You can't tell your heart who to love. Now, when contacts with people of other nationalities and religions are not limited in any way, there are often cases when love breaks out between two opposites - for example, a Christian and a Muslim. Men of the Muslim faith court beautifully, say pleasant words, and read poetry. But having married a Muslim , Slavic girls are faced with a reality that is exactly the opposite of their expectations. So should you blindly trust your feelings or is it better to carefully weigh all the pros and cons before deciding to take such a fateful step?
Wedding
I couldn’t come to the groom’s house as a bride, so we got married in Belarus.
I accidentally found out that there is an Islamic society in Minsk. We met with the imam (cleric), he told us about the duties of a wife and husband in Islam, asked for consent and married us in the presence of witnesses.
For our arrival in Dagestan, my husband’s family prepared tables at home with treats for guests: one table for women, another for men.
Usually there are 300-1000 people at weddings. The whole day or 2 days they meet and see off guests. Everyone comes when they can, from morning to evening: to drink tea, eat, congratulate, give a gift.
When a son is married, the parents, if possible, build him a house, and the bride’s parents, if possible, provide the newlyweds with furniture and utensils. These are local customs.
According to Islam, the groom must pay the bride a mahr (wedding gift) - an amount of money agreed upon between the groom and the bride's parents. The bride spends this money for her personal needs.
There is a tradition of stealing brides, which Islam condemns and prohibits. That is, a guy steals an unmarried girl and then informs her relatives about it. Since it is unknown where they were and what they were doing, she is forced to marry him - other guys will no longer woo him.
They marry off, just like with us, some early, some late. But more often it’s early.
This excludes relationships before marriage, illegitimate children, abortions, illnesses, disrespectful attitudes towards girls among boys and disappointment in boys among girls.
Think about the children
Like any other woman, when you think about marriage, you also think about children. Is it true? Now let’s imagine that by grace you will remain a “Christian”, even if your husband is a Muslim. But do you think about what will happen when children appear?
The father will want them to be raised in the spirit of Islam and according to the Islamic doctrine “every child is born a Muslim.” As a result, you have every chance of becoming this weapon for the spread of Islam in the world, namely “the womb of a woman.” And the worst thing is that this “womb” will be of a “Christian” woman... What will you do when you want to go to Church on Sunday and your husband will not allow you to take your beloved children so that they can worship God? What will you do then? I will say – “NOTHING”.
Now, Think about it: If everything is the color shown above and there seems to be no chance of it looking any different, then what blessings will there be in this marriage?
Marriage was intended by God to be a blessing, a piece of heaven here on earth. What kind of “paradise” will you have if everything looks like the one described above? Know that there will be many Muslims who will attack what I wrote above. They will say that in Christianity, men also beat their wives. Remember what I say - yes, violence does happen among Christians... But our God strongly condemns violent behavior between husband and wife. The God of the Bible does not condone such behavior, but commands all husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her (Ephesians 5:25).
There is a big difference when someone beats his wife and knows that it is a sin and it is completely different to beat his wife believing that you are fulfilling the “word” of Allah. Are you ready to become part of such consequences?
May God bless you and save you from this wrong step, for which you will have to pay for the rest of your life.
Translation: Moses Natalya
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Man and woman
The wife is not obliged to work; her duty is to care for the children and do household chores. And the husband is obliged to fully provide for the family financially and resolve any external issues.
A husband has no right to beat his wife. If the wife behaves unworthily (disgustingly), then after three warnings and explanations and a boycott, if she does not stop, he can hit her, at most, with a toothbrush or get a divorce.
There is no tyranny or domestic violence there. But since the husband provides and resolves all family issues, the wife should consult with him in everything and try not to create new problems for him.
The wife is obliged to inform her husband about where she is going and seek his consent. This moment was very strange and unusual for me at first, but now I don’t see a problem with it.
Neither women nor men go to cafes and restaurants. Instead, they go to visit relatives, including the most distant ones, ten cousins.
Unfortunately, in Belarus the responsibilities of men and women are often confused and problems arise because of this.
A woman has to deal with everything at once: work, children, cleaning, cooking, and sometimes solve all the family problems on her own.
Marry a Muslim
Hello, dear women!
This article will help those girls and women who decide to marry a Muslim. Or are considering such a possibility in the future. The motives are clear - Muslims do not drink alcohol, consider family a holy cause, and earn good money. Let's look together at the pros and cons of living with a Muslim husband if you yourself do not profess Islam.
Marry a Muslim
Marry a Muslim
First, let’s reassure those who are afraid that religion will not allow a Muslim to marry a “non-Christian.” Islam allows such marriage (without forcing a Christian woman to renounce her faith). BUT! Children born will be required to convert to Islam. And yet, the word of parents is law for Muslims. So if the groom's parents are against such a union, he will submit to their will and break off relations with you.
