“This is already the fifth cup of coffee or tenth cigarette today.” “You look too young to take on such an important project.” “Should you change your hairstyle? It will make you look more competent." There are so many barbs and comments one encounters in the office.
Improvisation is the key to success
The answer should come within the next three seconds. Delay is akin to defeat. If you don't find the right words quickly, then it's better to remain silent. Daniela Kauer, founder of Training und Theater, has been teaching spontaneity for several years. Her approach is based on improvisation and theater arts. “I would advise everyone to use defensive tactics, since most “offenders” choose easy prey for themselves, says Daniela Kauer in an interview with DW. “Your job is to make yourself respected so that your opponent is no longer tempted to attack you.”
Daniela Cauer
How often do you think about how you could respond to a colleague’s impudent remark? Smart words, as a rule, are easier to find in a calm environment. And here your imagination, fueled by awakened eloquence, gives no rest, but time has passed. “Special techniques can help especially modest people, but we must remember that your inner attitude and behavior are the key to success. Self-doubt will ruin even the most witty answer,” says a specialist from Munich.
An eye for an eye
There are a large number of spontaneous response techniques. An inappropriate and impudent statement from a colleague can be measured with an indifferent glance, ignored, changing the topic of conversation, retorted or responded with a “compliment” to a “compliment” according to the example:
—Have you ever attended a spelling class? -And you? And you can ask where, then I definitely won’t contact this address.
Context
“At your age, it’s time to settle down.”
The interlocutor who insults your lifestyle would probably not mind being more free and carefree. He would like, perhaps, to chase pigeons across the roofs, as in the songs of his youth, or to go to Goa, but the mortgage is in the way, and he is not endowed with talent that brings money. Or maybe he just doesn’t understand how someone at an advanced age can be cheerful and still undecided? He has everything laid out on the shelves, signed and labeled.
Maybe he wants to remind you that life is fleeting? And he will try to reason with you, who have gone off the rails of everyday life. In any case, it’s better to think about your life alone with yourself, and not in front of a snob who uses words like “settle down.”
How to answer the question? There are many options here. If you are an extreme sports enthusiast, a traveler, a womanizer, or simply unemployed, throw the bore a couple of photos from your latest parties, hikes or walks. Be positive. If you truly love your lifestyle, it's for a reason. As you know, accountants and surfers cannot understand each other. If your opponent doesn't know that different people exist, well, you shouldn't lecture him. Just answer with any phrase starting with the word “but” and add a few points why you get a thrill from this kind of life.
“Try to make friends with your head”
It all started with the fact that Nikita was once again on social networks, reading posts, reposting, leaving comments. Actually, the usual leisure time of the modern average person. And then a post from one girl caught his eye. The young lady argued that she did not believe in friendship with men, since they only need to get a woman into bed. Making friends with other representatives of the fair sex is also not an option. There is envy, competition, gossip, etc. It’s not for nothing that they say that there is no such thing as female friendship. “So who should you be friends with then?” — the author of the post asked at the end of her monologue.
Abnormal cold will come to the European part of Russia, Siberia and the Urals
Top tourist attractions in The Hague: 120 meter long painting
The daughter of Vdovichenkov and Filippova turned 15 years old. She got the best of both
Perhaps the question was rhetorical and did not require an answer. Perhaps it was just a cry from the heart, but our hero could not remain silent. Without thinking twice, he wrote in the comments: “Try to make friends with your head.” When Nikita saw his recording on the monitor screen, he noted to himself that it sounded very rude, although it was originally intended to be a joke. Then he thought about his behavior and even analyzed his whole life.
“Your other half could earn more”
This phrase can be used to reproach a husband or young man who, in the eyes of your interlocutor, is a loser sitting on your fragile neck. Although an opponent who suspects your girlfriend of commercialism can start such a conversation: she doesn’t work, but rolls around like cheese in butter.
If you answer these questions by talking about the difficulties in the job market, it looks like an excuse. Whatever it is, there is no need to give an exhaustive answer to such a barb. With this remark, an acquaintance or colleague puts you in an awkward position and doubts the integrity of your spouse. In these situations, it is enough to answer that everything suits you and move the topic of conversation in a different direction.
how to respond to a taunt
From VKontakte. Sorry, but the author was not indicated. I’m hooked, I want to share this with you... and ask - did this happen to you?
CHILDREN IN MY LIFE.
I remembered with what torment and denial of everything I was born, as a mother for my children. It’s indecent to boast, but I will boast about one thing. Which is very important and makes me essentially. When everything is bad, I don’t run away, I don’t heal, I don’t polish, I don’t smooth out. I just live in this “shitty” situation, remain silent and allow myself to continue to drown. It's actually scary, that's why I'm bragging. But all the best things that happened in my life happened precisely because when I started to drown, I continued to drown. And what was below was not the bottom, but the other side. So it is with motherhood. I went through this whole apocalypse “my life is over and why is all this for?” And I didn’t heal it with “higher meaning.” I just waited until the answer came. And here it is:
Never in your life will there be a greater opportunity to cleanse your world of empty husks. If you thought that happiness was in lacquered stilettos or zebrawood parquet, then you will understand what crap you wasted the precious time of your own living life on, how small your little joys really were. They will remain, you can even share them with your child if you wish, but joys of a completely different depth will open up in your life. You will feel sorry that you spent half your life on such nonsense as decorating a house like an egg, and you will try not to waste the second half of it just as mediocrely.
