I don’t know what will happen.
3. IMPORTANT! My mother has been telling me for almost six months of our meetings: “Get married, get married, you’re drying out the girl’s brains”))) But somehow I don’t want to, I’ve already been married. My Oleg wants to get married, gather guests, but I don’t like this noise and drinking, and I’m sorry for the money. So for now we live as is. But now that he bought me a bunch of things for my apartment and did a lot of things with his own hands, added money for the dacha, my mother is afraid that after this I might kick him out and everything will go to me))) I’m afraid that he will also ask me about the wedding, and you can no longer get rid of your mom with jokes like: “No, no, I’m still little”) What can you say in this case and in general how to behave if the topic comes up about this?
4. These are my cockroaches, of course. But my mother, a person of old views, I’m afraid, will think that her son has found a “walking woman”, since I go on visits, spend the night, etc. without marriage. And in general, I’m afraid that my mother won’t like me.
We're going tomorrow! The closer the trip, the more I panic and run first to the computer, then to the bowl of salad, which I carefully plan as a present) Girls, give me moral support and advice. Or share your stories of meeting your mother-in-law, how everything went for you, maybe some funny moments, at least I’ll have fun, otherwise I’m such a jitter.
Situation three
The worst situation is if you come across a mother who is a tyrant, who deep down categorically does not want to share her “overgrown child” with another woman.
The mother greets you as if her son had brought a prostitute into the house, or she simply ignores you, as if you were not there at all.
At the table he is silent all the time, or even worse, he begins to criticize your clothes, appearance, manners, in general, everything that concerns you personally.
In a word, he provokes a scandal with all his actions.
You do everything to save this first dinner together and not become the initiator of a scandal. Trying not to aggravate the situation, and not to spoil the nascent relationship, you silently tolerate this rudeness addressed to you.
Of course, from childhood you were taught to treat people of the older generation with respect, but this does not mean at all that you should allow yourself to be treated with such disrespect. If you ignore this the first time, pretending that it did not affect you, then you will continue to hear these insults regularly.
Do not allow anyone to humiliate you under any circumstances, even the parent of your young man.
Get up and leave after the first unflattering phrase addressed to you. In such a situation, this is the most appropriate reaction. If your friend is worthy of you, be sure that only thanks to this reaction of yours will he be able to explain himself to his mother quite definitely. And if he doesn’t do this... it’s unlikely that your family life will be able to last happily ever after. After all, to build harmonious family relationships, it is necessary that a man at some point prefer you to his mother.
Thus, he will not only gain your trust, but also possibly have a positive impact on the relationship between two women he cares about.
Good luck, prudence and endurance in this difficult test!