Family traditions
If you are no longer satisfied with your compatriots and you still decide to marry a Muslim, you should familiarize yourself with the rules of life in a Muslim family. Do not flatter yourself if, when you meet, a young man shows himself to be brought up in Western traditions. He will leave his “advancement” and Western manners at the doorstep after the wedding, so you can immediately forget about equality in the family. The husband's word in a Muslim family is the only true and legal one. In general, psychologists advise looking at your fiancé not in the context of ordinary social life, but at his behavior in his own family. At the same time, the behavior of his parents. If they are adherents of strict Muslim traditions, then you will have to put up with the requirements to comply with them after the wedding. Of course, Muslim husbands listen to what their wives tell them, but they always have the last word.
Requirements
The main responsibility of a woman married to a Muslim is to run the household, raise children and care for her husband (she will have to please him in everything). Forget about making independent decisions - you will have to ask your husband for permission for any planned action. For example, if you suddenly decide to go to work. If he allows it, do not forget that all household chores will continue to be yours.
When marrying a Muslim, you must remember to follow the rule “A wife pleases only the eyes of her husband, and not other men!” You will be expected to follow the rules for wearing jewelry and clothing - the body must be completely hidden, jewelry should not be visible. And when meeting other men, you have to lower your eyes. To be fair, it must be said that this rule applies 100% to Muslim women. But a husband can demand that his Christian wife comply with them (and his word is law, remember?)
Refusal of intimacy is not allowed (a number with “I have a headache” will not work). Refusal is possible only on critical days, after childbirth, during the Hajj or during illness.
You cannot leave home without obtaining your husband’s consent. You need to be able to walk around the house silently. You also cannot enter someone else's house without the consent of your spouse.
Polygamy
Not often, but polygamy still occurs today. When marrying a Muslim, be prepared for the appearance of 3 more wives (if the husband is able to support several women, Islam allows their number to be increased to 4). By the way, the husband always consults with his first wife whether she is against the appearance of another (two, three..) in the family. Remember this and it will be better if you discuss this delicate point with the man before the wedding.
Divorce
You are not prohibited from filing for divorce, but you will need a sufficiently compelling reason for this (for example, physical violence). Husbands have the right to punish their wives physically, but only for serious reasons and in such a way that no marks are left on the body. If you did not convert to Islam during your marriage, then after the divorce the child remains with the father. There are no exceptions here and you have to come to terms with it.
pros
If all of the above does not frighten you, then by marrying a Muslim you will find a man who will be a sympathetic family man, a wonderful father with high moral principles, who does not accept alcohol, who honors his religion, yours and his parents, and who devotes all his strength to the well-being of the family, keeping it in prosperity. Moreover, it respects your religion.
You can meet a Muslim on dating sites (including international ones) or in real life - at a university, in a restaurant, at a disco - anywhere! Dating sites are preferable in the sense that you immediately see a man’s profile and have an idea about him and his inclinations. In addition, the sites have a huge selection. You don't waste time dating men who won't suit you once you get to know them. You enter into correspondence and learn a lot about a person in advance before you agree to a first date with him. You can find trusted dating sites here.
Weigh the pros and cons if you are thinking of marrying a Muslim before making your final decision. And having accepted it, act!
Wish you happiness!
Now smile:
“A Muslim oil tycoon fell in love with a Russian beauty. I went to her parents to ask for their daughter’s hand in marriage: “I fell in love with your daughter!” And so that you will not be so sad that she will live with me in another country, I am ready to pay you for her in gold, as much as she weighs.
The girl’s father replies: “You understand, we need to think about it, let’s talk about this in a month.” The sheikh leaves. The girl’s mother praises her husband: “You really need to think, otherwise the Muslims, with their harems... ” “What is there to think about!” We have a month ahead of us! We need to fatten up our daughter!”
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Family customs
According to Sharia (Islamic law), if believers quarrel over a domestic issue and do not speak, it is prohibited to be in a quarrel for more than 3 days. And whoever was the first to reconcile will have a good deed recorded in the next world.
There are a huge number of nationalities in the country, and nationalities are divided by area of residence and each area has its own language. In total, there are probably about 30 languages in Dagestan, and most of them are not written, so outside the home everyone communicates in Russian.
People are also divided according to religious indicators: those who study and follow Islam, and those who only consider themselves Muslims, but do not adhere to Islam and lead a secular lifestyle.
My husband's family strives to follow Islam:
- perform namaz (prayer) 5 times a day;
- A woman can only have her face and hands exposed in front of strangers;
- men wear beards and go to the mosque;
- everyone fasts during the month of Ramadan;
- give obligatory alms, etc.
- women do not talk unnecessarily even with men they know.
What does Islam say about the love of a boy and a girl?
Wa alaikum assalaam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh!
In the name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful. All praise and thanks be to Allah, peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Thank you for your trust. We call upon Allah Almighty to enlighten our hearts to the truth and grant us blessings in this world and on the Day of Judgment. Amine.