You will gain the ability to compress time and live three lives instead of one. Those joys that remain in your life will bring you much more pleasure, because there will be less time for them, and you will not waste it on nonsense. Whatever you love - movies, books, get-togethers with friends, cooking - you will quickly learn to get rid of the second-rate and choose the worthwhile. You will understand the difference between wasting time and filling time, and learn how to fill it with valuable and important things.
You will become bolder. You will be forced to overcome the fears that stood in your way. You were afraid of authorities - you will become the most disruptive mother. You were embarrassed to communicate with strangers - you won’t even notice how you stop being shy. You will learn to defend your rights, and learn to seek compromise. You will have a free crash course on psychology, negotiation, attention and composure. You will discover a lot of abilities in yourself that you never suspected, and suddenly you will understand that you are strong, mature, brave, reckless, gentle, caring, open, loving - and anything else that you did not suspect about before children. You will learn a lot and mature a lot. Having a child will constantly push you out of your comfort zone, which is where life begins.
You will finally understand what you love and what you want. You will stop groveling to please, or pushing away in fear. You will have to find your comfort limits and defend them, you will have to learn to hear and see someone other than yourself. You will become thinner, wiser, stronger. You will learn to speak so that you are heard, you will learn to say “no” and accept “no”, you will learn to ask and you will learn to give in.
Your child will never live up to your expectations. It will make you realize how foolish it is to have expectations. The child will not adapt to your plans. You will understand how pointless it is to make plans. You will learn the great ability to accept life, in its momentary joys and frustrations, you will begin to love life keenly and every second, and not live in the gloss of marketing.
You will learn to see through patterns and stereotypes. You will learn to see people - not their clothes, success or status. Your social circle will change, your relationships with men will change. You will no longer waste time on empty chatter with empty people, those who are truly close will remain next to you, and those on whom you wasted your time and life will leave.
You will stop killing yourself at work. You will still love it if it is your favorite job, but you will learn to separate the wheat from the chaff and stop killing yourself for who knows what. In business terms, you will have a healthy balance.
You will learn a lot of new things. You will learn to understand girls with tattoos and understand football teams. You will like some of this and some not, but in any case your life will become wider and deeper.
You will learn to give not for thanks, but because it’s great. You will no longer be dependent on the market economy of relationships, your relationships will become real, alive. Both with children and with others.
You will stop proving anything to your parents. You will finally grow up and accept them too, in all their imperfections, with love and quiet understanding. Their barbs will stop hurting you, their stupidity will touch you. You will stop being a constantly offended teenager, and suddenly, having understood and accepted them, you will be able to understand and accept yourself and your child, all with the same love and quiet understanding.
And most importantly, you will learn to love. You will understand that love is not throwing around in a frenzy of bouquet-hormonal foreplay, not touching your chubby little hands to the point of cramps in your cheeks, not smug pride that he aims to go to Harvard (although these emotions will also be present from time to time), but this is absolutely, in general about something else. That love is an internal illuminating force to support another being in his desire to be and come true. This is the intimacy that you have been looking for all your life from your parents and partners - in advance, in advance, the trust of another being in you for the whole life.
And you will have a choice. To reject this closeness, closing yourself off with plans, habits and stereotypes, building walls of expectations and disappointments between you, in order to ultimately prove to yourself once again that there is no love, no intimacy, no happiness on earth, and there is no time to love and there is nothing to love, and remain cynical, unhappy and right.
Or accept this closeness, protecting it from your nonsense, values, expectations and plans, meet it openly, accepting the challenge to change, learn, grow. And never be right again, but live and love
Complexes
What was the reason for this behavior and attitude towards your spouse? After all, he really loved her (and still loves her) and could not imagine his life without her. She just couldn’t fight back, and our hero took out all the negative emotions on her. Mean and low jokes were an indicator of his hidden fear and aggression. Our hero didn’t have the courage to talk openly about what bothered him, what he didn’t like. He suppressed negativity, kept his emotions inside, and then released them with hurtful jokes. The man “laughed” at fear, problems, internal complexes, and even himself sincerely believed that his jokes sounded funny and witty.
Crumbled biscuit, powdered sugar and apple sauce: prepare a hearty treat
Where to relax without leaving the country: Crimea has become the most popular resort
Royal Enfield has released a women's collection of motorcycle equipment for the first time
Friends and relatives also got it from Nikita. When someone was offended, our hero assured them that it was just an innocent joke. Like, nothing personal. But, oddly enough, on an intuitive level the man felt about whom he should not say offensive words to. He never teased or mocked anyone who could give him a worthy rebuff and put him in his place.