Apparently, questions about love and feelings are asked very often these days, which is a reflection of the realities of novels, stories, films, etc. So, many girls have become overly attached to this, and I fear for many of them that who - one may be deceived by these feelings, subject to ridicule, especially if we are talking about adolescence and youth, when the heart rushes in emptiness and the sweetness of speech, rising on the threshold, penetrates deep into the soul, and without asking us about it. Unfortunately, there is also a type of young man who loves to play these games or does it just for fun, and then proudly declares in the company of his comrades that I was able to break the inaccessibility of such and such a girl and she gave up. And that for tomorrow and the day after tomorrow there are second and third hunting objects, etc.
Therefore, I advise Muslim girls not to be deceived by sweet speeches, but to listen to the advice of their parents and guardians, and in no case to marry just because of feelings, because first of all, it is necessary to weigh everything properly and approach it wisely. This is on the one hand.
On the other hand, I appeal to all parents and guardians: you must consider the wishes of your daughters. The father should not condone the will of his daughter, treating this as a matter of secondary importance and, as a result, marrying her off to someone she would not like, and she, in turn, will be disgusted with her husband and be in a state of dejection for those what she was forced to do. In the end, should a father live with her husband?! She has to live with him, so she should be happy. Naturally, it does not follow from this that the relationship between a girl and a boy before marriage should manifest itself only in emotions. But, at a minimum, the future companion should be pleasant to her, and she should be disposed towards him. Based on this, Islam orders the young man to personally meet the girl whose hand he will ask so that they can see each other with their own eyes:
“After all, truly, it will be better if you like each other,”
as it is said in the hadith.
Islamic Sharia strives to ensure that family life is based on the mutual agreement of all parties involved in this issue in one way or another. The girl must express her consent or, at a minimum, express her opinion with all frankness. If she is shy, then she can behave in such a way as to modestly express her consent, for example, by remaining silent:
“The virgin should be asked for her consent. Her silence will be her consent. And a woman who has been married has more rights to decide for herself,”
those. A divorced woman or widow should openly state: “I am satisfied and agree.” As for a virgin, if she is asked and she remains silent or smiles, then this is enough for a positive answer. If she says no or cries, then (and this is clear) you cannot force her. After all, the Prophet himself (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) annulled the marriage of a woman who was given in marriage without her consent.
Some hadiths also say that one girl was forced into marriage by her father. She complained to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who tried to persuade her three times to satisfy her father's will, but she stood her ground. Seeing her tenacity and perseverance, he told her:
"Do whatever you want".
After this, the girl said: “I allow what my father did. However, I wanted the fathers to know that they have nothing in this matter.”
Allah Almighty knows best.
Cloth
The climate here is hot, in the summer 25-35 degrees in the shade, and we are completely covered from head to toe. Men are also prohibited from wearing shorts and without a T-shirt.
In fact, Islamic dress is a relief. We can say that in general, life according to Islam is a relief for a woman.
No layer of makeup, no costs for expensive paints. This saves money, a lot of time and healthy skin. If you wish, you can apply makeup at home for your husband. No heels - your feet don't hurt.
No tight-fitting clothes - you don’t worry that you don’t have a model’s figure, don’t have a tan, etc.
There is a minimum loss of time for buying clothes; you can generally buy any clothes you like without trying them on. Just take the size - it will still fit, as it is loose.
There is no need to torment and spoil your hair with haircuts, curling irons, varnishes, dyes and also pay for it. If you want, spoil it, of course, but you still cover your hair in public with a scarf.
What do Muslims really think about Russian women?
Good day, dear ones. I read the story “Is marriage between a Muslim and a Christian possible” and decided to write it.
I am a Muslim and proud of it, do you know why? Because from childhood we are taught how to live correctly according to the Rules of Allah God.
Allah God sent us a holy book and for those who do not know this, this is the book of the Muslims, the KORAN, and the Christians have the BIBLE.
Everyone who writes here about deception, etc. I advise you to pick up the QURAN or the BIBLE at least once and read it before bed every day for 20 minutes and you will understand a lot! Yes, there are bad people, female and male, both in the Muslim world and in the Christian world, but this does not mean that everyone is like that!!! Don't judge us!
Yes, the world has changed and now everything is open, etc. BUT you look at the Muslim world in this regard and the Christian one. Most Muslims, regardless of their status, try to suppress such moments, but in the Christian world, on the contrary, they promote sex, prostitution, and have gone so far as to openly declare on TV about the mandatory use of condoms.
For what? Is everything that dirty? Is such a high percentage of catching the infection?
How many people are sick with this infection? What can our kids take from this propaganda?
Regarding the virgin, why do you think Muslims have such a law? So that the girl can assess the situation. She will not be able to get married freely and without problems if she has already passed the bed!
What's the plus? There are fewer people who think that sex is free and sleep with whoever they want, and this and at least this is a plus - there are fewer infectious diseases! PURITY!
Muslims have 7 wives! For many, this is funny and in general many do not understand how this is possible! There are many who laugh at this.
It is enough to live together for some time, the husband and wife face such problems as - like you looked at her or cheated on me or left me, etc. What is the result? In the best case, the wound remains and you continue to live with this person and always feel afraid that he or she will do it again.
In the worst case scenario, you get a divorce and you are left alone, and the chance of finding a soul mate is reduced! And Muslims have an average of 3 wives. What does it mean?
This means: the husband does not run around, paying equal attention to each wife, and he no longer needs to cheat - which means that a marriage with a Muslim is more reliable (read about the features of such marriages here - note from the editors of the site intdate.ru).
Yes, it is very difficult to accept at first, but Muslims are very smart due to the fact that they read the Koran and prepare women for this moment from the very birth of the child!
Perhaps I wrote something wrong somewhere or made a mistake, but I think you understand that it’s easier to express your opinion live than by writing about it!
While you write one, you forget the second! I respect all faiths and love people and wish everyone to live according to the rules of Allah God, since we, in the best cases, and our loved ones in the worst cases, need to be responsible for our actions!
Allah God gave us life - a test, so let's look at this as a chance to show ourselves to Allah God from the best side, and not as most people think - born once, live once and do whatever and however I want!!!
Marriage is possible not only with a Muslim, but also with a person of a different faith! Every nation has different views on the world!
I would like to say this to Russian women. Do you want happiness with a Muslim? Do you want to marry a Muslim? Accept the rules of Muslim life! Read, learn about Muslims, about Muslim customs, about Muslim laws, and only then write that I was abandoned, deceived, etc.!
FOR MUSLIMS, IF A GIRL SLEEP WITH HIM BEFORE THE WEDDING, THIS IS A THREAT THAT SHE CAN ALSO SLEEP WITH ANOTHER ONE! BE HAPPY!
Alir, letter to the editor of the site intdate.ru
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Comment from the site administration:
Thank you, Alir, and you, our readers, for your keen interest in the topic. Indeed, there are a lot of disputes on the topic of interreligious marriages on our website. Of course, the Muslim faith differs from the Christian faith, as well as from any other, but to indiscriminately criticize it is simply savagery. We live in a civilized world and must understand that there are no bad nations or religions, there are simply bad people - those who live outside of any laws.
I agree with you, Alir, that before judging representatives of another religion, you need to look at yourself. We ourselves sometimes show disrespect, and we do it automatically, calling Muslims “Muslims.” And at the same time, we are very offended that in Turkey the Turks call many girls “Natashas”.
Before you get offended, think: where did these “Muslims” and “Natashas” come from? It’s not for nothing that beautiful names have become household names; it means that a specific person once left behind a negative impression. But the key word here is not nationality, not faith, but “specific” people.
The editor receives many letters, and in one of them the story of the Rostov girl Irina and the purebred Avar Gadzhi was written. Having met by chance, the guy fell in love with the girl, and over time they got married, and by the decision of her parents. It was hard for the girl, because she did not love Gadzhi, she only obeyed her father’s decision.
But the husband’s love was so great that he melted all the ice. Soon they had two girls, and without any dispute it was decided to baptize both. Irina and Gadzhi have been married for almost 40 years and live in such a way that their friends envy. It is appropriate to say here that the latter tried more than once to “steal away” Gadzhi, but all their efforts went to waste, because Gadzhi became a faithful husband.
If we talk about polygamy, then everything is not so simple. Indeed, the Koran does not prohibit, but allows not seven, but only four wives. At the same time, a Muslim cannot marry just like that, on a whim. He must provide for his wives equally. The Quran is strict and unforgiving in this regard, for example, a wife can leave her husband, and it will not be a sin if the husband does not pay close enough attention to her.
Do you know many modern Russian men who devote all their time to working for the benefit of their family and at the same time can still provide such attention to their only wife? Moreover, for a bride, a Muslim must pay a ransom to her parents, believe me, this is a considerable price. Therefore, not everything that is permitted by the Koran is implemented even by very religious people.
When planning to marry a Muslim, you need to ask yourself: are you ready to accept and understand the faith that is dear to your husband. Yes, the way of life is patriarchal in Muslim families, but this concept is not identical to the concept of tyranny and violence. Moreover, violence against one’s wife is a great sin among Muslims. If a woman behaves modestly, abstains from promiscuity, saves herself for the only thing - is this really a bad requirement? If you think about it, this is how a girl should be, no matter what religion she is.
Ekaterina, especially for the site intdate.ru
Life and traditions
People do not strive to get an apartment in the city center; they build a house to their own taste, often on the outskirts, plant a garden, in short, live in nature.
The kitchen is usually built separately from the main house so that frequent and numerous guests do not disturb family members.
On vacation, if desired, they go to the mountains (for berries and herbs) or to the sea, both of which are not far away. But such trips happen rarely: there is no wild desire of a city dweller to escape into nature.
Husbands and older sons work. The husband is obliged to provide his family with food and clothing. Women have a very respectful attitude towards men and their opinions.
Children treat their elders with great respect, do not argue, and are not rude. Most likely because women raise their children at home themselves and do not send them to kindergarten. Children get used to obeying their relatives, and not some aunt.
Families generally have many children (3-5 or more). The wife takes care of the children and doesn’t worry about how she can get a job, go on maternity leave, or go on sick leave.
Starting from the age of 5, children can be sent to learn to write and read Arabic (the Koran in Arabic), and sometimes learn the language completely. The teachers themselves are taught by parents who know Arabic. They teach not only children, but also interested adults.
Features of Muslim marriage
The marriage of a Muslim man and a Christian woman should be viewed through the prism of the norms of Muslim law, enshrined in adat and Sharia.
Adat are ancient customs that believers are obliged to strictly follow in their lives. And Sharia is the “right path” given to people by the Prophet Muhammad. Islam states that a woman should be an extraordinary person. For example, Khadija, the first wife of the Prophet Muhammad, was engaged in trade and herself invited him to marry her. Aisha, his second wife, left a lot of hasidim about the Prophet - information about his personal life. Muhammad respected his many wives, telling his followers that "You have rights over your women, and your women have rights over you."
But the Prophet also said that “Most of those who will go to hell will be women.” This controversial opinion of Muhammad about the female sex actually resulted in a severe restriction of the rights of Muslim women.
For example, in Saudi Arabia, women are actually prohibited from riding public transport; all parts of the body must be covered. Disobedience can result in imprisonment. And if she’s already behind bars, then there’s no early release, unlike men.
Therefore, a Slavic girl should think seven times before deciding to marry a Muslim. Will she be able to endure all the restrictions that life as a Muslim will impose on her if she has to leave for her husband’s homeland? After all, there you will have to change your faith.
Great love is not an excuse for a rash decision. You should verify your feelings with your mind. Passion may go away, but it is extremely difficult to rewrite a broken destiny.
Life in a Muslim family has its own nuances that a girl who wants to join her destiny with a Muslim simply needs to know. She must understand that Islamic traditions regarding family relationships are holy and unshakable. For example, she must not spend money without her husband’s permission and cannot leave home without a male escort for more than 3 days. Otherwise it will be considered incorrect. This already entails punishment.
Main features of Muslim marriage:
- The husband is the head of the family
. It is impossible to disobey, his word is strictly fulfilled. He can listen to his wife's opinion, but the decision is his. You should please your man in everything and always, even in sex. Refusing it without a serious reason (this could be, say, menstruation) is considered a serious fault. - Household
. The wife is obliged to conduct all household chores under the supervision of her mother-in-law. And strictly follow all her instructions. She is the eldest among the women of the family. He has no right to talk to her of his own free will, only when she speaks to her. - Work permit
. You need to ask your husband for it, he can give it, but this does not free you from housework. Muslim women can only work as doctors, nurses, teachers; they are prohibited from other professions. - A woman has no right to talk to strangers
. For disobedience there is a severe punishment; they can be charged with prostitution. - Wearing a hijab
. These are dark clothes that hide the body from prying eyes. What multi-colored dresses are here, so beloved by young people. Even the decorations cannot be seen by strangers. Everything is just for my husband. - You can't leave the house
. Only with the consent of your spouse, without his accompaniment or a relative, you cannot visit, for example, friends. - Maybe more than one wife
. I came to his homeland, and it turns out that he has three more wives at home. Muslim law allows polygamy. There is nowhere to go, you have to put up with it. - Punishment
. A husband can punish if his wife stubbornly refuses to obey him. But hitting is not allowed. If she can prove cases of physical violence against her, she can obtain a divorce. However, in this case, there is a very low probability that the Christian wife will take the children with her. The law is on the father's side here. - Restrictions on attendance at sporting events
. This is due to the fact that there will be involuntary communication with strangers, and this is strictly not allowed. - You can't drive a car
. Accordingly, a ban on obtaining a driver's license. In Saudi Arabia, being a female driver is a great sin. - Internet restriction
. Anyone who wants to marry a Muslim should know that in Muslim countries he is under strict control. Let's say there is a ban on social networks, dating sites, etc. The greatest restrictions exist in Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, Jordan, and Iran. Anyone who violates Islamic values on the Internet may end up in prison.
It is important to know! Islamic theologian al-Ghazali said: “Out of 1,000 virtues, only one applies to women, the remaining 999 apply to men.” Before a Christian woman marries a Muslim, she should carefully weigh all the pros and cons of such a union. So that later you don’t bitterly repent and don’t bite your elbows.
Typical day
My typical day is the day of a woman on vacation who takes care of household chores, herself, education, and hobbies. There is no schedule other than 5 obligatory daily prayers.
At dawn, the adhan (call to prayer) is shouted in the mosque and can be heard in every home. There are the words “prayer is better than sleep”, this is a special reminder for sleepyheads.
Everyone gets up to pray, and after that some are asleep and some are awake.
Some women sew and knit at home, cook for themselves and to order, go to lessons at the mosque to study religion, and learn to read Arabic.
Relationship between husband and wife according to Shari'a
When the Shari'a of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon Him, appeared, everyone knew their rights and everyone knew their obligations and there were strong families and traces of such relationships have been preserved to this day, despite the fact that Muslims have little knowledge of their religion. This has been preserved as adat (customs, traditions), for example, strong family relationships, obeying and loving each other, paying special attention to raising children, wishing for others what you wish for yourself.
Muslim society was different from non-Muslim society. For example, until the 19th century in Europe they thought that a woman was like an animal, they believed that a woman had no right to have property, they believed that a woman should have an owner to whom she would belong. Previously, there was even a tradition that when a husband died, the wives were buried too. That is, the woman was not treated as a person at all. In Arab countries before the Shari'ah of Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, it was considered a shame if someone had a daughter. They stabbed her to death or buried her alive. This was very common. Also, there were men who maintained relationships with women as they wanted. If any influential person came, he took a wife from another man to live with her. It also happened that husbands themselves gave their wives to some influential person, supposedly so that she would give birth to this person. It was a complete mess. There were cases when one woman had relationships with different men. And when I became pregnant, I wondered which of them was the father of the unborn child.
Islam prohibits such treatment of women. Islam teaches what is beneficial for the preservation of human moral character, that men and women know their rights and their responsibilities. This was not the case in Europe. However, when the revolution occurred, a new technology, a new civilization appeared, as they say, then the need for labor arose. It was then that the concept of “emancipation” appeared - the liberation of a woman, “giving her freedom.” All this had a negative impact on Western society and on the education of young people. A Muslim woman wears a headscarf - this is protection for her, protection from sins, by this she observes the commands of the Almighty, the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him.
Nowadays, many people take pictures of naked women, show them in movies, and publish them in magazines. Thus, the family was destroyed and the concept of morality was leveled. People live according to the principle you give me I give you. Even husband and wife each contribute their own amount to eat together. Many people are looking for benefits in life and a man, if he sees that he no longer needs his wife, then he leaves her, and when he leaves her, she has no protection. Islam has everything to preserve the dignity of a person, regardless of whether he is a man or a woman. This leads to peace and tranquility in the family. When there is knowledge of Islam, then everyone knows what he is obliged to observe and tries to do it.
Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “In relation to people, a woman is most obligated to her husband, and a man is most obligated to his mother.” Narrated by Imam Al-Hakim and others.
This hadith places special emphasis on the duties of a wife to her husband. Allah Almighty forbade her to leave the house without her husband’s permission (unless there are valid reasons from a religious point of view) and to go where her husband forbade her, regardless of whether her relatives were there or not. Allah also forbade a wife to deny her husband pleasure and his requests regarding her appearance without religious reasons. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “If a woman refuses her husband intimate relations without a reason, the Angels will curse her until the morning.” The Hadith was narrated by Imam Muslim from Abu Hurayrah. She may refuse if she is sick and unable to fulfill her husband’s request, or if her husband asks for something that is forbidden by religion. The wife must refuse her husband during menstruation or postpartum cleansing if he desires sexual relations or pleasure; or if she wants to have time to read the prayer, the time of which is already ending.
You cannot obey your husband if he asks for something that is forbidden by religion. One cannot obey what was created in violation of the commandments of the Almighty.
A woman must respect her husband and give him the place of honor as assigned to him according to Shari'ah. Allah Almighty said in the Qur'an in Surah An-Nisa, Ayah 34, which means: “Men have more advantages over women.” She must take care of her husband's money. She has no right to spend them without his permission. She must respect her husband’s parents and relatives and try to be like a daughter to them, that is, as obedient as the children of her husband’s parents.
A man often has to leave his family when going on business trips related to work or education. To make the happy moments of returning more pleasant, a woman should not hide her joy at the meeting, greet her husband tenderly, wear beautiful and clean clothes, start the conversation with good news, postponing the unpleasant ones until he has rested; let him feel that his wife was waiting for him and missed him very much.
In the absence of her husband, she should remember him with respect and honor and not complain about him in front of people. A woman must take care of herself and the honor of her family, and avoid any prohibited relationships with other people. She must also keep family secrets secret, especially those related to close relationships, and what the husband does not want to tell other people about. Husband and wife must keep everything that happens in their personal lives secret. Their personal life and family secrets should not be the subject of discussion in conversations with friends and girlfriends. A woman should try to give him what she herself would like to receive from him. As a result of this, she will earn his love, and he will greatly appreciate her attention if he understands. It is important that a woman appreciates her husband’s care and is grateful to him. Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said that most of the inhabitants of hell are ungrateful women who do not appreciate the kindness shown towards them. If you are grateful to your husband, he will rejoice, love you and try to do as much pleasure as possible. In case of ingratitude, the husband will be disappointed and ask himself: “Why would I do good to her if she will never appreciate it anyway?”
Consider what is given by the husband to the wife, even in small quantities, as a lot and express one’s gratitude, regardless of whether the support on his part is material or moral.
It is advisable for a woman to go to bed later than her husband and get up earlier in order to pay more attention to him.
The beauty of a woman is in her wisdom and patience. This is especially appreciated when her husband makes some mistake or other violations, and she does not endlessly criticize him for the words he uttered and the actions he committed. You especially should not criticize your husband in front of other people, as this hurts him. A woman should try to tell him what will make him happy, and try not to convey news that brings pain. You need to choose words and expressions that do not cause pain or offense. She should not demand the impossible from him, but, on the contrary, try to take into account his financial situation and choose the right time for her requests.
A woman needs to always be in good shape. To do this, she needs to monitor her figure and body; wear beautiful dresses, wear the best perfume; try to prevent her husband from seeing her in dirty clothes, without hair and unkempt. She needs to avoid prohibited types of jewelry, such as tattoos. In front of your husband, try to wear the dresses that he likes best; the same goes for the color of clothes, hairstyles and perfume.
In order for the husband's heart to be at peace for his wife, her actions and behavior must comply with Shari'a. A woman should please her husband with her beauty (look and dress up beautifully, be clean, keep her home clean). Do not clean the apartment, ignoring the requests of your husband. A wife's work outside the home should not come at the expense of her husband's peace of mind. She always needs to look at her husband as part of her, and not as an enemy and adversary.
A woman is the mistress of her husband's house. Imam Al-Bukhariy transmitted from Ibn 'Umar the following words of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him: “Every person is an owner, is responsible for his household and must take care of it. The ruler is the owner and must take care of the people. A man cares and is responsible for his family. A woman takes care of and is responsible for the home of her husband and children. Everyone is an owner and is responsible for their own household.”
A woman must observe obligatory fasting and prayer, as Allah commanded, but beyond that - fasting sunnah, only with the permission of her husband. Imam Al-Bukhariy reported from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said the following words: “A woman cannot keep fasting sunnah in the presence of her husband without his permission.” That is, if the husband is not on a trip (business trip). He has rights over his wife, and she must obey him.
She cannot receive guests without her husband's permission. Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “A woman cannot fast the sunnah in the presence of her husband without his permission, nor can she receive anyone in his house without his permission.”
A woman should welcome her husband at home with joy and show with all her appearance that she is expecting some pleasant news from him, even if he did not fulfill the request and did not bring anything. In the same way, say goodbye to him when he leaves home. Ask Allah Almighty for your husband to remain safe until his return, reading the following dhikr: “Astaudiukallaha allazi la todyu vuadaukhu,” which means: “I ask Allah to keep you.”
The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “If a woman read the fivefold prayer, fasted during the month of Ramadan, kept herself from adultery and was obedient to her husband, she herself will choose the gate through which she will enter Paradise.” This hadith was narrated by Ibn Hibban from Abu Huraira.
The wife also has her rights over her husband. For example, he must provide her with alimony - housing, food, clothing. Also, a husband cannot oppress his wife or beat her without the right. Confirmation of this is Ayat 19 of Surah An-Nisa, which means: “Treat your wife kindly.”
Indeed, the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “The best among you are those who treat women better.” If we compare believers among themselves, the best among them are those who treat women better. This means that they are more merciful, kinder and more considerate towards them. They help and forgive mistakes. Those who do this are the best of men.
Whoever has high morality has a degree of dignity similar to a person who fasts daily and reads an additional prayer at night. A humble person who forgives others and does not commit bad deeds is like someone who, for example, prays half the night and also observes the fasting sunnah for six or eight months. He is not obliged to do this, but for such pious deeds, he will receive a reward similar to one who has high morals. Being modest towards your women is required by religion.
Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon Him, said about Himself: “I treat my wives better than all of you.” The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon Him, taught us to treat women well, and said that He treats his wives and other women better than anyone else.
In order for there to be harmony in the family, a man must try, especially in the first week of marriage, not to demand from his wife what she is not able to fulfill. Do not remember the past, first of all this concerns bad events. Listen carefully to your wife, pay more attention to her and criticize her less. Don't make inappropriate comments. Encourage your wife in her requests and desires. Treat your wife with respect, decide on your relationship with each other, letting her understand that she needs her husband’s advice.
It is better for a man not to interfere as much as possible in everyday matters (kitchen, order in the apartment, and so on). Do more important things. Allow your wife to do what she likes and make comments in these matters only when absolutely necessary.
A man needs to be able to restrain himself and not be indignant in cases where she needs love and special attention, since this is one of the good qualities of a man and husband. But this in no way means that you need to remain silent and withdrawn in front of her, since this pushes the wife away from her husband and does not contribute to normal relationships.
In all areas of life, one must treat his wife the way he would want her to treat him. The companion of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, Ibn Abbas said that he loves to look beautiful in front of his wife, just as he loves for her to look beautiful in front of him.
It is advisable that a man consult with his wife about what to do or where to go, what to give and to whom, and so on.
You should not be angry - anger clouds the mind and opens the way to evil. Do not get used to using the word “divorce” often, as this is undesirable. This word can be said in extreme cases as “treatment.”
Men need to be kind to their wives and children. Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “The best of you are those who treat their family better.” This hadith was reported by Imam At-Tirmidhiy. Don't be stingy with your wife, yourself or children, but spend your money only on good things. All expenses for the family will be reimbursed. Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “The best money is that which is spent on the family.” This hadith was reported by Imams Muslim and Ahmad. A man should not reproach his wife for supporting her. This is his responsibility. If a man reproaches his wife for this, then he loses the reward for this good deed.
If you remember, then only with a good word from the wife’s relatives, since slander is a sin, in addition, slander leads to disagreements between spouses. The husband should be an example for his wife in observing obligations and protecting herself from sins and read prayer with her.
He should not observe what is forbidden, justifying himself by saying that a man is allowed polygamy and supposedly he can look at other women. Polygamy is permitted, but under certain conditions and rules according to Shari'a.
When a man returns home, he shouldn’t think that he’s the only one tired. If you think like this, it will lead to quarrels and disagreements, especially at the beginning of family life.
Sometimes a family is destroyed on the initiative of the husband, because some men treat their wives from a position of strength, are greedy, strict, or, on the contrary, have a weak will and overindulge. These are extremes. It is necessary to choose the middle, taking into account personal characteristics, without trampling on the rights of anyone, and also to have a high culture and morality, which guarantees success in family life.
A man should be happy with the little he has, but this little must be permitted according to Shari'a. Know that a wife’s beauty is relative (everyone has their own taste and looks at what they like), and not look for flaws in her, but find beauty in her culture and morality. And if you don’t like something about her at a given time, remember those qualities that you like. Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “Let a believer not hate a believer; if he doesn’t like one quality in her, then he will be pleased with another quality.”
Try to protect a pious wife, since she is one of her husband’s life treasures. Imam Muslim reported in his collection that 'Abdullah ibn 'Amr reported that the Messenger of Allah, Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “Life is given in order to do good. One of the best blessings in this world is to have a godly wife.”
We know from Imams Al-Bukhariy and Muslim that Abu Hurayrah conveyed the following words of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him: “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, and has witnessed anything, then let him speak only good or remain silent. Treat women well because woman (Eve) is made from a rib. It is known that the most crooked part is the upper part of the rib; if you try to straighten it, it will break, but if left untouched, it will remain crooked. Therefore, treat women with care."
It is advisable for a man to try to help his wife with household chores. The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon Him, loved people and helped his wives with household chores: he darned his clothes and mended his shoes, helped his wife in raising children and cleaning the house. One day, the wife of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, A'isha, was asked what the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, did when he was at home. She replied that He helped his family with the housework, and when it was time for prayer, he went to perform it. This hadith was reported by Imam Al-Bukhariy.
The husband is obliged to teach his wife what she is required to know by religion, or to ensure that she receives knowledge, or to allow her to leave the house to obtain the necessary knowledge if she does not already possess it.
The husband's responsibilities include: ordering his wife to read namaz, fasting during the month of Ramadan and covering his aura in front of strangers.
If a husband and wife do more than their duty to each other, it is a mercy on their part, and if they do it with pure intention, they will receive a reward for it.
Nowadays, men, unfortunately, do not treat their wives the way Allah loves, and women do not treat their husbands as they should. Unfortunately, many women complain that men treat them badly. Man loves to put himself above others, and there are few who act modestly for the sake of Allah. One who is humble towards other people will be joyful and do right things. A man, while at home, serves himself and does not wait for his wife to serve him. In this case, he has more respect and his actions are approved by Allah. The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, milked the sheep himself and did not require his wives to do this. He personally provided the necessities for his family. This is what modesty is all about.
A Muslim who treated his wife well in this life and she obeyed him, on the Day of Judgment they will be together. And if they oppressed each other, then when the Day of Judgment comes, they will run away from each other so that each does not demand compensation for his rights and is not responsible for the oppression that was in this life. When there is a Judgment, everyone will strive to find how to save themselves and will not think about others. They will run away because he oppressed her, and she because she did not do what she was obliged to do. This also applies to relationships with parents. They are also in this position. Each of the relatives who treated each other kindly strives to find each other in the Next World. And if they treated each other with oppression (even if one was an oppressor), then in the next world they will run away from each other and Allah is All-Knowing, we ask that He give us the wisdom to act correctly in our lives.
